Redlemon is gone PARTAY AT HIS HOUSE!
 

Redlemon has left for a vacay and asked us to hold down the fort. I recommend we hold it down by drinking excessively and wrecking the joint!

Let's start with some good old graffiti:

http://home.comcast.net/~27kimble/avatar5770_7.gif

ANARCHY IN REDLEMON'S CRIB!!!!!!!

Bring on the loose women!

I am there.

Fortunately, I am showing up naked. This will prevent any hard-to-remove stains on my expensive wardrobe.

I even borrowed a set of Safety Glasses from Clavus.

Lets Roll.

::waves hand:: May I be a loose woman? Pretty please?

Not only are you allowed, you are highly encouraged! :thumbsup:

http://home.comcast.net/~27kimble/red.gif

There's a delivery guy out front with a hot tub and a bouncy castle. He wants to know where to put them. :thumbsup:

Put them on the fish tank!

As a moderator I am going to have to ask you all to stop this nonsense!

How would you feel if this was your house getting trashed?
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Wait. Did someone say there'd be loose women and hot tubs?
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Nevermind...


/me cranks the tunes and pours himself a drink.

(and one on the floor for my homies).

I'm a little drunk by this point. Am I too late?

No, but if you have to puke, do it on his favorite pillow.

I could do what my room mate did and vomit all over my towel. :mad:

You mean the one we used to tar and feather his Beanie Baby collection?

Let's replace all of his lube with glue!

Uh oh.

I just shat in one of the heat vents.

You think Redlemon will notice? It smelled pretty rank in here already.



Where do you think he keeps the Absinthe?

Under the stairwell, behind the cases of beer. What? You didn't know about his beer cellar?

That should create some rather "sticky" situations.

Ohohohoh, i'm so clever :rolleyes:

Holy crap! Have you seen what he keeps in the attic?!?

You know, Redlemon could really use some new windows... this place is kind of dim.

/me fires up the chainsaw!

I brought a couple of gallons of pink paint. I thought I'd start down in his S&M Dungeon, and move on from there....

Neat! he has a cat! This will making wiping in the hard to reach places all the easier!

Just give me a minute... I need to rest up after satiating my appetite for destruction.

whattsa matter, getting old?

Who me? ::still searching for the white wine:: damn cretin. :(

Ahhhhh.... party day 5. Glad I could finally make it. Hey....nothing's been set on fire yet. What is wrong with you people!?

As a matter of fact, yes... don't worry sonny. I can still drink you under the table AND wreck this house like it's 1999...

(nice signature by the way... :lol: )

Hey, I wanna play too! *brings along a goat and a fire extinguisher*

Whoever set up the Slip-N-Slide on the staircase is a genius!

toss in a couple midgets and a clown and this party could get interesting

Last I saw them, the midgets were using the slip 'n' slide and the clown was getting naked for Nancy in the newly Pink BDSM room...


(just don't call Lucifer a clown to his face... it makes him angry)

/Ben wakes up in pile of own vomit...

Hey, whoever turned me over last night so that I wouldn't choke on my own puke, I owe you one!

/Looks around

Where are my pants?

Can someone help me nail all this bedroom furniture to the ceiling?

I think Nancy was trying to get the Clown to wear your pants... at least that's what it looked like... these mushrooms are wreaking havoc on my perceptions of things...

Alright, who fucked my pony???
And why is she wearing Ben's pants?

...Small pieces of last night are filtering in through the fog...

oh dear lord

I thought she said her name was Whinney.

okay
okay
don't panic.
Nobody saw you, or they would have said something by now.

That pony sure was a nice piece of ass...

It's a very sad but true fact that some of the boys who graduated with me from high school in the deep south did not fuck horses. The horses were too fast. So they fucked cows instead, while their girlfriends watched.

I wish I was making this up.

I hear soda water is good for removing stains. Can somebody get me a Cheerwine so I can clean up the fecal stains on the capret?

Don't bother cleaning the stains... just make more. They'll think we laid new carpet... with a paisley pattern.

Hey check it out! If we toss this oven rack on top <CLANG> and kick this drain pipe out from underneath like so <THUD> <CRUNCH> <OWWW> the kitchen sink makes a pretty decent bbq girll. No more goin out side to cook the steaks.

hmmmmm wonder what grilled pony tastes like.......

We could use these curtain rods as giant skewers! Pony Kabobs anyone?

That wasn't a pony! That was one of the midgets!!!

Midgets is good eatin'

We can always wrap up the meat and leave it in the freezer for Redlemon... he's going to be hungry when he gets back.

Pony's taste like chicken. (Didn't I already say that somewhere else?)

Finally found his *wine*. Let's just say that urine samples would beat this bottled crap. Wait a minute...no labels on the bottles I've been drinking. :eek:

Why do the towels say "His", "His" and "Jizz"???





/mmmm, pony-kebobs......HEY!!

Hey look! Redlemon's CD collection.
Let's see...

The Brady Bunch, It's a Sunshine Day
Yanni, Live At The Acropolis
John Tesh, Greatest Love Song Collection
Captain & Tenille, Greatest Hits
The Beerhaus Boys, Polka The Night Away
Culture Club, Kissing To Be Clever
Peaches And Herb, At Their Best
Kenny G, Greatest Hits
Aaron Carter, Aaron's Party
South Pacific, Soundtrack
Backstreet Boys, Millennium

:eek:
:hmm:
Oooookay then...
Let's just put those away, and forget that we ever saw them.

Does anyone know when the Penis Cake is getting here?

Sorry, that arrived a few hours ago...

Poppinjay ate most of it and then he rubbed the rest over his naked body screaming, "I am the Lizard King!!"

Honestly, it might have been Larry King but I just couldn't hear him over the sound of the jack hammer he was using on the basement floor.

Umm...why is there a police officer bound and gagged in one of the dining room chairs that hasn't been broken yet?

Tell me he's a stripper that the ladies ordered. Do strippers typically arrive in squad cars?

Oooooh, my head hurts....

You guys shouldn't let me drink so much Redlemon Urine. It sure does leave a nasty hangover.


I am surprising the big guy with an indoor pool when he gets back. Please don't open the upstairs bedroom door until he does. It will ruin the surprise. Hey Charlatan, thanks for finding that garden hose for me.

Ummm .....ya a stripper.....thats the ticket......just a stripper.....all part of the act.......nuthin to see here.......move along.....


/me hides "stripper" way in the back of redlemons closet

*presses RESET button located next to doorbell*

*walks inside*

Ah, home sweet home. Just like I left it.

Almost. Wait, what's that loose woman doing over there?

*grabs videocamera, self*

oooh reset button - i figured a match and some lighter fluid might be easier...

Reset button.

I gotta get me one of those.

Seriously.

Glad to have me pony back together.





/that's a good girl, Charlatana

No reset button is going to help that music collection Bill O'Rights discovered...

Welcome back!

That's only because he didn't open the cases. Where do YOU hide YOUR porn collection?

Ha!

I don't hide it.

serves y'all right for not liking the brady kids - the porn collection was the nekkid pictures of his missus :)

All my porn is live.

I like the way this thread has progressed...

/Charlatan resets the thread.