Truisms for life. Or, ...
 

...Everything I needed to know I learned the hard way.

Can we answer all of life's riddles with simple one-liners? Name your bit-o-wisdom. (Funny is okay but watch out for PC potholes.)

Starting things off:
"There will always be a market for straight jackets and/or sedation."

A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Whatever it is, I didn't do it...and I'll never do it again!!!

If something needs selling, it's not worth buying.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Experience is something gained right after you needed it.

Sorry
....

If it has tits or wheels, it will give you trouble.

Prior planning prevents poor performance.

ya don't tug on superman's cape...

The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire - caveat emptor.

hands bigger than yours, and an adam's apple do not a good hooker make.

Using a urinal is like taking a test. There's no talking and you keep your eyes on your own work.

ya don't spit into the wind...

Whoever loves the least, holds the most power in a relationship.

those who say that there are no stupid questions obviously have never been on the internet.

ya don't pull the mask off the ol' lone ranger......

Never park next to a smoking car.

it is better to try and fail, than to fail to try

...and ya don't mess around with slim...