uncle phil

we need to learn how to scan through previous posts...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

mixedmedia

Daddy Don't Live In That New York City No More - Steely Dan

Daddy don't live in that New York City
No more
He don't celebrate Sunday on a Saturday night
No more
Daddy don't need no lock and key
For the piece he stowed
Out on Avenue D
Daddy don't live in that New York City
No more

Daddy don't drive in that Eldorado
No more
He don't travel on down to the neighborhood
Liquor store
Lucy still loves her coke and rum
But she sits alone
'Cause her daddy can't come
Daddy don't drive in that Eldorado
No more

Driving like a fool out to Hackensack
Drinking his dinner from a paper sack
He says I gotta see a joker
And I'll be right back

Daddy don't live in that New York City
No more
He can't get tight every night
Pass out on the barroom floor
Daddy can't get no fine cigar
But we know you're smoking
Wherever you are
Daddy don't live in that New York City
No more

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

mixedmedia

Bombs Away - The Police
(Stewart Copeland)

The general scratches his belly and thinks
His pay is good but his officers stink
Guerilla girl, hard and sweet
A military man would love to meet

The President looks in the mirror and speaks
His shirts are clean but his country reeks
Unpaid bills, Afghanistan hills

Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay

The general only wants to teach France to dance
His army life doesn't give him any romance
Guerilla girl, hard and sweet
A military man would love to meet

The general scratches his belly and thinks
His pay is good but his company stinks
Guerilla girl, hard and sweet
A military man would love to meet

Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay
Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay
Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay
Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

mixedmedia

Wiggle, Wiggle - Bob Dylan

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a gypsy queen,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle all dressed in green,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle 'til the moon is blue,
Wiggle 'til the moon sees you.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle in your boots and shoes,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, you got nothing to lose,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, like a swarm of bees,
Wiggle on your hands and knees.

Bridge #1:
Wiggle to the front, wiggle to the rear,
Wiggle 'til you wiggle right out of here,
Wiggle 'til it opens, wiggle 'til it shuts,
Wiggle 'til it bites, wiggle 'til it cuts.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead,
Wiggle - you can raise the dead.

Bridge #2:
Wiggle 'til you're high, wiggle 'til you're higher,
Wiggle 'til you vomit fire,
Wiggle 'til it whispers, wiggle 'til it hums,
Wiggle 'til it answers, wiggle 'til it comes.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like satin and silk,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a pail of milk,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, rattle and shake,
Wiggle like a big fat snake.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

uncle phil

Wooly Bully
Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs


Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro
Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw.
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw.
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.

Hatty told Matty, "Let's don't take no chance.
Let's not be L-seven, come and learn to dance."
Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.

Matty told Hatty, "That's the thing to do.
Get you someone really to pull the wool with you."
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

mixedmedia

I do understand the difference between funny and silly, but this song makes me laugh...and I don't know a lot of silly songs.

Gaucho - Steely Dan

Just when I say
Boy we can't miss
You are golden
Then you do this
You say this guy is so cool
Snapping his fingers like a fool
One more expensive kiss-off
Who do you think I am
Lord I know you're a special friend
But you don't seem to understand
We got heavy rollers
I think you should know
Try again tomorrow

Can't you see they're laughing at me
Get rid off him
I don't care what you do at home
Would you care to explain

Who is the gaucho amigo
Why is he standing
In your spangled leather poncho
And your elevator shoes
Bodacious cowboys
Such as your friend
Will never be welcome here
High in the custerdome

What I tell you
Back down the line
I'll scratch your back
You can scratch mine
No he cant sleep on the floor
What do you think I'm yelling for
I'll drop him near the freeway
Doesn't he have a home

Lord I know you're a special friend
But you refuse to understand
Youre a nasty schoolboy
With no place to go
Try again tomorrow

Don't tell me he'll wait in the car
Look at you
Holding hands with the man from rio
Would you care to explain

Who is the gaucho amigo
Why is he standing
In your spangled leather poncho
With the studs that match your eyes
Bodacious cowboys
Such as your friend
Will never be welcome here
High in the custerdome

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

uncle phil

Bombs Away
Bob Weir


Bombs away, well I guess I'm back in love again
Hey look out now, round and around we go
This'll bring me ruin, though I suppose it's pleasin
Well I've changed the eyes I gaze in, still she's just another girl
I need more than a trade-in, guess I'll have to change the world

Strike up the band, I believe I'll have this dance
You'll raise that glass again my friends
Oui, d'accord je suis charmant, mais elle est si facile, yeah
Well I've changed the tune I dance to in this gay ole social whirl
But if I get a chance to I might just change the world

And it's just the same old movie, been playin here for years
I could use a chance of scenery, but when I get there I'm still here

Comin soon, hey, another day in paradise
Au theatre presque tu
And they'll be showin it forever
So let them keep parading, give them all batons to twirl
For me the splendor's fading, I'll have to change the world

And it's still the same old movie, and I seen it all before
Hell, one more run through won't outdo me, but I would love to know what for
Yeah what for
I would love to know what for
I would love to know what for

Bombs away, I guess I'm back in love again
Hey look out now round and around we go
Bombs away, I guess I'm back in love again
Oooh, back in love again
Look out I'm back in love again, in love again
In love again
Look out I'm back in love again, in love again...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

mixedmedia

Ballad of a Thin Man - Bob Dylan

You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel
To be such a freak?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations

You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason?"
And he says, "How?"
And you say, "What does this mean?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


.................................................


Old King - Neil Young

King went a-runnin' after deer
Wasn't scared of jumpin'
off the truck in high gear
King went a-sniffin'
and he would go
Was the best old hound dog
I ever did know.

I had a dog and his name was King
I told the dog about everything
There in my truck the dog and I
Then one day the King up and died.

Then I thought about
the times we had
Once when I kicked him
when he was bad
Old King sure meant a lot to me
But that hound dog is history.

King went a-runnin' after deer
Wasn't scared of jumpin'
off the truck in high gear
King went a-sniffin'
and he would go
Was the best old hound dog
I ever did know.

That old King was a friend of mine
Never knew a dog
that was half as fine
I may find one, you never do know
'Cause I still got a long way to go.

I had a dog and his name was King
I told the dog about everything
Old King sure meant a lot to me
But that hound dog is history.

King went a-howlin' after deer
Wasn't scared of jumpin'
off the truck in high gear
King went a-sniffin'
and he would go
Was the best old hound dog
I ever did know.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Ourcrazymodern?

Well, there ain't no hair on a bullfrog's ass,
that's why it is so shiny!

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

uncle phil

nor can we roller-skate in a buffalo herd...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

mixedmedia

Now that's a silly song.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Ourcrazymodern?

Kumbayah, my lord, kumbayah,
oh lord, kumbayah!

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Ourcrazymodern?

Is that not a silly song?

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

uncle phil

Walk Like A Camel
Southern Culture On The Skids


Baby, Would you eat that there snack cracker
In your special outfit for me, please?
owwwWEEEEE!!!!!

Yo ye pharoahs, let us walk
Through this barren desert, in search of truth
And some pointy boots, and maybe a few snack crackers.
OWWWW WEEE baby, you make me wanna walk like a camel.
OWWWW WEEE, walk!

Who's in charge here, where's my Captain's wafers?
Don't go around hungry now, the way you eat that oatmeal pie,
Makes me just wanna die, baby, OWWWW
You make me wanna walk like a camel.
OWWWW WEEE, walk!

Say, you don't think there's any way I could get that quarter
From underneath your pointy boot, do ya?
All I want is just one more oatmeal pie.
OWWWW WEEE, Little Debbie, Little Debbie
I'm a comin on home, baby, 'cause you make me wanna walk
Like a camel, OWWWW WEEE

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tyrell

Internet Girl by Agent Felix

I met this girl today
Her screen name is Jen198
She seems really nice
I can tell by all the words she types

She lives real far away
Hope that we will meet one day
When she types to me
There's nowhere that I'd rather be
Than on the Internet
With some girl I've never met

[Chorus]
She's my Internet girl (she's my Internet girl)
She might really be a guy
She's my Internet girl (she's my Internet girl)
She might really be a guy

She sent me a picture
Who knows, maybe it's not really her
Says she's 5'5"
With blonde hair and green eyes
She's probably 6'3"
With sideburns or a goatee
Or maybe she's so fat
I'd die if on she me sat
How am I supposed to know
If she's a raging psycho?

[Chorus]
She's my Internet girl (she's my Internet girl)
She might really be a guy
She's my Internet girl (she's my Internet girl)
She might really be a guy

mixedmedia

Cemetary Polka - Tom Waits

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
Plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
Made a million during World War Two
But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates
And they'll never give a dime to you

Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is go to hell

Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
And there ain't no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill will never leave a will
And the tumor is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, shes Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg

Uncle Phil can't live without his pills
He has emphysema and he's almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
Hes a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

uncle phil

THE TEDDY BEAR's PICNIC

If you go out in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise.

For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

Picnic time for teddy bears,
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today.
Watch them, catch them unawares,
And see them picnic on their holiday.
See them gaily dance about.
They love to play and shout.
And never have any cares.
At six o'clock their mommies and daddies
Will take them home to bed
Because they're tired little teddy bears.

If you go out in the woods today,
You'd better not go alone.
It's lovely out in the woods today,
But safer to stay at home.

For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

CHORUS

Every teddy bear, that's been good
Is sure of a treat today
There's lots of wonderful things to eat
And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

CHORUS

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Ourcrazymodern?

To plough once in the winter sowing, and again in Lent, sowing with as many oxen as he shall have yoked in the plough...oh yes..he shall have yoked in the plough...
There's evidence, evidence, evidence of settlements with one long village street, farmsteads, hamlets, little towns.-the framework was complete
By the time...
...of the Norman Conquest...
...the rural framework was comeplete...

...if one ploughman wants an oxen and that oxen's lent,
then the villeins and the ploughman have got to have the lord's consent.

etc. Monty Python

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Anxst

Be Together Soon by Pat McCurdy

Well, I don't much but I can see
That I love you and you love me
We didn't plan this out - it was luck
And we don't make love, we just...
Circle 'round the bed wearing wicked smiles
With our clothes in every corner of the room
I hope that we can be together soon

Well, our hearts beat fast, the music's slow
We've got the hi-fi high
And the lights down low
You say, "come here daddy and kiss me quick"
I touch your hand and you touch my...
Heart like no else has ever touched before
And soon you're wearing nothing but perfume
I hope that we can be together soon

Because when you're not here, I feel lost
I got my doors wide open and my fingers crossed
When you're not here, I can't wait
I take a long hot bath and I master...
French and Italian and a little bit of Greek
I write a little poem about the moon
I hope that we can be together soon

A Wanton Trick by Thomas D'Urfy, as played by Craig of Farrington

A pleasant young maid
On an instrument played
Who knew neither note nor pick:
But she had a good will
To live by her skill:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

A youth in that art
Well-known in this part
(They called him Darbyshire Dick)
Came to her a suitor
And would be her tutor:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

He wooed her and taught her
Until he had brought her
To handle a crotchet and prick;
So sweet was his note
That up went her coat:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

The string of his viol
She put to the trial
(She had the full length of the stick.)
Her white-bellied lute
She set to his flute:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

But his viol string burst!
Her tutor she cursed
The music within her grew thick.
From October to June
She was quite out of tune:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

And then she repented
That e'er she'd consented
To study her notes or to pick:
'Cause learning so well
Made her belly to swell:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

All maids that make trial
Of a lute or a viol
Take heed how you handle the stick!
If you like not this order,
Come, try my recorder:
'Tis but A Wanton Trick!

__________________
Don't mind me. I'm just releasing the insanity pressure from my headvalves.

byesman

My speciality. Just found this thread...

Dearest Mr. Santa Claus
by Haywood Banks

Oh my Dearest Mr. Santa Claus
I am writing you because
There seems to be a problem with your staff
You may or may not be aware,
Or even worse you do not care --
At any rate, there is no cause to laugh
I gave it to my mother,
A specific list of toys to bring around
But when I woke up Christmas morn
It was an obvious clerical error that I found

If you look on page number twenty-two
Under the heading of “Rocket Packs”
There’s no way a personal jet-propulsion device
Could ever be confused with --
A BUNNY PUPPET??!!

Hello again, dear old Saint Nick
I really hate to be a stickler
But it’s clear from here that things must change
With software advances and the Internet
You really can’t delay in getting
Some elves that are more technically trained
I discussed this with my mother
Along with a list of toys to bring around
But when I woke up Christmas morn
It was a hideous clerical error that I found

If you look on page number twenty-nine
Under the heading of “Scuba Gear”
There’s no way a personal deep-water submarine
Could ever be confused with --
UNCLE WIGGLY??!!

Hi again, Saint Nicholas
I’m sorry that it’s come to this
But someone had to bring you up to speed
Perhaps your management skills are rusty
But you really have to trust me
You are just not meeting your customers’ needs
I was told by my mother
To let you know about this oversight
But I’ve been playing Uncle Wiggly with my bunny puppet
And I just haven’t had the time to write.

Hey Little Minivan
by The Austin Lounge Lizards

On Deadman's Curve I used to shut 'em down
I had the hottest muscle car in my hometown
I could burn rubber in all four gears
But I haven't done that in a million years

Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the grocery store

She's got an automatic tranny with overdrive
And the radio's tuned to Magic 95
She gets 30 miles on a gallon of gas
And I can schlep all the girls to gymnastics class
She's got her headlights on both night and day
She's the most practical value in the USA
She's got cruise control, ABS and EFI
I keep her Michelins at 32 PSI

Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the children's museum

On icy mornings when I'm feeling my age
I'm protected and warm in my steel cage
Her climate control really pumps out the heat
And her dual air bags just can't be beat
She's rated real high by Consumer Reports
And her two front seats have got lumbar support
I've got the good driver rate and comprehensive insurance
And she's loaded with electronic theft deterrents
Step away from the car, step away from the car
Step away from the car, step away from the car

We're a wild and rowdy bunch when you pass us by
Bobby's buggin' baby sister and makin' her cry
If I have to pull over someone's gonna pay
And it was fun, fun, fun, till Bobby took her teether away
(Fun, fun, fun, fun)

Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the pediatrician

Now the wife and I hardly ever date
'Cause our baby sitter has to be home by 8
We hurry through dinner and go out and park
With the fold-down seats we can nap till dark
I dream of Barracudas and souped-up 'Vettes
Crazy games of chicken and drag race bets
Then she wakes me up and says, "Honey, don't be sad
Our van's the classic Woody you never had"

Now if I ever get tired of my minivan
A red sports car will make me young again

Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the grocery store
What did you do with the last one I gave you?
Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the grocery store
Don't make me come back there
Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the grocery store
If Bobby jumped off a cliff, would you do that, too?
Hey, little minivan, we're goin' to the grocery store
Three kids, what were we thinking?

Go little Minnie Van Gogh
Little Minnie Van Gogh
Little Minnie Van Gogh

__________________
If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost,
forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl.

H.L. Mencken

uncle phil

oyh, i'm givin' you guys all of this shit...

Kate Smith's TV theme song

hehe...

A Asus4 A A7 E7 E7alt
All by my - self at twi - light,

A A9 A E Bm7-5 A E7
Watch - ing the day de - part;

A Asus4 A A7 E
And with the fa - ding twi - light,

F#m E7 F#m B7 E7
Hap - pi - ness fills my heart.


E6 E7 A AM7 A7 D Dm
When the moon comes o - ver the moun - tain

D9 Dm A A9 A E7 E7/6 E7 A
Ev' - ry beam brings a dream, dear, of you

E6 E7 A AM7 A7 D Dm
Once a - gain we stroll 'neath the moun - tain

D9 Dm A A9 A E7 E7/6 E7 A A9 A
Through that rose - cov - ered val - ley we knew


A7 D Cdim A6 A
Each day is grey and drear - y

A9 F#m Edim E7/6 E7
But the night is bright and cheer - y


E6 E7 A AM7 A7 D Dm
When the moon comes o - ver the moun - tain

D9 Dm A A9 A E7 E7/6 E7 A
I'm a - lone with my mem - 'ries of you.

play those chords...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

uncle phil

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
Kenny Chesney


Plowin' these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate lordy here she comes
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Open up the throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain't a foolin' me

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

We ride back and forth 'til we run out of light
Take it to the barn put it up for the night
Climb up in the loft sit and talk with the radio on
She said she's got a dream and I asked what it is
She wants a little farm and a yard full of kids
And one more teeny weeny ride before I take her home

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

Well she ain't into cars or pickup trucks
But if it runs like a Deere man her eyes light up

She thinks my tractor's
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me

She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

neddy65

Dear Penis by Rodney Carrington

Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore.
You used to watch me shave
Now all you do is stare at the floor
Oh dear penis I dont like you anymore.

It used to be you and me
some paper towel and a dirty magazine
that's all we needed to get by
now it seems things have changed
and I think you're to blame
Dear Penis, I don't like you anymore

he says

Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore
cause when you get to drinkin'
you put me places I've never been before
oh dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip
on our man to hand relationship
come to terms with truely how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever
Oh dear penis, I think I like you after all
Oh and Rodney when you're shaving
Shave my balls.

__________________
If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything?

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!

Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

Astrocloud

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft by The Carpenters
and looky here it is :

http://reading.new21.org/carpenters/asfs/occupants.asf

Ourcrazymodern?

It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Jetée

Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - Hunting Tigers Out In India

With big, hungry tigers table manners have no place
(Dear dear dear no, dear dear dear no, dear dear oh dear no)
After they have eaten you they never say their grace
(Dear dear dear no, dear dear dear no, dear dear oh dear no)

Hunting tigers can be ripping fun
Like three blind mice, see the hunters run

Hunting tigers out in India
Out in, out in, out in India (yuh)

You all know how beastly tigers are
Out in, out in, out in India

They bite
They scratch
They make an awful fuss
It's no use stroking them and saying "puss puss puss"
Oh
Hunting tigers out in India
Out in, out in, out in India (yuh)

(instrumental)


They bite
They scratch
They make an awful fuss
It's no use stroking them and saying "puss puss puss"
Oh
Hunting tigers out in India
Out in, out in, out in India (yuh)

Spoken: “I say, Joe (?), it’s jolly frightening out there.”
“Nonsense, dear boy, you should be like me.”
“But look at you! You’re shaking all over!”
“Shaking? You silly goose, I’m just doing the watusi, that’s all.”

Tigers don’t go out on rainy nights
They’ve no need to whet their appetites
Hunting tigers out in India
Out in, out in, out in India (yuh)

How many tigers can you find with forks and serviettes?
(Dear dear dear no, dear dear dear no, dear dear oh dear no)
Don’t care in what part of you they fix their fretwork sets
(Dear dear dear no, dear dear dear no, dear dear oh dear no)

Hunting tigers can be ripping fun
Like three blind mice, see the hunters run

Hunting tigers out in India
Out in, out in, out in India (yuh)
Hunting tigers out in India
Out in, out in, out in India (yuh!)

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

jewels

Bump of an oldie!

How about this classic?

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Leto

nice thread resurrection!

Just a clarification on a previous post - The Carpenters covered Klaatu's tune:

__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

jewels

Sometimes aging can be fun. This just popped into my head out of nowhere!

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Leto

had to resurrect this as this song reminded me of this thread:

__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

Tophat665

Tasty, but needs a dash more Zappa.

Frogs with Dirty Little Lips

Frogs with dirty little lips
Dirty little warts on their finger-tips
Dirty 'n green
Tiny 'n mean
Floppin' around
By the edge of the stream
La la la la! La la lala la la! (Repeated)

Frogs with dirty little eyes
Dirty little tongues all covered with flies
Dirty brown
Floppin' around
Puffed up 'n bloated
When the sun goes down
La la la la! La la lala la la! (Repeated)

Frogs with dirty little nose
Dirty little spots all over their clothes
Dirty legs
Dirty feet
Dirty little frogs is what you eat
La la la la! La la lala la la! (Repeated ad nauseam)

---------- Post added at 01:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:26 PM ----------

Really, you can't have too much Zappa in a silly song thread...

Be in my Video
Bum ba dumb ba bimbo
Bum bum ba bim biddi biddi biddi (3)

Whoa.... Wo ho o o o oh!
Wo ho o o o oh!
Wo ho o o o oh! AH!

Be in my video,
Darling, every night
I will rent a cage for you
And mi-j-i-nits dressed in white
(teeny-little-tiny-little...)

Twirl around in a lap dissolve
Pretend to sing the words
I’ll rent a gleaming limousine;
Release a flock of ber-herna-herna-herna
Herna-her-nerds

Why don't you wear a leather collar
And a dagger in your ear (Studly studly studly studly stud)
I will make you smell the glove
And try to look sincere, then we’ll

Dance the blues (Yes we'll dance the blues)
Let’s dance the blues (What a terrific idea!)
Let’s dance the blues (You'll love it, it's a way of life!)
Under the megawatt moonlight

Pretend to be Chinese (one-hung-low)
I’ll make you wear red shoes
There’s a cheesy atom bomb explosion
All the big groups use (oooooooooooo)

Atomic light (will shine)
Through an old (venetian blind)
Making patterens (on your face),
Then it cuts to outer space

With it’s billions & billions &
Billions & billions and

Whoa- o Be in my video (in my video)
Darling, every (Darling every) night
Everyone in cable-able-land
Will say you’re ’outa (say you’re ’outa-site’)

You can show your (Show your pretty leg) legs
While you’re getting in (to my red hot rod car), then
I will look repulsive
While I mangle my guitar

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee,
Moo-ahhhh

Tee-nu-nee----moo-ahhhh
Tee-nu-nee----moo-wah-wah-wah-ooo

After all the close up shots OF YOU!
In bondage leather,
We'll spray an alley with a Hose
And then we'll mine the harbor.

Dance the Blues Again!
Let's Dance the Blues Again!
Let's Dance the Blues Again!
In the middle of the Alley!

Let's dance your face!
Let's dance your Face!
Let's dance your Nose!
And then we'll dance your sinus.

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon- teedle deedle deee

MOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHH

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

or, if you prefer, the abbreviated version...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

Tequila? Makes her clothes fall off, it does...

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

jewels

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain