Amusing college stories...(Those damn professors) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

barenakedladies · 02-14-2006, 06:36 AM

According to the university rules, if a professor hadn't arrived to a class by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered canceled for the day and the students were free to leave — with no penalties for missing a class.

Mounted over the chalkboard of each classroom was a type of wall clock that jumped ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. These clocks were also not constructed in the most sophisticated manner. An enterprising student learned (it's always good to learn things at college) that if you hit the clock with a chalkboard eraser, the clock would jump ahead 1 minute.

So, in a class where the professor wasn't precisely punctual and his students considered him absent-minded, almost daily these students took target practice at the room's clock. A few well aimed erasers, and 15 minutes quickly passed on the clock, and the class dismissed itself.

When the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room on time, passed out the exams, and told class, "You have one hour to complete this test."

The professor collected the erasers from around the room, and gleefully began taking aim at the clock. Within 10 minutes he had successfully jumped the clock forward one hour. "Time's up!

in a related story....

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

"Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale."

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Charlatan · 02-14-2006, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barenakedladies

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Serves him right... you never know when you are going to need to defend yourself at an examination.

BigBen · 02-14-2006, 07:21 AM

Fantastic.

Loved it; Where can I find more?

In my History of Economics class, my prof was trying to prove a very good point (History does not change, especially in the academic sense). He produced 40 years worth of final examinations, dating back to the late 60's. He then showed us ones from the 30's, and the coup de grace:

An exam, entitled: The History of Political Economic Thought, 1916.

Note: Students going to fight the Huns need only answer questions 1 to 3. Students participating in War efforts at home must answer questions 1 to 5.
All other students must answer all questions.

Leto · 02-14-2006, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barenakedladies

According to the university rules, if a professor hadn't arrived to a class by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered canceled for the day and the students were free to leave — with no penalties for missing a class.

.

rant: This has always stuck in my craw. There I was, an adult, PAYING my way, and being treated like a high school kid. WHEREAS the prof was often a prima dona who was cavalier with his audience.

In my mind, I was free to attend/leave at anypoint in the lecture, as long as I did not unfairly disrupt the class.

It was my responsibility to understand the material and pass the courses.

/end rant

BigBen · 02-15-2006, 02:50 PM

Not one of my profs ever took attendance. Ever.

We were treated just how we were: Adults, capable of making out own decisions.

maleficent · 02-15-2006, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leto

In my mind, I was free to attend/leave at anypoint in the lecture, as long as I did not unfairly disrupt the class.

It was my responsibility to understand the material and pass the courses.

exactly... syllabus was passed out in the beginning of the term... was on you to do what you needed to... show up for exams... turn in the papers... professor didn't remind you -- you were treated as an adult - if you wanted to miss class- that was up to you..

SirLance · 02-15-2006, 03:02 PM

In my freshman year, our economics professor proudly announced that half of us would fail the class.

Being a smartass, I raised my hand, when I was recognised, I asked, "Do you mean to say, sir, that you are such a poor teacher that you are unable to communicate your subject to more than 50% of high school graduates?"

After the laughter died down, he sent me to administration...

...administration sent me back...

02-14-2006, 06:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
barenakedladies Crazy Location: anytown, USA	Amusing college stories...(Those damn professors) According to the university rules, if a professor hadn't arrived to a class by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered canceled for the day and the students were free to leave — with no penalties for missing a class. Mounted over the chalkboard of each classroom was a type of wall clock that jumped ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. These clocks were also not constructed in the most sophisticated manner. An enterprising student learned (it's always good to learn things at college) that if you hit the clock with a chalkboard eraser, the clock would jump ahead 1 minute. So, in a class where the professor wasn't precisely punctual and his students considered him absent-minded, almost daily these students took target practice at the room's clock. A few well aimed erasers, and 15 minutes quickly passed on the clock, and the class dismissed itself. When the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room on time, passed out the exams, and told class, "You have one hour to complete this test." The professor collected the erasers from around the room, and gleefully began taking aim at the clock. Within 10 minutes he had successfully jumped the clock forward one hour. "Time's up! in a related story.... Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: I beg your pardon? Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale. Proctor: Sorry, no. Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale. At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away. Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination. __________________ signature smignature

02-14-2006, 07:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Fantastic. Loved it; Where can I find more? In my History of Economics class, my prof was trying to prove a very good point (History does not change, especially in the academic sense). He produced 40 years worth of final examinations, dating back to the late 60's. He then showed us ones from the 30's, and the coup de grace: An exam, entitled: The History of Political Economic Thought, 1916. Note: Students going to fight the Huns need only answer questions 1 to 3. Students participating in War efforts at home must answer questions 1 to 5. All other students must answer all questions. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

02-15-2006, 02:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Not one of my profs ever took attendance. Ever. We were treated just how we were: Adults, capable of making out own decisions. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

02-15-2006, 03:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	In my freshman year, our economics professor proudly announced that half of us would fail the class. Being a smartass, I raised my hand, when I was recognised, I asked, "Do you mean to say, sir, that you are such a poor teacher that you are unable to communicate your subject to more than 50% of high school graduates?" After the laughter died down, he sent me to administration... ...administration sent me back... __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.