Vorson

Hello friends. I am going to make a Pizza first time at my home because my younger brother forcing me to do this but i can't make it because i don't know how to make it and no idea about cooking. So friends discuss with me the recipe of pizza here . I am waiting. Thanks

snowy

Pizza dough is a pretty basic straight dough method, with one bulk ferment and no proof. You can either make it yourself or buy dough at the grocery store (look in the cheese case or with the refrigerated biscuits, or you can use the Rhodes frozen bread dough).

To make it yourself:
1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast
1 1/3 cups warm (105-115 degrees) water

Put the yeast in the warm water and stir. Let it sit for 3-5 minutes. It should dissolve into the water with another stir after it sits.

Assuming you don't have a stand mixer, mix the water with:
3 1/2-3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon honey

When the mixture is thoroughly moistened and shaggy, let it sit for fifteen minutes, covered with a towel. After fifteen minutes, turn it out on to a flour surface, bring it together, and knead the dough for 10 minutes or so, until a bit of dough stretched out passes the windowpane test (if you don't know what that is, look it up).

Once the dough is well-kneaded and smooth, put it in a well-oiled bowl, cover with an oiled piece of plastic wrap, and then throw a towel over the whole thing. Let it rise in a warm place until it's doubled in volume. I'm not going to tell you how long it takes, because you really should wait until it's doubled in volume. This is why I use a Pyrex 8-cup measure as my bulk ferment container. If you want it to take a little longer and develop more flavor, throw it in the fridge.

Once it's doubled in volume, it's ready to be shaped into pizzas. This recipe makes 2 12-inch pizzas. It takes practice to shape a pizza, so don't worry if your first efforts aren't what you want them to be. Since I don't have a peel, I set my pizzas on a cookie sheet on top of parchment paper, so I can slide them into the oven. My roommate has a baking stone she lets me use. I heat my oven up to the max the stone will take (450 degrees) an hour before I will be baking the pizza. The stone goes on the top rack in the oven. This, for some reason, allows for the top and bottom to cook most evenly. Your oven may be different, and so I won't tell you how long to bake your pizza for. It might take less time than mine, it might take more.

Good luck.

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dlish

usually when i dont know how to cook something, ill hit up youtube and check out all the great recipes and different ways of making a meal before i attempt to make it.


ive done that for a lot of things i make now. everything from roast chicken to mash potatos to steaming rice. you'll be amazed at what you can actually do when you dont know what you're doing

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Strange Famous

No disrepect to the recipe already quoted... I havent read it properly and it might taste good, but Im going to now explain how to Masterchef this in the easiest way.

Dont bother making the pizza base, its hard work and wont taste any better... what you do is this:

For two people you want these ingredients

6 Pitta bread
1 piece garlic
1 small onion
6 triangles cheese spread (or like 150 ml)
a tube of tomato puree
3 mushrooms

First off fire up your grill and heat one side of the Pitta
While this is on, chop your onion, garlic and mushroom
Now turn the Pitta... give the other side LITERALLY 30 seconds under grill and then pull it out
Now mix on the tomato puree and cheese spread, mix it up nice (careful as the pittas will be hot)
Sprinkle on the onion, mushroom, garlic... do this in a very wristy manner to make you feel like a real Masterchef

***If you fancy something REALLY fancy or are cooking for a girl why not have a bit of ham on them as well?***

Now back on the grill with the whole lot until the cheese spread just starts to change colour and little black spots on it.

_

And there you have it, Mastechef Pizza for two.

Again, if youre on a date with a nice girl, have a bit salad on the side, as girls like this. Serve it with a glass of red wine and a cold tin of beer for yourself.

I am sure other people's suggested recipes also will be ok, but what I am recomending to you is the MINIMUM amount of work to chef yourself a really good, tasty, simple, home cooked meal.

Strongly recomend you try this. I have it at least once a fortnight and I love it!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

eribrav

I was puzzled by this too and somewhere in the last few weeks heard the answer: It's because the heat reflects off the top of the oven interior, so you get blazing heat both from the stone below and from above. Set the stone lower and the top is not getting as much heat.
And BTW if your oven will go to 500 degrees, go for it. Your stone will be fine.
If you have a BBQ grill even better. My best pizzas come off my grill and cook at just under 550 F.

LordEden

SF, Please stop using the term "chef" or "masterchef" when you post recipes. You are degrading that highly priced title when you suggest burning the cheese and using a bland tomato paste as a base for a pizza. It hurts my soul.

I can't even begin to explain how incorrect this statement is. It flies in the face of centuries of culinary training and research.

Pita bread does not equal real pizza dough.

*****

OP: If you don't want to bake (which if you have the time and skill, use snowy's recipe for pizza dough, it will be worth it) go with a higher end frozen pizza dough. They are already formed and ready for toppings.

Some people like a chunky sauce for pizza, some like a thin sauce for pizza. You can either buy a pre-made sauce then doctor it up yourself or buy a good marinara sauce to use. The marinara sauce will be chunky and the pizza sauce will be thin. They are really the same thing, just one has been blended to be a thin sauce.

Cut your toppings thin and uniform. You want them to cook at the same rate and a heavy layer of toppings will weigh down the dough.

I'd really recommend making the dough, it's a handy skill to have and can be used for so many different recipes (calzones and breadsticks).

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snowy

It's not my stone. Thus, I do not exceed the manufacturer's maximum temperature.

And yeah, when I posted my response this morning, I was in a rush to get out the door to work, so didn't have time to go back and find the Pizza Lab post on pizza where I got the top rack thing, but here it is: The Pizza Lab: Which Rack Should I Put My Stone On? | Slice Pizza Blog

I read the whole thing weeks ago, started doing the pizza on the top rack (we eat homemade pizza like once every couple of weeks, I love making pizza dough), and I think it's been great. I should emphasize that it is REALLY NOT THAT HARD. In fact, I think StrangeFamous's method takes more work, especially if you have a stand mixer. It takes me maybe 5 minutes of active time to make pizza dough, and 15 minutes total to whip out two pizzas, including cheese-shredding time (did I mention the sweet KitchenAid? It shreds cheese too). Obviously, that doesn't include the ferment (rise) or the baking time.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Cynthetiq

really? you can't tell the difference between pita bread and a flat bread pizza dough?

I'd at least accept if you said something like Boboli Pizza Crust | Pizza Crusts | Ready Made Pizza Crust, but pita bread? Dude that's like beyond bachelor but downright laziness. Why not just order a pizza then, or even use white bread.

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Strange Famous

When I masterchef a meal, the point if to make something that:

1 - is easy
2 - is cheap
3 - will taste good
4 - is as healthy as it might be

What I would suggest to anyone is, by all means make your own pizza dough from scratch... take into account how warm your hands are when you nead the dough, have your yeast at 3.5 degrees above room temp, waist 30 minutes of your precious life punching a mixture over and over again.

Then make the meal the way I have chefed it. And I guarantee, as you take the first bite, and follow it up with a sip of cold beer... just enjoying the masterful mix of cheese, tomato, onion, garlic, mushroom: THEN you'll consider that you could instead still be punching and pulling apart the dough for your authentic middle class pizza. You'll know what cookings about at that moment.

Seriously... if you want to know the application of cooking mastery, make this meal of the shepherd's pie I laid out a recipe for previously.

The reason I describe my technique as that of a masterchef is the quality of the result, not how intricate or pained you can make the method. I have given consideration to the balanced mix of FIVE ingredients to give an ideal pizza. When I first invented this meal there was no mushroom and I wasnt 100% satisfied with it. Now I am.

The pitta bread, when toasted just right, is just the same as pizza dough insofar as is imeaningful (ie - as an adequate base for the part of the pizza that has flavour).

I would put my cooking skills against any man. Those who think cooking is some kind of high art / or an excercise of their artistic temperament must suit themselves. I serve food that tastes good.

To be honest I'd consider putting out a cookery book because I suspect I would outsell many "so called" chefs.

__

EDIT - and you know what really makes me laugh? Someone has an actual whole BLOG about pizza. They wrote an article aout which shelf of the oven to cook it on!!! It wouldnt surprise me if someone has written a whole BOOK just about cooking pizza. And I just step up... it took me three tries to perfect this meal, 10 minutes to write it up, its better than anything they've ever done in their lives most probably (in terms of the result when a normal man tries to follow both recipes)

And people question why I call myself a Masterchef?

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

dlish

i had a construction company back home, but i wasnt part of the Master Builders Association.

And guess what? i didnt have the right to call myself a Master builder. And rightly so.

you're not a chef, and you're definately not a masterchef. you're just using a new catchphrase everyone's using these days and tagging to your cooking.

You just make cheap, quick eats that you whip up in a few minutes. Nothing masterful about that.

But what u did was rubbish peoples careers. people who put effort, love money, and lots of time into their passion. I think its self righteous for you to come along and act like your 10 mins in the kitchen is better than their entire career.i refuse to take any of your post seriously because i honestly dont think you do either.

---------- Post added at 06:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:13 AM ----------

taken from this website Certified Master Chefs | Culinary Careers | Cooking Schools

please stop taking the piss out of the title

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LordEden

SF, I'm so glad you could bring your illegible and often mis-informed posts from tilted weaponry to tilted food. I liked watching the guys in tilted weaponry destroy you verbally while you floundered like a fish out of water, grasping at anything to prove your point.

Guess that means it's my turn. I'm not going to be as detailed as TK, but he's a lot smarter than me, but I'm going to give it my all. So, let's break this down.

"is easy/is cheap" Hate to break it to you, but a frozen pizza (or packaged) dough is going to be easier, cheaper and have a better flavor than frying pita bread on the grill. You're excuse for pizza sauce is completely bland and acually is more complicated than buying a pizza sauce pre-made. See SF, there are these things called spices and you put them on food to make it taste better. Since your recipes doesn't call for any salt, pepper, or any Italian herbs that could be used to make a tomato paste/puree taste like pizza sauce, I assume you don't use them. Any "masterchef" "chefing it up" (wtf is chefing? I must have missed that term) would have listed spices in his cookbook quality recipes if he was using them.

"As healthy as it might be"? What does that even mean? Are you saying all of your "masterchef" (I think I just gagged a bit having to type that) recipes are healthy? Using cheese spread? Frying your pita bread instead of baking it? You have massive holes in your theory of healthy food.

I guarantee that if I had to eat your lazy excuse for pizza, I would need beer to wash it down.

Have you ever made bread or pizza dough from scratch? I know you have had to "masterchef" some kind of bread like food in your life. It takes about 5 minutes from mixing to kneading the dough to make a ball for a large pizza. Punching down takes less than 5 minutes. Not 30 minutes "of your precious life" as you previously stated.


So, you are saying that we make our meals to complicated and therefor taste like crap? While your recipes that don't even use salt or any spice is going to have more flavor? That's not how it works. I'm not sure where you got your training for being a "masterchef", but I think you need your money back.

You want to talk minimalistic cooking? Stone Soup Blog. Minimal use of ingredients and full of flavor. She knows how use the best ingredients to get the maximum amount of flavor out of every ingredient.

Pita PITA! I'm trying my best to bite my tongue when it comes to your spelling and grammar, but it's a frinkin' 4 letter word, spell it right!

Pita bread does NOT equal pizza dough. I've made pizza on pita bread before and it doesn't taste the same. It's too chewy and doesn't hold up to folding or the "one hand hold" which is essential for proper pizza handling.

Done, so help me god I have two reasons to donate to the "Fly SF to USA to prove him wrong about everything that comes out of his mouth" fund. I'll pitch in the money so I can watch you mishandle a firearm in front of trained professionals AND out cook you with one arm tied behind my back.

Everyone that has read your recipes, questions why you call yourself a masterchef and I'd love for you to put your recipe up against anyone who has made pizza for a living. Do you even know what pizza tastes like? I'm not talking a pizza out of a freezer (I can bet it tastes better than your recipe) but a hand tossed pizza made by someone who actually knows how to cook? I wonder sometimes if you have ever tasted a real home cooked meal or are you the guy trying to decide the ocean without ever having your feet in the sand.

Now SF, I'm willing to compromise here. You have every right to post your recipes in Tfood. Just do the readers a favor (that's don't know how you like to troll various parts of this board) and say, "My name is SF and I am not in any form a chef. If you want the lazy way out of cooking, please use this recipe I'm about to post." That way no one actually tries to make your recipe and will save themselves time and effort.

Then again, you most likely are coming to come back with a response on how I have no experence cooking, I'm flaming you by saying you are a troll, whine about it and still claim to be a "masterchef".

*****

Everything dlish said. QFFT.

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Baraka_Guru

For the record, I've used both frozen prepared dough and Greek-style (pocketless) pitas to make pizza. I like both for different reasons.

The dough is the best way to make a pizza, but it's a bit more involved. I prefer to make full-sized pizzas on a stone in the oven.

On the other hand, the "pita pizzas" are great for quickly whipping up a toaster-oven meal for one. Keeping a bag of pitas in the freezer, grabbing one at a time is convenient. I like how crispy they get too. However, I use actual pizza sauce.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

LordEden

BG, it's not about using pita bread to make a pizza. I've done it before and it's a nice easy snack. It is about SF saying how is the greatest chef known to mankind because he makes pita bread pizza. How that pizza is better than anything else because HE made it.

If SF would have posted his recipe as a quick and easy recipe to make, that would have been fine. Instead he goes on about how he is a masterchef and how everyone else in the world is not as good as a chef as he is.

That irks me more than anything else in the world. I know chefs, I know people who live for food and I know people with palettes beyond anything I could dream of. SF pisses on them when he pulls out this BS.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Baraka_Guru

Also for the record: If a restaurant ever serves me a pita pizza, I'm burning the motherfucking place down.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Craven Morehead

Seriously, this makes a very good crust



We prebake it for a while before adding the sauce, toppings and cheese otherwise it can be a little underbaked.

Willravel

To me, the more simple the pizza, the better.

The sauce should be canned (quality) tomatoes, basil, garlic, quality olive oil and that's it. 6-8 tbs. olive oil in a pan, on medium high heat, then 4 cloves of garlic, finely sliced, a big handful of sliced, fresh basil and 3 cans of whole plum tomatoes. Chop up the tomatoes a bit with a wooden spoon and add kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. After a few minutes, it should be ready, so pour it through a coarse strainer into a bowl, pushing quite a bit to get all the fun stuff. Pour the sauce back into the pan and let it lightly simmer for maybe 5-7 minutes.

For the dough, you want about 3 1/2 cups of bread flour, a cup of semolina flour, about a tbs. of fine sea salt, 2 packs of dried yeast, a tbs. of caster sugar, 4 tbs. of olive oil, and about 2 and a quarter cups of filtered, luke-warm water. Form the flour into a sort of crater on your block and pour in the water and olive oil, along with the salt and yeast, mixing it into the flour slowly moving from the inside out. I like to use a spork for this. When the dough becomes more dough, like kneed it just to the point where it's pliable, elastic, and no longer flaky. Put this into a bowl (with a bit of flour if necessary) under a warm, damp cloth for about an hour.

When the dough's ready, put your stone in the oven at it's top setting and get it hot as fuck. Flatten out the dough in whatever you you'd like, I use a roller, until it's about right, then spread some sauce on it. Toppings can be almost anything, really. You can add some mozzarella and pancetta, for example.

Pull the stone out of your oven and put it on a rack, then drop your pizza on the stone. Put the stone back in the oven until you see browning around the outside.

snowy

For someone looking for simple, will, adding semolina flour or bread flour isn't simple. All-purpose is what most people have in their cupboards. Semolina is a specialty flour. Personally, I'm not willing to spend $8 on a bag of it just to make pizza when APF or bread flour work just fine. I happen to have bread flour because I bake a lot of bread, but I wouldn't expect the average person to have bread flour.

And SF, you don't "punch down" pizza dough. Once it's risen during the bulk ferment, that's it, it's ready to be shaped. Secondly, you don't "punch down" dough, period. You fold dough to distribute air bubbles throughout the dough. Punching a dough would deflate it too much, and you wouldn't get as good of a rise during the final rise.

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Willravel

By simple, I suppose I was more talking about the sauce. Still, the recipe itself, assuming you have the ingredients, is fairly straightforward. I've made crust with different types of flour, and my favorite was Jamie Oliver's recipe, which was with bread and semolina flours.

dlish

duh! snowy. you know better than to mess with a Masterchef. can't believe you think your mere mortal skillz for making pizza could even match that of a two minute wonder Pitta-Pizza made by a MasterChef (TM).

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Charlatan

Wow. Just... wow.

Between Eden and Snowy, I think everything I might have said here has been covered.

The one key thing about making pizza a home is heat, and lots of it. Crank your oven as high as it will go, put your rack (preferably with a pizza stone or the right sort of unglazed tile) on the top rack.

Homemade dough is not that tough to make but if you don't feel you have the time consider visiting your local pizza place to see if they will sell you raw dough. Many do. If not, frozen dough is good too. In a pinch you can use pita as a base (it will not be a pizza though, it will just be toppings on a pita).

I am not sure how anyone could truly defend a pita "pizza" as better than the real thing. It's an okay substitute but only just. To suggest otherwise leads me to think the person suggesting it has something wrong with their taste buds.

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Strange Famous

Masterchef has a different and particular meaning to anyone from the UK. Its the name of a popular cookery show. The general point is the same though, it refers to an excellent cook. Which I am.

I am very happy to take on all of these people who "live food" who call themselves "chef" when they are just a cook, who consider chopping and exposing to heat foodstuffs some kind of art.

Let me first of all inform you that:

1 - fine dining is a joke that clever marketeers play on people with more money than brains... middle class poseurs who pay through the nose to eat over priced, over complicated, unfulfilling meals.

A REAL Masterchef can tell you that honest, simple, fresh, lovingly prepared food is more enjoyable to someone with a real pallete than a plate with three microchips and half a tuna steak and a fennel "foam" that you pay some maniac who shouts at people to pretend he is Gordon Ramsey $50 to make you.

Food is about three things, delivered in three ways

1 - Comfort
2 - Nourishment
3 - Pleasure/Taste

The goal of a REAL masterchef is to prepare this in a way that is

1 - Cheap
2 - Quick
3 - Simple

This pizza I have designed is delicious. I have eaten it myself, maybe 5 times this year. Everytime, really really good. Why would I want to hand toss pizza dough for myself? I wore a jumper to work today, I didnt go out and sheer the sheep myself. What I am presenting is real food for real people thats really good. I can put up 20 recipes that are all top quality, just like that. I could do it tomorrow if I felt like it.

And you know what?

Everyone could be made by a normal person with no cooking experience.
Everyone would taste good.
Everyone would be better than some Michelin restaurant where they dont give you youre dinner, they give you a "dining experience"

I dont speak for or represent those who eat at Michelin restaurants and treat good honest food as contemptable.

I dont speak for those who look down and sneer at ordinary working class men and women that go out and do a day's work and then just want to have a simple filling meal when they get home.

I dont speak for those who treat call a man who pays over his hard earned cash for a burger at a restaurant and then DARES to ask for some tomato sauce as if he is some kind of revolting philistine.

Lord Eden, if this is the constituancy you wish to represent, you are welcome to each other.

I represent the working mum who gets home at six and wants to give her kids a decent meal, even if she doesnt own 7 types of vinegar and bake her own bread in a tin kettle.

I represent the man who expects to be given some tomato sauce with his meal if he asks.

I masterchef the meals that these people want.

_

Anyone who thinks that my arguments have been knocked down in the weapons thread must have a warped view of life. I dont choose to engage in personal battles, I simply make statements of fact and common sense. Almost every one of these long drawn out arguments just showed me again and again proving my view as correct and common sense.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

LordEden

Jesus, are you trying to get a symphony vote or something? This sounds like a political speech more than a post about pizza.

This show you talk of, is it this show? If so... I don't see how a game show with a cooking time limit has anything to do with being a masterchef unless you were on this show and won it. You may be a excellent cook, but from the recipes you have posted a long with your lack of cooking knowledge (terms [ie. cookery, pitta, basically mis-spelling every cooking term you use], techniques, and ingredients) I'm going to go with; no, you are not a good cook.

1. Do you know what it takes to become a chef or even consider yourself a excellent cook? I'm guessing your food knowledge comes from random cooking shows and maybe a recipe on the internet. Some of the posters in this sub-forum are chefs and have earned that title through schooling, hard work and determination (I am not considering myself a chef, I never earned the right to call myself that). World's King has had that title at a resturant before and I would consider him a chef (along with his peers). I've spent 8 years in a kitchen, cooking more meals than you will cook in a lifetime and I do not consider myself a chef. It takes a level of mastery and techniques that I will never attain in my lifetime. This is why the title of chef is such an honor and I spit upon those use it with a careless fashion.

2. Cooking is an art form, just as woodworking, painting, and writing is an art form. It takes years of training and a natural skill to be able to cook at the level of a chef. You are stumbling into a master artisan's woodworking shop, building a unstable bookshelf out of 2x4s and then telling him that he will never make anything as beautiful as that bookshelf. It just makes you look the fool.

Every once in a while, you make a statement I can allllllllmost agree with. A lot of fine dining resturants are full of crappy food and over priced wines. There are some restaurants that serve food that is considered the best food in the world, not because of any foo-faa, but because it is hands down some of the best food made by the best chefs in the world. Restaurants like Thomas Keller's French laundry in NYC, Marco Pierre White's The Yew Tree Inn (near Highclere in North Hampshire) and Mario Batali's Babbo in NYC. I could go on forever. Those restaurants are worth every penny you spend there, because those chefs are producing some of the best food in the world.

On a side note, Marco Pierre White is now the driving force behind "simplication in food" and is always looking out for what he calls, "The perfect english meal".

Not all good restaurants serve the TV idea of fine dinning. I'm pretty sure you have never had gourmet food and are basing everything in this thread on what you have seen on the telly.

I've already stated that you can make a pizza cheaper and in a simpler fashion in my last post. I'm not sure how much pita bread costs in the UK, but buying frozen pizza dough is cheaper than buying pita bread. Then again logic doesn't come into play when you argue.

Also, NO ONE wants to be Gordon Ramsey, he's a bloody wanker.

I'm not sure what you consider "top quality", but using pita bread to make a pizza is not "top quality". It's cheap and lazy. If that's what you are going for, fine, just don't lump it in with real quality ingredients.

BTW, canned tomato puree isn't considered a top quality ingredient by anyone. Ever.

Also, do it. 20 recipes. I want you to put 20 recipes (of your own, no cheating) up here (really, in another thread, we have threadjacked this thread enough) and I'll put 20 of my recipes up there and we will have a popular vote. Let the "real people" of TFP decide who has better recipes. You game? I'm itching to see what 20 recipes you could come up with. I'm dead fucking serious, let's do this.

Driving past the horrible grammar you have used, I'm guessing you mean "Everything", unless you are talking about people "tasting good".

Have you ever eaten at a resturant that had a michelin star? If so, why don't you list them for us. I'd like to know where you are getting these facts from.

I've ate at a lot of burger joints and never had someone give me lip at using ketchup. Why don't you tell us what restaurant you ordered this burger at?

I want a simple, filling meal when I get home too. You act like you are the only person in the world who wants some comfort food at the end of the day. None of the regular posters in this sub-forum ever "look down" upon people for posting comfort food recipes, we eat them just like anyone else.

Rabble rousing now are we?

I have never said I stand for... whatever you are trying to describe. I love comfort food and southern cooking, one of the easier cooking subsets in the food world. I was trained by good blue collar chefs who just wanted to make good food for a fair price. You act like we have our noses in the air because we make our own pizza dough. What section of your ass did you pull that out of? We like making pizza dough ourselves because we love to cook and it fucking tastes better.

You accually are cooking bachelor food and that's fine. Again, if you would have posted "a cheap and simple recipe" for pizza, that would have been fine. You didn't you pissed all over everyone else in the thread by stating you are better than everyone else and calling yourself a chef. I've cooked your "pizza" before and it was not the best pizza I've ever had. Not by a long shot.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha... ok ok I can respond to this... *pfff* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. Oh god, oh god I can't breathe.

SF, I take back everything I said about you. Trolling in two sub-forums at the same time in one post? That takes a trolling skillset that is unheard these days. Good show, ol' chap.

*****

To be honest SF, you are going to win this argument. You know why? Because you never give up. You maybe stumbling around in the woods lost as any man could be, but still telling everyone you know the way. You fly into a thread and drop the biggest bomb you can think of and stand in the blast radus telling everyone you are right. I'd almost respect that if you were not talking out your ass the entire time.

I know I'm falling directly into your trap and I admit it, I took your bait. I'm here, arguing with the person no one on this board wants to argue with (except slims and plan9, but those motherfuckers are crazy). I shouldn't even be posting this, but you are defiling the one thing I love doing the most in this world. You don't even really care about this argument, you are just glad you got a rise out of me by insulting the industry I love the most. You are a master of something SF, getting a reaction out of the people on this website seems to be your forte.

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dlish

so your definition of masterchef is someone who makes food in the quickest time but taste the best. that's not masterchef is it? that's called time management. It's also called spending more time with your family/friends etc. but thats definately not master-cheffing.

you can really call anything you want. i personally like to call myself the Head Dean of Harvard University. I did a 4 year degree in Construction Management a decade ago, but who's going to stop me from thinking im better educated than all those snobby intellectuals sitting in their ralf Lauren blazers and cardigans sipping coffee talking political science with massive words i dont understand..fuck 'em..im from the streets and i represent the working class. i am the people and the people want me. I can do that job with my eyes closed. those old pensioners dont work half the time anyways. My time in the real world makes me a better candidate to run the joint than anyone else i know.And to all those fuckers out there that dont agree with me...fuck you! you're just stupid or wrong [or both] for thinking otherwise.

which fishbowl do you live in?


SF, you continually push bullshit. fortunately most people dont believe themselves when they bullshit. That may or may not be the case with you.


like your CAPS are supposed to give your words credence. pfft!

if that's what your definition of food, Maggic makes 2 minute noodles. youc an get seafood flavour, chicken flavour, even vegetable flavour. its simple, quick and cheap. it gives me comfort, nourishment and pleasure. its a means to an end and it does the job, and i can throw my own ingredients inthere if i want, but by no means does it become a masterchef meal because it meets that criterion.


i'll Masterchef Maggi tonight i think.

you dont call yourself a shearer if you cant shear a sheep. You cant call youself a Masterchef Pizza Supremo if you cant make pizza dough. that.is.all.


The rest of your post is comical bordering on delusional.

__________________
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CinnamonGirl

Hey Vorson--- I apologize for the way this thread has derailed so ridiculously. Tell your brother I'll BUY him a damn pizza.

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"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

monkeysugar

OP, you can make a simple pizza dough in next to no time. It's cheap, decent tasting, and very, very easy to make. As in, turn on the oven, mix the ingredients, let it sit until the oven is up to temperature. If that isn't an option, pick up some pizza shells and go to town. Or for an even simpler option, make mini pizzas with bagels.

__________________
I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

Baraka_Guru

Strange, I'm going to respond to you in terms perhaps you can understand.

What you have said in this thread about the culinary arts is ridiculous. It would be as ridiculous as my suggesting that professional sports is a farce. The suggestion that a bunch of quasi-educated man-children are paid an obscene amount of money to run around a green chasing a ball tells me one thing: they've somehow turned recess from their school days into a lucrative full-time career.

And that there are so many sports fanatics willing to throw away their hard-earned money to watch (or "support," as they might say—as though the support is cultural or spiritual as opposed to emotional and financial) is beyond me. And it would seem to me that it's no surprise that most of these fanatics are men. Though there is great appeal in sitting around on a nice afternoon, eating hotdogs and drinking beer and hollering like a buffoon, I'm sure that deep down inside it's all about living vicariously through those who found a way to get rich while living in the land of perpetual recess. It's a fantasy. "Professional sports" is nothing more than getting paid to play a game—a game that anybody in reasonable health could play adequately. What a farce, indeed.

To those in the know, it's bread & circuses. And getting back to bread: Strange, my ultimate point is that you have done the OP a disservice by discouraging exploring the world of food. The suggestion that making convenience food is somehow the only realistic, practical, satisfactory option is a poor suggestion for living. Some of my favourite experiences in life included being curious and courageous enough to attempt to cook something I've never cooked before—something different, something challenging; something good.

No, Strange, I would not take your advice, nor would I give it.

To the OP: you should find a good blog, website, or book that has recipes for making pizza from scratch, and, if you're so inclined, experiment. Pizza isn't a difficult food to make, though I must say it does take a bit of love and effort.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

ZombieSquirrel

I'll chip in. Maybe get some breadsticks too.

__________________
Attack ZombieSquirrels

Leto

pita bread as a base for pizza is a poor student method of a quick and dirty meal. The bread is nothing like that of pizza dough. It is too dense and too dry. Even more so than thin crust pizzas.

There is a basic difference. Just like bruschetta and pizza are different.

__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

robot_parade

Wow.

Anyway, here's what I do. I start with a fairly wet dough - specifically, I start with the pain a l'ancienne recipe from The Bread Baker's Apprentice. I let that bad boy ferment in the fridge overnight. The next day, an hour or two before pizza time, I take it out of the fridge, divide it into pizza-sized chunks, roll it into balls, then squish it flat into disks. Incidentally, all of this is with plenty of flour, remember, this is a pretty wet dough. After a 5 minute wait to relax, I toss it out into disks, with more flour, put some cornmeal on one side, and flip that side down.

The other side gets a dollop of tomato sauce, cheese, etc. I also make the sauce from scratch. I've tried making mozzarella from scratch a couple of times, but Fail.

I've gone through about 4 or 5 pizza stones...they always end up breaking. So I've switched to a pizza screen, available from restaurant supply stores for about $5. That goes on the bottom rack of the oven, or on the grill if I'm feeling up to it. Oven has been preheating at 550F. Pizza goes on the rack. I leave the oven door slightly ajar for about 5-7 minutes, close it for another 1-2 minutes, then out it comes. Works out pretty good.

Cynthetiq

Oh he's being ironic.

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Strange Famous

The most likely thing is:

1 Vorson has tried my recipe, likes it
2 Now feels like he cant post that because he has seen so much overblown arguments... and the guy doesnt want a debate, he just wants a pizza.

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Cynthetiq

or he died from eating a crappy "pizza".

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

LordEden

or he never logs on again after making 4 posts. You know he hasn't even read this thread right? It was a dead thread to begin with, he could care less about your super-ultra-masterchef recipe.

*****

Awwww SF, when I saw you posted, I was hoping for more half-baked political speeches I could dissect and rip apart.

How about those 20 recipes? The glove has been thrown, I want a TFP mega-super-ultra-masterchef chef off.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Baraka_Guru

Prolly just grabbed some Pizza Pockets.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Strange Famous

If he never logs on again, it is likely to be out of respect to me?

He has seen me: like a great collosus, absorbing the battering scorn of the Cookery Elite, and yet standing tall, proud, unrelenting... as much damaged or set aside as the Empire State Building is by a rainstorm. This noble and heroic image has maybe caused him to go instead to a community where the best and greatest are not shot down?

I picture it:

*A single voice starts to singing the chorus from "two little boys" by Rolf Harris... the crowd of elitist Michelin Food guide readers circling around, baying for my blood... the rain driving around.... a single spatula in my cleched fist thrust unwaveringly towards the sky my head bowed... slowly the great Strange Famous raises his eyes to the camera, the music becomes more dramatic... a look of unreadable masculinity fixed on my rugged, fully bearded face....*

Lord Eden,all issues of how to make a pizza have been settled!

It is time to face the consequence of your challenge that you can out chef me!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Baraka_Guru

This thread should continue being about making pizza.


As for all that other stuff, the gloves are off. Please go here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...challenge.html

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

bagatelle

Making pizza dough is very easy from basic ingredients. It's usually the task, hubby likes to do - he works as a car mechanic and it's a neat way to get his hands a little cleaner as well.

__________________

dlish

bagatelle...

so what you're saying is that your husband cleanses his hands in your pizza dough, and you get to eat it?

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

LordEden

This is the recipe I use for homemade pizza dough:

Smitten Kitchen

Really Simple Pizza Dough

Makes enough for one small, thin crust pizza. Double it if you like your pizza thick and bready.

1 1/2 cups flour (can replace up to half of this with whole wheat flour)
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
1/2 cup lukewarm water (may need up to 1 or 2 tablespoons more)
1 tablespoon olive oil

Stir dry ingredients, including yeast, in a large bowl. Add water and olive oil, stirring mixture into as close to a ball as you can. Dump all clumps and floury bits onto a lightly floured surface and knead everything into a homogeneous ball.

If you are finding this step difficult, one of the best tricks I picked up from my bread-making class is to simply pause. Leave the dough in a lightly-floured spot, put the empty bowl upside-down on top of it and come back in 2 to 5 minutes, at which point you will find the dough a lot more lovable.

Knead it for just a minute or two. Lightly oil the bowl (a spritz of cooking spray perfectly does the trick) where you had mixed it — one-bowl recipe! — dump the dough in, turn it over so all sides are coated, cover it in plastic wrap and leave it undisturbed for an hour or two, until it has doubled in size.

Dump it back on the floured counter (yup, I leave mine messy), and gently press the air out of the dough with the palm of your hands. Fold the piece into an approximate ball shape, and let it sit under that plastic wrap for 20 more minutes.

Sprinkle a pizza stone or baking sheet with cornmeal and preheat your oven to its top temperature. Roll out the pizza, toss on whatever topping and seasonings you like. (I always err on the side of skimpy with toppings so to not weight down the dough too much, or if I have multiple toppings, to keep them very thinly sliced.)

Bake it for about 10 minutes until it’s lightly blistered and impossible to resist.

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Baraka_Guru

I think I'll try that myself, Eden. I worked for a pizza place for a year. I quickly became the designated "dough boy" because of how beautifully my batches turned out. I put a combination of precision and TLC into my dough. I look forward to making it again, though I don't think it will be 20 lbs. at a time anymore.

[I subsequently became known as "pasta boy" in my next job as a prep cook. This is because of my penchant for whipping up a hellstorm's worth of pasta to ensure that we never ran out, all the while abiding by the kitchen's shelf life limitations.]

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot