Well my number one pick is also Carrot Top, he's just atrocious.

D.L. Hughley blows pretty much.

Other than that, I respect and like most stand up comics, those that are famous anyway.

I don't like the female comedians however.

Does Tom Green count. Someone needs to shoot him.

I gotta disagree with the Robin Williams vote, his stand up is great. I will add a vote for Seinfeld however, his work has rarely made me laugh.

Btw, I love his comedy and think hes great, but I sure figured someone wouldve added Ron White by now.

I feel the same way.

PowerClown
 

:eek:
PowerClown, are you HIGH?!? Steven Wright is hilarious!! His dry sense of humor is one of the best and he has perfected it over the years! I know I'm not alone in this opinion.

Who is it, exactly, that you find funny??

George Carlin can be pretty funny, albeit, he (like Denis Leary) is at his best in single/short doses...and "that dude who smashes watermelons" (Gallagher) has a pretty amusing stand-up, however, he is a bit dated now as he doesn't do as many shows and the "smashing" trademark of his, I believe, is retired, for the most part.

Perhaps they are before (or after) your time?? Open your mind because I think you're missing out on some awesome comedy!

Dennis Miller atm. One can only stand his rants about towelheads for so long.

Brilliant? What makes it Brilliant? I've never been a huge Seinfeld fan, i disliked the show and his whole schtick is pretty lame to me

I also don't get Bernie Mac, I watched a special of his, didn't get it.

I'm going to agree with the George Carlin being overrated. He had a great run, then fizzled. I've seen two of his live shows in the last decade, and neither had more than one or two bits that weren't on a set of cd's I've got recorded in the 70's.

I couldn't have said it better. I fucking hate that man's stand up with a passion.

I can't believe no one has said Jay Leno. I think it's due to the fact that he's so consistently un-funny that people don't consider him a comedian. He has the WORST monologues of any of the late or even LATE LATE talk show hosts.

Will someone tell me why this idiot Carson Daly is still on the air? He is the last person that should be doing a talk show.

I'm sooo happy this was the first reply in this thread. So happy.

I agree to a certain extent. Jerry = not funny, but his supporting cast MADE that show. Kramer rocks. He's pretty much the only reason I watched it. It's a shame he couldn't make it work on his own. His physical humor is second to none if you asked me.

Edit:
And oh yeah, Adam Sandler gets my vote for the most unfunny person. ever.

Larry the Cable Guy....god I cannot stand that man!!!

I don't think anybody considers Carson Daly a comedian.

Exactly, and thats why he shouldnt be doing a late night show. He tries so hard to be funny, and fails miserably

I never did like Sienfeld. Both his stand up and his show are boring. Also, Jackie Chan needs to quit tring to be a comedian and go back to kicking peoples asses. Not sure if he counts though.

Congratulations on both counts!

My votes go to Ray Romano, Jay Leno and all the other middle- of-the-road, unwilling to take a chance or offend anyone "comedians"

Yeah, more Police Story, less Shanghai Noon.

How about Jim Carey?

The goofy faces are getting a little ripe.

Lewis Black. His rants get old after about 5 seconds, and he was even more unfunny live than on TV.
Larry the Cable Guy, of course.

David Spade, that guy is a long hair skinny pussy!!
Ditto on Adam Sandler...

a couple nights ago I was watching his show because I couldnt sleep, and it usually helps. But he was talking about how Creed broke up and he lowered the sucking flag to half-staff... I thought it was very funny that he thought he had the authority to make fun of other people for sucking.

The main ones I immediatly thought of:

Whoopi Goldberg
Jay Leno
Colin Quinn

Martin Lawrence is number one on my crap parade. I don't think I've chuckled at his stand-up, movies, or TV shows once. 100% pure crap.

And Dennis Miller used to be funny, back when his thesaurus induced banter seemed like it just rolled of his tongue. In recent years though, it almost seems like he's forcing it. You can almost see him skimming through a dictionary and thesaurus before every appearance, sweating while trying to figure out how to turn the sentence "I want a sandwich" into "I covet the cheesy nourishment of a grilled curd on rye that could only be fathomed of in the Cheddar Gorge caves themselves." :rolleyes:

Gallagher is terrible. It's the most thoughtless and pathetic stand up ever.

Also I put in a vote for everyone on the kings of comedy tour and the blue collar tour. Both groups are just trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

Colin Quinn is dead on too. I have no idea how he keeps getting work. His timing is terrible and he can't finish a sentance without mumbling.

Everyone on MadTv too. I never thought that show was funny.

Bill Cosby...I cannot stand him..just listening to him talk is enough for me to wanna kick his ass...dont get me started with the "comedy"

Ok. #1 - Jay Leno, he is just horrible, it makes me want to cry if I'm stuck watching his show.
Carrot Top makes me want to cry
David Spade makes me want to cry

I don't find MadTv funny, it used to be, but I have respect for them because they do most of the voices for Family Guy (Lois, Shatner, Cosby).

Don't know if it count's but how about the guy from Everyone Loves Raymond? The few times I've seen parts of it (won't watch the whole thing). it's been like a Quaaluude addicted version of Seinfeld.. slow, and stupid.

To sum up this thread: every comedian ;)

Ben Stiller is funny, so's Andy Dick, Jerry Seinfeld and Tom Green, so there ya go. The Andy Dick show was some of the most hilarious stuff I've ever seen.

Adam Sandler used to be funny, but then he got famous and rich (which tends to permanently influence a person's target audience) and has turned flat out unfunny. Billy Madison & Happy Gilmore are funny, Waterboy beyond aren't.

Jimmy Fallon. He quit SNL for a movie career. Dunno why, he's not any good.

Other than that.. no idea. I can't think of any right now.

D.L. Hughley (he is terrible. same tired ass jokes about "white people do it like this, but black people do it LIKE THIS"

Jeff Foxworthy (he's awful. his material sucks and so does he.)

Margaret Cho post 1998. She used to be funny. What happened? Now she pauses for 3o seconds between each joke like everyone needs to get their laughs out. She's really just stretching 30 minutes of bad material into 2 hours. And she also will just repeat the punchline over and over and over thinking it gets funnier each time. it was never funny to begin with. go home.

Carrot Top. Who is that guys audience????

His act is lame. However, I saw him on Tough Crowd and he was actually funny. Not to be gay but he is also buffed. Thought that was strange also.

Ellen and Rosanne. They suck . . can't believe people will pay to listen to those two.

I can't stand comics who do the "white dudes are so stupid" schtick. Pisses me off. Dave Chappelle is one of these guys.

As for Carrot Top, I think the guy can be funny. Most people only know him from those terrible commercials, but he rips those to shreads in his act.

Jerry Seinfeld's not even remotely funny at all. His idiotic show about nothing is not funny, and I really wish he would quickly fade into obscurity.

Adam Sandler - I don't feel that I need much elaboration here. He is one person I wish would stop making movies so studios could perhaps use the money to make something worth seeing.

D. L. Hughley - Sure, poke amateurish and juvenile fun at the people in your audience instead of putting forth an effort in coming up with original and funny material. Lame.

Gilbert Gottfried has somehow managed to build an entire career out of being the utmost in annoying and yet completely unfunny at the same time.

Andy Dick is seriously not funny, bordering on pathetic.

Pauly Shore is just not funny. I'll just leave it at that.

Everyone is free to think someone is funny or not, but to dismiss Chappelle as one of those "comics who do the 'white dudes are so stupid'" displays an ignorance of his work. Chappelle skewers a wide range of individuals, not the least of which is his own race.

Jay Leno
Andrew Dice Clay
Jimmy Kimmel

Someone mentioned Bobcat Goldthwait, and indeed, with that voice, he is very irritating (although a great addition to one of the Police Academy movies), however, i saw some actual stand up with him, and he in his screechy voice explained how he was going to do an impression of Bono singing YMCA, and then switched to a dead on Bono impersonation, and it was absolutely hilarious. I was also stoned at the time.

Worst comedian EVER: Colin Quinn. There are many comedians who you may find unfunny, boring, unispired, or a lame sense of humor. But not only is he unfunny, boring, uninspired, lame, etc, but he can't even SAY the jokes! He has the worst delivery of anyone I have ever seen. Gads.