One hamburger's homage to Wimpy - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Giant Hamburger · 05-06-2003, 12:38 PM

Wimpy, I share your love of the hamburger.
I miss your sweetness and your salt. I gladly post this homage to you on Tuesday, your day of days.

Little known facts about this moocher of burgers:

He originally was a referee for Popeye's professional fights.

He has at least 24 college degrees and a "lofty" IQ.

Wimpy is quite the ladies' man. It's his silver tongue, again. He can sweet-talk any woman on Earth (and will surely try it if he finds out she has access to hamburgers). He has wooed all sorts of females, human and otherwise. He has had more than one affair with the SeaHag, and their relationship to this day is questionable.

He's a poet and here's a sample:

J. WELLINGTON WIMPY'S
APOSTROPHE TO A DESERT DAISY

(imagine our Hero waxing poetic to a flower he has just plucked from the eye socket of a cow skull)

Oh, flower of death, so frail, so red,
Growing from a thing so dead -
Even as l will! be quite soon-
Merely bones 'neath sun and moon
Oh, life -oh, death-so close akin,
Though death can't lose- life can't win
For death is sure, but life-ah well,
'Tis not for me to break the spell
That binds all things in a mighty plan
That can't be changed by laws of man -
That can't be altered by human tricks,
Or e'en be tilted by politics-
Fate alone can pull the strings
That control all human and earthly things.
It is just so: and so 'twill be,
Till the very end of Eternity-
So I cast my lot along with my kind,
And there'll be nobody above to remind-
To remind the gatekeeper an' pass the tip
That J.W. Wimpy was only a gyp.
But-shall you Live? You-just a weed!
To scatter forth your worthless seed-
While I, creation's thing supreme,
Pass on to further nature's scheme?
Nay! Nay! Not so! I'll turn about-
I'm Fate today, you lowly sprout-
I'll pull you up, you little cuss-
Hah! Dust do dust the each of us!
Oh, desert daisy, so pure, so sweet,
You grew from soil that once was meat-
Aye, meat of my choice you chose for food-
Oh, why?-Why have I been so rude?
We both crave beef; we're unlike the others- We're kindred souls; we may be brothers-
But I've killed you. my flower so bright, Plucked you from your home so white.
Sorrow stills my desert madness,
Wild emotions turn to sadness-
But in my brain there is no lull.
ror I picked you from your desert skull-
A skull your throne, whereupon you sat-
And the skull of a cow at that, at that-
And the skull of a lovely cow at that-
And the skull of a lovely cow at that-

paddyjoe · 05-06-2003, 12:44 PM

You've chosen a powerful hero. I myself, am leaving now for an all-beef patty. (doubt I can mootch one for free)
Thanks for the memory!

Spinach_Indeed · 05-06-2003, 04:50 PM

Wimpy was always my favorite. I was considering using him as my Avatar once I reach that point

Boris37 · 05-06-2003, 04:57 PM

haha i love wimpy!!!

rockogre · 05-07-2003, 09:02 AM

Ahhh. One of my all time favorite characters. "I'll glady repay you on Tuesday" was a favorite saying on my ship during my Navy days.

hotzot · 05-07-2003, 07:11 PM

He had a chain of resturants in England till Micky Dees showd up. He was a king back in the 60's

05-06-2003, 12:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	One hamburger's homage to Wimpy Wimpy, I share your love of the hamburger. I miss your sweetness and your salt. I gladly post this homage to you on Tuesday, your day of days. Little known facts about this moocher of burgers: He originally was a referee for Popeye's professional fights. He has at least 24 college degrees and a "lofty" IQ. Wimpy is quite the ladies' man. It's his silver tongue, again. He can sweet-talk any woman on Earth (and will surely try it if he finds out she has access to hamburgers). He has wooed all sorts of females, human and otherwise. He has had more than one affair with the SeaHag, and their relationship to this day is questionable. He's a poet and here's a sample: J. WELLINGTON WIMPY'S APOSTROPHE TO A DESERT DAISY (imagine our Hero waxing poetic to a flower he has just plucked from the eye socket of a cow skull) Oh, flower of death, so frail, so red, Growing from a thing so dead - Even as l will! be quite soon- Merely bones 'neath sun and moon Oh, life -oh, death-so close akin, Though death can't lose- life can't win For death is sure, but life-ah well, 'Tis not for me to break the spell That binds all things in a mighty plan That can't be changed by laws of man - That can't be altered by human tricks, Or e'en be tilted by politics- Fate alone can pull the strings That control all human and earthly things. It is just so: and so 'twill be, Till the very end of Eternity- So I cast my lot along with my kind, And there'll be nobody above to remind- To remind the gatekeeper an' pass the tip That J.W. Wimpy was only a gyp. But-shall you Live? You-just a weed! To scatter forth your worthless seed- While I, creation's thing supreme, Pass on to further nature's scheme? Nay! Nay! Not so! I'll turn about- I'm Fate today, you lowly sprout- I'll pull you up, you little cuss- Hah! Dust do dust the each of us! Oh, desert daisy, so pure, so sweet, You grew from soil that once was meat- Aye, meat of my choice you chose for food- Oh, why?-Why have I been so rude? We both crave beef; we're unlike the others- We're kindred souls; we may be brothers- But I've killed you. my flower so bright, Plucked you from your home so white. Sorrow stills my desert madness, Wild emotions turn to sadness- But in my brain there is no lull. ror I picked you from your desert skull- A skull your throne, whereupon you sat- And the skull of a cow at that, at that- And the skull of a lovely cow at that- And the skull of a lovely cow at that- Last edited by Giant Hamburger; 05-06-2003 at 01:28 PM..

05-06-2003, 04:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
Spinach_Indeed Banned? Location: Artic Tundra	Wimpy was always my favorite. I was considering using him as my Avatar once I reach that point __________________ Spinach in Need is Spinach Indeed

05-06-2003, 04:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
Boris37 Crazy	haha i love wimpy!!! __________________ Fear attracts the fearful....

05-07-2003, 09:02 AM	#5 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Ahhh. One of my all time favorite characters. "I'll glady repay you on Tuesday" was a favorite saying on my ship during my Navy days. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

05-07-2003, 07:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	He had a chain of resturants in England till Micky Dees showd up. He was a king back in the 60's __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

05-06-2003, 12:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	You've chosen a powerful hero. I myself, am leaving now for an all-beef patty. (doubt I can mootch one for free) Thanks for the memory!