05-23-2010, 11:57 PM | #3842 (permalink) |
Winter is Coming
Location: The North
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Shrek 4 - 3/10
A tired, embarrassing rehash of everything that at one point made the Shrek series enjoyable. The funny moments are completely overwhelmed by awkward references to the other movies and sad attempts to recapture the mix of child-friendly fun and wry adult humor that made the first movie so enjoyable. Unless you absolutely HAVE to see the rest of the series, just wait until it shows up on netflix, so at least you effectively get it for free. |
05-24-2010, 08:52 AM | #3844 (permalink) |
Psycho
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The Wicker Man - 2006 version - 5/10 isn't a complete failure as some have suggested. There seems to be a contingent of the otherwise film-savvy public that seizes any opportunity to slate Nicolas Cage. It's almost as if people don't think that, after more than 20 years as a leading man, he's yet proved himself a credible talent on his own merits as opposed to his useful Hollywood family connections that surely helped him to start off with but that are now academic. Time and time again, throughout the 90s and beyond, he has succcessfully carried pictures large and small, usual and unusual. He's undeniably a star - one who's not afraid to push himself and take risks; that's why he gets the benefit of the doubt re: dodgy stuff like this Wicker Man remake. The film is not good. Some parts are unintentionally hilarious when they should be frightening and some bits are downright shit. Things like that are only apparent when the film's in the can and it's too late; and it's clear that Cage thinks he's doing, and is really trying to do good strong work here. He's hung out to dry by a silly script and a misguided approach to the whole thing. Even though this is a remake of a horror classic, there were ways to make it less mad than this: Cage and the movie have been accidentally sabotaged by a very poorly thought-out narrative full of ridiculous incident handled with such po-faced gravity that it's mostly a fun ride and the hundred minutes go by faster than you expect.
The Incredible Melting Man 4/10. I've decided not to watch any more nasties, or old and probably shit horror films until I'm next a) unemployed or b) imprisoned. Life is too short to waste time on this nonsense if seven or eight hours of the day are already taken up by real-life, mandatory nonsense (work). The Incredible Melting Man is about an astronaut who is exposed to the rays of Saturn's rings during a normal space flight somewhere (or something). Upon returning to earth he starts to melt. He also has got super-strength powers. For more than an hour he blunders about damaging and killing people pretty much by accident, and roaring. The fact that he melts seems completely unrelated to the fact that he's a murderer. The victims don't melt or turn into anything - they just die. When the man's not about (which is for a LOT of the time) the film turns to broad, bad, old-fashioned comedy to fill the down time. Some kids practice smoking then play hide and seek. A leering pervert-photographer tries to grope his nubile model. Old couple Harold and Helen try to steal lemons at night. The end is an anticlimax, even though more deaths happen, which tries to rip off Night of the Living Dead and reminded me of the location for the splendid climax to White Heat ("Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"). The very, VERY end however, which has the Incedible Melting Man scooped up and dumped in a bin by an unwitting janitor, who just thinks he's mess on the pavement, did bring a wan smile to my face - but that was partly because I knew the film was ending. Appaloosa 8/10 is a good-looking, and good generally, western with Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen - who are partners in this despite what the poster implies, with them facing off as if they're about to do a duel. Their enemy is Jeremy Irons and the bit of tail that's highly likely to get in the way, cause some friction or be kidnapped is Renee Zellweger - whose unattractiveness fits the period perfectly, because almost all Wild West women in real life were mangy dogs like her. This is a western with all the elements that make the genre great - a nasty rancher, rock-hard lawmen, endless expendable baddies, a train, hostiles, a Wild West touring judge, gun battles, saloon standoffs and loads more. When things could scarcely get any better they do, when Lance Henriksen shows up half way through! Has Ed Harris done westerns before? I can't think of one but he acts like he's been doing them his whole life- and he co-wrote and directed this too! Mortensen is fine as always, and frequently amusing, as the mild-mannered sidekick, but his unconvincing facial hair can be distracting. The Cat Returns 7/10 is a charming and slightly infantile, and very fantastical, Studio Ghibli animation in which a girl, Haru (Anne Hathaway), gets involved with some cats and has some adventures in their land. The cats' political situation is not straighforward: there are cats both inside and outside of the "Kingdom of Cats". Before long the Kingdom cats try to take Haru Kingdom-side via the cat equivalent of extraordinary rendition because, apparently, the Cat Prince wants to marry her. But what's this? The Cat Prince is actually away (at war I think) and his father the at-first cool Cat King (voiced by Tim Curry) tries to cause trouble in ways I've forgot now. Cary Elwes, Peter Boyle and a camp Elliott Gould provide supporting voices in the English dub. Martyrs 8/10 is a French horror from 2008 and it's a very VERY tough watch. I had thought that Inside was pushing things like this about as far as they were ever likely to go; Martyrs moves the goalposts sufficiently that the former now seems like a bit of harmless throwaway fun. As a genre generally horror seems synonymous with fun and a lack of solemnity is often expected. Scary but unreal thrills, black humour, heightened and/or unreal situations and characters, and comic relief are staples. Martyrs chucks all that in the bin and manages to be thrilling, exciting, scary, compelling, nasty in a new and transgressive way and truly, really, horrific - without any irony. It never underestimates the audience, the narrative is unpredictable throughout, it never cheats, and no punches are pulled and the audience is never EVER given any time or space in which to feel safe, or catch their breath. It's definately a contender for that "too painful to watch twice" list. The Informant! 6/10 was not as funny as I had hoped after seeing the trailer. Of course Matt Damon was good and it's always a pleasure to watch him but the Soderbergh style and the stupid music grated. This reminded me a lot of Shattered Glass, in which Hayden Christensen was the man trapped in a web of his own lies, and which was a better-told tale than this. Some more that I watched this past month but don't want to/don't know what to write about: Bruno 7/10 Poison Ivy 6/10 Cemetery Junction 9/10 Away We Go 6/10 Milk 8/10 Flightplan 7/10 The Mummy 6/10 Hud 8/10 |
05-24-2010, 01:11 PM | #3845 (permalink) |
Comment or else!!
Location: Home sweet home
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MacGruber - 10/10 for a comedy that's geared towards college-age males. I think most females will find this band of comedy to be stupid, but my friend, brother and I laughed our asses off throughout the movie. I laughed so hard that I had to catch my breath several times and was borderline aching from all the laughter. I'm still chuckling when I think about some scenes. I will never look at a celery the same again...
__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens. |
05-24-2010, 01:52 PM | #3846 (permalink) |
Winter is Coming
Location: The North
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Despite my fairly harsh review of Shrek 4, I don't feel that way about the other movies (particulalry 1 and 2) at all. 3 and 4 are pretty much moneygrabs without much soul, and I don't have any interest in watching or owning them, but I have no issue with seeing 1 or 2 once in a while. They're nothing immensely special and I think they're quite a bit better than how you describe them.
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05-24-2010, 04:27 PM | #3847 (permalink) |
Psycho: By Choice
Location: dd.land
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Good Hair 10/10
Chris Rock did a great job with this documentary. I think every black woman in the US should see this movie. It's always nice to see things you know, but never really think about being discussed. Then again, anyone who has ever had a question about a Black woman's hair should watch it, too. More than enough educational moments, with just the right amount of humor (it was done by Chris Rock - and even if you don't like his stand-up, you might still very well enjoy this movie). Plus, it's kinda sweet he did the whole thing for his young daughters.
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[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ] |
05-24-2010, 11:37 PM | #3848 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Ok I'll modify what I said: Shrek's first two films are just slightly better than garbage but that's thanks to all the other characters not Shrek. Shrek's got to be one of the worst leading characters in the history of the pictures, he's all the opposite things of what that should be. He doesn't even want to cause trouble and mischief like the Grinch.
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05-30-2010, 08:42 PM | #3849 (permalink) |
bad craziness
Location: Guelph, Ontario
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Prince of Persia 3/10
Ugh. Just ugh. As if Jake Gyllenhall in the title role wasn't bad enough, you get to endure his accent. It's not an American accent, it's not a fake British accent, it's definetly not an Arab accent. It's just a fake indistinguishable accent. And it annoyed the crap out of me for most of the movie. The plot, well lets just say if you think you know what's going to happen next it probably is exactly what will happen. Predictable? Just a tad. The Sands of Time are neat. So let barely use them. Good call The Sands of Time effect did look cool though. The only, and I do mean only reason I'd recommend seeing PoP is for the reason I went to see it. The GF wanted to go see Sex and the City 2, and so I dropped her off with a friend and went to PoP (this easily brought it up from a 2 to a 3).
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"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson |
05-30-2010, 10:35 PM | #3850 (permalink) | |
Comment or else!!
Location: Home sweet home
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Quote:
__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens. |
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06-05-2010, 08:18 AM | #3851 (permalink) |
Psycho
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How to Lose Friends and Alienate People 7/10, fine.
The Cider House Rules 5/10 BLLEAAUUAAUUAARRRRRRRGGEH! is the sound of being sick and my way of illustrating much you might vomit during and after watching The Cider House Rules - if you weren't lucky enough to sleep and snore through the whole movie. It is offensively sentimental and romantic, and manipulative too. The story concerns orphans, abortions, apples, a war, King Kong and other old things like that which used to happen but probably don't anymore. Not in themselves boring but when combined and made into a shitty bullshit story by these particular actors, writers and crew, very very boring indeed. Croaky Michael Caine's accent is all over the place, sounding like a cross between Kermit the Frog and James Stewart and the fact that he won Best Supporting in 1999 (over Tom Cruise and Jude Law!) is a joke. The good things about it are: the scenery, and Charlize Theron, look nice. The set decoration's also nice. Paul Rudd's in it. Unless I've been woefully obtuse and managed to misunderstand the entire last third of this film, it feels like the film is inviting us to regret the imminent death of a quite awful man (Delroy Lindo, whose self-professed "business" is the cutting of other apple-pickers with his knife) who raped his own daughter! Was that acceptable in the olden days? Sorry, what? Did he think it's fine to do that because it wasn't one of the acutal rules like "don't smoke in bed" and "don't go on the roof to eat your lunch"? Isn't "don't make your own daughter pregnant by raping her" one of those unwritten Cider House Rules that everyone knows already and it sort of goes without saying? Fuck you Delroy, you're the bad guy and everyone who isn't glad you're nearly dead is as bad as you are. THX 1138 6/10 was too abstract, sparse and vague for me to get much enjoyment from. It starts off being interesting and ends up with the white-suited characters wandering around completely white sets. It reminded me of that bit in Willy Wonka where the boy gets sent via television. Things do get a bit more interesting towards the end (there's motorbikes and a modified Lola T70) but still, it's not a very good way to spend the future. Where the Wild Things Are 9/10. The Killer Inside Me 7/10 Who's the vilest, most heinous, inhumane movie villain you can think of? Chances are s/he's several rungs below this film's protagonist, Lou Ford (Casey Affleck), on the ladder. I don't often have to deliberately and determinedly look at a the opposite side of the screen to where the action is happening in a scene. It's the adult equivalent of peeking through one's fingers or hiding under the seat. The Killer Inside Me is a very talky and convoluted film noir based on a notorious crime novel by Jim Thompson - how talky this film is, especially in its fat middle, is it's biggest downfall. The thick Texas accents everybody speaks with sound very nice and authentic but it makes what they're saying hard to understand and consequently the twisty-turny plot is too easy to lose track of. This film illustrates perfectly the reason I watch with subtitles at home so people interested in seeing this film but not used to hearing Lone Star State drawlings should probably do likewise. Casey's intensity and his strange high-pitched voice make him ideal for playing this sort of character. There's some good action, extremely black humour and an ending that I can only describe as being profoundly troubling. |
06-05-2010, 06:12 PM | #3852 (permalink) |
Somnabulist
Location: corner of No and Where
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"Get Him To The Greek"
3/3.5 stars out of 4. I give it a 3.5 for people who have been really enjoying the Apatowization of Hollywood comedies, like me. The movie is nowhere near as sweet as most of them (like 40-Year Old Virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up, etc.) but still has a surprisingly entertaining and emotional take on old rock star tropes. For everyone else, a 3, because it still is about emotionally stunted men maturing through misadventurous bonding, meaning you might be sick of that by now. But it is really, really, really funny. And: Russel Brand was literally born to play Aldous Snow. It's the best casting I've seen in years (well, since he originated the character in Sarah Marshall, anyways). Spoiler: It also has what I think must be the most disturbing sex scene since Irreversible.
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"You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press one, or say 'goats.'" |
06-07-2010, 06:49 PM | #3853 (permalink) |
Let's put a smile on that face
Location: On the road...
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Twilight 1 and 2 - both get 2/10
Words can not describe how bad these are!! The only thing that earns this movie and points is due to the dedication wolf boy put into bulking up, its very impressive. The main vampire guy is such a freaking whiny emo baby. And the girl is not any better. "You cant break up with me!!!!" Dear lord give me a break! Repo! The Genetic Opera - 8.5/10 Sweet Gravy on Potatoes was this ever awesome! I loved the singing in it! I hope they make another one in the same style as this. Rock Opera to melt faces!! Spartacus (1960) - 7.5/10 Really enjoyed this one. The only reason it does not get higher marks was due to it not being choreographed as well as modern films. Seeing as this was done in 1960, it is still fantastic. Edge of Darkness - 6/10 Meh, it was okay. Mel Gibson was kind of hard to take, he had this cheesy accent and it felt all over the place. When his daughter screamed to be taken to a doctor gave me goosebumps though, that was the best part of the movie. I liked the premise, but it could have been executed far better. ---------- Post added at 08:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:50 PM ---------- Shrek 3 - 4/10 Wow, this movie was really bad. There were probably 6 scenes that I found to be funny. So in total for that 80 min movie I might laughed 6 times, and not a good hard laugh at anything. Avoid!! |
06-08-2010, 01:55 AM | #3854 (permalink) |
Husband of Seamaiden
Location: Nova Scotia
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Splice: If it was possible..oh hell, it is possible...-5/10
Avoid this disaster of a movie at all costs. A complete and utter waste of $12 and it's two hours of my life that I'm never going to get back.
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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321 |
06-09-2010, 06:04 AM | #3855 (permalink) |
Knight of the Old Republic
Location: Winston-Salem, NC
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The Blind Side -- 2.5/4 stars
This movie was OK. Nothing too bad, but nothing good either. It was incredibly generic and didn't take any risks. The script and plot were completely unimaginative and the movie was totally predictable, even scene by scene. The big black guy that played the poor big black guy was so annoying. All he did was look at the camera sad for 2 hours. Sandra Bullock's character saved the movie from being flat out bad. There was some mild emotion in the movie but most scenes were so generic and cookie cutter that I was actually cringing. This movie has no more soul than an after school special. How it got nominated for best picture is beyond me.
__________________
"A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert |
06-09-2010, 07:24 PM | #3856 (permalink) |
Let's put a smile on that face
Location: On the road...
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Dark City - 8/10
Really cool movie! Kinda like the Matrix before the matrix was the matrix! ha. The Chronicles of Narnia 2 - 7/10 I really did not like the first one, I found it to be far to "kiddy" for my tastes. This one was far superior. |
06-17-2010, 09:37 AM | #3857 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Snake Eyes (1998) 6/10: Nic Cage runs about an Atlantic City casino trying to find out who's done murders and caused all sorts of trouble that night.
The Mask of Zorro (1997) 8/10: Antonio Banderas and Anthony Hopkins run about 19th century Mexico stirring up anachronistic anti-colonialist sentiment. The governor isn't pleased when trouble - by the name of Zorro - comes knocking! Labour Pains (2009) 5/10: Lindsay Lohan pretends she's pregnant to get special treatment at work. As the fib snowballs, she gets into more and more teeth-gritting hilarious trouble! The Mummy Returns (2001) 5/10: Brendan Fraser and his knockabout gang of himself, some other blokes, a plucky young lady and probably a traitor get wind of an ancient treasure(s), and unexpectedly manage to tumble into a whole den of silly trouble in a desert somewhere. The Scorpion King (2002) 7/10: having failed to properly fit himself into the plot of the above film, The Scorpion King tried for his own story, with much more success, the following year. The Rock is a far more valid and appropriate hero than dangling nonentity Fraser ever could hope to be, and in this film he's up against a barrage of almost relentless trouble in the ancient world. Robin Hood (2010) 6/10: not nearly enough trouble in this rude, uninvited update of the legend starring Russell Crowe doing a sickening accent in the title role. Starman (1984) 8/10: guess what happens when aliens answer Voyager 2's golden phonographic disk in the 80s by sending Jeff Bridges to visit Earth? Clue: it involves no small amount of what I like to call trouble! Life as a House (2001) 8/10: Hayden Christensen is an trouble-prone teenage spoiled rotten pseudo-rebel who isn't happy about having to spend the summer with his father, Kevin Kline, who wants to build a house on the edge of a cliff. Alfie (1966) 8/10: stone the crows! There's trouble in store for cheeky Cockney Michael Caine (Alfie), who can't stop knocking up the bloody birds in bleeding London in the fucking 1960s, when everything was OK no matter what. Planet Terror (2007) 7/10: the most trouble that EVER happened in a motion picture happens in this one. Really. To say any more would risk spoiling it. Deadgirl (2008) 6/10: bad boy + shy boy + dead girl = trouble x heaps! The Goat (1921) 8/10: The grandfather of trouble, Buster Keaton, is mistaken for dangerous murderer Dead Shot Dan, and excellent chases ensue. |
06-17-2010, 05:08 PM | #3858 (permalink) |
Insane
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The Book of ELi (2010) 8/10 I really enjoyed this movie. Much more than I thought I would. I was expecting another "I am Legend" but this was not like that movie at all. I really enjoyed the story and the way the movie was shot. The tone of the whole movie was awesome. Denzel Washington was great in this movie. This is his best since "Man on Fire" in fact I liked this better. My only complaint is I think the story could have used a little more background about how the world ended up the way it was. Nice to see Jennifer Beals again too.
DB |
06-19-2010, 11:15 PM | #3859 (permalink) |
Oh dear God he breeded
Location: Arizona
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Just saw the A Team tonight, and holy hell, that movie is awesome. Great summer action flick, which does a wonderful job of being true to it's TV roots while taking it to a whole new level. 5/5.
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Bad spellers of the world untie!!! I am the one you warned me of I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant. |
06-20-2010, 05:23 AM | #3860 (permalink) |
Groovy Hipster Nerd
Location: Michigan
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Antichrist 4/10
Summary: A couple lose their young son when he falls out the window while they have sex in the other room. The mother's grief consigns her to hospital, but her therapist husband brings her home intent on treating her depression himself. To confront her fears they go to stay at their remote cabin in the woods, "Eden", where something untold happened the previous summer. Told in four chapters with a prologue and epilogue, the film details acts of lustful cruelty as the man and woman unfold the darker side of nature outside and within. Comment: Well, it was rather a strange film and if you want to see Willem Dafoe's or Charlotte Gainsbourg genitals up close, then rent this film. But, the last 30 minutes of the film are disturbing. |
06-20-2010, 12:50 PM | #3861 (permalink) | |
Friend
Location: New Mexico
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Quote:
__________________
“If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again.” - Bill O'Reilly "This is my United States of Whateva!" |
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06-22-2010, 08:43 AM | #3862 (permalink) |
Psycho
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The Horse Whisperer (1998) 8/10. Look at Robert Redford. When he was younger he would have been perfect for John Galt: his face really has always been the one without fear or pain or guilt. He could never be a baddie or anyone of seriously questionable integrity (think how miscast would he have been as Michael Corleone, as was Paramount's first intention); that is part of the reason of why Spy Games didn't really work. On screen he's the angel alongside Paul Newman's devil, and parallels have been drawn between his career and Brad Pitt's. I think I'd cast a young Redford over Pitt in most roles because I find him warmer and more genuinely likeable. Pitt is always affable but not, it often seems, simply for the sake of being pleasant; he just is that way by default and as likely as not he has an agenda you don't know about. One can't help wondering what Pitt's angle is. Anyway, The Horse Whisperer is a film starring and directed by Robert Redford in which he helps a young girl (Scarlett Johansson) and her horse (Pilgrim) to get over a bad riding accident. Most of its one hundred and seventy minutes is a pleasure, and seldom drags, thanks to the two leads and quite a brilliant horse. A lot of the film seems to have been shot at the "magic hour" and the weak horizontal sunlight playing across the Montana plains and Redford's aged, calm and calming features is a sight to behold. Sam Neill is usually the best thing about any film he's in but here he and his character are outclassed by everyone else. Kristen Scott Thomas plays the adult female lead, she's about the only element of the film that has dated, being a grossly stereotypical 1990s film woman whose career has gotten in the way of her family.
Watchmen (2008) 8/10 is a strange one in many ways. Such a credible and serious and mature film - based on a comic? Such a budget spent on a film that really is only for adults? Such a hallowed and precious property given the respect it (apparently) deserves - by a studio that has the clout to make it happen? Make no mistake, I do think this is a good thing. It's just pretty surprising. Films like this one, Harry Potter, Beowulf, Where the Wild Things are and (surely!) Inception show that Warner Bros is stubborn head and brawny shoulders above the rest of mainstream Hollywood when it comes to optioning the right projects in the right way using the right talent, and so giving non-stupid people what they want. For those that know about and like the source, Watchmen must almost be almost too good to be true; I don't know about or like the source and, watching Watchmen at home I feel slightly jealous of those who do. The super-dense, labyrinthine and schizophrenic narrative must make almost complete sense to those familiar with the book (it makes roughly 60% sense to me) and the visual and aural extravaganza must merely be the icing on the cake. Not really believing in or identifying with the lofty concepts and ideas that seem to somehow hold up all the strings of narrative, and not being very receptive to superhero/comic films except Spider-Man, my enjoyment mostly comes from the film's chaotic yet believable rendering of the nightmare 1980s, various efficient and well soundtracked montages and all the stinging, sadistic, and finely staged violence. Secondhand Lions (2003) 6/10 is a silly, fluffy, light, heartwarming 'drama' with minimum drama, a perfect watch for a Sunday evening. No effort required whatsoever. It stars Robert Duvall, Haley Joel Osment and Michael Caine (being American again but better this time than in The Cider House Rules). It's the early 1960s and Osment has been dumped by his no-good mother at the house of his two batchelor uncles and charged with finding their treasure. As expected: bonding happens. A Lion (ONE lion, not SOME LIONS) gets bought. In by far the best scene of the film, Duvall brawls with some young greasers who try to steal his food. The Falls (1980) 8/10. Yesssssss! Finally finished The Falls. At last. It's three hours seventeen minutes of meticulously, painstakingly created absurdist nonsense. It's probably not something you'll be able to watch in one sitting unless you're an unusually patient and docile idiot savant. Not being one of those, I divided it into about thirteen 15-minute sized bits. It still took about three months. There's no characters in the traditional sense, no story and no real meaning - just still photographs, supposed 'stock footage' and a voice-over telling us about one of 92 people, each of whose names begin with the letters F-A-L-L and all of whom were affected for better or for worse by the Violent Unknown Event. |
06-23-2010, 11:45 PM | #3863 (permalink) |
Forming
Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
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The A-Team 10!/10
Oh, yeah, that's a bolded 10 with an exclamation point! This movie rocks! It is everything I was hoping it would be! Enough said.
__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager "Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike |
07-04-2010, 04:28 AM | #3864 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Lars and the Real Girl (2007) 7/10
Proud to Be British (1973) 7/10 and Who Cares (1971) 7/10 Withnail and I (1987) 9/10 Switchblade Romance (2003) 8/10 Finding Forrester (2000) 7/10 Das Experiment (2001) 7/10 The Hurt Locker (2009) 9/10 The Beach (2000) 7/10 |
07-04-2010, 06:53 AM | #3865 (permalink) |
Groovy Hipster Nerd
Location: Michigan
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Twilight: Eclipse 7.3/10
The third movie in this tetralogy concentrates heavily on the relationship between Edward, Bella and Jacob. I found this section of the plot to be really annoying, just like the all three characters, but let me move on with something interesting. Do you remember Victoria? The red-headed vampire that wants to kill Bella because her mate, James, was killed in the first movie. Well, she has returned (different actress) and this time she has created new born vampire army to take out the Cullen clan along with Bella. Does it work? I am not going to spoil it for you because I am sure you have read the series, but the vampire/werewolf battle against the new born vampires was the best part of the movie. Knight and Day 3/10 I was underwhelmed with a below average plot with Tom Cruise playing Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz playing Cameron Diaz. Nothing interesting jumps out at me where I would recommend you to watch this film. Wait until it is released on DVD or, just save two hours of your time and skip it all together. Last edited by Jove; 07-04-2010 at 07:05 AM.. |
07-11-2010, 06:57 AM | #3866 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Bride Wars (2009) 4/10. In January of last year film critic Mark Kermode, upon reviewing this film, declared that he would quit his job if Bride Wars was not in his top ten worst films of 2009. He didn't want to be doing a job that obliged him to watch ten films worse than this in a year. (It came in at number 8 so he didn't have to quit.) I can sympathise. Bride Wars isn't textbook bad like some films are: it's not a complete mess and it's not unwatchable. It's just one of those shit films that will probably pass you by unless you're unlucky enough to see it by accident - in which case you'll instantly and completely forget it. The story is: Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson were childhood friends who, when theye were growing uptogether, were both really into weddings. For some reason I don't understand each had their little heart set on getting married at the same place, in the same month of the year. Cynical and transparent plot machinations see them being double booked for their weddings on the same day at the same place! Fucking hell. For reasons that are implicitly obvious for a film called "Bride Wars", featuring brides-to-be warring, this situation is unacceptable. War takes place: proper, awful, real-life war, the likes of which planet earth hasn't seen since Rommel packed away his Africa tunic. Hathaway scatters cluster bombs all over Hudson's blue hair and in response Hudson delegates launch authority of tactical nuclear weapons to field commanders outside Hathaway's house. Mutually assured destruction - sadly - does not occur. Both central characters are deeply, deeply horrible. Those who like them or find their behaviour acceptable are also horrible. If this film has a message - I'm not sure if it really does - it's wholly insidious and destructive. I immediately wanted to go out and do damage to things after seeing it. It's one of those films where, if you ponder - who is this for? Who likes this? Who's laughing at these lame non-jokes? - the answer has got to be: the worst and stupidest people in the world.
Midnight Run (1988) 8/10. Weren't the eighties brilliant? Everyone was rich and constantly smoked cigarettes because it didn't matter, pithy action comedies got their just deserts at the box office, and Robert De Niro wasn't a washed-up old fool. In Midnight Run he's an ex-cop bounty hunter who has to capture and transport Charles Grodin across America in a chase/road movie. There's a lot to enjoy here: De Niro is boorish and belligerant, Grodin is sympathetic and wily and there's plenty of sound comedy relief in the form of bungling gangsters, an inept rival bounty hunter and a brilliant deadpan turn by Yaphet Kotto as a bullish FBI man. School of Rock (2003) 7/10. I didn't used to like Jack Black at all. He always came across as smarmy, self-aware, hyperactive, and always unpleasant to watch - a dislikeable and unfunny fool. In spite of these sentiments I thought I'd give School of Rock a try and was pleasantly surprised. He's funny and likeable! The children at the school he pretends to teach at bring out the best of him: clearly, he likes children and they like him. The children were obviously picked for musical ability rather than acting ability but children of this age (ten to twelve) are rarely good at acting and it's probably for the best that none of them out-act Black. As well as being fairly natural and fun around kids, re acting, they make him look GOOD. Saw IV (2007) 5/10, Saw V (2008) 5/10, Saw VI (2009) 5/10. Thank heavens this is over. (post script: although perhaps not, as I've heard Saw VII is imminent - in 3D). The last three Saw films have merged together in my mind now. Rarely have films so preposterous been so boring! The first two or three Saw movies were ridiculous but had neat tricks and twists hidden up their sleeves which were well played in the final act. The last three try to continue the tradition but with no success at all. Surely nobody watches Saw films to see badly-acted police officers bicker with each other about who the killer might or might not be. No, people want to see the insane killing machines go to work on helpless, soft, delicate human bodies - without this kind of spectacle Saw is just a really poor iteration of CSI or whatever. Numbers IV and V don't realise this and spend far too much time amongst the stiflingly boring cops and FBI agents as they try to use their dull wits to figure out who's doing all the mental killing now that original madman Jigsaw is definately dead. Saw VI does better by spending more time on the mashing, crunching and (at last) sawing of bodies by dreadful implements and machines, but there's still a lot of boring shit to sit through. |
07-16-2010, 04:37 AM | #3869 (permalink) |
Delicious
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Reeker WTF / 10
If you like low budget horror flicks, You'll probably like this one. The effects are well done for it's budget, The acting is cheesy but it's quite suspenseful for it's genre.
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07-16-2010, 12:45 PM | #3870 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Inception (2010) 9/10
***Please note: this is nothing but very general and uncompromising praise, and what I would probably call ridiculous and embarrassing hyperbole if someone else had written it or if it wasn't all true. There are no plot details or spoilers at all. You should feel free to carry on reading it without fear of finding out the slightest tidbit re the film's narrative.*** I just came back from watching Inception and I feel stingy about giving it 9. It's a de facto 10 but a de jure 9 because I have a rule (that Inception has led me to consider scrapping) that says nothing can get 10 on a single viewing. I left the cinema shell-shocked, mindboggled and reeling and now, around two hours after getting home, have only just started to recover. It's similar to my reaction to Avatar but unlike Avatar Inception will still be watched, talked about and revered twenty or thirty years from now. Never have I known a big-budget studio film be as audacious and original as this one (Beowulf probably comes closest). It almost felt like the late sixties and seventies (which, yes I know, I never experienced first hand) when for a short time the studios funded, and took the leash off of, some wildly talented young filmmakers who went on to produce and direct some of the most hallowed and best-loved examples of narrative cinema. If enough people go to see Inception (I think they will), and the gamble pays off, and if we cross our fingers and wait with baited breath - we just might see the worm turn over the coming few years. That rich Hollywood worm with the massive chequebook might come to his senses and turn away from the Michael Bays and towards the Chris Nolans. In other words he might remember that yes, there are smart people who want to watch Inception as well as stupid ones who want to watch Transformers or Twilight. So be smart: go and see Inception as soon as possible to see for yourself what all the goddamn fuss is about. Last edited by oliver9184; 07-16-2010 at 12:48 PM.. |
07-17-2010, 06:18 AM | #3871 (permalink) |
Groovy Hipster Nerd
Location: Michigan
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Inception: 9.5/10
Christopher Nolan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon Levitt. Most people will see this film after hearing the three names listed above, but I was hesitant on viewing this film when I read on imdb that it was oscar worthy and Roger Ebert gave it 4/4 stars. Either this movie is really well done or critics like to overhype overproduced films. And lately, I have been disappointed with the movies released this summer because they were remakes of an original or had popular actors attached to the movie just trying to make more money. Inception has an original story, amazing cast and a super intricate complex idea that worked. I was hooked from the start of the film and understood everything that was presented on screen and I couldn't predict what was going to happen next. And does it continue to spin or fall? Is he in reality or is he in another dream dimension? And am I in a dream dimension or am I awake writing this review? How am I suppose to know? This is how the movie ends leaving us thinking about the above questions and if I am thinking about a movie/characters/story after the movie is over, which is rare with movies these days, then it did what most movies these days haven't been able to do, entertain and make people think. Side note: I had slight difficulty understanding Ken Watanabe because he seemed to mumble his way through some of his lines and I am aware English is not his native language, but overall he did an excellent job with his character. Last edited by Jove; 07-17-2010 at 06:22 AM.. |
07-17-2010, 10:51 AM | #3872 (permalink) |
Delicious
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The Runaways 7/10
Unmarked Spoilers about something that really happened ohnoez! I wanna give it a 10/10 because I love Joan Jett but I can't because the movie is WAY too short. It barely gave Sandy West or Lita Ford any screen time. Hell, It didn't even give them a "Where they are now" text at the end. I rarely say this but the movie could have been 45 minutes longer and been better. It should have given a better sense of time passing, It should have given more screen time to Sandy/Lita. It needed more lead up to Cherie's departure from the band, then a little more time after showing the eventual split a couple of years later. And, umm.. Holy Crap! Dakota Fanning is growing up!
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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry |
07-19-2010, 10:28 AM | #3874 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: I'm up they see me I'm down.
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Flags of Our Fathers 3/5
Not a bad movie, but not as good as Letters From Iwo Jima. It wasn't as emotionally engaging.
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Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me "I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur |
07-20-2010, 12:56 PM | #3876 (permalink) | |
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
Location: Southern Illinois
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Quote:
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AZIZ! LIGHT! |
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07-21-2010, 09:36 AM | #3877 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Hostel Part II (2007) 7/10
Xtro (1983) 7/10 Critters 3 (1991) 4/10 The Simpsons Movie (2007) 6/10 Hellboy (2004) 7/10 and Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) 7/10 The Beach (2000) 7/10 The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933) 8/10 The Jerk (1979) 4/10 The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) 6/10 Get Him to the Greek (2010) 6/10 Annie Hall (1977) 8/10 Insomnia (2002) 8/10 The Prestige (2006) 10/10 Celebrity 6/10 Law Abiding Citizen 5/10 The Dark Knight (2008) 7/10 Saludos Amigos (1942) 6/10 Alice in Wonderland (1933) 3/10 |
07-30-2010, 08:02 PM | #3879 (permalink) |
Eat your vegetables
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
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City of Angels, 1998.
Soundtrack was delightful. Story was basic, but told skillfully. Heartstrings tugged on a number of occasions. Nicolas Cage made it work. A very well-done chick flick that left me tearful.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy |
08-03-2010, 09:56 AM | #3880 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002) 7/10. If loads of the best and cleverest horses clubbed together and hired Matt Damon to be their voice, and made an animated film for other horses, it couldn't be much better or more horsey than Spirit. It's more horsey than Seabiscuit, The Black Stallion, National Velvet and Black Beauty - by which I mean it made me want to be a horse much more than those films did - until the film ended at least. Horses on screen have always always ALWAYS been noble and loyal but dull-witted compliant animals that exist to serve and submit to mankind. The best part by far of The Black Stallion was when it and the boy ran about on the beach after the shipwreck without any cares. Then they got rescued and taken to America and Mickey Rooney showed up and spoiled everything. In some ways Spirit is Disney than Disney but quite a lot less fun than that suggests, and executed with a lot less imagination. Some exilerating chases and highly preposterous setpieces make it worth a look.
The Three Caballeros (1944) 6/10, Fun and Fancy Free (1947) 6/10 and Melody Time (1948) 7/10 are all follow-ups to Saludos Amigos (1942) in which several short and mostly musical stories are told in the space of about an hour. During WWII a lot of Disney's creative staff were comandeered by the US government to produce propaganda films; ideas that would otherwise have been left as shorts were stitched together to make these compilation films rather than producing feature-length stories from scratch, which would have taken more man-hours than they had available. There are ups and downs in all of them but highlights include Pedro, Little Tug, Bongo, The Cold-Blooded Penguin Johnny Appleseed and Pecos Bill. Casey Bats Again (1954) 6/10, Donald Applecore (1954) 7/10, Lambert the Sheepish Lion (1952) 6/10 were all Disney shorts included on the Melody Time DVD and were all pretty forgettable. Donald Applecore is worth a look because Donald shoots nuclear bullets (that cause proper nuclear explosions) from a helicopter at the chipmunks who rob his apples. A chicken eats one thinking it food and lays a nuclear egg. Donald picks it up then gets blasted into a crater so deep you can't even see or hear him from the bottom of it. HA! Toy Story 3 (2010) ?/10 - this should probably be a 9 but I can't properly assess it because of a bawling baby who was sitting behind me in the cinema, making me miss some lines, and the fact that I completely missed about five minutes for a toilet break. Aladdin (1992) 8/10 Man of the Year (2006) 5/10 Network (1976) 7/10 |
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