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05-12-2003, 07:54 PM
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#42 (permalink) |
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Addict
Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada
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Ralph Wiggum - I beat the smart people! I beat the smart people! Ow!!
Lisa - Are you okay Ralph? Ralph - I bent my Wookie. and related to that; Ralph - My cat's breath smells like cat food.
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"A witty saying proves nothing" - Voltaire |
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05-12-2003, 10:34 PM
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#43 (permalink) |
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occasional iconoclast
Location: Flushing, MI
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In parody of events in Illinois...
"Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we've ever had!" - Jimbo
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----- Monty this seems strange to me. The movies had that movie thing, but nonsense has a welcome ring and heroes don't come easy. |
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05-13-2003, 05:52 PM
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#44 (permalink) |
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Crazy
Location: Center Ice
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Homer (trying to sound like Mr. Burns): Hello, My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me?
Attendant: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name? Homer: I don't ...know
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat |
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05-14-2003, 10:29 AM
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#46 (permalink) |
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Industrialist
Location: Southern California
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I love this thread!
"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. 'Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells.' Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is." -Homer
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All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860) |
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05-14-2003, 09:59 PM
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#47 (permalink) |
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I am not permanent.
Location: Tennessee
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Get ready for a misquote...
Homer: I can't become a missionary! I don't even BELIEVE in Jeebus! (then later..) SAVE ME JEEBUUUSSS!
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If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg |
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05-17-2003, 02:31 PM
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#48 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: Raleigh, NC / Atlanta, GA
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*sigh* So many good ones
(this is probably misquoted but you get the idea) Lisa and Homer see a news report of an oil spill on tv, showing lots of animals covered in oil Lisa: Oh no! Homer: Oh, don't worry sweetie. There's plenty more oil where that came from.  Disco Stu is good as well (in my sig) and Duff Man is always good for a laugh. Dammit, every character has had funny lines over the course of the series!
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"The South is gonna boogie again" - Disco Stu |
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05-18-2003, 10:23 PM
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#49 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: San Francisco
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Woman asking question to Homer:
"Ok so this is a simple lie detector test. All you have to do is answer yes or no. Do you understand?" "Yes!" :lie detector machine blows up:
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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster... --Acknowledge your weaknesses-- Last edited by -Ever-; 05-19-2003 at 10:23 AM.. |
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05-19-2003, 02:51 AM
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#51 (permalink) |
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Muy loca en la cabeza!!
Location: San Diego. Ca.
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HOMER: "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today." |
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05-19-2003, 10:06 AM
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#55 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Belgium
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/grandpa Simpson walks into the room with a hammer and wooden stake
Grandpa : "We have to kill the boy !" Lisa : "How did you know he was a vampire ?" Grandpa : "Vampire !? Aaaaah !!"
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You don't know what you don't know. |
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05-19-2003, 09:40 PM
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#56 (permalink) |
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Not Brand Ecch!
Location: New Orleans
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Fat Bart: "Ah warsh mahself with a rag on a stick..."
Moe: "I'm gonna use your head for a bucket, and paint my house with your brains!" Kent Brockman: "Argle-bargle, or foofarah?"
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Killing that robot makes me want to go home. |
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05-27-2003, 04:00 PM
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#60 (permalink) |
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Bartender Extraordinaire
Location: The good side of the Red River
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Homer: "I'm not a rage-a-holic!"
Marge: "Yes you are. Look, you're punching the cat right now." Homer: (stops punching and drops a mewling Snowball II) "Oh! I can't help it. I just can't live without rage-ahol!."
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"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold." |
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05-27-2003, 07:58 PM
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#62 (permalink) |
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Indifferent to anti-matter
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Parody of Disney commercial jingle:
Burns: Some men hunt for sport, Others hunt for food, The only thing I'm hunting for, Is an outfit that looks good... See my vest, see my vest, Made from real gorilla chest, Feel this sweater, there's no better, Than authentic Irish setter. See this hat, 'twas my cat, My evening wear - vampire bat, These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino. Grizzly bear underwear, Turtles' necks, I've got my share, Beret of poodle, on my noodle It shall rest, Try my red robin suit, It comes one breast or two, See my vest, see my vest, See my vest. Like my loafers? Former gophers - It was that or skin my chauffeurs, But a greyhound fur tuxedo Would be best, So let's prepare these dogs, Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs, Burns: See my vest, see my vest, Oh please, won't you see my vest.
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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst. |
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05-28-2003, 05:43 AM
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#64 (permalink) |
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Upright
Location: On board the GSV Transitive Morality
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Darlene : Oh Cletus, why'd you have to park so close to my parents?
Cletus : Don't woorry, they's my parents too! cue banjo Professor Frink : Oh boy. That monkey is sure going to pay. Homer : Alas, my rapacity knows no satiety.
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The gods are not fickle. But they have been known to change their minds. I am the Mad Scientist who runs the clone vats that produce Qpid's Liberation Army. We will take over the world before Microsoft does. Join the Revolution! |
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05-29-2003, 07:00 PM
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#68 (permalink) |
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Tilted
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Lisa: "I think it's ironic how Dad saved the day while a slimmer man would've fallen to his death."
Bart: "And I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas--" Marge: "Bart!!" ---------------- Homer: "This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke...it just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!" Last edited by moo; 05-29-2003 at 07:03 PM.. |
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05-29-2003, 07:29 PM
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#69 (permalink) |
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Insane
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"If he's anything like me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch."
"I grew up with tv and i turned out tv." I can't remember the last one exactly, but it's something like: "God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place in organized religion!" |
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05-31-2003, 07:53 AM
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#70 (permalink) | |
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Stereophonic
Location: Chitown!!
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Quote:
Phone voice: "the fingers you have selected are too fat. to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your fist now." Chief Wiggum: "you have the right to remain....." (looks at Miranda rights teleprompter in car) "YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT" (PUNCH IN BELLY)
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Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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06-02-2003, 11:20 PM
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#72 (permalink) |
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Not Brand Ecch!
Location: New Orleans
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Homer: "Heh. That's what you get, for not hailing to the chimp."
Nameless Kwik-E-Mart corporate guy: "And you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles!"
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Killing that robot makes me want to go home. |
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06-04-2003, 05:42 PM
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#75 (permalink) |
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Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
Location: Oreegawn
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Bart: Lisa, why don't you join a religion where people eat each other's heads off!
Lisa: BART!!!! Bart: okok...jeesh. maybe you should just join the Methodists (Bart is playing "Bible Blaster" with the Flanders kids) Kids: Convert the Heathens, Convert the Heathens! Bart: Yeah! i got one! Kids: No, you just nicked him. Now he's Unitarian
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Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. Last edited by mystmarimatt; 06-04-2003 at 05:49 PM.. |
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06-05-2003, 09:25 AM
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#77 (permalink) |
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Tilted
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<Springfield Squares>
Disco Stu: Disco Stu's gonna make three in a row playing tic-tac-toe Host (Brockman?): er, Stu, we like to downplay the resemblance to tic-tac-toe Disco Stu: I can dig it -------------------------- <the shinning> Homer: "No Beer and No TV make homer... something something" Marge: Go Crazy? Homer: Don't mind if i do!! !agh! |
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06-05-2003, 12:54 PM
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#78 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: The Kitchen
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Dr. Nick - "It's such a nice day, I think I'll go out the window!" (to escape the press)
Dr. Nick to Smithers, dying in fron of hospital from bee sting "Oh my god!... You need booze!" (throws change) Or the time Dr. Nick entered an operating room and said "Hi everybody" in a serious tone, and was replied by an equally serious "Hi Dr. Nick" |
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| Tags |
| favorite, simpsons, thread |
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