The all new favorite Simpsons quote thread - Page 4 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

onetime2 · 08-18-2003, 08:59 AM

From the episode where Bart creates an international incident with Australia:

Homer learns that the embassy is a part of America and is jumping back and forth at the gate:

"I'm in America, now I'm in Australia!"
"America, Australia!"
"America, Australia!"
"America, ..." SMASH!!!
The Marine Guard decks him and says..
"We don't tolerate that kind of crap in America sir."

Averett · 08-19-2003, 05:33 AM

Ralph Wiggum has some classics, many of which I'm sure have already been posted by others. So I appoligize ahead of time if these have already been said

"My cats breath smells like cat food!"

Ralph: I won!
Skinner: No Ralph, you're failing English
Ralph: Me fail English, thats unpossible!

The entire April Fools episode when Bart uses the paint shaker to shake up a can of Duff is classic. When the house blows up I lose it every time.

Chief Wiggum: Pretzels, I repeat we need pretzels

At the end of the episode when Homer says "Why I laugh?" Has me rolling every time.

telekinetic2 · 08-19-2003, 05:41 AM

Radioactive man episode where they're filming with 'real acid' and milhouse decides not to rescue mcbain:

"Agh, my eyes! The Goggles! They do Nothing!"

sadatx · 08-19-2003, 12:38 PM

A few quotes, short but sweet (but still some of my favorites):

HOMER (consoling Bart): "There, there, shut up boy."

and

HOMER (to Lisa): "I've just about had enough of your Vassar bashing young lady."

and

HOMER: "Ewwwwww, gimme the crab juice." (spot that episode, should be easy)

and

pretty much anything Homer says.

Grouper · 08-20-2003, 01:50 PM

Homer Simpson from Bart's tree house as burglar is inside the Simpsons' house sitting on the couch watching TV:

"You'd better not be sitting in my ass groove!"

PulpMind · 08-20-2003, 04:00 PM

"It's not that I don't understand, it's that I don't care"
- Homer Simpson

m0rpheus · 08-22-2003, 12:11 AM

After hitting a deer statue with the car

Homer: D'ph!
Lisa: A Deer!
Marge: A Female Deer!

===

To the tune of The Flintstones

"Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in His-tor-y.
From the, town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

Irish2 · 08-22-2003, 05:02 AM

Homer : Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

or

Homer : Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

or

Homer : I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

or

Bart : There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson

stinkynutz · 08-22-2003, 12:52 PM

sorry if this has already been posted.

Groundskeeper Willy: Lunch lady Doris, ye gots any grease?
Doris: Yes, yes we do.
Willy: Then grease me up, Woman!!!!!!

Homer: I'm the beeeer baron.

AP1 · 08-22-2003, 06:23 PM

**marge in a crash-up-derby**
marge: quit running into me.. go around go around

**homer runs in to save the day**
homer: hey, quit banging my wife

crfpilot · 08-24-2003, 07:30 PM

Moe in the episode where Marge gets all buff:

Marge, how do I put this delicately, I ain't got enough boose in here to make you look good.

djflish · 08-25-2003, 01:48 PM

homer, while driving (singing to tune of the flinstones)

"Homer, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in history,
From the, town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
AAAH!"

ObieX · 09-03-2003, 06:23 PM

Lunch Lady Doris: "More testicles mean more iron!"

Shokan · 09-03-2003, 07:06 PM

Bake em away, toys.

trench · 09-03-2003, 08:46 PM

I may screw this one up but...

Lisa: Dad, what would you say if I told you that you could lose weight subliminally?

Homer; I'd call you a lying scumbag, why sweetie?

Kaos · 09-04-2003, 08:16 PM

Belle (From the Burlesque House): ...are you wearing a grocery bag??

Homer: I have misplaced my pants

trench · 09-04-2003, 11:37 PM

Homer no function beer well without.

brandon11983 · 09-09-2003, 08:51 PM

Homer: Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the President of Cuba.

utang · 09-09-2003, 08:55 PM

"Homer: Marge, its uter-US not uter-you."

"Scientist: It could substantially increase your brain power, or it could kill you
Homer: Increase my killing power eh?"

JcL · 09-10-2003, 11:31 AM

Ralph "It tastes like burning!"

Smithers boot up screen on his computer has a naked Burns on it that says something like "Thank you... for turning... me on."

scansinboy · 09-10-2003, 09:33 PM

Homer: And just look at this perpetual motion machine she built. It just keeps going faster and faster... That's it, Lisa get in here.

Lisa: Yes?

Homer: In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!!

Apache · 09-11-2003, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Katyblu

Ralph: Mrs. Krabapple and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies, and the baby looked at me! [/B]

I LOVE THAT ONE

Astrocloud · 09-23-2003, 12:57 PM

Homer:

"Marge, where's that metal doobie you use to...dig.....food..?" "you mean a spoon?" "yeah yeah yeah"

tinger · 09-24-2003, 09:16 AM

(Police are leading away Sideshow Bob and his brother Cecil)
Bart: Take'em away boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, that's my line. Bake'em away toys.
Officer Lou: What'd you say Chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid said.

split lickety · 09-24-2003, 03:53 PM

I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what
I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.
--- Abe Simpson

Nelson's Dad: Great game, son. I'm taking you to Hooters!
Nelson: I don't wanna bother mom at work.

wry1 · 10-01-2003, 11:29 PM

Bart (On the back of Cecil, evil brother of Sideshow Bob, covering his eyes): "Guess who?"

Cecil: "Maris?"

I just love that one, especially since Sideshow Bob is voiced by Kelsey Grammar, David Hyde Pierce does Cecil, and they managed to fit the "Frasier" joke right in!!!

Wu Lung · 10-02-2003, 10:18 AM

It's a long one but one of my fave bits

Old Chinese Man: Take this doll but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ohh, that's bad
OCM: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
OCM: The frogurt is also cursed!
Homer: That's bad!
OCM: But it comes with your free choice of toppings
Homer: That's good!
OCM: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
Homer: ...
OCM: That's bad
Homer: Can I go now?

And also from the same episode

Homer: "Marge!Marge! The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!"

crfpilot · 10-03-2003, 06:34 AM

Homer at spring break:

"Guess how many boobs I saw Marge...15." as he passes out on the couch.

Fremen · 10-03-2003, 04:01 PM

This is a long quote from "King-size Homer":

"Bart: If you gain 61 pounds they'll let you work at home?
Homer: Y'uh huh, that's the deal. No more exercise program, no more
traffic, no more blood drives or charity walks.
Bart: Dad, I know we don't do a lot together but helping you gain 61
pounds is something I want to be a part of.

[Lisa swings her chair around, unexpectedly appearing.]
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: [frightened] Aah!
Lisa: I must protest. You're abusing a program intended to help the
unfortunate.
Homer: Hee hee hee, I'm not saying it isn't sleazy, honey, but try to
see it my way: all my life I've been an obese man trapped inside
a fat man's body.
Lisa: Have you told Mom about this?
Homer: No, it would only worry her. If you want to add to her worries,
go ahead. I guess I'm just a little more grateful for all the
things she's done for us.

Lisa: [annoyed] Dad!
Homer: Yes, sweetheart?
Lisa: Obesity is really unhealthy; any doctor will tell you that.
Homer: Oh yeah? Well we'll just see about that little miss smart
guy!
[Cut to Dr. Hibbert's office.]
Dr. Hibbert: [gasps] My God, that's monstrous. I've never heard of
anything so negligen -- I'll have no part of it!
[Turns his back on Homer.]
Homer: Can you recommend a doctor who will?
Hibbert: [turns around again] Yes.
-- And that doctor is...

[Dr. Nick Riviera walks into the room.]

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick!
Dr. Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously
underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow
steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.
Homer: [pensive] Of course.
Dr. Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected
food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group
and the chocotastic!
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with
bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon,
heh...
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it
against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's
your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!
Homer: Bye, Dr. -- oh, forget it. "

sillygirl · 10-16-2003, 10:51 PM

Crayons taste like purple!

BuddyHawks · 10-22-2003, 09:10 PM

Homer: "Morning"
Lisa: "Dad, where are your clothes?"
Homer:"I don't know."
Lisa"Don't tell me Mom dresses you!"
Homer"I guess, or one of her friends."

costello · 10-25-2003, 02:12 AM

Homer: no tv and no beer makes homer something something

Marge: go crazy?

Homer: DONT MIND IF I DO!

ralph: TAPE ... HE SAID TAAAPPPPEEEEE-OOOO
ralph (after finding something on the archeological dig): Princskimple snipper ive found something!

Crabtree (after ralph finds something on the archeological dig): ralph thats your shovel head

Ralph: and i found it!

rs8001 · 10-27-2003, 07:42 PM

Burns: Meltdown, that's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an "unrequested fission surplus".

phukraut · 10-28-2003, 10:29 AM

Snake: wallet inspector!
Nerds: ok.. i think you'll find everything is in order.
Snake: yoink!
Homer: that's not the wallet inspector.

Alien presidential candidate (APC): abortions for all!
Crowd: boo!
APC: alright, no abortions for anyone!
Crowd: boo!
APC: abortions for some, miniature flags for all!
Crowd: yay!

Homer: don't blame me! i voted for Kodos(sp?).

Lovejoy: Ned, have you tried any of the other major religions? they're all pretty much the same.

Karl: let's make litter out of these literatis!
Lenny: that's too clever, you're one of them!

Comicbookguy: but aquaman, you can't marry a woman with no gills; you're from two different worlds! ...oh no, i've wasted my life.

Lenny(?): let's go destroy the observatory to make sure this never happens again!

Burns: for thousands of years, man has yearned to destroy the sun.

glytch · 10-28-2003, 11:34 AM

The kids are sitting in front of the doghouse and Homer comes over and says something like:

Homer: What's going on? Is the TV broken again?
Bart: There's a badger trapped in there.
Homer: Oh badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse.

That is endlessly funny to me for some strange reason.

Averett · 10-28-2003, 12:25 PM

Bart is in his room looking at his frog and he says "Man, I wish I were a frog"

Marge comes in and says "Bart, what do you think about going to France?"

(I'm part French and found this hilarious)

riptide4070 · 10-28-2003, 04:35 PM

Homer: I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean S-M-A-R-T.

monkeydriven · 10-30-2003, 06:57 AM

Homer, there's something I don't like about that severed hand.

PeterPan · 09-11-2004, 06:11 AM

Homer :- Marge, I'd like a moment alone with the sandwitch.

Marge:- You're going to eat it, aren't you.

-- Dramatic pause --

Homer:- Yes.

2sheds · 09-12-2004, 05:36 PM

homer - "going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds."

08-18-2003, 08:59 AM	#121 (permalink)
onetime2 Junkie Location: NJ	From the episode where Bart creates an international incident with Australia: Homer learns that the embassy is a part of America and is jumping back and forth at the gate: "I'm in America, now I'm in Australia!" "America, Australia!" "America, Australia!" "America, ..." SMASH!!! The Marine Guard decks him and says.. "We don't tolerate that kind of crap in America sir." __________________ Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

08-19-2003, 05:33 AM	#122 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Ralph Wiggum has some classics, many of which I'm sure have already been posted by others. So I appoligize ahead of time if these have already been said "My cats breath smells like cat food!" Ralph: I won! Skinner: No Ralph, you're failing English Ralph: Me fail English, thats unpossible! The entire April Fools episode when Bart uses the paint shaker to shake up a can of Duff is classic. When the house blows up I lose it every time. Chief Wiggum: Pretzels, I repeat we need pretzels At the end of the episode when Homer says "Why I laugh?" Has me rolling every time. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-22-2003, 12:11 AM	#127 (permalink)
m0rpheus bad craziness Location: Guelph, Ontario	After hitting a deer statue with the car Homer: D'ph! Lisa: A Deer! Marge: A Female Deer! === To the tune of The Flintstones "Simpson, Homer Simpson He's the greatest guy in His-tor-y. From the, town of Springfield He's about to hit a chestnut tree. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" __________________ "it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

08-22-2003, 06:23 PM	#130 (permalink)
AP1 Crazy Location: Virginia, USA	marge in a crash-up-derby marge: quit running into me.. go around go around homer runs in to save the day homer: hey, quit banging my wife __________________ i'm the man from nantucket

08-25-2003, 01:48 PM	#132 (permalink)
djflish The Mighty Boosh Location: I mostly come out at night, mostly...	homer, while driving (singing to tune of the flinstones) "Homer, Homer Simpson, He's the greatest guy in history, From the, town of Springfield, He's about to hit a chestnut tree. AAAH!" __________________ Europes two great narcotics, Alcohol and Christianity. I know which one I prefer.

08-19-2003, 05:41 AM	#123 (permalink)
telekinetic2 Loser	Radioactive man episode where they're filming with 'real acid' and milhouse decides not to rescue mcbain: "Agh, my eyes! The Goggles! They do Nothing!"

08-19-2003, 12:38 PM	#124 (permalink)
sadatx Psycho	A few quotes, short but sweet (but still some of my favorites): HOMER (consoling Bart): "There, there, shut up boy." and HOMER (to Lisa): "I've just about had enough of your Vassar bashing young lady." and HOMER: "Ewwwwww, gimme the crab juice." (spot that episode, should be easy) and pretty much anything Homer says.

08-20-2003, 01:50 PM	#125 (permalink)
Grouper Crazy	Homer Simpson from Bart's tree house as burglar is inside the Simpsons' house sitting on the couch watching TV: "You'd better not be sitting in my ass groove!"

08-20-2003, 04:00 PM	#126 (permalink)
PulpMind Addict Location: Portland	"It's not that I don't understand, it's that I don't care" - Homer Simpson

08-22-2003, 05:02 AM	#128 (permalink)
Irish2 Upright Location: Dublin, Ireland	Homer : Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. or Homer : Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such. or Homer : I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around! or Bart : There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson

08-22-2003, 12:52 PM	#129 (permalink)
stinkynutz Insane	sorry if this has already been posted. Groundskeeper Willy: Lunch lady Doris, ye gots any grease? Doris: Yes, yes we do. Willy: Then grease me up, Woman!!!!!! Homer: I'm the beeeer baron.

08-24-2003, 07:30 PM	#131 (permalink)
crfpilot Punk In Drublic Location: So Cal	Moe in the episode where Marge gets all buff: Marge, how do I put this delicately, I ain't got enough boose in here to make you look good.

09-03-2003, 06:23 PM	#133 (permalink)
ObieX Pickles Location: Shirt and Pants (NJ)	Lunch Lady Doris: "More testicles mean more iron!" __________________ We Must Dissent.

09-03-2003, 07:06 PM	#134 (permalink)
Shokan Addict Location: Canada	Bake em away, toys. __________________ Legalize it.

09-03-2003, 08:46 PM	#135 (permalink)
trench Crazy Location: Charlotte, NC	I may screw this one up but... Lisa: Dad, what would you say if I told you that you could lose weight subliminally? Homer; I'd call you a lying scumbag, why sweetie?

10-16-2003, 10:51 PM	#150 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Crayons taste like purple! __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

09-04-2003, 08:16 PM	#136 (permalink)
Kaos Ssssssssss Location: Ontario	Belle (From the Burlesque House): ...are you wearing a grocery bag?? Homer: I have misplaced my pants

09-04-2003, 11:37 PM	#137 (permalink)
trench Crazy Location: Charlotte, NC	Homer no function beer well without.

09-09-2003, 08:51 PM	#138 (permalink)
brandon11983 Stereophonic Location: Chitown!!	Homer: Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the President of Cuba. __________________ Well behaved women rarely make history.

09-09-2003, 08:55 PM	#139 (permalink)
utang Crazy Location: In a Dorm	"Homer: Marge, its uter-US not uter-you." "Scientist: It could substantially increase your brain power, or it could kill you Homer: Increase my killing power eh?" __________________ I am a ridiculous man- Fyodor Doestoevsky

09-10-2003, 11:31 AM	#140 (permalink)
JcL Crazy Location: Simi Valley, CA	Ralph "It tastes like burning!" Smithers boot up screen on his computer has a naked Burns on it that says something like "Thank you... for turning... me on." __________________ "Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth then lies." - Nietzsche

09-10-2003, 09:33 PM	#141 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	Homer: And just look at this perpetual motion machine she built. It just keeps going faster and faster... That's it, Lisa get in here. Lisa: Yes? Homer: In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!! __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

09-23-2003, 12:57 PM	#143 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Homer: "Marge, where's that metal doobie you use to...dig.....food..?" "you mean a spoon?" "yeah yeah yeah"

09-24-2003, 09:16 AM	#144 (permalink)
tinger Tilted	(Police are leading away Sideshow Bob and his brother Cecil) Bart: Take'em away boys. Chief Wiggum: Hey, that's my line. Bake'em away toys. Officer Lou: What'd you say Chief? Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid said.

09-24-2003, 03:53 PM	#145 (permalink)
split lickety Banned Location: eugene, OR	I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. --- Abe Simpson Nelson's Dad: Great game, son. I'm taking you to Hooters! Nelson: I don't wanna bother mom at work.

10-01-2003, 11:29 PM	#146 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Bart (On the back of Cecil, evil brother of Sideshow Bob, covering his eyes): "Guess who?" Cecil: "Maris?" I just love that one, especially since Sideshow Bob is voiced by Kelsey Grammar, David Hyde Pierce does Cecil, and they managed to fit the "Frasier" joke right in!!!

10-02-2003, 10:18 AM	#147 (permalink)
Wu Lung Upright Location: Halifax, NS	It's a long one but one of my fave bits Old Chinese Man: Take this doll but beware it carries a terrible curse! Homer: Ohh, that's bad OCM: But it comes with a free frogurt! Homer: That's good! OCM: The frogurt is also cursed! Homer: That's bad! OCM: But it comes with your free choice of toppings Homer: That's good! OCM: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. Homer: ... OCM: That's bad Homer: Can I go now? And also from the same episode Homer: "Marge!Marge! The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!" __________________ Win if you can, lose if you must....but always cheat.

10-03-2003, 06:34 AM	#148 (permalink)
crfpilot Punk In Drublic Location: So Cal	Homer at spring break: "Guess how many boobs I saw Marge...15." as he passes out on the couch.

10-03-2003, 04:01 PM	#149 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	This is a long quote from "King-size Homer": "Bart: If you gain 61 pounds they'll let you work at home? Homer: Y'uh huh, that's the deal. No more exercise program, no more traffic, no more blood drives or charity walks. Bart: Dad, I know we don't do a lot together but helping you gain 61 pounds is something I want to be a part of. [Lisa swings her chair around, unexpectedly appearing.] Lisa: Dad! Homer: [frightened] Aah! Lisa: I must protest. You're abusing a program intended to help the unfortunate. Homer: Hee hee hee, I'm not saying it isn't sleazy, honey, but try to see it my way: all my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body. Lisa: Have you told Mom about this? Homer: No, it would only worry her. If you want to add to her worries, go ahead. I guess I'm just a little more grateful for all the things she's done for us. Lisa: [annoyed] Dad! Homer: Yes, sweetheart? Lisa: Obesity is really unhealthy; any doctor will tell you that. Homer: Oh yeah? Well we'll just see about that little miss smart guy! [Cut to Dr. Hibbert's office.] Dr. Hibbert: [gasps] My God, that's monstrous. I've never heard of anything so negligen -- I'll have no part of it! [Turns his back on Homer.] Homer: Can you recommend a doctor who will? Hibbert: [turns around again] Yes. -- And that doctor is... [Dr. Nick Riviera walks into the room.] Dr. Nick: Hi everybody! Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick! Dr. Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology. Homer: [pensive] Of course. Dr. Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic! Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor? Dr. Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, heh... Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes! Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody! Homer: Bye, Dr. -- oh, forget it. " __________________ Google

10-22-2003, 09:10 PM	#151 (permalink)
BuddyHawks Swashbuckling Location: Iowa...sometimes	Homer: "Morning" Lisa: "Dad, where are your clothes?" Homer:"I don't know." Lisa"Don't tell me Mom dresses you!" Homer"I guess, or one of her friends." __________________ Watch More TV

10-25-2003, 02:12 AM	#152 (permalink)
costello Insane Location: Tucson	Homer: no tv and no beer makes homer something something Marge: go crazy? Homer: DONT MIND IF I DO! ralph: TAPE ... HE SAID TAAAPPPPEEEEE-OOOO ralph (after finding something on the archeological dig): Princskimple snipper ive found something! Crabtree (after ralph finds something on the archeological dig): ralph thats your shovel head Ralph: and i found it! __________________ "They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts." -Almost Famous

10-27-2003, 07:42 PM	#153 (permalink)
rs8001 Crazy Location: Indiana	Burns: Meltdown, that's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an "unrequested fission surplus".

10-28-2003, 10:29 AM	#154 (permalink)
phukraut Addict	Snake: wallet inspector! Nerds: ok.. i think you'll find everything is in order. Snake: yoink! Homer: that's not the wallet inspector. Alien presidential candidate (APC): abortions for all! Crowd: boo! APC: alright, no abortions for anyone! Crowd: boo! APC: abortions for some, miniature flags for all! Crowd: yay! Homer: don't blame me! i voted for Kodos(sp?). Lovejoy: Ned, have you tried any of the other major religions? they're all pretty much the same. Karl: let's make litter out of these literatis! Lenny: that's too clever, you're one of them! Comicbookguy: but aquaman, you can't marry a woman with no gills; you're from two different worlds! ...oh no, i've wasted my life. Lenny(?): let's go destroy the observatory to make sure this never happens again! Burns: for thousands of years, man has yearned to destroy the sun.

10-28-2003, 11:34 AM	#155 (permalink)
glytch I am not permanent. Location: Tennessee	The kids are sitting in front of the doghouse and Homer comes over and says something like: Homer: What's going on? Is the TV broken again? Bart: There's a badger trapped in there. Homer: Oh badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse. That is endlessly funny to me for some strange reason. __________________ If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg

10-28-2003, 12:25 PM	#156 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Bart is in his room looking at his frog and he says "Man, I wish I were a frog" Marge comes in and says "Bart, what do you think about going to France?" (I'm part French and found this hilarious) __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

10-28-2003, 04:35 PM	#157 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	Homer: I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean S-M-A-R-T. __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'