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10-16-2003, 08:28 PM
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#81 (permalink) |
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Desert Rat
Location: Arizona
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Heh i was watching the dvd of the show when I found this thread! Great idea. Oh yeah! Gigidigigidigigidi
The episode where Peter and Chris try to uncancel Gumble to Gumble: Peter: Alright Calahan me and my son want you to uncancel Gumble to Gumble. Calahan: Well sir, we only air the show, we have nothing to do with it being cancelled. I have all the episodes on tape, would you like to borrow them? Peter: Ok you bastard, you wanna play rough? All right. Until you bring the gumbles back, I am going on a hunger strike. yeh? How bout that Calahan? Can you live with that on your concience? Heh? *Short Pause* Peter: You gonna eat that stapler? Calahan: uh you can't eat a spapler.. Peter: Wanna split it?
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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V |
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10-16-2003, 08:51 PM
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#82 (permalink) |
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Banned
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Meg:How are we going to get up there, Dad smeared grease on the pole
Chris: Dont worry Meg, we studied levers in class, you just have to pivot at the point at the weight counter balances the fulcrum *Chris runs head first into the pole and falls unconcious* |
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10-17-2003, 12:38 PM
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#83 (permalink) |
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Go Cardinals
Location: St. Louis/Cincinnati
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News Anchors are always great:
And now we go live to Diane being a bitch, Diane.
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Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department. Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity. |
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10-17-2003, 06:27 PM
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#84 (permalink) |
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Something like that..
Location: Oreygun.
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Peter to this 'leafer' that is in his bar - Is your refridgerator running? Because if it is, i bet its running just like you... VERY homosexually!
I died when I heard that.
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"Eventually I became too sexy for my gym membership fee." |
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10-18-2003, 04:54 PM
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#85 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: Louisiana
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girl: oh death oh..
car rockin.. car stops.. death: man, not again.. im gonna be a virgin forever.. *pause* .. or will i.. car rocks.. heh still laugh at that one..
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It means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resoultely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It is the law a war wizard lives by, or he dies. |
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10-19-2003, 01:05 AM
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#86 (permalink) |
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Banned?
Location: Artic Tundra
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Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."
Brian: Oh, please, Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs. Meg & Peter: *gasp* Brian: Too soon? Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence... gotta get me some of that." Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle. Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team! Brian: What the hell are you talking about?
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Spinach in Need is Spinach Indeed |
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10-19-2003, 03:10 PM
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#88 (permalink) |
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Go Cardinals
Location: St. Louis/Cincinnati
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Tom Tucker: In other news, an accident caused the Quahog cable television transmitter to be knocked out, which will prevent broadcasting to the entire city. Actually, no can hear this, so it doesn't really matter what I say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'm going to get drunk and beat up some hookers. How about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people. Director: Uh, guys, we're still on in Boston
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Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department. Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity. |
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10-19-2003, 08:55 PM
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#90 (permalink) |
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Baltimoron
Location: Beeeeeautiful Bel Air, MD
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Peter: "Lois, it's time for you to start living like the Pieceofschmidt you are."
Lois: "That's PEWTERschmidt."
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"Final thought: I just rented Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Frankly, it was the worst sports movie I've ever seen." --Peter Schmuck, The (Baltimore) Sun |
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10-21-2003, 07:55 AM
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#95 (permalink) |
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is a shoggoth
Location: LA
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episode 15 season 3. The "special olimpics" one
peter: "just don't forget our deal lois, I sit through this and later tonight I get anal" Lois: (looks over) peter: "you hear me, no matter how neat I want the house, you have to clean it."
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Use the star one and you'll be fighting off the old ones with your bare hands -A Shoggoth on the Roof |
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10-21-2003, 07:08 PM
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#96 (permalink) |
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Swashbuckling
Location: Iowa...sometimes
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Family Guy Opening Lyrics
There are two words in the opening lyrics of Family Guy that I don't understand, or maybe it's the same words twice.
It seems to day, that all you see.....etc, ("{[ SOMETHING ]}") is the Family GuuuuyY! ("{[ SOMETHING ]}") is the man who, possitivly can do... etc! little help? |
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10-21-2003, 08:27 PM
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#97 (permalink) |
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Tilted F*ckhead
Location: New Jersey
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After being kicked in the shin, Peter says, "Ssssss ahhhhh. Ssssss ahhhhh. Ssssss ahhhhh. Ssssss ahhhhh. Ssssss ahhhhh. Ssssss ahhhhh." over and over again for about 3 mins. Its a 'you had to be there' moment, but I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that.
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10-21-2003, 08:43 PM
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#98 (permalink) | |
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Insane
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Re: Family Guy Opening Lyrics
Quote:
Luckily there's a man who, possitively can do... at least I think so. 
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Censorship and thought control can only exist in secrecy and darkness... |
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10-21-2003, 09:49 PM
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#99 (permalink) | |
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Friend
Location: New Mexico
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Quote:
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“If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again.” - Bill O'Reilly "This is my United States of Whateva!" |
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10-22-2003, 09:39 PM
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#100 (permalink) |
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It's All About The Ass!!
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
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Can't believe no ones said anything about this one... Meg visits a college....Stewie walks off by himself & runs into some young women sitting under a tree I don't know it exactly but sumthin like
Girls: Hi there cutie. Have you thought about joining a Fraternity? Stewie: Yes actually I was thinking about joining I Phelta Thi And of course the Ass pinata and Brian saying "I sure hope candy comes out of that" is just classic material right there. Asta!!
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"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project  It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!  - Asta!!
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10-22-2003, 10:29 PM
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#101 (permalink) |
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Tilted
Location: My own private world
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(Brian speaking as Stewie)
Brian: "I’m a pompous little antichrist who will probably abandon my plans for world domination when I grow up and fall in love with a rough trick named Jim." Didn't see this one listed already. It has to be my fave.
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What the damn |
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10-23-2003, 11:15 AM
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#103 (permalink) |
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Insane
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Don't know if it was posted so sorry ahead of time if it was
Peter: What do they call you a Snausage? Brian: Good one Peter where you up all night thinking of that one? Peter: Nah I got to bed around 2-2:30!! FRIGGIN HILARIOUS BEST SHOW EVER SO HAPPY THEY ARE DOING A MOVIE CANNOT WAIT!! BRING IT BACK TO TV!! |
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10-23-2003, 12:41 PM
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#104 (permalink) | |
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Tilted F*ckhead
Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
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05-21-2004, 11:30 AM
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#105 (permalink) |
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Something like that..
Location: Oreygun.
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Mario: Erica, you know I love you, but I gotta come clean...
Mario: I'm not really a man, I'm a woman! Erica: OMG joo a wooman!? Mario: Well actually, I'm not really a woman, I'm a horse! Erica: OMG joo a hoorse? Mario: Actually, I'm not really a horse, I'm a broom!
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"Eventually I became too sexy for my gym membership fee." |
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05-21-2004, 01:05 PM
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#107 (permalink) |
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Inspired by the mind's eye.
Location: Between the darkness and the light.
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Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World. ____________________ Lois: Peter I’m sure you would have been a great mother if you had the chance. Peter: You think so? Lois: I know so. [Lois leaves, Peter picks up Stewie from the crib, opens his shirt and places Stewie’s mouth on his nipple. Stewie begins sucking then realizes there’s something wrong and wakes up. Stewie pulls a hair out of his mouth and looks up at Peter before cringing in horror over sucking Peter’s nipple.] I have never laughed harder than when I first saw that scene. ________________ Stewie: Oh Mother, I come bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint, it’s in my diaper and it’s not a toaster. _________________ Peter: Oh. My God, that reminds me I’ve got to give myself a breast exam. Uh-oh, uh-oh, a lump, oh god, OH GOD! Nope, Cheeto. [Peter walks away eating the cheeto.] _________________ Quagmire: Don’t worry Lois, I’d do everything to you. Lois: What? Quagmire: I’d do anything for you. _________________ Peter speaking to a crowd of black people: I’d like to say a couple of truths to the men in this audience. It’s your fault we have so much crime in this country and it’s your fault we have so much violence in this country. You are ruining our society and you should be ashamed. [Cut to Peter being chased through the streets by a mob angry black people.]
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Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions. |
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05-21-2004, 01:48 PM
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#108 (permalink) |
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Junkie
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Owing a favor to the mafia don, Peter meets him and says:
"What are you gonna make me do, whack a guy, off a guy, whack off a guy? Cause I'm married." And after being told all he has to do is take the Don's nephew to a movie: "Wait a second. Which movie? Cause if it's anything with Greg Kinnear, you can just whack me off right now."
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"Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head |
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05-21-2004, 04:14 PM
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#110 (permalink) |
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Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe.
Location: UCSB
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Funny but horrible:
Peter: This is just like my other family [shows a ranch in the desert] [inside the house Peter is in hippy cloths talking to Charlie Manson and his followers] Peter: I got invited to a party at Sharon Tates house, you can come but you can't embarrasse me. My other favorite is. Lois: Peter your acting like a child. Peter: Yeah Lois, well if I'm a child you know what that makes you?. That makes you a pedofile Lois and I refuse to be insulted by a pervert. [Peter slams door while leaving] And. [Stewie has a bully tied up in his room] Lois: What's going on down here? Stewie: Oh, we're playing house. Lois: That boy's all tied up. Stewie: Roman Polanski's house
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I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect. Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum: "Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt." Last edited by nanofever; 05-21-2004 at 04:16 PM.. |
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05-22-2004, 09:52 PM
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#112 (permalink) |
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you can't see me
Location: Illinois
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Quagmire and Lois are on a date when Lois and Peter are separated.
Waiter: Here's your table, sir. Quagmire: Thank you waiter. Could we get some drinks? Waiter: Certainly Mr. Quagmire. The usual: A martini for you and a Ruphi Colada for your date?
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That's right - I'm a guy in a suit eating a Blizzard. F U. |
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05-23-2004, 12:05 AM
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#113 (permalink) |
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Comment or else!!
Location: Home sweet home
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from "A very special Family Guy freakin' Christmas"
Peter: Aww Crap! Since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from?" Brian: I think they had a meeting about it last night. Peter: Why wasn't I told? Brian: They sent you a card but it says "For Peter" in it so you must have thought it was from you so you didn't uh...you know it's just easier to call you "stupid." -------------------------- Stewie: Damn you! Vile woman!!
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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens. Last edited by KellyC; 05-23-2004 at 03:05 PM.. |
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05-24-2004, 11:29 PM
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#116 (permalink) | |
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Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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Quote:
HAHAHAHA..... It's so much fun when I'm the only good lip reader around! :-D
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
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05-25-2004, 07:33 AM
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#117 (permalink) | |
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Paladin of the Palate
Location: Redneckville, NC
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Quaugmire <sp?>: "911? Yeah, it's Quaugmire. Yeah, it's stuck in a window this time. Yeah, thanks."
I love that one, I yell it on the kitchen line all the time. Also the song stewie sings when he joins the banjo band in "To Live and Die In Dixie" I *LOVE* this song!
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Quote:
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05-25-2004, 07:47 AM
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#118 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: the hills of aquafina.
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Setup: Stewie is saying "a few words" after burying Brian's mom in eposide 20.
"Yea and God said to Abraham, ''You will kill your son Isaac.'' And Abraham said, ''I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone.'' And God said ''Oh, I'm sorry.. is this better? Check... Check... Check... Jerry pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here.'' Stewie
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"The problem with quick and dirty, as some people have said, is that the dirty remains long after the quick has been forgotten" - Steve McConnell |
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05-25-2004, 07:51 AM
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#119 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: the hills of aquafina.
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Stewie: Augh! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Brian: I'm cleaning myself. Stewie: You were clean fifteen minutes ago, now you're just on vacation.
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"The problem with quick and dirty, as some people have said, is that the dirty remains long after the quick has been forgotten" - Steve McConnell |
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05-25-2004, 07:55 AM
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#120 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: the hills of aquafina.
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Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.
Greatest...show...ever.
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"The problem with quick and dirty, as some people have said, is that the dirty remains long after the quick has been forgotten" - Steve McConnell |
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