FuglyStick

Eden scoffs at the idea that Sara Jessica Parker has ever been hot. I sez she was bangin' in Honeymoon in Vegas. What say you, TFP?


Pole forthcum...
uh, poll forthcoming.

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uncle phil

lest i repeat myself, i'd hit it...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

FuglyStick

Actually, I'm just pimping out Eden's pecker.

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LordEden

You know I picked the third option just to see if the continuous loop could reset the space/time continuum.

I'll still wouldn't hit it. Well, if I could duck tape her mouth shut.... and feed her... and pull her hair back. Maybe.

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Xerxys

I'd hit it!

The_Jazz

I'm tempted to shut down this thread for the obvious bestiality connotation.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

rahl

bangin body, butter face.

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Manic_Skafe

face of a horse + body of a twelve year old = no thanks

Your dick is safe with me, Eden.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

FuglyStick

"I'll keep it in a cigar box on the nightstand."

---------- Post added at 05:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:14 PM ----------

I imagine Destro playing the tune in the video.

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Manic_Skafe

I bet that'd be like storing a pin in a 55 gallon drum.

Not that horse-faced SJP would deserve it but has anyone actually confirmed hobbits come fully equipped with man junk? I've seen plenty of troll dolls and not a single one was packin'.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

FuglyStick

I hope he's got a pecker. I've already taken the security deposits for the rentals and blown it at the track (the money, not the pecker).

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Xerxys

Plan9

In the words of Lester Garcia: "Sheah rayht!" She's pretty much the most repulsive woman ever. I'd rather fuck Large Marge from Peewee's Big Adventure.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

FuglyStick

Xerx, that's an awful picture. Definitely using a stunt cock there.

In fact, Honeymoon in Vegas is the only thing I've seen SJP in that caused a rumble in my nethers.

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Baraka_Guru

Okay, hot, yes...but....

Not my usual kind of hot.

I gotta ask: out of all the Jessicas out there---Alba, Biel, Simpson...hell, even Lange----why Sarah Jessica Parker?

Don't get me started on Sara(h)s.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Fremen

Sarah Jessica Parker used to be on my "hit-it" list, especially when I was a young teen in the 80's and saw her in a little known movie called "Somewhere, Tomorrow".
She, or a voice double, sang a song in the movie that made me want to do naughty things to her. (or as naughty as my teen mind could conjure up)

Next, I saw her in "Footloose" and "Flight of the Navigator", which heightened the lust factor.

Unfortunately, my love waned, and she went on to do "Sex and the Shitty".

As for "Honeymoon in Vegas", I don't recall what she looked like in that, but I remember not liking the film.

Now, she's too whiny and shrill, and her horsey countenance is too much for my refined tastes.

/who am I kidding, I'd still give Eden's left testicle for the chance to ride the beast

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Baraka_Guru

I briefly had a crush on SJP's SanDeE* in L.A. Story.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

LordEden

Hey there is only so much of my neither regions to go around and I don't want to waste them on SJP's horseface. I agree with Jazz, the bestiality in this thread is sickening.

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Punk.of.Ages

The face, dude...

This girl has never made my nether regions tingle in any way.

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"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Baraka_Guru

I don't get people's objections over her face. It's a face with strong features. Does that intimidate you? I'd hate to hear what you think about Cate Blanchett and Uma Thurman.

My objections are mainly that she's a bit too skinny.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

CinnamonGirl

Oh, yes. Very fully equipped



I can't look at SJP anymore without seeing Carrie Bradshaw, who isn't sexy to me at all. No, sir, I would not hit it.

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"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Plan9

Dude, she looks like a teenage boy.

She's too short and skinny, has no hips/ass/tits and the face of a stereotypical cartoon Halloween witch.

Ratty heroin addict look works for ya? Or is it the albino Ethiopian with horrible clashing outfits?

Cate Blanchett is kinda in the same boat but doesn't look as nasty. But I'd bang Uma Thurman like a M202.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

That's what I'm sayin'. I was just being polite about it.

This is an exaggeration. She has the face of cartoon Halloween witch after a makeover.

You watch your mouth, sir!

I'd flame assault her shoulder weapon!

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Cynthetiq

I don't think she's pretty at all.

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Plan9

I love that you love you Wikipedia.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Gee, you'd think she looks like Ann Coulter or Tori Spelling or something.

I'm sorry if I don't buy into your preconceived notions of beauty.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

God damnit, Baraka. I was just about to start a women-that-look-like-cartoon-witches thread.

- Sarah Jessica Parker
- Ann Coulter
- Tori Spelling
- Boy George
... and MORE.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Paris Hilton

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Janet Reno

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

FuglyStick

I'd do her.






In the butt.

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LordEden

Man I wouldn't fuck Paris Hilton with Fugly's dick and Crompstar pushing on the gas.

"I'm giving her all she's got captain!"

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FuglyStick

I'm starting to get the feeling that I don't have the most discriminating penis.

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LordEden

Dude, I haven't heard you once say "Man, even *I* wouldn't hit that!"

You are the bar that low standards are set upon.

Somehow you drug my dick into this too. After a night of hard drinking in college, I may have been sailed on the love boat Pequod, but even *I* wouldn't fuck SJP.

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

The_Jazz

Dearest Fugly,

I congratulate you on taking this long in your life to come to that particular realization. And thank god that womankind has discerning taste.

Your ever-humble servant,

Jazz

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Baraka_Guru

Penises don't discriminate; they inseminate.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Yeah, but the man attached to it has to keep the old Penetron 4000 inflated. No easy feat in this thread.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

FuglyStick

My penis is sticking it's tongue out at all of you.

__________________
AZIZ! LIGHT!

Xerxys

Cheesus ... talk about mens locker room banter ...



... drunken men.

Plan9

When have you ever been in a locker room, Xerxys? Or are you referring to Porky's?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

The_Jazz

9er, don't ruin Xerxys' fantasy about being in a room full of drunken men. It's what sustains him.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo