Celebrities you'd like to stab
 

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I question if they're really celebrities, but I'll add Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag.
Both are extreme db's.

I'd also like to stab Dennis Rodman and Donald Trump. (and Trump's hair, just to be sure.)

As the karma police? OJ Simpson.

i would like to repeatedly stab tiffany "new york" pollard and her batshit crazy mother. actually, most of the vh1 reality show folks could do with a good stabbing.

woods - what do you have against joaquin phoenix? i'm not gay, but he is so dreamy, and so indie.

I'd like to stab Charlize Theron with my penis. Repeatedly.

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Coz condoms are cheaper than bullets, right? Technically, that makes you cheap, not a lover. ;)

Charlize Theron pisses me off because she's a South African who no longer speaks like a South African. She throws in some Afrikaans when she's interviewed over here just so please the masses and keep folk thinking she's 'one of us'.

I'd do her in the butt.

The only "celebrity" I'd personally stab in the neck is Vicky Guererro. I think I'd be doing the world a favour.
http://content7.flixster.com/photo/1...635289_tml.jpg

Paris Hilton

Perez Hilton

Ashton Kutcher

It's too cruel to post. I'll be hated for sure if I elaborate. :o

Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8. The kids watch that sometimes, and I hate listening to her constantly correct her husband. Especially when he spent a long time in the kitchen one night making a special dinner. She went on and on about how worried she was it would be edible.

ahahaha I noticed you went back and put Mary Murphy in your list Woods.

I love that show, but she annoys the fuck out of me. Seriously, she's got the horse face and the scream of a drugged up humpback whale. I wish Mia Michaels would just punch her in the teeth.

stab seems a bit strong. i don't care enough to bother....but if others feel more strongly, i would reinforce first amongst the most annoying of celebrity bottom-feeders the impossibly vacant spenser pratt and heidi montag. at first i thought maybe, just maybe notice to the creepy flesh-colored beard would impact on that particular juggernaut of stupid, but no.

lou dobbs.
most of the previous presidential administration.
alan greenspan
the new york yankees

no you wouldnt, I cant stand him either

I second Kate....that woman annoys the fuck out of me

My list...Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt (the ONLY likable thing they ever did was Interview with a Vampire...and funny they did that together lol) Russell Crowe

Im sure I'll think of more later

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I cant stand Mia....she may be an awesome choreographer, but she annoys me

I could certainly get behind this.

I don't like Mia either, but she's the only one badass enough to do the stabbing.

Tim Armstrong of Rancid...

He just really pisses me off.

Do Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, and Rush Limbaugh count as celebs? I wouldn't want to stab them necessarily, but maybe just bring George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Ronald Reagan back to life and let the zombie presidents scream at the idiot talking heads for a while about how wrong they are about literally everything.

Hey!! You have no idea if those late presidents are dijon mustard fans.

Actually I originally included her, but it wouldn't load for a while for some reason.
I loathe the woman. Did you ever see last season when she actually did dance? She fucking sucked. She wouldn't have made the choreography if she was auditioning for the damn show. Even though I watch it alone, I constantly scream at the tv for her to 'SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Regarding Mia, she also gets on my nerves. But not half as bad as Mary. And mohawk woman needs to be sedated.
Ok. Well I can't stand his fucking deformed ass lip. If he were hit in the face with a shovel, I'm certain it'd be an improvement.

My god, you're so sensible... even with homicide.

I concur, but their last couple of albums have been really good. Indestructible is a catchy sellout jingle masterpiece!

I don't like how Armstrong got all gangsta punk, though.

Jimmy Falon
Matt Groening
Dick Cheney
Rush Limbaugh
Michael Moore
that jackass Jared from the subway commercials

Anyone involved with:
Meteorology
Journalism
The Hills
American Idol
Any reality show ever (except maybe future weapons and survivor man)



I'll add more people as I remember them.

I'd like to hate-crime the shit out of Ant and Mencia.

Nancy Grace
Angelina Jolie
Tom Cruise
George Stephanopolous
Brooke Shields
Anyone who uses the phrase "Branjelina" on the news
Nancy Grace
Dennis Rodman
Carmen Whatzherface
Tawny Kitane
Dave Coulier
Okay, the entire cast of Full House...
Carlos Mencia
Carnie Wilson
Dog the Bounty Hunter

i'm in a pissy mood today... I could stab a lot of people.

Well, I've never been a huge Rancid fan in the first place. ...And Out Come the Wolves was pretty good, and Let's Go was alright, but the rest is pretty much shit in my opinion.

Tim just pisses me off with his intense levels of selling out. The whole gangsta' punk thing included.

As long as we're on the subject of hypocritical musicians with no self respect, I'll add Tom Gabel of Against Me! as another who could use a good knifing.

oh FUCK YES!!

Oh, of course, Nancy Grace.

THANK YOU!! I've been complaining about her since season 1 of the show and finally it's all coming to the top on the media about how she's simply mean as hell to her husband. I've hated her since day 1 (my wife watches it!!).

Stabbing's too good for Nancy Grace.

I'm thinking chased naked by rabid dogs across a frozen Siberian river in April when the ice is starting to move. Ah, and with a butt plug with feathers on the back end inserted firmly into her anus. And maybe handcuffed to Howie Mandel.

Why are you thinking about Nancy Grace naked? :expressionless:

Because it would inflict maximum physical and mental pain on her.

If I wanted to turn it sexual, I'd picture her fully clothed but deep throating Long Dong Silver while someone held a plastic bag over her head from the nose up.

Not, uh, that I think about these sorts of things.

Not a celebrity by any stretch of the imagination, but

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I have to agree about the Progressive lady. Lately those commercials are trying waaay too hard to make us like her.

I see. And how does that make you feel?
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Tila Tequila for not choosing Danni in season one of A Shot At Love. Just in the boob though, where she's armor plated, so I'm sure she'd survive. Incidentally, I have a weakness for trashy TV (and overprocessed pop music) the way some people have a weakness for cheap beer...I enjoy it for what it is, and don't expect it to be anything it's not. I watch reality TV the way I'd go to an experimental art gallery...not "Ooo Jenni is such a bitch!" but "Ooo, the writers are making Jenni look like a bitch...I bet they're planning to have her redeem herself in like three episodes!" Is it too elitist to say that I meta-enjoy it?

I don't actually have strong feelings about any other celebrities. If I don't enjoy the things that they appear in, I exercise my right not to watch them, and I find celebrity gossip shows and magazines to be a waste of my limited time.

Put another way: I care about actors as much as I care about puppets...the writers and directors are typically way more interesting, why don't people care about them?

There are some celebs who I find repulsive, but none I find so hateful that I would pay the price of their blood on my hands.

I wouldnt mind getting a bit rough with a woman beater like Chris Brown, but I wouldnt want to knife him.

Nancy Grace warranted stabbing twice.
If I hear "Tot Mom" out loud one more time in my life, I will likely freak. the. fuck. out.

I'm not necessarily stabbing people to kill them. Stabbing with the intention of causing a disruption in his or her life, an annoyance (or in the case of Nancy Grace), just enough pain to get them to shut the hell up and get out of the limelight is enough for me. I wouldn't go to jail for a celeb.

I actually find this Progressive chick quite attractive...

I have such a girl crush on her.....

Indubitably!

And here I thought I was in the minority.

Her quirkiness just gets me going!

I want to throw acid in her face.
You're all sick.

you're just now figuring that out?

Come on! She's sooooooo annoying!

I had a good first impression of you but now........ *shakes head*

The Progressive girl?

Pfft, in the words of Jinn... "I'd hit that."

yeah, with a bat

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lol

And then have my way with her...

Monica Seles....if only to stop her grunt......oh wait thats been done

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The problem with the Progressive girl is at first they unintentionally had a half quirky, half serious commercial that came out that got better than expected results. Then they simply ran it into the ground and made her full on quirky/nerdy and now it's just nerve grating annoyance. They took a good thing and ran it into the ground. Over and over and over and over.

isn't that what every marketing genius does??

Yes. :(

Aw, c'mon...Flo?

I want Flo. :suave:

Ah...so do several others, I see. :D

Me? Alexis Denisof. For obvious reasons.

I have never found anyone so annoying in all my life.

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I've never laughed at anything he's done.

Isn't this the kind of thread that leads to visits from the Secret Service?

We'll stab them too...

lol

I still quote stuff he did 30 years ago....

I gotta say, 90% of the names listed here I never heard of.

I love Gallagher! That man's brand of comedy can brighten the worst of days for me.

Don't [stab] me, bro.

...

I'm a big Gallagher fan, too. He's like Robin Williams with a hammer.

I think you'd stab me first...

I'm not as paranoid/prepared as you, man.

I don't get you people.

First the obnoxious Progressive girl. Now Gallagher.

I like Progressive instead of Geico because they have a better ad campaign. And I don't even watch ads. (I do see some when watching live TV during sports or news sometimes).

I wouldn't care is Mark Cuban and Seth Rogen weren't around anymore. And that Borat guy (whoever it is that plays him and the stupid 'comedy' routine he does)

Sidebar: Who gives a damn about their ad campaign? It's all about the $$$ I'm shelling out for something life-changing that may or may not happen.

...

Tiny lizard versus brunette ditz w/ WAY too much lip-paint? Gecko may be better for drunken conversation, but the brunette is better for drunken debauchery. Either way... I think anything that is related to something as horribly played out as car insurance should be stabbed. Just once.

Not stab, but certainly poke.

Add me to the list of Flo fans.

I didn't know her name is Flo...

Cute name =)

Is it cutting its wrist?

Yer doing it wrong.

yes

I've yet to find a smiley going down the street.

If it's killing itself, wouldn't it be called a "frowny"?! =p

Ok, now you're just getting all technical on me.

You know, I read this, stopped and thought...and I just don't think I give a damn enough about any celebrities who annoy me to stab them. I just ignore them......after all, they're just celebrities.

Also, I want Flo sucking my cock. She's a hottie. It's funny, because my wife knows it, and the commercials now make her hot too, because she knows what I'm thinking about whenever one comes on.

those fat rubbery red lips ?

Pity she wouldn't be able to shut the fuck up long enough to get the job done.

Joaquin Phoenix? Why?

Stab might be a little extreme but I'd sure like to bitch slap;

Paris Hilton
Lindsey Lohan
Zak Efron
Nicole Ritchie
Jennifer Garth
Michael Vic (ok, I do think I'd like to stab him, or at least cut off his feet)
Tori Spelling
Jane Fonda
Beyonce
Kate Hudson
Demi Moore (Striptease? Really?)

There are many more, but that is just all I can think of now.

Dick Cheney.

because he's a retarded little ass wipe bitch, love to see him beaten up.

I found it very amusing that on her show Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler won't even mention Spencer / Heidi any more - she just refers to them as "Herpes Simplex 1" and "Herpes Simplex 2."

On her cue, E! Network now has a poll for anyone visiting their website - you can vote to have E! never mention the two of them ever again on their shows.

Please go vote now!

Should E! Be a Speidi-Free Zone? You Make the Call - E! Online

Unfortunately, we can't vote to stab them, but at least we can make them go away from at least one TV channel.

.:thumbsup:

Updated: It worked!!!! The E! Network is now officially Speidi-Free!!
The Prattfall: You Decided—E!’s Officially Speidi-Free - E! Online

There are many, but I would start with David Caruso and Rush Limbaugh.

And since I now know her name thanks to TFP, Mary Murphy.

I also can't stand:

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I'm pretty sure it started with Footloose.

Vin Diesel. Every time I go out on a date with a girl... they make the, "Ooo, I'd totally fuck him" comment that kills my libido.

I see Nancy Grace is at the top of the list. This pleases me greatly.

I wouldn't stab Nancy Grace. I'd beat her to death with the still-warm corpse of an irresponsible young mother.

That Weather Channel guy, looked at me funny, through the television screen,
this morning:

He must die.

if there is such a thing as karma, Nancy Grace's kids will be kidnapped and some other harpy will get really rich off of covering it on TV

After Tori Spelling:
Please add Kim (Gigantic Ass) Kardasian and her obnoxious mother.

Why does anyone care WTF they do or buy or add botox to....?

Ann Coulter

Keith Olbermann
Rush Limbaugh
Everybody on Fox News
Michael Moore
Billy Mays
Nancy Grace
Paris Hilton
Derek Jeter
A-Rod
Kobe Bryant
Ann Coulter
Tom Brady
Philip Rivers

Yes, I got blasted with a baking soda commercial last night when I was almost asleep.
I really wanted to hurt Billy Mayes.

I agree in Billy Mays

I would've agreed about a month ago, but I've been watching his series called "Pitchmen" (on one of the learning channels), and you see a whole new side to him. I actually like him now.
I still cringe sometimes at the over-loud voice, though.

Well, we can scratch Billy Mays from the list - he was just found dead in his home.

What is wrong with you guys, that Progressive bitch is so annoying. I would so stab her. I would also stab all the actresses in Sex in the City. Also everyone in Shaun of the Dead.
Mandy Moore and all those other singers that want to act.
And of course Nancy Grace

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Yes he has to go too

michael jackson

Who wants to stab Ed and Shaun?! Tooo The Winnnnchesssstaaaaaahhhhhh!

I wonder if anyone from this thread will be getting a knock at their door? ;)

*adds DaniGirl to 'Friends.'*

Don't lie. You'd totally hit it too...

nick cannon

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spencer pratt

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sarah silverman

Kathy Griffin

Billy Zane,Mario van Peebles are on top of my shit list.