Willravel

Okay, so pick a movie or two and recast the main characters with other actors. The idea is to create a different story by bringing people with different strengths to the roles we all know and love. I'll start!

The Matrix:
Neo: Stephanie Jacobsen
Trinity: James McAvoy
Morpheus: Jimmy Smits
Smith: Cliff Curtis
My thought is that the Matrix suffered from cliche gender and race roles. The main character is a white male, the female lead and love interest is white, the mystical character is black and the bad guy is white? Comon. The role of Neo was made for someone with the quiet intensity and bold presence of Stephanie Jacobsen, best known for her roles on BSG: Razor and Sarah Connor Chronicles. Not to mention she's positively gorgeous.

Trinity as a man feels a bit more natural, especially with the range that James McAvoy brings to the table. I'm just guessing, but I think McAvoy and Jacobsen would have absolutely incredible chemistry.

Morpheus suffered from what I've heard called the "mystical negro" problem: black people are often relegated to this position because writers don't understand how to write a character that's black. When I think a very strong lead with unparallelled presence but also the physicality to do wirework, I think Jimmy Smits. He's one of my favorite actors and really demonstrated something special this last season on Dexter, not to mention his roles on NYPD Blue and West Wing. I'd be willing to bet he could bring the religious undertones with fury and passion.

Smith was a bit of a thing. Like the other roles, Weaving did an incredible job, really brining character to the roll that I don't know if anyone can match. Still, I imagine a different Smith in the form of Cliff Curtis (Whale Rider, Traffic, Sunshine). Not only is this actor versatile, but he has an element of style that I think would morph the roll into something a bit more playful. Moreover, the actor is big and has demonstrated being very intimidating, which is something quite different from what Weaving brought to the character.

Altogether, this would have made Matrix a bit less cookie-cutter. I'm still really glad they didn't go with Will Smith. "Awwwww hellll naaawwww...."

Alright, your turn!

levite

Thank God! Great poser, and do I ever have an answer!!

Lord of the Rings

I wrote my college thesis on Tolkein, and I love Lord of the Rings second only to the Torah. I hated the movies with a deep and abiding passion. I myself could have written a better set of screenplays based on those books. People actually occasionally accuse me of resembling Peter Jackson, which I take deep offense at, because if I ever meet him, I will hand him his ass. A couple of his casting choices were okay, they were just grossly misdirected and given poor dialogue; as for the rest, it should've been cast as follows:

Frodo: Ewan MacGregor
Sam: Damian Lewis
Merry: Jude Law
Pippin: Heath Ledger
Bilbo: Ian Holm
Gandalf: Ian McKellan
Tom Bombadil: Gerard Butler
Aragorn: Daniel Day-Lewis
Elrond: Jeremy Irons
Arwen: Catherine Zeta-Jones
Boromir: Ralph Fiennes
Legolas: Orlando Bloom
Gimli: Brian Blessed
Galadriel: Cate Blanchett
Treebeard (voice): James Earl Jones
Eomer: Hugh Jackman
Wormtongue: Johnny Depp
Eowyn: Kate Winslet
Theoden: Patrick Stewart
Saruman: Christopher Lee
Faramir:Joseph Fiennes
Gollum/Smeagol: Alan Cumming
Denethor: Ben Kingsley
Farmer Cotton: Robbie Coltrane


Or at least something close to that. Tolkein's work needs serious, quality actors, with a serious, quality director. Kenneth Branagh should've directed it, or someone with the same flair for taking the essence of English lyricism and translating it into cinema. And certainly not some hack who would cast fucking Elijah Wood as Frodo, and turn a great, self-sacrificing hero into a damn pussy.....

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Charlatan

You can't seriously be suggesting that Bombadil should have been in the film. He's the first thing that should be cut from *any* screenplay. Also, I know it's a dream cast but you also just added between 50 to 100 million to the production budget with that cast (maybe more).

Fault Jackson for the scripts and the films (I know I do) but the casting was pretty excellent.

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- Old Man Luedecke

Willravel

Depp as Wormtongue?! That's waaay outside the box, awesome!

Ananas

Great question! I'll have to think on this some more, but:

1. I like Will's idea of recasting Matrix, but can't say I agree with his choices. McAvoy is great, but I'm still trying (in my mind) to dress him in shiny black neoprene. I'd seriously consider Chiwetel Ejiofor (Talk To Me, Inside Man, Children of Men, American Gangster, Kinky Boots) as Trinity.

2. LOR: Daniel Day-Lewis as Aragorn? No way, just can't see it. First of all, too skinny for the warrior type role, although he played a good frontiersman in Last of the Mohicans. I just can't think of anyone else for this part -- Viggo did OK.

Instead of Fiennes as Boromir, I would now cast Daniel Craig in this role (with lifts in his boots, of course). Sean Bean was already typecast as the "bad" guy and the role of Boromir needed someone without a known quality. Boromir deserved better treatment (in books and film).

I'd not like to see Catherine Zeta-Jones in anything, thank you. Anne Hathaway has the right look...

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Willravel

Great choice!!! Chiwetel Ejiofor is one of my favorite actors. And you forgot Serenity, a movie in which he plays an assassin of religious devotion, but more importantly wears a leather outfit:

Ananas

Oh yes! How could I have forgotten that film?!! Add a little spit shine to that outfit and he'd be good to go.

PS: Have you seen him in Kinky Boots?

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Willravel

I have, he's excellent in it (as is Joel Edgerton).

Ananas

Great acting there.

About your "mystical Negro" theory, would you say the same applies to the Oracle?

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Willravel

Yes, I'm afraid so. Still, I think the worst example is Will Smith in Bagger Vance.

Ananas

Hmmm...I'll give that some more thought. Perhaps Glenn Close as the Oracle would have discarded that mythical negro idea. Bagger Vance was just an awful movie.

I've always wanted to replace Harrison Ford as the lead in Bladerunner, but can't come up with anyone suitable. Any thoughts?

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Willravel

Edward James Olmos. He stole every scene in Blade Runner as Gaff. He'd own as Deckard.

Ananas

eh. True, he stole the whole damn movie, but if he had played Deckard, who would you cast as Gaff? (I think your BSG partisanship is showing ).
It would have to be someone with the same abilities -- sly, knowing, flat stare...

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Willravel

Giancarlo Giannini would have brought a completely different dimension to the character. He was outstanding as Mathis in the Bond reboots.

biznatch

Maybe Gary Oldman would have made a great Agent Smith. I have absolutely no problem with Weaving's portrayal, though.


I also agree that Tom Bombadil could not have been in the movie, I would have hated every second of his singing. In fact, I'd often skip right over the songs in the trilogy when I read it.

Oh, and Tarantino should have stayed the fuck out of Pulp Fiction, everytime I see him in there it makes me cringe; his acting really was that bad.

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Ananas

^ Yep. Spike Lee should stay the hell out of his movies too.

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Willravel

Alright, time for another!

Star Wars Prequels:
Qui-gon Gin: Ken Watanabe
Obi Wan: Hugh Dancy
Amedala: Morena Baccarin
Teen/20s Anakin: Emile Hirsch
Mace Windu: Djimon Hounsou
Senator/Chancelor/Emperor Papletine: aww who am I kidding, it's gotta be Ian McDiarmid
Original story by: George Lucas
Written by: URL=http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0744839/]Eric Roth[/URL]

Just so we're clear, Ewan McGreggor and Natalie Portman were both perfect for their roles, as was Ian McDiarmid (and now that I think of it, Liam Neeson, too). I just recast them so I could recast the parts that needed it, namely Anakin and Mace.

Hayden Christensen really was nothing more than a pretty face, and that always frustrated me because this was the defining role of the saga: Anakin/Darth. It was necessary to bring as much talent and ability to the table as is possible for someone of that age, but instead they went with a kid with absolutely zero presence and absolutely zero acting ability. It's a shame, too, because had they cast a talented young actor like Emile Hirsch (fantastic in "Into the Wild") it would have given the second trilogy a much better foundation.

And let's face it, Sam Jackson can have all the coolness in the world; he can't act for shit. The few times he was good—Pulp Fiction, Die Hard 3—he was leaning on the script so heavily it was difficult to tell where the script ended and he started. Where would Jules have been without "Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing." or "I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker!"? Nowhere. And that was all Tarantino. No, when you have a serious role, you need a serious actor. The one and only name that should have been mentioned for Mace was Djimon "GIVE US FREE!" Hounsou. He's one of the best actors on the planet, and he has the presence that can give the character of Mace the credibility as a warrior and a thinker that's necessary. First off, he's tall and in fantastic shape, he's able to pull off very difficult physical roles (Gladiator, Blood Diamond) and he's able to steal a scene from some of the best actors alive (he stole a scene from under Anthony Hopkins in Amistad!). Let me put it this way: imagine Samuel L. Jackson is running at you with a light saber. Now imagine Djimon Hounsou is running at you with a light saber. I rest my case.

As for the writing, I think a lot of people would agree with me here. George Lucas can come up with some damned entertaining stories. His original concepts for Star Wars were a fantastic combination of ancient lore and classic storytelling, and it reached people on a visceral level. That's Lucas' strong suit. His strong suit is not screenplays, and it's absolutely, positively not dialogue. His dialogue is among the worst in the history of entertainment. "Anakin, you're breaking my heart!" To quote the Robot Devil, "You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!" Lucas needs guidance from an experienced and proven writer, so that his general story can be adapted to a thrilling, complex, and well dialogue'd screenplay. Eric Roth is a favorite of mine, having penned Forest Gump, The Insider, Munich, and recently The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Just think of what Purvis did with the James Bond franchise.

Baraka_Guru

Okay, I'll play.

The Wizard of Oz

Dakota Fanning ... Dorothy Gale
Christopher Walken ... Professor Marvel / The Gatekeeper / The Carriage Driver / The Guard Who Cries / The Wizard of Oz
Ed Norton ... Hunk / The Scarecrow
Mickey Rourke ... Zeke / The Cowardly Lion
Nathan Fillion ... Hickory / The Tin Man
Beyonce ... Glinda, the Good Witch
Helena Bonham-Carter ... Elmira Gulch / The Wicked Witch of the West / The Wicked Witch of the East

The obvious question will be whether some of these guys will be able to pull off the singing and dancing. I don't see why not. Actors have been trained for some pretty incredible things for films, and many actors do already have song and dance backgrounds.

I'm not 100% satisfied with my decisions, so I'm open to suggestions. I think this is a good start, however.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Willravel

Ha! Rourke really would make a good lion. He'd sign a few autographs and try and build a relationship with his estranged cubs.

Nathan Fillion's an interesting choice for the Tin Man. Any particular reason?

Baraka_Guru

The thing with these roles is that much of it is body language and movement, especially in the face. For some reason, could see Fillion pulling off a charming Tin Man. He has that combination of charm and rigidity. He isn't the best actor, but the way he carries himself and delivers his lines I think would convert well into the Tin Man.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Willravel

I'd love to see Capitan Mal playing the Tin Man, now that I think of it.

And again!
Spider-man:
Peter Parker: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Mary Jane: Bryce Dallas Howard
Aunt May: Maggie Smith
Uncle Ben: Stan Lee
Harry Osborn: Ryan Gosling
Norman Osborn: David Strathairn
Flash Thompson: Chris Evans

First off, Toby McGuire isn't much of an actor. Sorry, but he really isn't. He worked in pictures like Plesantville mostly because the roll asked for an awkward guy that looks surprised a lot. If you're casting a roll as monumental as Parker/Spider-man, you need raw talent. Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("10 Things I Hate About You", "Manic", "Brick", "Shadowboxer", "Stop-Loss") has the experience in acting and the ability to pull off one of the biggest roles out there.

Bryce Dallas Howard is really, really hot. And a very, very capable actress. I like Dunst, don't get me wrong, but she's not classically beautiful in a way that can pass as a popular model. And she always seemed like she was phoning in the role, especially in the last movie (not that I blame her). In order for Spiderman to work, you need a cast that loves their job. You need devotion. You need passion. Bryce Dallas Howard was outstanding in the Village, an otherwise subpar film. She didn't just make the film watchable, she made the film great. Better still, she's a natural redhead.

I first saw Maggie Smith in Hook, and she was the quintessential mother/grandmother. She's sweet, she's old but she's aged quite gracefully, and she's got the acting chops most actors couldn't earn in three lifetimes. And it would be perfectly fitting for Stan Lee to make the jump from cameo to serious roll for his greatest creation. He's said the line, "With great power comes great responsibility" so many times, he has it down to an art. IIRC, he's about the same age as Maggie Smith.

Looking past the fact that even a level 1 comic book nerd knows that the Green Goblin has no business being in the first Spiderman movie, the Osborns needed to be a bit more serious and a bit less cheek-bony. James Franco can act, he was great in Milk, but for whatever reason he was too cool for school when he took the roll of Harry Osborn. He was either passive and light or he was waaay overplaying his brooding. Ryan Gosling was going to end up in one of my recastings because of Lars and the Real Girl, and this seems to be the best fit, especially with dramatic powerhouse David Strathairn playing his father, Norman Osborn.

Lastly, Flash Thompson was supposed to be Peter Parker's arch nemesis, to match his superhero persona's more colorful rouges gallery. That's not a bit part, or at least it shouldn't be. There needs to be legitimate torment, there needs to be hatred, there needs to be jealousy, there needs to be that spark that we've seen with the great bullies in film. That requires an actor. Chris Evans was outstanding in Sunshine, he totally took me by surprise.

KellyC

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Peter Parker. Interesting choice. I would LOVE to see him as Spider-Man. He'll need to bulk up a lot though. Not to thread jack or anything but I'm seeing a surprising resemblance of Heath Ledger in him.

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Charlatan

Norman Osborn: David Strathairn

Great actor but his physical presence, IMO, is too slight for that role.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Willravel

A friend of mine told me of a time when he met David Strathairn once and was struck completely unable to speak. Such is the presence of Strathairn!

Sex and the City:
Carrie: Taye Diggs
Samantha: Jason Winston George
Charlotte: Richard T. Jones
Miranda: Omar Epps

Do I have a black thing?