Thoughts on engagement rings
 

OK, so I was having coffee today and overheard a conversation on a cell phone. The girl was talking about one of her friend's upcoming engagement. She said that her friend was going to be disappointed because the ring was less than 2 Karats and she said she wouldn't accept anything less. I have known some girls who have refused a ring because it was too small, the wrong cut, etc. This has always amazed me, but of course I don't buy into the engagement ring thing. I don't have one and wanted it that way. Why do I need an expensive ring as a promise? I knew that he wanted to marry me and that was enough. I have a nice wedding band that I view as a symbol of our marriage. However, I suppose some people feel that this is unnecessary too. If you have trust then a piece of jewelry is not needed could be a view.

Anyway, my questions are:
Why are some women so picky about an engagement ring?
What do you think the purpose of the ring is?
Has anyone ever refused a ring and made the guy take it back?

I am not judging anyone because it is a personal preference, just curious about other people's opinions and feelings.

its well known around here what I think about people like that lol

my e-ring (when we finally buy it) will be 80 dollars...and its not a diamond, I cant stand them. I would MUCH rather take that kind of money and do something useful with it...like buy a new bedroom suite or do something to improve my house. I see NO point in that much money just sitting around on my hand serving no purpose.

My engagement ring was a family heirloom on his side, so it is a diamond. I like diamonds but there is no way hell I would even be that picky about the ring a man gave me. I mean what is wrong with these women?? Do they not know/care about the real meaning behind the event?

When I was engaged to a different man several years ago he gave me this teenie tiny diamond. I remember how happy I was to get it and we both cried together about him giving it to me. I was so proud to be engaged that I didn't give a shit about the size.

That is of course how I also feel about the ring my husband gave me, it means even more because his grandmother (who I never got to meet) wore it.

there is def a big difference in my book on heirloom e-rings :)

Nikki, I think that if the ring is passed down through the family then it has a whole other meaning. That would be more special than a store bought ring.

I intend on getting my love a pretty ring. He likes man jewlery. A lot. He always puts on his pretty things before he goes out, and I put up with it.

He's also a writer. One of his characters has this ring that helps sustain him, and I'd like to get Simon a ring that is how he invisions the one that Artemis wears.

It's not important for it to be expensive and huge and all of that. I want to get Simon one that he dreams of. I figure that he's worth the money.

Welll I think some women are picky about their ring because they'll wear it for the rest of their life. You want to get a style, cut and setting that you like.

As for the purpose, well, to me its a silent marker or love/commitment. Like a friendship bracelet or something. I'm sure there's some historical stuff to back it up but that's what it is to me.

And I think if a guy ever had a girl want to trade up for a bigger ring, he should take it back for good. Sounds a little too much like an early stage of Bridezilla. ;)

somewhere on here is a story i posted about a girl on the wedding board Im on....

her FATHER didnt like the ring and went and bought another one for 20k and so very kindly set up a payment plan for the fiance to pay him back for it.

Yikes! I think that if I were that guy I would have run as fast I could. In-laws are tough enough without the blatant "You aren't good enough for my daughter" ring.

wow, i think thats pretty ridiculous of the girl. you should be so lucky to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. ring or no ring you are still committed to that person for the rest of your life. although its nice to outwardly show that you belong to someone, its definitely not necessary and its silly to set susch high standards. that girl on the cell phone should be smacked up side the head.

I think it is ridiculous as well.

I have only a few stipulations- get me something you like. That way, I will know you put some thought into it.

Don't get it from Wal-Mart, Target, or KMart. Once again, I want this to be something you put some thought and effort into, not something you get on a bargain or while buying groceries.

I want either a ruby or a red star ruby. Nothing too fancy. And nothing unaffordable. Just something that I can look at and see how much love and thought and care was put into it. And silver or white gold.

because you have to wear it the rest of your life, or most people do ;)


a symbol, nothing more, nothing less.

I have heard that some women have, but that's just horrible . . . honestly, you're marrying a PERSON, not the ring! how shallow some women get is beyond me. :(

My engagement ring initially was very very small. And it was merely a symbol . . . my husband surprised me with a 1.5 carat ring after we had been married for a few years, bought a house and could afford it.

bottom line: I would have married my husband with no ring, if he had been homeless and peniless, because i love WHO HE IS, not the material items he's attatched too.

Sweetpea

I could go for the e-ring, because it's something to sort of "prove" that he's really serious. he's willing to put in that investment. Not that I wouldn't marry him if he didn't get a ring. It's just nice to she it off to the other ladies and stake your claim. ;)

I'm kinda picky aobut what I want, but more about how it will look and feel, rather than how expensive/big it is. I actually don't really want a jewel, because I have a tendency to fidget so i would totally mess around with it. I also need something strong that isn't going to bend like gold does, cause I'm a big freakin' klutz. I catch rings on doorjams ALL the time, and I actually bent my mother's promise ring from her first husband. So, yeah. But I talk about it whenever the subject comes up, even other people's e-rings (I've never been known for my subtlety) so I don't think I would ever be unhappy with what my future fiance gets. :)

I never had one. Actually, I was never officially engaged! My husband (from whom I'm separated) were together for a long time, had a couple of kids, and then decided to get married! So no rock for this little black duck....

My first fiance had gotten me an e-ring. It was pretty and simple 1/3 of a carat. Although, I gave the ring back when I broke it off.

My husband did not get me an engagement ring or even propose. I walked out of the kitchen one day carrying grilled-cheese sandwiches, handed them to him and said, "you're gonna marry me." I was half-joking but he said okay. Hee hee.

My wedding ring in another thing altogether. My husband took all my old jewelry and melted down the gold and made our wedding rings. I'm so glad he did benchwork at a jewelers as a part-time job. So, I guess it's all what really matters to the person as to what they want.

Our wedding rings (picture doesn't scan well):

http://mirror.bolt.com/uploads/7/9/4...2rQ2sWWo6i.jpg

OK, so I was reading through my smut this morning getting my celebrity gossip fix and Tommy Lee proposed to Pamela Anderson again. She got a black diamond with gray diamonds on either side (very unique). Anyway, she 'said' that she never cared about an e-ring because the bigger the rock the more insecure he is about his cock. Nice little rhyme there.
I don't think that I buy that idea, but your thoughts...

Well now that ring will match the bruises he gives her. She is a smart one!

My engagement ring was a simple white gold with a small blue topaz. It's a good thing it only cost a couple of hundred dollars, as I don't wear it unless it matches my outfit.

My wedding ring, a plain gold band, never leaves my finger.

I could never connect to the big fancy "white wedding" type of ceremony and spending enough money to buy a car of put a down payment on a house on it.

Could be.

However, I'm of the general view that few things in life are necessary ..
most of it is just wants and desires .. and those are as many and varied as there are people.



nfi on other women, no desire to speculate either.
I can, however, speak for myself.
I am a generally particular type of person, and I place perhaps a bit too much value on aesthetics.

I have not been near enough to a proper engagement to really consider it ... alls I know is that I'd want something platinum and diamond, but it does certainly not have to cost 20K.
I can think of a bajillion other things to spend that much money on. Rather, even.
But, I still want something ... that 'fits'. something that matches well with my aesthetic preferences (and to know that that was taken into consideration, sucessfully, would mean a fair bit to me).

The purpose .. is to symolise the love.
I don't see it so much as about 'promise', really.

more i think about it, it would kinda make more sense, in the way I think about things, to have the wedding ring be the bling and the engagement ring to be more 'simple'.
In other words, reverse how it is.
perhaps if I ever reach engagement stage, i'll bring this up ...

most importantly, is that whatever the couple does, both of them are totally happy with it.

if they can't get this part right, well ....

(I know, my opinion doesn't sound much romantic ...)

never known anyone to return a ring, or whatever ... never had too many female friends.
edit for elaboration: refusing a ring, because of the ring, would be lame. If I was a guy, I'd be quite likely to break off the engagement at that point.
And, if the female wants to refuse the ring ... well, what I said about getting this part right applies here.

I don't understand the uproar about size/carat/type of cut, etc. I didn't even have a ring when we got married; I got mine about four months later. I guess what I believe is the ring is the symbol of the love, not the size of the mans wallet.

Personally, given that DeBeers not only uses slave labor to get the diamonds, but stockpiles them in warehouses so to artifically drive up the prices, I'm appaled that ANY woman wants a diamond anywhere near her finger. Especially now that synthetic diamonds are virtually identical to natural diamonds. I can buy a five carat synthetic diamond that looks, glitters, and cuts glass just like a nautral diamond for thirty dollars.

(ps- this has been my opnion, and only my opnion, so please refrain from flaming me like a charred hamburger at a family reunion. That is all.)

I agree Sage, I mean how in the hell would the average person know if the diamond I was wearing was fake or real. Only I know.

I know my diamond has nothing to do with DeBeers. It was hand picked by a little Jewish jeweler in Buffalo NY sometime around 1930ish or so. I am not exactly sure of that date and the husband is sleeping otherwise I would ask him:)

Anyway, not all diamonds come from there. However I do agree about the synthetic ones looking pretty damn good.

Sage, I have tried to explain that exact sentiment to other women before, but they all get a glazed look in their eyes and wander off. I am glad to see that someone else has the same mind frame that I have.

Diamonique looks just as good, and isn't corrupt. Please pardon my spelling.

Plus, I think that if a diamond is over a certain size many people assume that it is fake. I would never want a huge rock on my finger that was real. I would be terrified someone would mug me. It would be like a flashing light. Plus, I think they look pretty gawdy. But that is my opinion. Also, I don't like diamonds much. I think that they are too plain, but I guess it is a status symbol or something.

I used to think that the engagement ring was a telling sign of the relationship; the size of the stone and the cost were important to me.

Then I got engaged. My ring is gorgeous, but my fiance didn't need to charge it to a credit card or buy it on a payment plan. It's modest, and it's perfect.....

If the ring is really that important to someone, then the person asking isn't important enough.
Just my 2 cents.

I agree but as special as that is, even a passed down ring was bought at a store at one time. You never know, maybe the one my husband bought me will one day be worn by my grandchild or something. (That's scary seeing as how Im only 24 right now. LOL)

I would never take something back that my hubby bought for me. Mainly because I know he puts thought into the things he buys me.
One time while his mother and I were talking about rings I said that I always loved rings with a diamond in the middle and a smaller one on each side. Well when he bought my ring he bought me a simple diamond. I LOVED IT. It was beautiful. He said he didn't want to buy me something I wouldn't like so he went with something simple. Then for our first year anniversary he let me pick out a wrap to go with it. Now when you look at my hand it looks like a diamond in the center with diamonds on each side. What I had always wanted!

i also agree with sage. also, since woman in the congo region are being gang raped repeatedly i think it would be against women's rights to purchase diamonds from the debeer's company. personally, i don't even want to have an engagement ring. I say skip it all together and go for the wedding ring :-D

I tend to view engagement rings as merely a symbol to show that you are someone elses "property", but that's just my opinion.

A ring is merely a token symbol. If the man I loved offered me nothing but a twist tie I would take it and love him none the less for it - perhaps more so. Any woman that would turn her nose up at a ring for whatever reason doesn't deserve it in the first place. You cannot judge love by the carats - it is so much more than that. A poor man may love just as deeply and desperately as a rich man....is his love to be considered not as grand because of what he can or cannot afford? I think not.

my bf would so think that you absolutely right.and you are to a certain extent and you are right again when you say its a personal preferance.

fro me my personal prferance is a diamond.now i'm one of the more reasonable chicks...even if i do say so myself.

here where i stay in south africa a one carat diamond would be like R30 000 so it can be less than that.like maybe 0.5carats or something like that.

all i want is that the diamond be round and set in white gold.now i think thats pretty reasonable, dont you?

ok, i admit that there is a bit of showing off involved but that's just a woman thing...

is it not?

Diamonds = slave labor, no diamonds for me, thanks.

Plus, who decided diamonds were rare and precious anyway? Everytime I see a DeBeers ad, I want to puke.

Oh, and about the heirloom diamond- I don't have a problem with those, because there's way more meaning behind those than some dinky diamond bought at Friedman's.

Don't ever be a jeweler- it'll ruin you for ANYONE'S jewelry :)

I'm recently married, and when we were in the ring shopping stage, I discovered that I had really expensive taste... and it had nothing to do with the size of the diamonds.

The two rings I recall really really liking were $300,000 and $5,000, respectively. The 300k ring was made of three different colored natural "fancy colored" diamonds, which apparently are quite pricey, and the 5k still makes me melt when I see it.

BUT my husband makes me melt way more than a silly ring.

After considering all the options, we decided that the most ethical thing we could come up with was recycling, so we paid $175 for an "estate ring" with a blue sapphire center stone that is close enough to making me melt.

I suppose it's a bit less romantic than being surprised, but I think ring shopping should be a joint venture. This ensures that you are both on the same page about marriage, and that all potential spouses are aware of any moneygrubbing snob tendencies, and/or poor tendencies.

Little story: I was in my bank the other day because I had some financial crap to sort out. I was being helped by this little late 20's girl- she couldn't have been more than 110 pounds; just tiny. Anyway, on her tiny finger was this huge, clear diamond ring- and it was set high enough so it stood out, and light was able to breathe all around it. Diamonds encrusted the entire band. It was utterly ridiculous. I almost felt like I had to comment on it; to tell her how beautiful it was or something... except each time I'd look into her green coloured contacts and her perfectly separated eyelashes, I just figured she already knew.

I'm living with my SO in our house, with our dogs, and have been happily together for 5 years now. My perfect wedding- flying out to Vegas or Niagara Falls and getting married quicky style by Elvis, or even better, some crazy Klingon from ST:NG. Then our families/friends would go out for a nice dinner, and for goodness sake, wear whatever you're comfy in! As for the ring- I wouldn't care if he ripped a tab from a soda pop- I'd proudly wear it... and show people, "See, here's my soda-pop ring!" LOL

How beautiful and thoughtful! Ruby also:
 

Mine's a white gold ring with a ruby and diamonds:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...nife/ring2.jpg

Pinky, that is gorgeous!
I'll take one with an aquamarine in the middle...

Not only did we get good news on the honeymoon, and I got my wedding dress ordered...we also had some extra money come in so I got to order my e-ring as well :)

Im SO psyched today

http://www.celticdesade.com/images/thistlering.jpg

it should be here in 10 days

Shani, please stop, you are killing me here. :crazy:
You are too lucky to have so many things going well for you. Congratulations! :thumbsup:

PS Love the ring!

the luck will prob stop tonite...I finally got my MOH to agree to sit down and discuss stuff....after trying for 5 1/2 months!!!! Its gonna take all my willpower not to smack her

PRETTY!!!
 

That's very cool! Where are you guys going? (sorry I haven't been following)

ohh_shesus ~ Thank you! True story: The original ring had aquamarine in it! :D

That is too funny! :lol: I keep telling people I am pyschic.

I knew some girls at college like that. Roomed with one in fact. She was bragging about it's cost once when I asked why she had to have such a big one. Her theory - if he broke off the engagement she'd have something to show for it. Ug - she was one of those spoiled rich kids who cared nothing for true affection. She only wanted to flaunt the money.

Hubby and I looked at lots so he knew what styles appealed to me. He picked it out and bought it for me and never told me the cost. All I know is that it's not on a credit card that we're still paying for - that matters a lot to me.

My basic criteria for a ring were, simple - not gaudy, short/flat/not sticking out from the finger much - so that it would not catch on things, durable - I haven't taken my ring off for more than a day or two except when I've had surgery or been in the hospital. I wear it in the shower, doing dishes, scrubbing floors, and building things. My ring is not a show of money, it's a show of love and size isn't an indicator of love.

People who brag about cost or size and refuse a ring based on those things make me sick to my stomach. Then again a guy who will go along with that and buy a bigger size/more expensive ring to satisfy her - he deserves what he gets.

About the wearing it all the time- DON'T!

I was told by a jeweler- from one of the best jewelery stores here in Asheville- that you don't wear your engagement ring except when you're not doing anything with your hands, doubly so if it's set into gold. See, everything you do wears on the gold- taking a shower, doing dishes, especially sleeping (because the sheets cause friction on the ring all night). So, if you want your ring to last a long time, you're supposed to take good care of it and take it off when showering/doing dishes/sleeping/ etc.

I know - Mine does not come off easily at this point. My finger has quite an indentation on it. The engagement and wedding bands are fixed together and the bands are fairly sturdy. Someday we'll renew our vows and perhaps replace them. They are half white and half yellow gold but mixed with an alloy and not exceptionally soft gold. Besides - I'm so forgetful that I would likely loose it before it ever wore out if I took it off everytime I washed dishes or showered (which are both frequent). I am ALWAYS doing something with my hands. Sewing, cleaning, building, weeding, mowing, dishes... You name it I do it.

Hopefully, when/if it ever happens, (somebody asking me to marry them) we will go ring shopping together.
I don't care how big the diamond is. Okay, thats abit of a lie, I do want to be able to see it, and show it off a lil.. ;) But im not worried about what karat is it. I think I would be picky about what setting it had. I mean im going to be wearing this ring on my finger (for the rest of my life hopefully), I want to be able to enjoy wearing it.

Eek, Hope I don't come across as being stuck up. heh!

I want a white diamond, gold band, maybe white gold setting.. Ahh dreams are free. :)

Shani, I think your ring is totally beautiful. And congratulations!!

......Just curious, Are you Scottish? I'd love to have a similar type of ring someday.

Have fun,
hunnychile

Dave's family is scottish, Im Irish :)

and thank you...I think its beautiful too

My mother's engagement ring has been on her finger for the better part of 45 years.... for their 40th anniversary my father had it reset, just for something different, there was nothing wrong with the setting though... I can count the number of times it's been off her finger for more than 5 minutes on one hand.

As long as it's a good setting, wear should not be a problem

good thing I cant stand gold and only wear silver!!!!
:D

In related news......

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8669399/#storyContinued

I think it's interesting that a lot of you say forget about an engagement ring. I don't agree with the girls who refuse the ring because it's too small or not what they wanted but in my opinion, if the guy wants to marry you, he should know what kind of ring you want on your finger everyday for the rest of your life. That shouldn't even be an issue. I also think that engagement rings are important though. I don't see them as labeling you as someone's property. Maybe I'm just the girly girl who likes sparkly things... but I can't wait until I get my engagement ring.

engagement rings....pfffff....weddings.....pfffff.....not important at all.

I used to feel weddings werent important....thats why I didnt have one the first time I got married....15 years later I have a whole other outlook on it...and Im glad to say that I am having a "wedding" this time :)

I'm inclined to agree with tippler - that weddings are not important - a wedding has become an 'event' and the idea that it's two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together (or at least until someone better comes along) gets lost and it becomes about the flowers and the dresses and the tuxedos and what are we having for dinner and how long shoudl the cocktail hour be... (being home the past two weeks, I've caught snippets of The Today shows wedding garbage or even any of the bridal shows on the tube... that's not about the joining of lives -it's about having the biggest and the baddest wedding.

If I were to ever find someone dumb enough to marry me, the way my brother and his wife did it was perfect (I really didnt have a high opinion of my brother until he pulled this off) he and his now wife and a friend who was a minister, as well as two friends to serve as witnesses hiked up to the top of some mountain near Seattle (where he was living) on New Years Eve... and tied the knot. They told no one except the minister ahead of time... Not even the witnesses knew.

A few weeks later, they threw aparty for their friends. My m other freaked out but the pictures they had were of two people in love, sharing the moment for themselves. and 5 + years later, that love is still very evident.

Weddings are just entirely too materialistic... going to the courthouse and a party afterwards just seems more of a private, two people in love, not after the loot idea of what a wedding should represent.

Yes, I am bitter, I've been to too many weddings as a guest and as an attendant, and spent entirely too much money on wedding gifts only to have the marriage fail to beleive that a wedding is anything other thana social event where one person wears a white dress.

/I dont think my wedding is materialistic :(

Did not say yours was... watch some of those lame wedding shows on the tv.. those weddings will not make it five years because it's all about the event and not about love of another person.

I think the divorce rate is something like 60 percent now... I live in a very italian area - there are two monstrous churches within 1 mile from me... there are weddings every weekend... the weddings are the little girls dream of the fairy princess poufy dress with the 15 attendents in satin and the men looking dashing in their tuxes... These girls (they are not women) are getting their fantasy wedding -- will this marriage go the distance? Probably not - because they want the wedding not the marriage.

If weddings were simpler and less involved -- many of these 22 year old fairy princess brides would put more thought into getting married and the divorce rate would drop.

People do not often equate a wedding with til death do us part for better or worse marriage.

That's just my opinion and I admit to bitterness.

lol Dave and I watch Who's wedding is it anyway, Bridezilla's and Wedding Altered religioulsy.....mainly to laugh at them, but I have seen one or two decorating ideas that I really liked.....but like I said mainly to laugh at the obscene amounts of money these girls spend.

Dave and I just reached the 3000 mark of our 5000 budget (including the honeymoon)

I have to agree that the wedding business is a little over-healthy. If Q's family hadn't been a bit more traditional (and thus willing pay to have things be a bit more traditional), I doubt we'd have gone that route. It's a great day, but it IS one day! I was pleased that even tho I did have to have certain traditional elements, we really made the day ours. We sang to each other during the ceremony, we started the reception with a horah (sp?) even tho it wasn't a Jewish wedding, we danced down the aisle after the ceremony... little things. Just little things. :)

Those shows... man, when I was planning my wedding, I avoided them at all costs, cause those women just scare me! Those people daydream about what their wedding will be like their whole lives, before they ever meet that person... *shudder* I never did. It just didn't occur to me.

I like the minister-friend thing... we got one of our old college professors ordained so he could marry us. (I'm/he's not religious, and why would I/he want a stranger to do such a personal thing???)

i agree....we are having our best friend marry us :)

I cant say I didnt dream about my wedding....there were things I that I was sorry I didnt have the first time, since it was a courthouse affair...with no party afterwards. When my ex and I were still good we planned on a vow renewal at 10 years and there were things I def thought about wanting.....now I get them with Dave :thumbsup:

But that's different. You had met someone to have a wedding WITH. That's what I don't get about those other crazies... it's the wedding of their dreams with [insert appropriate looking and earning man here]. Ugh.

I agree, weddings are a pretty event. Lots of beautiful decorations, you looking stunning (hopefully better than you ever did before), him looking like prince charming...a huge party in your honour, it's good to have one if only for that.

I agree with mal, simple weddings that focus on the true meaning of a couple's love are far more poignant. I hate those weddings where your family invites more people than you do yourself and all they want to do is show you off...I think if I had to do that I'd scream.

But hey what girl wouldn't want the ring, the beautiful dress, the flowers, everybody fawning over you and you having a fantastic day? Even if it might be just another big party!

And good luck to you Shani, may your wedding day be only the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Simple wedding does not mean it has to be in a courthouse, lots of simple weddings are held in churches too, just like ours, Simple means (to me anyway) you dont have an over abundance of attendants....one per person works just fine for a "simple" wedding..... private does not mean a low guest count...private means only those that you truley want there, and not some friend of a friend of your boss, are there.


I can guarantee that anyone at our wedding will without a doubt know that the entire thing was about mine and dave's love for each other....and NOT about showing off, and that its the declaration of continuing a beautiful relationship that began 2 years ago.

/I think I need to not talk about wedding stuff for the rest of the day, somehow I feel on the defensive and I dont know why

(don't worry, Shani, no one would imagine you to be a Bridezilla or remotely shallow. you just provided an outlet to bitch about the ones who were/are. Just as an FYI. :P)

whew....I know I've had my days....but I've tried REAL hard not to be one...some days you just cant help it....thats when I blame PMS :thumbsup:


I just wanted to point out that "simple" doesnt always only mean wearing your church clothes to the courthouse.

I agree. Me too.
Simple was what I was going for, but my version of simple would seem gauche to some and overdone to others... as always in this sort of thing, you just have to make you and Dave happy and not be awful to others. The rest will make do. :icare:

The wedding, like the ring, is important symbolically only. It is the marriage that matters. I think it should be an opportunity for the couple to make a commitment to each other and to share that moment with family and friends.

I can remember growing up going to a dozen weddings of people I'd never met, and that my parents had only a vague connection to. My father's business partner's brother, or my mom's friend's cousin, or a partner in my uncle's law firm etc, or a distant cousin whose relationship had to be explained in terms of second cousin twice removed and so forth.

These were all big, major events, tens of thousands of dollars, dresses of several thousand, detailed discussions of the size and cut of the ring, etc.

When Grace and I were married, since it wasn't a legal ceremony, but a spiritual commitment, the courthouse wasn't really an option, though that might be how we'll do it if at some point it does become legeal.

We considered having it at Star Trek: The Experience. The wedding ceremony is on the bridge of the Enterprise, and the reception at Quark's bar, and it's really pretty reasoanble in price.

We also thought about the Church of the Reflections at Knott's Berry Farm. At the time, three years ago, it was in the middle of the park, though it's since been moved. All of the good days were booked well in advance, though, and it's fairly expensive, and it does tend to be for more elaborate setups with a lot of guests.

And given that, between us, we had one family member, Sissy, and Grace's partner from work and his wife as guests, those places might have been more expense than they were worth. So we just had the minister at our church perform a short ceremony for us and anyone from the congregation who wanted to come, which turned out to be about 20 people.

Still, the Star Trek wedding does have a lot of appeal, and it would be so cool to do that on our anniversary, or possibly when it becomes possible to make it legal.

Sissy became so enamored of the Church of the Reflections at KBF that she's decided, for now anyway, that if she has any say about it that is definitely where she wants to be married. The fact that she has no boyfriend doesn't seem to enter into the equation; in her mind, she's going to be married some day, and it will be in a church with a big poofy dress. I suppose it's partly my fault for telling her Grace and I would pay for her wedding when it comes time, within reason.

http://th-archive.com/ring.jpg

I wanted to post this but had to figure hotlinking out first....

Anyway, this is my wedding ring. It's a synthetic emerald with synthetic diamonds (I'm assuming, I know the emerald is synthetic) set into real gold...and I love it. It wasn't very expensive, about 350 dollars if I remember correctly. I love this ring; just because it was "cheap" doesn't mean that it means less to me.

(I think Daniel forgot this is the ladies lounge :lol: )

Medusa thats gorgeous!!!!

well, call me shallow but if i got a crappy ring i wouldn't wear it :P that isn't to say it has to cost 20k, but if i think it is ugly as sin, i'm not wearing it. in fact, if it cost 20k chances are i'd think it was gaudy and wouldn't wear it either lol

i don't have any real hang-ups about a ring. should i ever receive another one, all i ask is that it is simple and fits my personality and lifestyle. should i get engaged and not get a ring, that works too.

so perhaps i'm shallow in that i wouldn't wear a ring i hate--but it isn't because i'm so shallow that the ring must fit certain specifications, just shallow enough that i'd rather have no ring than something that made me cringe every time i looked at it! no need to break the bank on a ring, but if i'm not going to wear it because i don't like it, why bother spending any money on it at all?

I dont call that shallow bad jane...there is a BIG difference between it fitting your personality and it being something that you deminded because of the cost :)

I just recently got engaged and it was a big suprise to me - my boyfriend and I had gone out and looked and stones and rings and had done the whole online browsing as well, and after knowing that I liked simple bands with a round diamond - i told him the rest of it really didn't matter (which I don't think he believed) - but honestly I just kinda realized it wasn't that important and that I wanted for him to go out and pick out what he thought was the perfect ring - a couple of weeks later we are in Vegas and are first night there he up and proposes to me in Caesars Palace and I really didn't even look at the ring until about half an hour later - and he did a great job. I don't understand the girls who go out and have to have a certain kind of ring - isn't the important thing to find the right perfect kind of guy? :)

oh_shesus, to answer your questions IMHO:

<i>Why are some women so picky about an engagement ring?</i>

Most women I've spoken to have dreamed about all their LIVES what their e-ring will look like and I think when they get one that doesn't look like what they've dreamed of they feel cheated/disappointed, even if they don't mean to be.

<i>What do you think the purpose of the ring is?</i>

I think it's purpose is to solidify the fact that you're committed to getting married.

<i>Has anyone ever refused a ring and made the guy take it back?</i>

I've never heard of anyone who's ever done that. Personally, I'd never ever do that.

Well assuming I get married to my current guy (and I hope we do!) I think he would be pickier about the size of the ring, but I might be more particular about the style. We would both have to like it, of course. His family (and hence, the way he was raised) enjoys spending money on things like that (jewelry, designer handbags, etc.) as a way to show their status, I suppose. I can't say I really agree with it, but I doubt he will ever get that out of his head as he can be real stubborn at times.

His father, and the rest of the men in his family do not wear a wedding rings and therefore my guy refuses to, but he did say he would like to have one tattooed on his finger instead

Whoa, talk about a thread from the dead! I also can't believe I never responded to this thread back in 2005. What's funny is that just a few weeks after this thread started, I met my wonderful fiance :)

I insisted that I pick out my own engagement ring, and while my SO had his doubts about that at first (he was caught up in romantic notions of "it should be a surprise"--whatever), he said to a friend of ours the other night that he was glad that he had let me pick out my own ring, because ultimately he would have no idea what to pick and wouldn't have thought about all of the things I thought of. I work with small children, and I wanted something that wouldn't catch on them.

I found my ring at Costco. It was very reasonable (it actually cost less than the assessed value) and thus we were able to pay cash. It's a pretty simple ring, but the moment I saw it, I knew that was it. I think it suits me.

http://i873.photobucket.com/albums/a...0425001150.jpg

One of my fiance's aunts said it best: "You can always trade up later." It's not a good idea to buy a ring on credit and end up unable to pay the bill. Better to buy something simple at first, because once you're established and financially stable, you can always buy something flashier if you like.

Edit: As for doing dishes, I keep my ring on but I wear these: http://www.playtexproductsinc.com/gl...ing_gloves.asp