Munchkin

How many years is too many years between a man and a woman in an intimate relationship?

Why is it acceptable for a man to be 20 yrs older than the woman but not the other way around?

Ella

I don't think there's a definitive answer for this one. Whatever suits the individuals!

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"Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

Sage

Because, as so eloquently put by someone a few months ago here on TFP, when women get older they should have the "class" to stop having sex, because they are ugly and their vaginas are shriveled and dry.

/sarcasm

Mainly, near as I can figure it's because old men like to be horn dogs and chase tail until they take their last breath, and women are supposed to be meek and accepting of their husbands screwing their young, hot secetaries. My Philosophy of Sex and Gender class eventually decided that it was just another remnant of the time when men ruled the earth.

Personally, I think that if he wants it and you want it, you do it and fuck the age difference

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lurkette

Somebody actually said that?!? In seriousness?



I pity the fool. That's gonna be one unhappy mofo.

Anyhow, I think our culture is starting to move out of this pattern - the one where men can date younger women but not vice versa. The usual excuse has been that men stay fertile for all their lives but women stop being able to reproduce so they become less sexually attractive compared to younger (forgive me) breeding stock. That's total bullshit - it's evolutionarily and biologically true (and evolutionary traits take a lot more time to beat out of a species than cultural ones), but sex has been separated from reproduction for long enough that it's starting to shift to where women are refusing to "grow old gracefully" and accept the end of sex just because of the end of ovulation.

I do think that age gaps can be too large if the people involved are not mindful of...let's say developmental differences. The rule of thumb is that you should never date anyone younger than half your age plus 7. But there could be a huge developmental difference between a 24 year old and a 19 year old, just because of the formative things that go on during college years. It totally depends on the people. An immature 24 year old or a mature 19 year old could make that age gap work. A 60-year-old and a 37-year-old are going to have to deal with mortality issues. Etc.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

*Nikki*

Age is a number. Let love decide

la petite moi

In this age, I don't really see that. Most women are sticking up for themselves and/or doing what they want.

In answer to the question, who ever said it's okay for men to date younger women, but not vice versa? Frankly, I've heard from others that dating people that much older than you, whether you are a man or woman, is gross. That's my stance, as well. Sure, call it love, but dating someone that much older than you seems just a little bizarre.

SiN

eh, to each their own, i suppose.

I really have no problem with it, and i'm one of those women who's always been more attracted to younger guys.

sexually at least, .... rawr!

but, in a relationship, it's different.

as said above, developmental stages really need to be taken into consideration.

I'm in the process of extracting myself from a relationship with someone several years younger than I, and while there are many reasons I'm doing so, the conflicts that have arisen because of the age problem (and maturity level) is one of the Big Reasons why it's just not possible for it to work out long-term.

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StormBerlin

I dated a guy seven years older than me for three and half years. I would never date a younger guy. I'm not really sure why, I just think it's weird. Maybe when I'm older and the age difference isn't so apparent, that's when I would date a younger guy.

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"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

maleficent

That rule was probably created by a 44 year old making it ok to date the perpetually 29 year old... I love how there's a rule of thumb for everything Guess no one told it to Tom and Katie

I have never quite gotten the attraction of younger men...

Speaking in total generalizations here

the older guys (especially now that I am older) have a certain je ne sais quoi that the 20 somethings don't have... I'm guesing it's quiet confidence without arrogance. Though the problem with many of them, is they want the wrinkle free 20 something type. Older guys seems to have more manners than their younger counterparts do... and well I like that --plus i don't have to explain a lot of 70s and 80s references to them....

Older men/younger women.. Older women/Younger men relationships - -If it makes 'em happy - go for it -but for the long haul, I doubt it will go the distance - 20 somethigns and 40 somethings are generally at different places in their lives, and unless someone is willing to make a huge sacrafice (and why the heck should they) someone is going to be resentful.

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SiN

i think too, there's a difference between relationships and fucking.

i somehow don't totally mind some arrogance in the sack ... so long as it's backed up by something

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maleficent

Going on my experience only... and it's been a long long time so things might have changed Older guys might not "recycle' as quick as the younger guys - -but they definitely are good for going the distance and they can get the job done... (and are so appreciative of the little things -- especially if they have been previously married

To each thier own as they say... You ladies can have all the young ones you want - leave the old codgers for me -I couldn't handle the competition of y'alls anyhow

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amonkie

I find myself not willing to put up with the immaturity that comes with the mjority of the younger guys around me - they are not in the same place I am, or even going through the same mental processes. While I am by no means done evolving or learning about myself - no one ever is - there is something to be said for those who have spent more time on the journey and can admit that for some men, it takes them a good long time to catch up and learn from their mistakes and past choices. It is what adds that quiet confidence, and that is something that I find extremely appealing.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

cellophanedeity

I keep finding myself attracted to people more than twice my age.

Perhaps I have a bit of a lolita complex! (we read Lolita in my lit class, and I'm in love with my prof.. hehe)

Munchkin

I think the age difference depends greatly on the people involved, and the maturity level of each. I am of the opinion that an actual relationship can be had.

I have known 18 yr olds that are more mature and more responsible than 36 yr olds. I have also known very immature 18 yr olds.