Elusive Dreamer

My boyfriend and I were talking online (yeah i know, we're dorks) and he says this to me, out of no where:
"so are you going to spring any suprises on me the next time we're in bed?"

what does this mean?
do you think he's bored of me?

our sex is NOT routine or boring.
i never gave it a thought that he felt any differently... untill he said this.

i don't know what to think?

la petite moi

Uhm, obviously you need to have more communication with your boyfriend, for one. How long have you been dating?!

For two, he probably doesn't mean anything by it- sounds like you are just being overly sensitive. Maybe he was tipped off my your body language that you might 'spring a surprise on him." If you're truly worried, talk to HIM not the TFP.

Elusive Dreamer

um. okay?
sounds like i hit a nerve or something?

la petite moi

Nope. Just think that communication is the best thing in a relationship. People always forget about it.

lazygirl

I f my so said something like that chatting online I'd think he was justing being playful. Then I'd spring a surprise on him in bed

Squishor

Sounds to me like he might be trying to hint that he'd like to explore a little more, that's all. It doesn't have to mean anything negative about you. I'll bet there's something he wants to try and he's working up the nerve to ask. Why don't you help him out and see if you can gently get him to tell you? Maybe you could take the pressure off by incorperating it into some sort of game, like a truth or dare, or "tell your fantasy" sort of thing. It might be fun!

*Nikki*

There is nothing wrong with "talking to the TFP" about this issue.

We are here to listen and give advice, I think everyone needs to keep that in mind when they reply to a post.

Elusive Dreamer

aw, thanks a lot nikki.
i was starting to feel stupid when really, all i wanted was a little input.
i've got the situation under control, i just wanted some feedback that's all!
thank you

little_tippler

hmmm...weird. sounds like perhaps even if YOU think your sex life is interesting, he wants it to be...spicier. Maybe he feels you've fallen into a routine? Or maybe he was just playing and felt like saying that to get you feeling kinky?

either way I'd talk to him too. Don't be pushy though...or he might say you're being paranoid.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

pinkie

Perhaps he wants to take it up the pooper?

la petite moi

Nikki, I said that not out of malice, but because no one on the TFP knows what her boyfriend is thinking. The advice we give could be completely opposite of what he means by that. So, in that way, she should be talking to her boyfriend. It's the main reason why there are breakups and misunderstandings- lack of communication.

Best way to know what he wants is to talk to HIM about it.

ironmaiden7o7

I wouldn't lose sleep over what your boyfriend said, it's playful and it's something that men usually say, that doesn't mean he's bored with you, if anything, I would like to think that he likes to try new and different things, and this doesn't necessariy mean that you are not satisfying him. If it's bothering you, just ask him about it, but if I were you, I wouldn't think too much of it. Good luck with the situation.

sexymama

If it is not boring, as you say, he may enjoy the surprises you have sprung on him in the past, and is looking forward to more. I would celebrate that he can ask, rather than worry. And definitely surprise him!

Then, the next time you are chatting, ask him if he has a surprise in store for you! I think this could be a lot of fun!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

shesus

If this is true, then maybe he was just curious as to what to expect next. He might have just wanted a preview, so to say. I agree that maybe you took it too personally. I do that all the time. It is difficult to know when you are chatting on line because there is no voice inflection or facial expressions to help you out.

I would probably ask him what he had in mind and have fun.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

genuinegirly

Most likely he was making that comment in anticipation and excitement for the next time you're together: the- "Hey, that was great, what's coming next?" -mentality. I wouldn't take it as anything negative if I were you.

He also might have wanted to spice up an otherwise boring day, or get you excited about the next time as well.

If it's still bothering you by the time you're together, be sure to bring it up. Mention how it made you wonder and insecure. Ask him if he feels anything is lacking - he'll let you know.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

*Nikki*

I forgot to mention that my fiance says this to me all the time and we have a VERY healthy sex life. He just really enjoys when I take control and bring something new into the mix.

Men like stuff like that....I would surprise him and REALLY mix it up in bed!

Sweetpea

Probably just a hint to try something new. Brainstorm some ideas. Try not to worry too much . . . that has happened to me too . . . just be creative and have fun

Sweetpea

KinkyKiwi

did pinkie really say that? *blink blink*

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.