Do you like your body?
 

I was reading through another thread regarding society's lack of acceptance of fat people, and the question of how women here felt about their bodies came to mind.

Personally, I've been all over the map, but for most of my life I had intense hatred of my body. It's only been in the past 8-9 years (I'm 43) that I've come to accept, and once in a while, love my imperfections. It took a lot of work, lots of reading and affirmations, as well as quitting being a human yo-yo with my weight. I started dieting at age 9- substituting a yucky drink made from powdered something mixed with milk, for meals. So much of my self-esteem stemmed from how I looked and how others evaluated my looks, I find it sad to reflect back on how many years I wasted with body shame & hatred.

How do you feel about your body? Are you comfortable with it? Can you honestly say you love it (and kudos to you, if you can!)?
Or are you struggling with your body image - disliking, maybe hating what you see when you stand in front of the mirror?

All in all, I am very comfortable with my body. I feel that I am blessed in certain areas and could use some help in others.I believe we all can see imperfections on our body (we are females after all) and we are our biggest critics. I'm glad that you have become "friends" with your body now. Props to you.

Our imperfections make us who we are. I have never hated what I saw in the mirror however I do struggle with my body image at times because I'm not a toothpick thin gal.

Along with many people, there are certain parts of my body that I love and other parts I wish I could change. I try hard not to fight my imperfections, but rather embrace them and make the best of what I got. As women, that is all we can do. :)

I love bits of it. All of us have parts they'd want to improve, and I'm no different. I'd like to be taller, with more meat on my bones, and my ass round and beautiful, but I know there's nothing I can do to change my body. Overall, I'm happy with what I see when I look in the mirror.

i do my best to accept what i cannot change -
1. i'm short, 5 feet tall.
2. my boobs are too big and have too much skin (so they sag).
this could be changed with surgery, but that hasn't been a financial option yet. if ever it is, i will do it.
3. i wish i was a natural blonde, so i wouldnt have to keep frying my hair with bleach.
4. i wish i didn't freckle so easily.

for the most part, i've just accepted those things, i don't love them, but i can't do much about it. just kinda neutral rather than loving, i think.

the things i *can* change, like the amount of fat on my body, of course i don't accept and love.
is not for me.
i'm not saying other women should be the same.
is just we all kno inside what is our best, what is possible or not, what we can be happy with.
is a personal decision.

Body image is of course a huge issue with women. I go back and forth all the time. Sometimes I see about twenty different things I wish I could change, other days I'm perfectly happy. For the most part, its very mental. My goal is to get past what the media drills into your head as the perfect image, and accept and love what you have. Its hard, but we can do it! :)

I am quite happy with the way I look. Just like everyone elce, there are things I would change if I could, naturally. I am quite short (5') and would give anything to be even just a few inches taller but it's not something I boo hoo about. I've been lucky weight-wise, it's never been an issue with me although after bearing two kids I wouldn't mind having my old boobies back! :)
I had a bad accident years ago which not only taught me the importance of just appreciating life but myself, too. I always had a very poor image of myself before the accident, never happy with the way I looked even though I was in awesome shape. After the accident I realized what matters, health, loved ones...I instantly became comfortable with myself and my attitude became "if you don't like the way I look, don't look!". It's so hard on us ladies too with the media pressure to always look great, be slim, be toned. It's unrealistic pressures put upon most ladies when we really should be more concerned with the inside, rather than the outside.

LOADED question for me... and i've decided not to bore you with my long and often self-indulgent thoughts regarding my body...

suffice it to say this:

i spent over 15 years of my lost lost in the hell of an eating disorder.

the cause behind an eating disorder is complex and ultimately rooted in a feeling of loss of control over one's life.

that said... i also place heavy "blame" on the media, and societal expectations of how women should look. my family was very accepting of all body types and images... it was the constant bombardment from television, movies, magazines, billboards, etc. etc. that seemed to slowly "eat away" at my self perception and acceptance.

i say this because i am still bothered by what i consider a lack a "true respresentation" of the female form in America today. HELL, models & photographers admit that the "real person" is rarely captured as 90% of the images out there are "enhanced" through airbrushing and computer enchancements.

i pray for the day when all young women, with "average" B-cup breasts. full hips, and the like can look in the mirror --- and instead of comparing themselves to the super models, and feeling shame... can feel proud of the beautiful body that nature created... exactly as it should be.

*kicking my soap box back under the desk*... sorry for the rant ladies... told you it was a loaded subject for me...

I hate to sound vain, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I love being me. No complaints.

it's not vain... it's wonderful... everyone should feel that way about their body *smile*

I am starting to like mine better every day.

Yes and no.
I know that I can't change my poor breastfeeding-changed breasts, so I'm learning to deal with that, I don't exactly like it, but *shrug*
If I stand up straight and look at my body in the mirror, it's not that bad. It's not how I plan on looking in a year, or 5 years, but it's my body and I'm (for the most part) proud of how it got to be the way it is. 3 children does not do wonders for a figure, and I have to say, I've come out of it better than I would have expected.

I wish I weighed less - it would be healthier for me. I'm not really into looking like those toothpick-thin models you see on magazine covers.

My eating habits SUCK. If I could kick the junk food/candy/snacks monkey off my back I'd lose the weight easy!

And once I lose the weight I can have my breast reduced - and paid for by my insurance! The weight of these puppies causes me back pain and posture problems (hunced back).

But overall - I'm ok with me! :)

I wish I were about 20 lbs thinner...but most of us would like to change our weight slightly, either up or down. *shrugs* Oh well...my boyfriend thinks I'm sexy and that contributes a lot to my self image. :)

Overall, I really can't complain.

I'm quite happy with who I am. I used to have issues with my body, but what adolescent girl doesn't? I am healthy, and real, and ME.

Thank you ladies, for your replies. It isn't always easy to speak honestly of how we feel about our bodies. In reading through everyone's posts, then looking again at my original question/comments, I realize that I sound as if I love my body every day. I dont. I still have the occasional bad day when I have the body hatred thing going. When it does happen, I try to figure out what's *really*getting me down.

It's a daily challenge, but it's heartening to hear that most of us are at least trying to keep a healthy perspective and are doing what we can to resist buying into the impossible Barbie-like ideal of what a woman *should* look like.

I've gained 20 lbs since high school, didn't realize it was so much until just recently. I've started working out recently, and once I lose all or most of that weight, I'll be content with my body. It's never gonna look like the skinny-little thangs in Hollywood, etc, but I'm glad I have curves.

I'm a freckled size 12, and damn proud of it. I like my curves, although I'm currently trying to tone up. And hey, I have a great rack. So I'm basically comfortable in my body, although I could use a little trimming and toning.

I am pretty satisfied with the way my body looks. Except my breasts could be a little bigger, i'm slightly out of proportion :) as soon as i have the money...

Almost Paradise... you are made exactly the way nature intended...
being "out of proportion" is a current phase in the ever flowing American trends on how women "should look"...
i read somewhere recently that "smaller breasts" are becoming more "in fashion"... and that some models and the like are getting their current implants replaced with smaller ones...

geeez... it just seems to sad to me that women are running to have further surgeries just to keep up with fashion trends...

i'm not trying to make a value judgement here... it it's what you really want... then i say go for it!...
i just hope for the day when more of us can be happy with what we are given naturally...

personally, I hate mine.

i definitely have a love/hate relationship with my body ... maybe it's because i gain and lose weight pretty fast. i don't know.

sigh... no No matter how hard I try all I see when I look in the mirror is imperfections and uglyness :(

uptown... *soft smile*... i wish i had a "magic pill" to give you... or even some insightful words of wisdom...
and even if i did... i would feel like the the blind leading the blind as i have struggled with with the very same my entire life...

slowly but surely, over time, i can say that i have felt an improvement.
motherhood, marriage, and just an overall understanding of what is "real" versus my perceptions of what i "should be" has helped...

your statement brought a lump to my throat and a felt like a someone shoved a stick in my gut...
too many of us feel this way... and it incenses me beyond words... somehow, it's up to us women to change the "model"... and to quit allowing a handful or ego-centric clothing designers, advertising execs, pubescent porn-hound men and the like, dictate how we "should" look and/or feel about ourselves.

not sure how we're going to do that yet... but i'm hopeful.

thanks for being so honest and sharing... *warm smile*... and welcome...

I'm always been mostly satisfied with my body. I have had a high metabolism which is slowing down I can tell. I didn't even own a weight scale until I was 27. I only concerned myself with how I felt physically. When I had my daughter I gained 60 lbs and my ankles disappeared from extra water. I had a c-section and nursed my daughter for almost 3 years. All that changed me a lot. I have had biopsies for Melanoma and have to use sunscreen to protect my fair skin. I rarely get much of a tan because of that. I have made many accomplishments in my life. I graduated from college. My daughter it beautiful and healthy and (I think lol) a genius. I'm happy with my abilities and my health. I would by no means make it as a model but when I look in the mirror I'm happy. Even with the scars and stretch marks and my breasts which have completely relocated themselves in the last 3 years. I know who I am and what I can do and I feel good physically. If I was skinny as a model and felt too weak to carry my 32 lbs daughter when she's sick I would hate it. I'm able, I'm healthy, I'm woman, hear me roar. :)

*broad smile*... now THAT"s the kind of response i was hoping for!

thank you raeanna :)

I second that! What a great attitude!

*shrug* I've been too heavy and too skinny in my life.. I didn't really like myself as either but it was more about what was making me that way than my actual body.

I am now comfortable with my body,but it has taken me about 8 years to finally accept my weight and size.My ex-husband made me feel that anything I ate would make me fat,where as my husband whom I have been with for the last 8 years loves my body and makes me feel wanted.The point am I am making is accept yourself for who you are and not how society thinks we should look like.

I used to hate my body until I saw a woman at the gym who was SUPER skinny and I thought "I hate her" (thinking of course that I wanted to look like her) and then I saw her t-shirt - she was a cancer survivor. I had this "whoa!" moment - why do I hate my body just because it doesn't look like some pretty arbitrary standard, instead of loving it because it's healthy and mine all mine, and gets me where I want to go? Why am I so obsessed with looking good instead of just grateful to be healthy? Why am I judging other people the way I DON'T want to be judged? How are my own hangups getting in the way of being compassionate to other people and to myself?

Since then I've been a lot more gentle with myself - I try to exercise because it's good for me and makes me feel good, I try to eat enough healthy food to take care of myself, and enough chocolate to make me happy.

I still have moments when I really wish I looked different - taller, thinner, bigger boobs, smaller thighs, whatever - but then I go look at Boticelli, and Twiggy, and Marilyn Monroe, and Marie Antoinette, and realize that there are all kinds of beautiful, and what's considered beautiful at any given time is pretty damned arbitrary. So why shouldn't I be my own definition of beautiful?

Life's too short to spend so much time trying to be something else. Women used to have to wear corsets. Now our bodies are expected to be their own corsets! I'd rather eat good bread.

We all have our moments...
 

Sometimes I am happy with myself and other times I am not. I am happy with who I am on the inside, but the feelings of obeisity really wear me down.

I think at 21 and 260 lbs.. this is the most I have weighed in my life. I constantly say I need to do something about it.. but I can't motivate myself. Sometimes I consider joining the military just so I can go back to the rigorous daily routines of getting in shape and having that person there motivating.... I am just a lazy person. I have gotten too comfortable with myself, yet I still yearn to look and feel better.

I don't have esteem-issues, but I do have a problem motivating myself. Telling myself what is right... should I choose to put that butter on the bread? or should I go without?

With things like heart problems, diabetes, clogged arteries, and various fat/sugar causing diseases that run in my family one would think that would motivate me.

I am just scared now. Even the dietician couldn't help me. But anymore I know I'm attractive, but when I look in the mirror I just get so disappointed.

I suppose when someone else in my family dies maybe then I will be motivated? who knows.

miked10270,

I'm glad that you are comfortable with your self/body and that you have a man that appreciates that beauty comes in all sizes.

You put a lot into that last, succinct sentence as well. So very true.

I don't like my body because I am to fat....But I have a beautiful personality and face....

lurkette,

You made some really great points in your post, and since you obviously speak from the heart, they resonate all the more.


Thank you!

I agree with you.... I may not like my body but I am beautiful as a person....

Re: We all have our moments...
 

Blue Bongo,

I'm sorry that your are feeling worn down by your feelings about your body.

Feeling unhealthy can't be an easy place to be to be.

It's hard to get motivated, plus it's hard to stay motivated. One needs to be driven by fear...or vanity... it must be something bigger than you, telling you when you want to skip a workout, that it will do harm... and that after getting through the workout you will feel stronger, more toned, confident about your body, your strength.

When you decide to give taking care of your self/body another try,
forget about the weight-loss part, and enjoy how wonderful your body feels when you treat it well. Start moving more, and everything will follow.

Divine69,

You expressed a lot in your one sentence:

I'm hoping you'll add some more to your comment.
Would you describe yourself as a fat woman with a beautiful face & personality?

i want to say thank you all for being so real and so open with this thread... i do believe that the healing that is to be found... will come mostly from us women... and the ability to share and suppport each other in this issue that dictates how so many of us feel about ourselves and live our lives...

thanks to you awesome women!

Do you know what is really good for body image? Belly dancing. I love my belly dance class. The more you have to shimmy and shake, the better.

My instructors are both middle-aged women. Neither is conventionally beautiful, but one of them has the most perfect female hips - she's not skinny but they accentuate her waist and are just shaped in a way that says "I'm a woman!!!" And both of them are just so comfortable with their bodies. That's the best part about belly dance, is getting to know your body and all of its parts and how to move and use each part of you. I have never felt so sexy as when I'm belly dancing. I'm not worried about how my body looks, I'm just thinking about moving this particular muscle, or moving my hips just so. Very liberating.

After recently deciding I had to make a life change or risk death from medical problems, I like myself once more. Ive gone on a diet that im comfy with,an exercise routine that is fun for me and I look forward to everyday, and the "new" me is emerging..and ive started a list of things i would like to do for me as a reward(tattoo,hair lightening just to name a few)I also once again feel sexy,have confidence in myself when im out in public,and lots of energy.and my day starts with a smile.. So,YES, I now love my body and myself again!wooohooo!! :crazy: :D the best part: my hubby has always thought i was sexy !

I am fine with my body for the most part, but beacause I eat so much crap I can't complain :)
Not to say that I wouldn't love a flat stomach!!;)

Isn't that the best? ;) no matter HOW we look, we're loved.

I have the stereotype model type body. I'm 5'9 and 130-135. I have always been confortable about it. I've always been insecure about my breasts though. They're average size - 36B. I feel lucky for what I have but it doesn't help when you have people telling you you are too small, this and that. I hate how other peoples opinions have the potential to change the way I think about myself.
I feel like I should work out. I am not at all happy with the health of my body. What flesh I do have is fatty tissue. I want some muscle but thats just due to my laziness.
I'm only 18 so I know I'm going to be in for some disappointment as it deteriorates. I think it is harder to lose something you are proud of rather than to never have been proud in the first place.

I hate my body:( Although in the past year I have lost about 60 pounds so I guess I like my body more than I did a year ago but I still see so many things that I hate and want to change and I still need to lose about about 20 pounds. I need a flatter stomach although I need to work more on that. There are things that I can't change like being really short. But that doesn't bother me so much.
So I guess I like my body more than I used to.
Amethyst

I have to say that I am one of those women who probably overreact about my appearance. I at one time was 115 pds. after taking birth control pills 6 to 8 months later I was up to 170 pds! The part I hate besides being a lot bigger now is the fact that people assume that since I don't work now (my husband wants to take care of me and our future kids so that im lucky enough to be a stay at home mom) people assume that i lay around and eat bon bons all day aka Peggy Bundy! The only thing that keeps me from stressing about it is my wonderful husband telling me several times a day how beautiful i am and how much he loves me!

i'm 115 lbs and i dont like my body. heh. well for the most part i'm fine with it i suppose. but wish i had a flat stomach and better tone.

Congrats, Amethyst! You should be very proud of your accomplishment!

I don't think anybody "needs" a flatter stomach :) but I sympathize. Do you also see many things that you love exactly the way they are?

erm...depends on how you define 'need'.

purely subjective. :)

of course, you made sure to phrase it as such, to make it clear it is only your opinion. ;)

For the most part, I'm satisfied with my body. There are some love handles and a little bulge that just can't seem to be worked off. My thighs are a bit bigger than I'd like and my boobs aren't the same size. But I'm healthy and in good shape, I live in a safe neighborhood, I have a good education, I have parents that support everything I do, I have a sister with whom I can talk about anything, I have a brother who will do anything to hang out with me, I have a loving boyfriend that finds me sexy, I have great friends that care about me, I have a cat and a dog that offer friendship and loyalty, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food whenever I want it. So when I look at all this, some love handles and uneven boobs really don't seem to matter.

i don't -hate- my body.

i put on a total of 70 pounds over 5 years due to medications, and it's just starting to drop off now. 40 pounds down, 35 to go.

like many other people, there are a lot of things i wish i could change, but it generally doesn't occur to me... or at least, it isn't on my mind, until someone else makes me conscious of it.

on another forum i read, there's an enormous amount of fat-bashing, which is hard to swallow after a while. i get really bothered by hearing 'all fat people are lazy,' and 'if you're above a size 8, you're too big.'

i guess what i'm disjointedly saying is that i don't really think about my body too much. i really only notice it when it looks particularly good, which i like, of course, but also when someone else makes me feel badly about it.

so if i could change anything, i don't think it would be anything physical, because i'm doing okay with that on my own - 30 pounds lost since january - but rather i'd change the fact that i can be so sensetive to what other people say about my body or my body type in general, because it throws me off track in terms of reaching my goals.

I used to love my body but I gained a bunch of weight in the last 3 years. everyone tells me I still look fine but you know how society has made it so that girls can only think they are attractive if they are 3 lbs above organ failure.

Other boards fat-bash a lot which upsets me because most of the people doing it are girls which seem to be anorexic. Their favorite thing to do is yell at people when they disagree with them and tell them they must be fat and ugly not to agree with such "cute, skinny" girls! And people wonder why women have such horrible eating disorders!

What a healthy attitude! Thanks for putting this out there.

I don't like my body. I've gained some weight in the last three years and now I'm very self conscience about myself. I'm used to being a size 3-5, and now I'm--well, we won't talk about that. I'm working on it though, but it's really hard--especially right now, b/c I am in Amsterdam!!!

I'd have to blame the cruelty of early adolescence (mainly grade school through highschool) for all the insecurities that I have about my body. I'd probably be less self-conscious of myself if no one made a big deal about my ears, my nose, my eyes, my chest, my butt, or my height. I find it easier to accept my body when others reinforce the notion that I'm not some freak of nature. If someone else thinks it's okay, it sort of counters whatever superficial criticism anyone else has to say about it; and I'm thankful that there are people who find me attractive, because as much as I'd hate to admit it, the opinions of others matter to me enough that I need it to feel reassured that there is nothing wrong with me. :)

I'm just glad that I'm no longer a teenager, heh.

I am not very secure about my body. One of my guy friends commented on time he couldn't understand how such a confident person can feel like that just about how they looked. I am very confident about myself on the inside which is normally fine. But I have always been the "skinny" one in the family and when I ever put on a little weight I feel like I don't belong.

Honestly, no. I hate my body. It's a constant struggle against the size of my waist and hips and the cellulite on my butt. Hate it. I do work out and eat mostly all right, but it doesn't matter. All my life I've been a hypercompetitive person, and when it comes to my body, things are no different. Clothes never fit the way I want them to, the scale is always too high, and I'm embarrassed by the way I look. Mr. Cedar wants me to lose some weight, too, so I use that as incentive (I'm 5'4", about 130 lbs, and wear a size 4 or 6). Current goal is to get back to a comfortable size 4, which is where I was before I hurt my back last year and had to go without physical activity for about seven months.

It's funny...I'm not hard on other people about their weight, just myself. I mean, it's no secret that too many Americans are overweight, but I don't concern myself with them. Call me focused :)

I used to be perfectly fine with my body. I didn't love it, but I had come to accept that no one is perfect, so therefore, my body will never be perfect. But lately, I've started to pick out little things about my body that I hate. Because of this, I started to exercise more than I used to, and I feel like I don't exercise enough and that I should do more. I wish I could just go back to the way I was when I didn't care.

I've hated my body (everything and I mean EVERYTHING about it) for as long as I can remember.

Slowly, I'm becoming at peace. Before moving here, I had been battling with an eating disorder for about 7 (dear God...seven fucking years). I have quit that. I *try* to eat better, try to exercise but some days I still go back. Anyways, that's not the point.

The only thing I'm having a hard time still accepting is my size, although I refuse to ever buy a scale so it's not so much my "weight" but how I look in certain clothes I know used to fit. If that makes any sense.

Oooh. And my boobs. Too big. I want a breast reduction more than anyone could even imagine.

And my ears.

Everything else...I love.

Someday, I hope to love everything :)

This morning I showered, shaved everything (amazing how a good de-nuding of hair can make you feel) and stood in front of a mirror.

I've lost 16kgs since the beginning of the year and have quite a bit to go before I hit the "healthy" weight range so I am an overweight woman, but I looked in that mirror and saw my D cup breasts still looking a little perky, they're not hanging down to my waist (no kids!) and I like them. I saw my big round belly, where I carry most of my weight and I thought back to the Venus of willendorf (I think that's right) and how a body like mine would have been worshipped aeons ago. Of course it makes buying clothes that fit a bitch and that's what I'm working on getting rid of.

I have a pronounced waist, I'm not straight up and down. I have slim ankles and wrists, I have feminine curves.

I turned around and looked at my butt. It's dimpled but firm. I have stretch marks on my hips and stomach and breasts from being so large (and getting their so quickly) and they emphasise my roundness.

I can reach down and touch my toys, I can turn around, I can climb stairs and I can sit/stand/walk without being in chronic pain.

I have safe cholesterol, I have good blood pressure, my resting heart rate is 63 bpm. I'm healthy inside, I'm looking after myself, I can get out and exercise and there's nothing to prevent me from doing it.

I am not a person people would like twice at on the street. I don't get whistles or cat calls, but I also don't get the "fat slag" comments either.

I love my body, it lets me be me, it lets me live on this earth, it lets me hug the people I love.

I've never had weight issues, thankfully. I don't know what it's like to be obese or to have to struggle to lose it. I weigh around the same as I did when I was going to school, add only 5 lbs to that. Which still leaves me thin.

I am fully confident in what I look like and know that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me as long as I'm happy and content with myself.

Well I quite hate my stomach. I have a beer belly at the moment, which I am working really hard on!
Also my thighs are too big.

However I am more than happy with the rest of my body, and at times I am happy with it all and forget the silly little faults that I find.

I kinda hate my body. I have the curves in my hips that men like but I lack the boobs to make a real hour glass. I don't want to be stick thin, I like the Marilyn Monroe hourglass.

I am fighting genetics (all my family is big) and have been on a diet of this or that since I was 12. I remember being 150lbs at age 12.

Two years ago motivated by hate, anger, and spite thanks to the men in my life I lost 85lbs. Went from 235 to 150lbs.

I have since gained about 25 of it back and hate myself for it.
I can't seem to get that motivation back. But of course now at 27, I am always on some magic diet pill or low carb diet.

One day at my lowest I realized that if large women were considered beautiful and hot, I probably wouldn't be dieting.
Man that is just wrong!

For the most part i'm happy with my body. I would like to repair some of the damage childbirth has left but that will come with time and some work.

I am fairly happy with my body and my hubby seems to be too. Like most people though there are a few things I would change. I have recently put on some weight and would love to take off a few pounds. The wish of 90% of the women I think. Anyway, I still get a few doubletakes and winks so I must not be totally gone to pot yet!!! (LOL)

Im sorry to say, but I hate my body and it sucks.Im too short too fat and my boobs are too big. Very unbalanced body. Though its good to hear people out there actually happy with their bodies. Yes, I know Im going on a diet..though how many times have i said that before?!

To All Ladies Who Hate Their Bodies Because They Are Too Fat:
 

I feel for you, I hurt for you. I was you.
You do not have to hate yourself, because you are beautiful.

Before you dismiss my assertion, please hear me out.

• Diets don't work, they make you fatter
  If diets, did work, we'd all be thin
  Repeated dieting messes up your metabolism and screws with your self-esteem
  Almost everytime you go on a diet, you gain all and often more, of the weight back within two years.
  It is possible to be *overweight* and fit at the same time

I'd like to introduce the idea of size acceptance to you. It dramatically changed my life. I went from despising my self/my body to accepting, to liking it, without losing a significant amount of weight.

I'm going to borrow a bit from my friend who is a size acceptance activist, to explain what size acceptance is and why it can help you to be happier. In the words of Judy Sullivan of sizewise.com:

*A lot of people pooh-pooh the very idea of size acceptance. They think size acceptance means taking the easy way out, giving up on oneself, and letting oneself go. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Size acceptance is about acknowledging to yourself that the body you have will not be helped by any more dieting, that the intelligent thing to do is to concentrate on improved health and mobility. Very few of us will ever achieve long-term, substantial, healthy weight loss. We can all make reasonable advances in taking care of and loving ourselves as we are.

To paraphrase Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, size acceptance is a journey, not a destination. It's more work than dieting, but it helps rather than hurting. It's often a two steps forward, one step back process. At the same time it is empowering, giving confidence, strength, and comfort.*

If you would like to explore this process further,
there are two Size Wise email lists dedicated specifically to helping people of all sizes achieve their own personal goals in health and improved general lifestyle. They are SizeWisePlus (for people of all sizes), SizeWiseSS (for people larger than approximately 350 lbs.), and Size Wise Health Care (limited to members of the health care profession). All of these lists can be joined by going to the sizewise.com site. (There is no fee to belong to the list-serve or access the site.)

To finish up, I'm leaving you with a book list of empowerment. I've read most of the non-fiction books on the list (& others) in my journey to accept & love my body as it is today. Please feel free to PM me at any time.

{{hugs}}

--DD

Non-Fiction

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf

Big Fat Lies: The Truth About Your Weight and Your Health by Glen A. Gaesser, Ph.D.

Fat!So? by Marilyn Wann

Great Shape: The First Fitness Guide for Large Women by Pat Lyons and Debby Burgard

Health Risks of Weight Loss by Francie M. Berg

The Invisible Woman: Confronting Weight Prejudice In America by W. Charisse Goodman

Live Large!: Ideas, Affirmations, and Actions for Sane Living in a Larger Body by Cheri K. Erdman (No longer in print. Try Amplestuff.)

Losing It: America's Obsession with Weight and the Industry That Feeds On It by Laura Fraser

No Fat Chicks: How Big Business Profits by Making Women Hate Their Bodies by Terry Poulton

Nothing To Lose: A Guide to Sane Living in a Larger Body by Cheri K Erdman

Real Fitness for Real Women: A Unique Workout Program for the Plus-Size Woman by Rochelle Rice

Size Wise: A Catalog of More than 1000 Resources for Living With Confidence and Comfort at Any Size by Judy Sullivan (Try Amazon.com for used copies.)

Somebody To Love: A Guide to Loving the Body You Have by Leslea Newman

True Beauty: Positive Attitudes & Practical Tips from the World's Leading Plus-Size Model by Emme

Where the Girls Are: Growing Up Female with the Mass Media by Susan J. Douglas

Wake Up, I'm Fat! by Camryn Manheim

Women En Large: Images of Fat Nudes by Laurie Toby Edison and Debbie Notkin

Fiction

An Abundant Woman by Elizabeth Neff Walker
The Axeman's Jazz by Julie Smith
Fantasy by Raynetta Mannes
Fat Girl Dances With Rocks by Susan Stinson
Flesh by David Galef
Larger Than Death by Lynne Murray
Murder Can Kill Your Social Life by Selma Eichler
Murder Gets A Life: A Southern Sisters Mystery by Anne George
Significant Others by Armistead Maupin

DD... You are awesome... *soft smile*

your wise and inspiring words comfort me and hope many others...

thank you...

I waver back and forth on my body image. I've had some pretty traumatic experiences. I'm hella skinny, so my parents have always been concerned. I was a vegetarian from age 11-17, and I never weighed over 100 lbs. My mom and a couple friends were sure that I was anorexic, so my mom took me to a therapist to talk about it. My therapist was like, "you guys don't know what you're talking about, this kid is healthy." Then a couple years ago, I happened to be sorta sick and vomiting in the bathroom at a family reunion, and some relative went and told my mom that she was absolutely sure that I was bulemic. So after another stupid trip to the therapist, where she promptly shut them down again, I was sure the world was conspiring against me as a skinny person.

So since all that silliness, I've become a non vegetarian, am up to 105, and though I've slowly grown to like my body shape, occasionally I have not-so-sexy feeling day. My tummy is out of shape, and my boobies are little with puffly nipples. What's up with that? But usually, I am pretty impressed with myself when I look in the mirror.

Growing into your body is a long and painful process. Especially considering the fact that by the time you might begin to be happy with it, it is beginning to decay and fall apart. I think that's the thing that creeps me out the most about aging.

Truer words have never been spoken, siryn.

You hit upon something I was just mulling over. I am at that decaying & falling apart age (43) and I am happy with my body--and it's far from great.
But the cool thing is, I take care of myself, I exercise and feel strong, and I think that's what's going to keep me positive about it.
I've noticed that in older women, healthiness and an inner vitality trancends the *decay* of aging (at least I hope it will.:p )

I'm very happy with my body type. It's perfect for someone my age, and height. I am a little light when it comes to weight, and I eat like a pig. I would rather have a bigger chest. If anything that is what I would change. Other than that I am happy being, 5'2", 95lbs, with a pretty fit body.. but the 32A has to go

I can't believe that I stayed away from this thread for so long -- and I'm sorry I did. You are all open and wonderful woman.

I struggled with my body image for a very long time! Then I worked with a woman who was going through a divorce. Her husband, the boss, had an affair with another co-worker, so it was very ugly. She was 5'10", weighed 140 on good days and use to be a model. During the divorce she struggled to keep weight on. I, at the same time, was struggling to loose weight. I thought she was the perfect beautiful woman. She envied me the ability to eat, exercise, and be healthy. It was then that I realized that ALL American woman struggle with their body images. Yet, all bodies are a gift. The best we can do is to nurture them, take care of them, enjoy them, and rejoice in them.

No, my body is not perfect. I am currently on a weight loss program because I choose to be! I might choose not to be next week. What I find most important is exercise and drinking water -- making healthy choices that allow me to live the life I want to live, and loving me for me. We are wonderful human beings, Thank God we all look different. If we didn't, what a boring place this world would be.

My hubby loves it....Me...I never really thought about it....Till I started my diet....It's getting to the point where I loke it...for now...It's a love hate relationship

I don't hate my body, but I'm not happy with it. I'm "large" :P Been dieting most of my life, have been anorexic/bulemic. It's only with my current husband that I've started to feel a little bit comfortable with myself. He'll hold my poochy tummy in his hands and say "Every part of you is beautiful". He's so sweet and wondeful! *aww**
I do want to lose weight, but for myself, not for anyone else. That would probably help my lower back feel better.

i sometimes like my body. as much as i don't want to be the " a man validates my worth" girl, my boyfriend really has helped me feel better about my looks. i mean someone sitting there complimenting all the parts you hate can help, you know? he has brought out this part of me that feel sexy and doesn't care about those stretch marks. cause everything about that part of me is confident and sexy and beautiful.
and then there are days where i feel very fat. and i don't think that's the root of the problem with me. i think that when i see myself as fat, i extend that to general character traits, such as lazy. i think that's what makes me feel the worst.
but i don't want to think about that. and i'm trying to change it. i do need to lose weight, i'm not at a really healthy weight. but i have been losing. i just want to be at a healthy weight, where i can go for a run and not be out of breath, and where i can shop at most stores and find my size.
i guess i'm a bit fickle with the love and hate of my body, but i guess i'm not alone.

Personally, no. I'm not happy with body. I'd like to take my face and put it on my body about 5 years ago. Health problems, hormones and medical procedures have really messed with me. I can't remember the last time I was happy with how I looked. This thread has put that into perspective now, too. I've tried all these new techniques to improve the way I look; my weight, my skin color. Blech! I'm fortunate enough to have a loving boyfriend that accepts my imperfections and helps me cope with them and pushes me to accept me, too.

I have no problem with my body....But I am over weight (My BMI is a whopping 40...but it's down from a 42) I'm more pudgey then fat (OOHH...I hate that word) I'm doing pilates and am on a diet (I've already lost 27 lbs...Woo-Hoo) Try to get down to my perfect weight....which is 140

But for the most part...I really like my body...after all...I make love to it all the time. ;)

Its really important to learn to love your body and im glad that i love mine. At the end of the day when your old and your body goes through changes you should be able to look back and think
"at least i enjoyed it when it was at its best"
coz you aint gonna have it for ever.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I have always struggled with my weight and my body-image. I was always overweight growing up, and then I lost it all and got in great shape in high school. I was down to a size 9, but more importantly, I was healthy and still had my big hips, which I love. And I also have a great set of hooties, of which I am very proud.

When I had my daughter, I had gotten up to almost 300lbs, and I felt horrible.
Since then I've gone up and down, and have sort of felt good about myself at times, but mostly not. Most of all I just wanted to be active again, because let me be the first to say, diets and starvation are no way to lose weight, eat as well as you can and just be active, and you'll see the results.

Anyway, my husband always made me feel like eating was some horrible thing, and he made me feel guilty anytime I did it. I would eat dinner and he would say " Why are you eating? Didn't you have lunch this afternoon?"

So, now that he is out of my life, I've actually lost weight, without him breathing down my neck, I eat when I'm hungry and I don't worry about what he thinks anymore.
But let me tell you about my lover. I've know him since high school, and I lost touch for about 6 years. When I found him again, all I could think was how he'd see me, since I'm about 50 lbs heavier than I was in high school. Well, he's done nothing but tell me how beautiful and sexy I am, and even his family tell him how they think i'm beautiful.
So the point of my rambling is this, having someone that loves you and wants you regardless of how you look, someone that loves the person you are on the inside, and supports you in everything you do, that really helps you to love yourself and see past the flaws.
Because if you don't love yourself, then how can anyone else?

I would like the way I looked if nobody else cared either. Unfortunately society is not that way and looks tend to play a big role, (which I think sux!). I would love to be happy and fat for the rest of my life if it was acceptable. I can never be bone skinny because I'm physically not made that way. The funny thing is I'm not really that judgemental of other people, just of myself. I never call people 'fat' because I never think they are. Of course if you have a good personality, your looks don't matter, because that shines through and makes you beautiful. If anyone doesn't like you based on your looks, would you really want to know them?

I struggle with my body image. I hate the way the fat feels around my waist and my thighs and hips. I have tiny purple stretchmarks on the top of my thighs and it bothers me to no extent. To me, I do not love my body.

Thats me...but without the freckles. Personally, I can absolutley hate my body at times, but after reading this thread, I've become much happier with it. I hope that all girls can look in the mirror and see beauty.

I hate mine and if you read the post in the "Insecurities toward your SO's porn habits?" thread, you'll get a better idea as to why.

I'm built sort of like a boy, long body, long legs and no hips. I'm around a size 9, and I don't have big boobs.

Personally though, I think my body isn't bad. I wear whatever with confidence. Even though slightly bigger boobs would be nice, but hey .. I can live without.

Overall I must say that I am happy with my body.
Sure, there are a couple of things here and there that I would like to change, but I know that it all comes down to what I want to take the time for. I find it a very easy thing to keep to a figure that I am happy with. "Within acceptable peramiters" as Hal jokes.

A huge aspect of why I'm so happy with my size, though, comes from the fact that I have never had any difficulties getting to the size and weight that I have wanted. I weigh the same today that I weighed in junior high... it's all just distributed a little differently.

I've seen my mom stress about her weight, wanting to be lighter but never being able to get her metabolism working the way she wants... I decided early on that I would have an active lifestyle and that I wouldn't let my eating habits get out of control.

I learned on my own what makes my body happy. Always eating something at mealtime, sticking to things that make me feel good like wheat, oats, bran, rice, and veggies. My body tells me when I'm not feeding it right and it sends out a mental warning before I gain five pounds. I love it.

i'm actually kind of really liking it these days... for no reason other than it's mine... it's me... can't be anything more than that...

*goofy smile* :crazy:

I think i've finally finished my rush through puberty.. no longer growing.. just getting chubby. I'm just at the brink of "doing something about it" rather than sitting around complaining. I have to admit that my guy makes me feel great about my body though :)

I love my body

Somedays - YES!
Somedays- Fuck no.

When i take care of it, i feel good. When i do fun things and think about what i eat and dont indulge, yup, happy. But i have my moments.

Did the eating disorder for a year (cheerleading, such a bad idea) Top that off with 15 years of ballet when you are the shortest and heaviest (note - i was 5'4'', 130 lbs.... not to say i was fat but i outweighed them by 20 lbs and was at least three inches shorter) it took a toll. However, what saved me was working out with my friends who were worse off then me to encourage them and help myself along the way. My best friend lost 50 lbs and tho she isnt my size she has the confidence to make people think she weighs less than me. GO HER. i still tip my hat at her for that. She's happy, i have a lot to learn from that.

Going running today, Training for the Boulder Bolder. Ill feel good after that =)

Love yourself ladies. Read my sign for more from a wise woman=)

I'm pretty happy with the way I look and my whole body.

It's weird, you know, sometimes you can look into the mirror and think you look real great and even damn-sexy, feeling all beautifull and good,
while for instance should you look a few houres later again, you can see yourself as a horrible monster from middle-earth or something (I am exaggerating a bit!).

So it basically all depends on the way you're feeling inside...
Blahblahblah (I hate affirming clichés, but can't pass this one, i guess!)

I'm satisfied with my body, which is kind of funny because I'm fat as hell (270 pounds or something). Of course, I'd love to be skinnier, and I am dieting (I've lost about ten pounds over the past few weeks). But in general, I am happy with my body.

I am happy with myself. Not necessarily with my body, because I know that I could be healthier. You just have to make yourself do something about it.