Double D

I was reading through another thread regarding society's lack of acceptance of fat people, and the question of how women here felt about their bodies came to mind.

Personally, I've been all over the map, but for most of my life I had intense hatred of my body. It's only been in the past 8-9 years (I'm 43) that I've come to accept, and once in a while, love my imperfections. It took a lot of work, lots of reading and affirmations, as well as quitting being a human yo-yo with my weight. I started dieting at age 9- substituting a yucky drink made from powdered something mixed with milk, for meals. So much of my self-esteem stemmed from how I looked and how others evaluated my looks, I find it sad to reflect back on how many years I wasted with body shame & hatred.

How do you feel about your body? Are you comfortable with it? Can you honestly say you love it (and kudos to you, if you can!)?
Or are you struggling with your body image - disliking, maybe hating what you see when you stand in front of the mirror?

NetterButter

All in all, I am very comfortable with my body. I feel that I am blessed in certain areas and could use some help in others.I believe we all can see imperfections on our body (we are females after all) and we are our biggest critics. I'm glad that you have become "friends" with your body now. Props to you.

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www.holeinthe.net

Plummie

Our imperfections make us who we are. I have never hated what I saw in the mirror however I do struggle with my body image at times because I'm not a toothpick thin gal.

Along with many people, there are certain parts of my body that I love and other parts I wish I could change. I try hard not to fight my imperfections, but rather embrace them and make the best of what I got. As women, that is all we can do.

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Kim

Janie

I love bits of it. All of us have parts they'd want to improve, and I'm no different. I'd like to be taller, with more meat on my bones, and my ass round and beautiful, but I know there's nothing I can do to change my body. Overall, I'm happy with what I see when I look in the mirror.

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cheers to the motherland

SiN

i do my best to accept what i cannot change -
1. i'm short, 5 feet tall.
2. my boobs are too big and have too much skin (so they sag).
this could be changed with surgery, but that hasn't been a financial option yet. if ever it is, i will do it.
3. i wish i was a natural blonde, so i wouldnt have to keep frying my hair with bleach.
4. i wish i didn't freckle so easily.

for the most part, i've just accepted those things, i don't love them, but i can't do much about it. just kinda neutral rather than loving, i think.

the things i *can* change, like the amount of fat on my body, of course i don't accept and love.
is not for me.
i'm not saying other women should be the same.
is just we all kno inside what is our best, what is possible or not, what we can be happy with.
is a personal decision.

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onodrim

Body image is of course a huge issue with women. I go back and forth all the time. Sometimes I see about twenty different things I wish I could change, other days I'm perfectly happy. For the most part, its very mental. My goal is to get past what the media drills into your head as the perfect image, and accept and love what you have. Its hard, but we can do it!

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

Minx

I am quite happy with the way I look. Just like everyone elce, there are things I would change if I could, naturally. I am quite short (5') and would give anything to be even just a few inches taller but it's not something I boo hoo about. I've been lucky weight-wise, it's never been an issue with me although after bearing two kids I wouldn't mind having my old boobies back!
I had a bad accident years ago which not only taught me the importance of just appreciating life but myself, too. I always had a very poor image of myself before the accident, never happy with the way I looked even though I was in awesome shape. After the accident I realized what matters, health, loved ones...I instantly became comfortable with myself and my attitude became "if you don't like the way I look, don't look!". It's so hard on us ladies too with the media pressure to always look great, be slim, be toned. It's unrealistic pressures put upon most ladies when we really should be more concerned with the inside, rather than the outside.

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You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

~springrain

LOADED question for me... and i've decided not to bore you with my long and often self-indulgent thoughts regarding my body...

suffice it to say this:

i spent over 15 years of my lost lost in the hell of an eating disorder.

the cause behind an eating disorder is complex and ultimately rooted in a feeling of loss of control over one's life.

that said... i also place heavy "blame" on the media, and societal expectations of how women should look. my family was very accepting of all body types and images... it was the constant bombardment from television, movies, magazines, billboards, etc. etc. that seemed to slowly "eat away" at my self perception and acceptance.

i say this because i am still bothered by what i consider a lack a "true respresentation" of the female form in America today. HELL, models & photographers admit that the "real person" is rarely captured as 90% of the images out there are "enhanced" through airbrushing and computer enchancements.

i pray for the day when all young women, with "average" B-cup breasts. full hips, and the like can look in the mirror --- and instead of comparing themselves to the super models, and feeling shame... can feel proud of the beautiful body that nature created... exactly as it should be.

*kicking my soap box back under the desk*... sorry for the rant ladies... told you it was a loaded subject for me...

*Nikki*

I hate to sound vain, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I love being me. No complaints.

~springrain

it's not vain... it's wonderful... everyone should feel that way about their body *smile*

sierra2774

I am starting to like mine better every day.

__________________
"Every tomorrow brings new opportunities, challenges we must address...A chance to affirm all our wishes and dreams, to seek beauty and true happiness."

Xapphire

Yes and no.
I know that I can't change my poor breastfeeding-changed breasts, so I'm learning to deal with that, I don't exactly like it, but *shrug*
If I stand up straight and look at my body in the mirror, it's not that bad. It's not how I plan on looking in a year, or 5 years, but it's my body and I'm (for the most part) proud of how it got to be the way it is. 3 children does not do wonders for a figure, and I have to say, I've come out of it better than I would have expected.

Balaniki

I wish I weighed less - it would be healthier for me. I'm not really into looking like those toothpick-thin models you see on magazine covers.

My eating habits SUCK. If I could kick the junk food/candy/snacks monkey off my back I'd lose the weight easy!

And once I lose the weight I can have my breast reduced - and paid for by my insurance! The weight of these puppies causes me back pain and posture problems (hunced back).

But overall - I'm ok with me!

G0dd3ss

I wish I were about 20 lbs thinner...but most of us would like to change our weight slightly, either up or down. *shrugs* Oh well...my boyfriend thinks I'm sexy and that contributes a lot to my self image.

Overall, I really can't complain.

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It's best not to be too moral...you cheat yourself out of too much life. - Maude, Harold and Maude.

SparklingDot

I'm quite happy with who I am. I used to have issues with my body, but what adolescent girl doesn't? I am healthy, and real, and ME.

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17 seconds is all you really need
- Smashing Pumpkins

Double D

Thank you ladies, for your replies. It isn't always easy to speak honestly of how we feel about our bodies. In reading through everyone's posts, then looking again at my original question/comments, I realize that I sound as if I love my body every day. I dont. I still have the occasional bad day when I have the body hatred thing going. When it does happen, I try to figure out what's *really*getting me down.

It's a daily challenge, but it's heartening to hear that most of us are at least trying to keep a healthy perspective and are doing what we can to resist buying into the impossible Barbie-like ideal of what a woman *should* look like.

lady

I've gained 20 lbs since high school, didn't realize it was so much until just recently. I've started working out recently, and once I lose all or most of that weight, I'll be content with my body. It's never gonna look like the skinny-little thangs in Hollywood, etc, but I'm glad I have curves.

__________________
Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.

SabrinaFair

I'm a freckled size 12, and damn proud of it. I like my curves, although I'm currently trying to tone up. And hey, I have a great rack. So I'm basically comfortable in my body, although I could use a little trimming and toning.

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"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata

AlmostParadise

I am pretty satisfied with the way my body looks. Except my breasts could be a little bigger, i'm slightly out of proportion as soon as i have the money...

~springrain

Almost Paradise... you are made exactly the way nature intended...
being "out of proportion" is a current phase in the ever flowing American trends on how women "should look"...
i read somewhere recently that "smaller breasts" are becoming more "in fashion"... and that some models and the like are getting their current implants replaced with smaller ones...

geeez... it just seems to sad to me that women are running to have further surgeries just to keep up with fashion trends...

i'm not trying to make a value judgement here... it it's what you really want... then i say go for it!...
i just hope for the day when more of us can be happy with what we are given naturally...

waves

personally, I hate mine.

darksparkles

i definitely have a love/hate relationship with my body ... maybe it's because i gain and lose weight pretty fast. i don't know.

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"I could be the walrus ... I'd still have to bum rides off people." -Ferris Bueller.

uptown

sigh... no No matter how hard I try all I see when I look in the mirror is imperfections and uglyness

~springrain

uptown... *soft smile*... i wish i had a "magic pill" to give you... or even some insightful words of wisdom...
and even if i did... i would feel like the the blind leading the blind as i have struggled with with the very same my entire life...

slowly but surely, over time, i can say that i have felt an improvement.
motherhood, marriage, and just an overall understanding of what is "real" versus my perceptions of what i "should be" has helped...

your statement brought a lump to my throat and a felt like a someone shoved a stick in my gut...
too many of us feel this way... and it incenses me beyond words... somehow, it's up to us women to change the "model"... and to quit allowing a handful or ego-centric clothing designers, advertising execs, pubescent porn-hound men and the like, dictate how we "should" look and/or feel about ourselves.

not sure how we're going to do that yet... but i'm hopeful.

thanks for being so honest and sharing... *warm smile*... and welcome...

raeanna74

I'm always been mostly satisfied with my body. I have had a high metabolism which is slowing down I can tell. I didn't even own a weight scale until I was 27. I only concerned myself with how I felt physically. When I had my daughter I gained 60 lbs and my ankles disappeared from extra water. I had a c-section and nursed my daughter for almost 3 years. All that changed me a lot. I have had biopsies for Melanoma and have to use sunscreen to protect my fair skin. I rarely get much of a tan because of that. I have made many accomplishments in my life. I graduated from college. My daughter it beautiful and healthy and (I think lol) a genius. I'm happy with my abilities and my health. I would by no means make it as a model but when I look in the mirror I'm happy. Even with the scars and stretch marks and my breasts which have completely relocated themselves in the last 3 years. I know who I am and what I can do and I feel good physically. If I was skinny as a model and felt too weak to carry my 32 lbs daughter when she's sick I would hate it. I'm able, I'm healthy, I'm woman, hear me roar.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

~springrain

*broad smile*... now THAT"s the kind of response i was hoping for!

thank you raeanna

Minx

I second that! What a great attitude!

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You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

Xeen

*shrug* I've been too heavy and too skinny in my life.. I didn't really like myself as either but it was more about what was making me that way than my actual body.

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~~ Xeen ~~

This court rules that religion must stay 500 yards away from science at all times.

miked10270

I am now comfortable with my body,but it has taken me about 8 years to finally accept my weight and size.My ex-husband made me feel that anything I ate would make me fat,where as my husband whom I have been with for the last 8 years loves my body and makes me feel wanted.The point am I am making is accept yourself for who you are and not how society thinks we should look like.

lurkette

I used to hate my body until I saw a woman at the gym who was SUPER skinny and I thought "I hate her" (thinking of course that I wanted to look like her) and then I saw her t-shirt - she was a cancer survivor. I had this "whoa!" moment - why do I hate my body just because it doesn't look like some pretty arbitrary standard, instead of loving it because it's healthy and mine all mine, and gets me where I want to go? Why am I so obsessed with looking good instead of just grateful to be healthy? Why am I judging other people the way I DON'T want to be judged? How are my own hangups getting in the way of being compassionate to other people and to myself?

Since then I've been a lot more gentle with myself - I try to exercise because it's good for me and makes me feel good, I try to eat enough healthy food to take care of myself, and enough chocolate to make me happy.

I still have moments when I really wish I looked different - taller, thinner, bigger boobs, smaller thighs, whatever - but then I go look at Boticelli, and Twiggy, and Marilyn Monroe, and Marie Antoinette, and realize that there are all kinds of beautiful, and what's considered beautiful at any given time is pretty damned arbitrary. So why shouldn't I be my own definition of beautiful?

Life's too short to spend so much time trying to be something else. Women used to have to wear corsets. Now our bodies are expected to be their own corsets! I'd rather eat good bread.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

BlueBongo

Sometimes I am happy with myself and other times I am not. I am happy with who I am on the inside, but the feelings of obeisity really wear me down.

I think at 21 and 260 lbs.. this is the most I have weighed in my life. I constantly say I need to do something about it.. but I can't motivate myself. Sometimes I consider joining the military just so I can go back to the rigorous daily routines of getting in shape and having that person there motivating.... I am just a lazy person. I have gotten too comfortable with myself, yet I still yearn to look and feel better.

I don't have esteem-issues, but I do have a problem motivating myself. Telling myself what is right... should I choose to put that butter on the bread? or should I go without?

With things like heart problems, diabetes, clogged arteries, and various fat/sugar causing diseases that run in my family one would think that would motivate me.

I am just scared now. Even the dietician couldn't help me. But anymore I know I'm attractive, but when I look in the mirror I just get so disappointed.

I suppose when someone else in my family dies maybe then I will be motivated? who knows.

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"Things can only get so bad before they have no choice but to get better.."

Double D

miked10270,

I'm glad that you are comfortable with your self/body and that you have a man that appreciates that beauty comes in all sizes.

You put a lot into that last, succinct sentence as well. So very true.

Divine69

I don't like my body because I am to fat....But I have a beautiful personality and face....

__________________
"What comes around goes around"

"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels"

Double D

lurkette,

You made some really great points in your post, and since you obviously speak from the heart, they resonate all the more.


Thank you!

Divine69

I agree with you.... I may not like my body but I am beautiful as a person....

__________________
"What comes around goes around"

"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels"

Double D

Blue Bongo,

I'm sorry that your are feeling worn down by your feelings about your body.

Feeling unhealthy can't be an easy place to be to be.

It's hard to get motivated, plus it's hard to stay motivated. One needs to be driven by fear...or vanity... it must be something bigger than you, telling you when you want to skip a workout, that it will do harm... and that after getting through the workout you will feel stronger, more toned, confident about your body, your strength.

When you decide to give taking care of your self/body another try,
forget about the weight-loss part, and enjoy how wonderful your body feels when you treat it well. Start moving more, and everything will follow.

Double D

Divine69,

You expressed a lot in your one sentence:

I'm hoping you'll add some more to your comment.
Would you describe yourself as a fat woman with a beautiful face & personality?

~springrain

i want to say thank you all for being so real and so open with this thread... i do believe that the healing that is to be found... will come mostly from us women... and the ability to share and suppport each other in this issue that dictates how so many of us feel about ourselves and live our lives...

thanks to you awesome women!

lurkette

Do you know what is really good for body image? Belly dancing. I love my belly dance class. The more you have to shimmy and shake, the better.

My instructors are both middle-aged women. Neither is conventionally beautiful, but one of them has the most perfect female hips - she's not skinny but they accentuate her waist and are just shaped in a way that says "I'm a woman!!!" And both of them are just so comfortable with their bodies. That's the best part about belly dance, is getting to know your body and all of its parts and how to move and use each part of you. I have never felt so sexy as when I'm belly dancing. I'm not worried about how my body looks, I'm just thinking about moving this particular muscle, or moving my hips just so. Very liberating.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

erin

After recently deciding I had to make a life change or risk death from medical problems, I like myself once more. Ive gone on a diet that im comfy with,an exercise routine that is fun for me and I look forward to everyday, and the "new" me is emerging..and ive started a list of things i would like to do for me as a reward(tattoo,hair lightening just to name a few)I also once again feel sexy,have confidence in myself when im out in public,and lots of energy.and my day starts with a smile.. So,YES, I now love my body and myself again!wooohooo!! the best part: my hubby has always thought i was sexy !