Difficulty with positions - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Remote Mind · 01-14-2005, 02:38 PM

My SO and I have sex quite frequently (1-2 times per day), but it's almost always in the missionary position. I was a virgin before him, and he'd only had one (briefly) sexually active relationship before me, so neither one of us has a ton of experience outside of each other. My problem is, we've occasionally tried to have sex doggie style, but he keeps slipping out. He'll be thrusting for a few seconds, and then he pops out and we have to readjust until he's back in. It's frustrating, and it breaks the mood/rhythm! So, any ladies out there have any idea what we're doing wrong or why this is happening and how to fix it?

sexymama · 01-14-2005, 05:41 PM

My ex couldn't do that position either. Sad to say, he was just too small. (Too bad, as I LOVE it!)

With Lebell I find leaning forward onto my elbows helps.

And maybe try some others: you on top, put your legs around his neck in missionary, lean over the bed with your feet on the floor and him behind you, etc. Have fun, be creative, and experiment. Frankly, there are some positions that just don't work with certain partners so laugh and change, it isn't worth getting hung up over. Good luck!

Sage · 01-14-2005, 10:19 PM

there's a million websites and books out there with different sexual positions!

top 10 books on sex positions

position of the day from Nerve.com

sexual positions!

all off of google! plus, since you say you two were not sexually expierenced before you got together, i would HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend The Guide to Getting it On! by Paul Joannides. i considered myself pretty well-versed in sexuality and then i read this book- it is funny, well written, and very very informative about all things sexual. like, every teenager needs to be taught sex ed from this book

sex is fun! approach it as fun! and remember that sex isn't just about penatration- it's about using ALL your god-given talents to focus on each others' pleasure!

good luck

bad jane · 01-17-2005, 03:42 AM

if you can't do doggie style but love the sensation, have him lay on his back and you sit on his lap facing away from him. you won't get the strong thrusting you could have in doggie style (unless you can REALLY bounce!), but it's a good substitute.

as someone else mentioned, try doggie style on your elbows rather than your hands. you might even try putting a pillow or two under you for support and not resting on your hands or elbows, allowing your torso to be even lower.

ShaniFaye · 01-17-2005, 04:20 AM

I've really never been able to do doggie with any guy I've ever had sex with, which is ok because that position really hurts for the few minutes it can be managed. Having my torso down will help him stay in but its still really uncomfortable to me that way.

Since I love the "take from behind" idea....We do the reverse cowgirl thing, where he's laying on his back and Im on top facing the other way.....I get off every time like that.

MY position is on top.....it feels better to me that way than any other position since I can control how deep and when and how fast

pinkie · 01-17-2005, 06:34 AM

I love doggie style, especially standing bent over something. Anal or vaginal, it's great.

astrahl · 01-18-2005, 09:18 AM

Do yourself and your SO a fabulous favor and get a few books on sex and sexual positions. Sex is a learned skill and to master it, you must teach yourself and eachother.

minyn · 01-24-2005, 12:52 PM

i agree, try everything, adjust here, experiment! some things will work for you, some wont. its okay, our bodies are all different.

and books are the next best thing to having an experienced partner. and ask others too, we're here to help! good luck! hope to see lots of posts of success in "got some thread" !

nspanky34 · 02-09-2005, 12:51 PM

Doggie Style is the best! The easiest way to do it is to both be on the bed. He is on his knees and I am in doggy position, its easy for him to do it even if he has a small penis! Good luck!

raeanna74 · 02-09-2005, 02:24 PM

Just a couple questions...
Are you doing it with your legs together and his apart?
Are you up on your hands or down on your elbows?
Is he standing at the edge of the bed or on his knees too?

All those changes in position can affect how it works. I find that the guy doesn't go as deep (or if he's small doesn't stay in as well) if my legs are together and if I'm up on my hands. If I spread my legs and get down on my elbows it helps lots. Also adjusting the width of your knees will raise and lower you so that your right on "target" for him. That will help with him slipping out.

As mentioned by the others here - get a book. There are many different books out there about sexual positions with drawings to help you get the picture. I got ours BTW from a book club so I never had to walk up to a checkout counter with something juicy. Don't get discouraged if some of the positions don't work either. Some work for some people and some for others. Hubby and I were each other's firsts as well and we learned a lot from books. We also watched a few porn together and got ideas from that for positions and how to make the positions work even sometimes.

Approach this from an exploration point of view - not trying to "perform" for each other - and you'll find new ways of doing things that you never even thought of before.

Good Luck.

ironmaiden7o7 · 02-10-2005, 02:57 AM

Like the ladies said, there are many other positions that you can try. If you can't succeed in that particular one, there are many others that you can experiment. It could get frustrating, but just remember, it isn't a task, it's a lot more than that. Enjoy it. Be creative. Good luck love.

Apache · 02-12-2005, 08:09 PM

I know exactly how you feel, and I also know it sucks! My husband and I were both virgins when we met, and it feels like it took me forever to be able to do all the things we do now.(even though it didn't) Of course he's a guy and he can do it ALL, but there were things that didn't feel right or work right and I would get mad, and it does screw with the mood of things, but he would always tell, me don't get mad, just relax. I just wanted it to be more than just the normal even though that felt great too. Now my husband gets so turned on when I want it rough and hard and all over the place. And our sex life is GREAT.

jillian · 02-13-2005, 05:43 PM

ive been with a few guys thathad that problem... its usually easily fixed by me just spreading my knees farther apart or just changinhg the angle.... my problem i have with my new guy is the exact opposite... he i s freakin enormous.. doesnt slip out just feels like i hes in my throat... have to use a guide hand to keep him from going too deep in doggystle.. even thats not always enough.. we just usually try all sorts of positions... my new favorite with him is just laying on my back... him on his knees... he grabs ahold of his member and uses it like a huge dildo on me... its amazing.. he doesnt move a muscle except for his arm pumping it in and out and up and down and all around... he uses his free hand on my clit..... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

imperfect_anya · 02-21-2005, 08:15 PM

Oh boy, I can totally relate about the doggie style not working. So, what we have found works the best for us is reverse cowgirl, it lets me have more control of the pace and rhythm and his hands are free. *grin*

RainbowBright · 02-25-2005, 08:51 PM

sometimes it helps to use what i've heard people refer to as "doggy style and then I fell down" where you lie flat on your stomach and he enters from behind. Also just a modified doggy style with you butt up in the air but your head down lower can help.

Janey · 02-28-2005, 09:58 AM

i find that if in doggy position, i spread my legs, it's a different sensation than knees together. It gets tiring taht way, but i really like the 'ramming' sensation both ways...

01-14-2005, 02:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Remote Mind Upright	Difficulty with positions My SO and I have sex quite frequently (1-2 times per day), but it's almost always in the missionary position. I was a virgin before him, and he'd only had one (briefly) sexually active relationship before me, so neither one of us has a ton of experience outside of each other. My problem is, we've occasionally tried to have sex doggie style, but he keeps slipping out. He'll be thrusting for a few seconds, and then he pops out and we have to readjust until he's back in. It's frustrating, and it breaks the mood/rhythm! So, any ladies out there have any idea what we're doing wrong or why this is happening and how to fix it?

01-14-2005, 05:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	My ex couldn't do that position either. Sad to say, he was just too small. (Too bad, as I LOVE it!) With Lebell I find leaning forward onto my elbows helps. And maybe try some others: you on top, put your legs around his neck in missionary, lean over the bed with your feet on the floor and him behind you, etc. Have fun, be creative, and experiment. Frankly, there are some positions that just don't work with certain partners so laugh and change, it isn't worth getting hung up over. Good luck! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

01-17-2005, 04:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I've really never been able to do doggie with any guy I've ever had sex with, which is ok because that position really hurts for the few minutes it can be managed. Having my torso down will help him stay in but its still really uncomfortable to me that way. Since I love the "take from behind" idea....We do the reverse cowgirl thing, where he's laying on his back and Im on top facing the other way.....I get off every time like that. MY position is on top.....it feels better to me that way than any other position since I can control how deep and when and how fast __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

01-24-2005, 12:52 PM	#8 (permalink)
minyn young and in bloom Location: under the bodhi tree.... bling	i agree, try everything, adjust here, experiment! some things will work for you, some wont. its okay, our bodies are all different. and books are the next best thing to having an experienced partner. and ask others too, we're here to help! good luck! hope to see lots of posts of success in "got some thread" ! __________________ "Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye" ~A3 "woke up this morning" "Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

02-09-2005, 12:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
nspanky34 Upright Location: pittsburgh	Doggie Style is the best! The easiest way to do it is to both be on the bed. He is on his knees and I am in doggy position, its easy for him to do it even if he has a small penis! Good luck! __________________ Vote for Pedro! Idiots...

01-14-2005, 10:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	there's a million websites and books out there with different sexual positions! top 10 books on sex positions position of the day from Nerve.com sexual positions! all off of google! plus, since you say you two were not sexually expierenced before you got together, i would HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend The Guide to Getting it On! by Paul Joannides. i considered myself pretty well-versed in sexuality and then i read this book- it is funny, well written, and very very informative about all things sexual. like, every teenager needs to be taught sex ed from this book sex is fun! approach it as fun! and remember that sex isn't just about penatration- it's about using ALL your god-given talents to focus on each others' pleasure! good luck

01-17-2005, 03:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	if you can't do doggie style but love the sensation, have him lay on his back and you sit on his lap facing away from him. you won't get the strong thrusting you could have in doggie style (unless you can REALLY bounce!), but it's a good substitute. as someone else mentioned, try doggie style on your elbows rather than your hands. you might even try putting a pillow or two under you for support and not resting on your hands or elbows, allowing your torso to be even lower.

01-17-2005, 06:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
pinkie Helplessly hoping Location: Above the stars	I love doggie style, especially standing bent over something. Anal or vaginal, it's great.

01-18-2005, 09:18 AM	#7 (permalink)
astrahl Insane Location: You don't want to live here	Do yourself and your SO a fabulous favor and get a few books on sex and sexual positions. Sex is a learned skill and to master it, you must teach yourself and eachother.

02-09-2005, 02:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Just a couple questions... Are you doing it with your legs together and his apart? Are you up on your hands or down on your elbows? Is he standing at the edge of the bed or on his knees too? All those changes in position can affect how it works. I find that the guy doesn't go as deep (or if he's small doesn't stay in as well) if my legs are together and if I'm up on my hands. If I spread my legs and get down on my elbows it helps lots. Also adjusting the width of your knees will raise and lower you so that your right on "target" for him. That will help with him slipping out. As mentioned by the others here - get a book. There are many different books out there about sexual positions with drawings to help you get the picture. I got ours BTW from a book club so I never had to walk up to a checkout counter with something juicy. Don't get discouraged if some of the positions don't work either. Some work for some people and some for others. Hubby and I were each other's firsts as well and we learned a lot from books. We also watched a few porn together and got ideas from that for positions and how to make the positions work even sometimes. Approach this from an exploration point of view - not trying to "perform" for each other - and you'll find new ways of doing things that you never even thought of before. Good Luck. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

02-10-2005, 02:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
ironmaiden7o7 Insane Location: NYC	Like the ladies said, there are many other positions that you can try. If you can't succeed in that particular one, there are many others that you can experiment. It could get frustrating, but just remember, it isn't a task, it's a lot more than that. Enjoy it. Be creative. Good luck love.

02-12-2005, 08:09 PM	#12 (permalink)
Apache Insane	I know exactly how you feel, and I also know it sucks! My husband and I were both virgins when we met, and it feels like it took me forever to be able to do all the things we do now.(even though it didn't) Of course he's a guy and he can do it ALL, but there were things that didn't feel right or work right and I would get mad, and it does screw with the mood of things, but he would always tell, me don't get mad, just relax. I just wanted it to be more than just the normal even though that felt great too. Now my husband gets so turned on when I want it rough and hard and all over the place. And our sex life is GREAT.

02-13-2005, 05:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
jillian Crazy Location: indiana	ive been with a few guys thathad that problem... its usually easily fixed by me just spreading my knees farther apart or just changinhg the angle.... my problem i have with my new guy is the exact opposite... he i s freakin enormous.. doesnt slip out just feels like i hes in my throat... have to use a guide hand to keep him from going too deep in doggystle.. even thats not always enough.. we just usually try all sorts of positions... my new favorite with him is just laying on my back... him on his knees... he grabs ahold of his member and uses it like a huge dildo on me... its amazing.. he doesnt move a muscle except for his arm pumping it in and out and up and down and all around... he uses his free hand on my clit..... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

02-21-2005, 08:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
imperfect_anya Upright Location: nowherespecial, ca	Oh boy, I can totally relate about the doggie style not working. So, what we have found works the best for us is reverse cowgirl, it lets me have more control of the pace and rhythm and his hands are free. grin __________________ Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?

02-25-2005, 08:51 PM	#15 (permalink)
RainbowBright Crazy	sometimes it helps to use what i've heard people refer to as "doggy style and then I fell down" where you lie flat on your stomach and he enters from behind. Also just a modified doggy style with you butt up in the air but your head down lower can help.

02-28-2005, 09:58 AM	#16 (permalink)
Janey Junkie Location: Toronto	i find that if in doggy position, i spread my legs, it's a different sensation than knees together. It gets tiring taht way, but i really like the 'ramming' sensation both ways...