single mom advice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jillian · 11-12-2004, 06:28 PM

ok its a friday night at 9:20 pm... the kids are asleep and i am sitting here at my pc feeling depressed.... im 21 and most girls my age are out having fun going to parties on dates hitting the clubs... and me im here alone again... i get out every once and a while and i have a lot of fun when i do.. but it seems like its getting longer and longer between dates and fun nites out... i love my kids and we have fun as a family but damn it even i need some time for myself... some time to possibly meet some nice guys or girls.. hopefully find some guy or girl that makes me happy... when i do meet that someone as soon as they find out about the kids they usually head for the door... so does anybody out there know where to meet someone who isnt afraid to have fun with a wild crazy girl whoalso happens to have a couple kids??... im not looking for a dad or another mom just someone to take me out or someone to curl up next to on the couch... i am just very thankfuul for great ppl on this website who let me into their lives with every post and ggive me somewhere to vent my frustrations and problems and who actually care enough to respond... hopefully someday the rest of the board will be opened up to me so i can see all of the wonderful pics and be able to put faces with the names... sorry about the rant... not trying to through a pity party.. just a lil bit on the emotional side lately

maleficent · 11-12-2004, 07:24 PM

Depending on what you are looking for, and what the ages of your children are.... what about activities involving them (play groups, or school groups) that would allow you to interact with other people.

if you have even a little bit of spare time, look into volunteering (check out a site called www.volunteermatch.com, they've got tons of opportunies all over the place, and it's a great way to get out and meet people.

There's a "dating" organization called Parents Without Partners, you might be a little young for that demographic, but you never know...

You're a wonderful young woman, you shouldn't be sitting home feeling sad... You should be enjoying life.

Ella · 11-13-2004, 12:59 AM

Being from another country, I can't recommend places to go for you to meet people. I'm a single mother too, but became that way in my 30's, and had kids in my mid 20's, so I did a whole heap of partying before that. Thus, I really don't mind being home at night on the weekend - in fact I love it! I work full time as well, so I need my rest and relaxation.

I guess the trick behind meeting new people is not to appear too needy? I have no idea about your personality, but that is one thing that could scare a prospective partner off. So just take a night off the kids from time to time to get out with your mates just to have fun...not too look to meet 'someone', but just have time out for yourself. Remember, if you go out with the aim of meeting someone meaningful, it will never happen.

sexymama · 11-13-2004, 10:43 AM

When I was a single mom, I took once night a week for me. It is worth it to higher a sitter! A close girlfirend and I would go out dancing every Thursday evening (business men on their last day of travel, and not a meat market like Friday night.) We had a blast together and if we happened to meet someone, great. If not, at least I was with adults for one evening. And, when I take good care of me, I'm a better mom too!

jillian · 11-18-2004, 07:12 PM

well thanks for the advice... im sorry for bringing the morale of the board down... just had an emotional week and was a little depressed.. but im back to my perky self again... going out friday night... wooo hooooo!!!!

maleficent · 11-18-2004, 09:15 PM

You aren't bringing down the morale of the board. You were discussing a problem you were having at the time... Glad you are feeling better... Have fun tomorrow night!

yellowchef · 11-19-2004, 09:41 PM

yeah, I think its key to take one night a week to do something for yourself. Especially since you are 21.. if you are happy with your choice to have children GREAT! Thats even more reason to just take one night a week, or once every 2 weeks to do something for yourself. If your kids are well behaved, and not a baby sitters are easy to get. Hell I wish I could babysit these days, and Im 20.

11-12-2004, 06:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
jillian Crazy Location: indiana	single mom advice ok its a friday night at 9:20 pm... the kids are asleep and i am sitting here at my pc feeling depressed.... im 21 and most girls my age are out having fun going to parties on dates hitting the clubs... and me im here alone again... i get out every once and a while and i have a lot of fun when i do.. but it seems like its getting longer and longer between dates and fun nites out... i love my kids and we have fun as a family but damn it even i need some time for myself... some time to possibly meet some nice guys or girls.. hopefully find some guy or girl that makes me happy... when i do meet that someone as soon as they find out about the kids they usually head for the door... so does anybody out there know where to meet someone who isnt afraid to have fun with a wild crazy girl whoalso happens to have a couple kids??... im not looking for a dad or another mom just someone to take me out or someone to curl up next to on the couch... i am just very thankfuul for great ppl on this website who let me into their lives with every post and ggive me somewhere to vent my frustrations and problems and who actually care enough to respond... hopefully someday the rest of the board will be opened up to me so i can see all of the wonderful pics and be able to put faces with the names... sorry about the rant... not trying to through a pity party.. just a lil bit on the emotional side lately

11-12-2004, 07:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Depending on what you are looking for, and what the ages of your children are.... what about activities involving them (play groups, or school groups) that would allow you to interact with other people. if you have even a little bit of spare time, look into volunteering (check out a site called www.volunteermatch.com, they've got tons of opportunies all over the place, and it's a great way to get out and meet people. There's a "dating" organization called Parents Without Partners, you might be a little young for that demographic, but you never know... You're a wonderful young woman, you shouldn't be sitting home feeling sad... You should be enjoying life. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-13-2004, 12:59 AM	#3 (permalink)
Ella Ella Bo Bella Location: Australia	Being from another country, I can't recommend places to go for you to meet people. I'm a single mother too, but became that way in my 30's, and had kids in my mid 20's, so I did a whole heap of partying before that. Thus, I really don't mind being home at night on the weekend - in fact I love it! I work full time as well, so I need my rest and relaxation. I guess the trick behind meeting new people is not to appear too needy? I have no idea about your personality, but that is one thing that could scare a prospective partner off. So just take a night off the kids from time to time to get out with your mates just to have fun...not too look to meet 'someone', but just have time out for yourself. Remember, if you go out with the aim of meeting someone meaningful, it will never happen. __________________ "Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

11-13-2004, 10:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	When I was a single mom, I took once night a week for me. It is worth it to higher a sitter! A close girlfirend and I would go out dancing every Thursday evening (business men on their last day of travel, and not a meat market like Friday night.) We had a blast together and if we happened to meet someone, great. If not, at least I was with adults for one evening. And, when I take good care of me, I'm a better mom too! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

11-18-2004, 09:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	You aren't bringing down the morale of the board. You were discussing a problem you were having at the time... Glad you are feeling better... Have fun tomorrow night! __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-18-2004, 07:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
jillian Crazy Location: indiana	well thanks for the advice... im sorry for bringing the morale of the board down... just had an emotional week and was a little depressed.. but im back to my perky self again... going out friday night... wooo hooooo!!!!

11-19-2004, 09:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
yellowchef Addict Location: Shalimar, FL	yeah, I think its key to take one night a week to do something for yourself. Especially since you are 21.. if you are happy with your choice to have children GREAT! Thats even more reason to just take one night a week, or once every 2 weeks to do something for yourself. If your kids are well behaved, and not a baby sitters are easy to get. Hell I wish I could babysit these days, and Im 20.