KinkyKiwi

Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess, I have two mounds upon my bodice. I shave my legs, I sit down to pee, Can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon, Can get a massage without a hard-on. I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas, Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long, At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong. I don't drive in circles at any cost, And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.

Let me tell you men Listen to me boys Those things in your pants That you treat as toys You love them more then we ever will. We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill.

I never forget an important date, You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late. I don't watch movies with lots of gore, Don't need instant replay to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch, And just 'cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a Bitch!

I don't wear the same underwear everyday, The food in my fridge has no sign of decay. Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart, Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art.

Don't say to your friends, "Oh yeah, I can get her" - In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!

Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best. Would you look at my face, Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem, Expressing my feelings. I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling.

I know all you men Think that you're "IT" But compared to a woman You just ain't SHIT!

Don't call me a girl, A babe or a chick. I am a WOMAN, Get it, you prick?!

~Unknown

not sure if this is really the right room for it..but it is just for ladies...

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

KinkyKiwi

*shrug* well i thought it was pretty funny!

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

icksters

I've heard this before, I think its cute I think I have another poem similar to this on my other computer, I'll post it when I find it.

KinkyKiwi

yea i got it in a chain letter an just was like omg i love it! so i kept it around..thought people might liek it..*shrug*

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

maleficent

I'm not sure i agree with a lot of the stereotypes in it - but it's cute...

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berry1603

it's very interesting that in the future when people read this poem they are going to look at women as high maintance creatures who have nothing better to do but critize the opposite sex

KinkyKiwi

hmmm...and they will look at men as dirty, smelly creatures who have nothing better to do then chase around balls

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.