ShaniFaye

Forgive me Im on a rant this morning. (see my journal)

I would really like to know how many of us TFP chicks have male friends that in NO way has sex EVER been involved in hanging out with them.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

lurkette

Good for you! I'm right there with you, but don't let a few insecure control freaks get you down. I think the majority of men are open-minded and secure enough to realize that not every male-female relationship (or female-female relationship, in some cases, heh) has to involve boinking. There are just some vocal doofuses out there. They'll learn, or they'll end up with milktoast women who make them the centers of their insipid little universes.

/mean

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

maleficent

Up til he was killed, my best friend since kindergarten was a male, most of my closest friends now are men. These relationships are too good to screw up by throwing sex at it...

Mature men and women can absolutely be friends.

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ShaniFaye

Exactly!!! One of my closest friends is male and I've known him for 18 years, we had the talk a LONG time ago that we made such GOOD friends that having sex would be so wierd it would totally mess our relationship up. Does he think Im attractive? Yes he does, Do I think he is? Yes I do. Have we seen each other naked? Yes we have...we shared a hotel room together for 3 days in Vegas and Im not a shy woman by any means, plus it wasnt the first time I'd been in a stage of undress around him...did he automatically want to jump on me? No he didnt.

I think you used the key word maleficent, MATURE men and women can.

(Im sorry about your friend )

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

maleficent

Me too - -thank you.

My friend used to spend the night at my apartment on many nights he worked late. Many times I'd come out of my bedroom, and he'd be on the sofa sound asleep - he had keys, wasn't a big deal.

One night, my brother was camped on my sofa, and rather than go home or sleep on the floor, he decided my bed was big enough for the two of us - I woke up to his snoring, and was just ok -- nice to see you - and went back to sleep. Friends is friends.

A few theories for the other camp.
1. It's confidence boost for them thinking that every other guy in the world wants to bang their babe.
2. They want to bang every chick in the world, so they think every other guy does to.
3. Lack of confidence on their part , that they don't think this woman would actually want to stay with them.

Who knows...

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SparklingDot

It would be so weird to muck up any of my existing friendships with sex. I've known most of the guys I spend time with since before high school, and I would almost certainly see their childhood selves at some point in my mind's eye, That in itself would be creepy since I am in no way a pedophile.

I am friends with guys because I can't stand the way some girls are. And things are different with guys. I feel more relaxed, more comfortable. We grew up together, in all the glory of our high school marching band bonding. We've all seen each other in some stage of undress and it never bothers anyone because we don't think of each other in sexual ways.

It pisses me off to know that there are people who don't believe men and women can have a platonic relationship. Why can't we see each other as people instead of the kind of underwear we wear?

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17 seconds is all you really need
- Smashing Pumpkins

anti fishstick

no i don't. all my male friends ditched me because all they wanted was sex.

or,
i ditched them

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

mew

All my friends are guys, cept for 3. And only 1 of them lives around me. All of them that used to hang out with the gang kept ditching us (guys and me), so I just kept hanging out with them.

I like the stuff the guys do. Just relax, not crazy gossip and backstabbing. Its scary how Im understanding theyre ways of talking and their inside stuff. If someone said something remotely close to a spoon, you would automatically say "my spoons to big... I am a banana". Its from some commercial cartoonist.

I catch myself at work quoting and joking around with the girls and they have no clue what Im talking about. Apparently I smoke cheap crack. I am this close to getting my honorary penis.

I hang out with one guy in particular, mostly because he has enough fundage and time to spend as much as I do. A lot of our own friends ask us both if were dating. I hate that so much. Why cant a man and a woman hang out all the time? We can be best friends and not date or fuck. If he were a girl, it would be ok..or vise versa. We seriously need to stop thinking in the dark ages.

ngdawg

Of my 3 best friends, only 1 is female. the other 2 are married men. While there is some flirting, it's all in good fun-we'd never think of having sex.
Cute sidebar: On a trip to TN, my female friend and I shared a room(we always do on our trips) and, as she was the weekend's coordinator, our room was also the 'hospitality room'. My other best friend was standing with a few others, waiting for their itineraries,etc. I laid back on my bed, pointed to him and said, "come here , sweet thang". He hopped onto the bed, we rolled into a big body hug and he declared, in front of all there, "I've been waiting for this moment for THREE years!" I replied, "and this is as close as you're ever gonna get, too!"
There seems, at least for me, a type of freedom of self that I get with the friends of the opposite sex that I just don't feel with women friends. I have never had an angry argument with the men, even when we debate an issue. I have with the females.
Maybe my mentality is one of an 'i don't really give two shits about putting on airs for anyone' and guys seem to be that way more than women, although that is changing nowadays a bit, thankfully.

*Nikki*

The guys for friends thing never worked for me. I can have men as friends on the internet only.

Every in person guy I have tried to have as a friend has wanted sex or more then I was willing to offer.

I will stick with my boyfriend as my only in person guy friend. I don't really have an interest in having close friendships with other males at all.

amonkie

One of my closest friends is a guy, and we get along because we're a lot alike, but also worlds apart. I have absolutely no clue how he views me physically or sexually, other than he says I don't "dress to show off", but rather have class and taste, but that's because it just isn't an issue in our friendship.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Lieneke

I have a few male friends without having 'the sex' with them
It's just so cool to hang out with them and talk about lots of things without 'the' thing

raeanna74

Used to have LOTS of male friends and never had sex with any of them. Married hubby - we still have many mutual friends from college who for obvious reasons we don't swing with.

Currently most of our closer friends are coincidentally swingers too. Dawson70 here is one of such friends. He and his wife live just a couple blocks away from where we live. We've only played around with them twice in almost 2 years now. We spend a lot of time just talking and visiting with them. We go over and let our daughter play with theirs and their kids come over to our place now and then. I would say it's a comfortable relationship that isn't necessarily centered on sex. Just friends with benefits.

A lot of our swinger friends are like that. We've even gone to visit another swinger couple that we're good friends with and taken our daughter with. We went with the intention of just visiting and having fun and if our daughter (who was 3 at the time so hadn't a clue anything was 'up') took a nap we'd have fun. We did get to play but most of the visit was just good old plan friendship fun.

I know our situation is maybe a little different but common - guys can't expect us to give it up to EVERYONE. If they haven't the capacity to maintain a normal NON-sexual relationship then they need to bit of growing up or they'll never have anything BUT a sexual relationship with a girl and they'll be so terribly pussy-whipped.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

ShaniFaye

ahahaha you get that too huh? I got my honorary penis a few years ago (seriously, a few of my male friends had a Royal order of the honorary penis party for me)

I just wish the damn thing worked when I had to pee when I was out in the woods hiking

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Rubyee

Male friends with no sex involved are about all the friends I have.

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You don't know from fun.

Mehoni

99% of my friends are guys. Oh, and I'm ugly, so it's not that they want to have sex with me. It's just that most girls do not share my interests.

I like programming, RPGs, computers, books, Linux/Unix, horror movies, poker, politics etc. I've never been interested in fashion, make-up or chickflicks or things tgat are typically girly so to speak.

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There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth - all organisms eventually perish.

sillygirl

I haven't had a close girl friend in years. I recently got a new cell phone. While I was transferring my numbers, I realized that I only had like, three phone numbers in there that were for girls.... girls I rarely talk to, also.

My boyfriend's okay with the fact that I'll still go hang out with friends that are guys. I don't do it often, but he knows that I was friends with these guys before he and I got together, and that some of these guys were good friends of mine before we even met. The fact that he trusts me so much helps me trust him, as well as makes me want to show him he can trust me. Sure a bout of insecurity will get one or both of us at times, but it gets worked out and we're both happy when the day's over.

I've had relationships in the past that the guy got pissed off if I talked to any male but him. It was irritating, and I should have stood up for myself. The lack of trust proved itself when one messed around with someone else right after 'clarifying' our relationship.

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

maleficent

NO NO NO NO NO and NO.

Unless you are a child molster or something equally as heinous you are not ugly. No human being is ugly.

You may not be a supermodel, but who the hell is, but you are not ugly!

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Supple Cow

I didn't have any male friends who weren't after my goodies until I left high school (and even then, it was a while before that happened). Now that I have a boyfriend, it seems to be a lot easier to establish good friendships with men. It gets even easier when they, too, are in relationships already. This question hardly seems fair to ask without all of these qualifiers, though, because only complete asshats try to get sex out of you when they know you are in a committed relationship - and even worse, when they are.

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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

Frenchie

I have a bunch of friends that are guys and I have never even thought of having sex or sexual relations with. I don't know what they think. But my one guy friend is my best guy friend and he is like a brother to me. And then I have a bunch of other friends, but I am not attracted to them in anyother way than just being friends.

Everyone's relationships with their friends are different, so this was mine.

jRuntlets

I have tons of guy friends. I much prefer the guys, why? They don't PMS, they don't try to steal your boyfriend, they don't bitch about you behind your back.... The list could go on. I dislike women for their overall snootyness.

I grew up with 3 brothers, so being friends with guys just comes naturally. Girls don't like to be rough housed, that's what I'm used to. They don't take insults well, that's what I'm used to.

Girls. Blah.

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Horses come and go, but some leave permanent hoof prints on your life.

gabshu

The only guy friends I have are my old friends that I've know since they were 5, my boyfriend's friends, and my best friend who is gay altough he wont admit it.
I think it's hard to have relationships with guys, I have to admit that I'm attracted to guys that i meet all the time, so I don't really develop friendships with them.

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Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

RainbowBright

I would never trade my girlfriends in for anything. They understand things that I go through differently than guys do. I think neurotic girls need neurotic girlfriends that understand why we go nuts cuz he was an hour late or whatever.

But I do have guy friends too. And it's all good. Now that I'm married I guess it's different because of course there is no chance they're gong to get in my pants. So that makes it a little easier. And on that note my husband and I started out as "really good friends" and spent many a night sleeping in eachothers beds with no funny business.. It was only after we had a conversation and knew what we each expected from the relationship did things turn romantic. And if I had not been interested I think we would still have that friendship to this day.

BlueBongo

I've got a couple good friends now that this has never been an issue. Over the years I've had lots of guy friends (as they'd been easier to hang out with and talk to). I suppose it just depends on the premise of the relationship and what happens between the two people.... BUT communication is key and people should really setup boundaries if there are issues like this with their male friends/counter-parts.

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"Things can only get so bad before they have no choice but to get better.."

Nancy

All my current male friends have either been in love with me at some point or want to have sex with me but we refrain from letting that destroy our friendship with one another

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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Redgirl

I don't have any close guy friends and really the only ones I talk to regularly are my husband's friends. In highschool I had 2 male friends who didn't want to sleep with me- 1 was gay the other must have been my brother in a previous life. Those are the only 2 guys I've ever had as close friends who I was sure didn't want to do the squelchie.

I do have male friends who I know would probably sleep with me if I gave them any signal that I was up for it, but I think as long as I keep that distance then it's OK for us to be friends. We're not best friends, to me that should be reserved for your SO. I don't even have a female friend that I consider to be a best friend because my best friend is my husband.

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Dale Kemp

//SiN-edit: I forgot to look in my pants before posting.

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Trueheart

SiN

I've always had more guy friends than girl ones.

When I was single some of them I did have sex with.
But it certainly was never a requirement.

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minyn

its one of the few thigns "when harry met sally" was wrong on.

it is very possible to.

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"Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye"
~A3 "woke up this morning"

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

phedre

i find that unless its a girlfriend im really really close to (sister-close, which i can count all on one hand because i have 4 'sisters' =) , other women i know will start bringing random drama around. not always, but a lot of the time. mostly i dont mind but i do find that my guy friends are much more relaxing to be around. they also have this crazy sense of humor , its hard to describe. i dunno. but certainly sex doesnt get put into the equation. i would just start laughing at the thought of it. once we're friends, we're friends. cant imagine anything else. and i have quite a few of em too.

ariekitten

um almost all my friends are guys. and seeing how i've only been with a select few guys.....that would mean most of my friends (guy friends) and i do not have sex. and we don't really talk about sexual things unless they ask "hey i saw this cool position online....do you think my girl would like it?" LoL

for some reason i just dont think i get along with girls too well....(unless they are tfp-ers) like other girls have said....they tend to bring drama with them, and guys tend to relax the mood and relieve the tension.....it's all good.

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>'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

Blonddie

Yes, but now most of them are hubbys friends first. I have always had male friends-- alot when I was younger-- I guess when you get older you hang around people your own age-- so most of my friends are couples now.

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"There's one in every family...two in mine actually.."--- Zazu

Chloe

I have tons of male friends in which there is no sex involved. None of them have thought that male-female relationships need to involve sex. We all basically stick to having sex with our girlfriends/boyfriends (when we have one).

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"If something ain't growing, it's dead."

pinkie

Of course. Most of my closest guy friends I wouldn't even want to have sex with... However, I can't say the same for them.

robtomas

Oops, Forgot to look in my pants.

Jonsgirl

I've always made better friends with guys than I have with girls. The few real friends I have now are guys, and I've never even thought about having sex with them. It's much more of a brother/ sister relationship. Or they're like friends that I can play harder, talk nastier, and joke around with without anyone getting their feelings hurt.

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Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

sapphire

I have had a lot of male friends without sex ever getting involved. I never have to worry about what I say around them or how they are going to react. It's also a great way to get a male perspective on things.

braindamage351

Yeah...ignore whatever I may have posted

onodrim

My entire life, all of my closest friends have been male. I just get along with men better, and I can be quite the tomboy, so it just works best that way. Of all the relationships I've had with men, the only one that ever turned sexual was when Secret asked me out and he became my SO rather than just a friend. But otherwise, I've always had male friends and never had any weird sexual tension. In my opinion, it should be no problem to be friends with the opposite sex (or same if you're homosexual of course) and still have completely non-sexual relationships.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

:::OshnSoul:::

of course- I used to have quite a few, but now only a couple- I am married so you can see where it could be awkward for the males....but I tend to get along more with the opposite sex- there's no "boy talk" or "gossip" or discussing hair/makeup/clothes....just plain fun, humor, and good time.