yellowchef

Ive tried things with girls and it peaks my interest.. I want to try some more

I LOVE guys though.. maybe girls.

I just dont see a real reason to go around denying my urges..

KinkyKiwi

interesting thread..rubyee just had to say..your avatar is the cutest thing i've ever seen!!

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snowy

I have managed to go four years without identifying myself as anything, which really angers people for some odd reason. I have enjoyed the company of both men and women, and I truly believe love overrides the societal construct of gender and the biological idea of sex. I don't think we fall in love with a penis or a vagina; we fall in love with a person.

Sexually, however, I find it easier to get with men where I live, and so I do so. But if an attractive woman were to fall in my lap, I wouldn't say no.

That said, I still won't classify myself.

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pinkie

Good point. On that note, I think I've always been bi... I mean, I had my first orgasm with a girl when I was around 9 or 10 years old! I was attracted to my girl cousin, and I liked to look at naked pictures of women, all around that same age. For a little kid, I was a perv... haha.

I had been masturbating for longer than that but that was my first "girl" encounter.

KinkyKiwi

hahaha i didnt even know what an orgasm WAS when i was that age...

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

lurkette

I had similar experiences - I had my first orgasm when I was about 5. I had my first girl encounter around 10 or so with a cousin who was gorgeous and er...experimental. The first time I KNEW I was bi was when I was about 14. I was watching "Moon Over Parador" (some stupid movie with Richard Dreyfus) and there was this scene toward the end where there's this big carnaval-type parade, and this woman in a showgirl kind of costume was walking down the street shaking her tits, and they were perfect, round, juicy tits, and I remember getting all wet and tingly and rewinding that little bit over and over and over and feeling horribly guilty. I may have to go watch that movie again just to see what got me so bothered

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Ariel

I would have to say im bi-curious...just because i havnt had the chance to be with a girl yet. I have had a few make-out experiences with girls but nothing more then that.I would like to go father just to see if i like it as much as i think i would lol.

zombie_sympathi

i have to agree with those who said things to the effect of sexuality being more fluid and less binary. i voted bisexual because i am attracted to both males and females [although females moreso... however, i am in a loving relationship with a guy now.] but i don't really identify as bisexual. i consider myself somewhere in between.

Janey

definitely bi, but safely ensconced in a marriage with a guy. I know I'm not gay, but i love tomasturbate a lot, and i find the sympatico with other women to be stress free, less of a political thing than with guys.

Sweetpea

I certainly consider myself bisexual. I think there is something very beautiful and erotic about woman, the way their breasts are so sensual and their curves are so erotic But I always feel an equal pull towards men, who also are erotic and sensual in their own way . . . it's the best of both worlds to be attracted to woman and men.

Although i have been married to a man for 3 years now, and my husband is my best friend and a great lover i still Fantasize about woman on a regular basis and he's cool with that. I think i could have had a committed relationship with a man or a woman . . . i don't think it would have mattered to me what gender i fell in love with. I could have just as easily fallen in love with a woman as i did with my husband, picking someone to share your life with isn't about gender to me at all, i think that committed and honest relationships are built on a soul connection, friendship and trust and mututal respect and i think both genders could offer than for me . . .

Sweetpea

edited... because what i said then isn't how i feel now

Sweetpea

*bump*

I'm still bisexual

And we have a lot of new ladies on tfp now who might want to offer their thoughts.

sweetpea

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Supple Cow

Aww, that's a pity. It would be nicer to read about your evolution rather than see that you've censored yourself.

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abaya

Yeah, what *did* you write, Sweetpea? No censoring needed with this crowd, we don't hold much against people as far as I can tell...

As for me, I don't even know if I posted here before, but I lean quite heavily towards the bi-curious side (if not right into the bisexual side at times). I haven't applied these feelings in real life, unless you count making out with my best friend when I was about 8... but that was only to feel what french-kissing felt like, not because I was horny. Mostly, I'd just like to make out with a girl intentionally, and feel what a woman's body would be like... (Breasts seem nice). I think I mentioned fantasizing about a girl with a strap-on awhile back... could be interesting.

Of course, these are mostly passing interests, since my hetero relationship w/ktspktsp is most important to me, and the bi-stuff is more of a curiousity (for now). If I wanted to act on it, we would talk about it first and I would never do anything without him feeling comfortable with it. Then again, maybe he'd like to do the filming...

EDIT: Reading back over this thread, did that bi-curious experimenting orgy ever take place? Damn, it sounds like a LOT of us could use some of that to try things out in a safe place. I know I would go nuts on more than a few of you ladies in here, if that ever happened...

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Sweetpea

I said something about how i thought the majority of women might be bi-curious. Which was an assumption and not a reflection of real life... and it isn't how i feel now.

And yes... i censored myself a bit. You can Spank me for it.



sweetpea

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Sweetpea

Are you offering to experiment?

If that were to ever take place... I'm in.



sweetpea

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snowy

I'm still neither here nor there, though I am in a hetero relationship and plan on being in it for a long time to come. I've done enough to know I'm happy where I am.

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Gilda

So I'm looking at the poll results after I voted and there are 19 votes for lesbian. So I'm thinking, where are the rest of you? Then again there are some 300 votes there, and I don't think I've seen a third of that total actually posting, so maybe it's just a lurking thing?

I identified as straight as a teen, but that was mostly due to pressure from my family and community to conform to expectations. My twin sister was openly bisexual, at least she was open with me, so that might be my natural inclination.

I've had more than one therapist say that men's and women's sexuality are much different in terms of orientation, that men's seems to be hardwired at birth with large clusters at the ends and a smaller number in the middle, while women seem to be more evenly spread along a continuum, with a lot more in the middle compared to men and the clusters on the end a lot smaller, again not in absolute terms but in comparison to men.

My therapist back in California explained as women's orientation being predominantly straight, with a much smaller number of truly homosexual women compared to men--a little less than half the incidence, around 5-6% for the guys, and between 2 and 3% for the ladies.

Also, the number of women who have indentified from early on as lesbian and have never expressed sexual desire for men or had sexual encounters with men is very, very small compared to the same factors in homosexual men. Most male homosexuals know they're homosexual very early on and that's pretty stable. Most lesbians have had sexual contact with men and many have in their past identified as straight either to others or themselves or both.

Anyway, his theory of female orientation was that most (without a specified number) women, or perhaps just a very large minority are naturally bisexual, with variant degrees of sexual attraction to men and women. This leaves more influence for nurture, and because we live in a heteronormative society, where there are overt and covert pressures to conform to the straight life, and because society is set up around the straight life, it's the easier choice. When more than one path is available, the easier one that leads to the same destination will be the one chosen most often. This may lead to many even identifying as straight despite having a residual attraction to women, and that does make logical sense. If you've never had sex with a woman, and don't intend to, calling yourself straight isn't the least bit deceptive.

On the other end, most women who identify as exclusively lesbian, such as me, have had sexual contact with males, with many having identified as straight earlier in their lives, often having been married to a man. Lesbians are far more likely to have had a male abuser, either physical or sexual, in their past than straight or bisexual women, and are much more likely to have been raped.

This, above, describes my sexual history quite accurately.

Then there are women who just aren't into guys. As Grace puts it, she's a lesbian because men smell funny and she finds the idea of sex with guys icky.

Thus, the theory goes, there are those who identify from the get go as straight, a very small number who identify initially as lesbian, and a large group of bisexuals in the middle who are pushed by environmental influences toward one end or the other. Note that this is not the same thing as choosing to be gay or bisexual, it's a theory of the possible causation, which still remains largely out of the persons individual control.

While men's sexuality seems to be hardwired, women's seems to be more of a case of predisposition that is then subject to environmental influence.

Oh, and, even though it was quite some time back, someone said she was 90% lesbian 10% straight, and asked if bisexual meant 50-50. The answer is no. Most bisexuals tend to be more attracted to one sex or the other, while retaining a lesser base attraction to the other sex. Kinsey rated sexuality on a scale of 0 to 6, with 0 and 1 being straight, 5 and 6 being homosexual, and 2-4 being bisexual. That 90/10 lesbian would likely put you at 5 on this scale: primarily homosexual and only incidentally heterosexual. That's where I am, by the way. Grace is a solid 6. Sissy is a 0, not the least bit interested in women except as friends.

Gilda

abaya

Oh, I know you would be in. But I think it will take me a bit longer to get the point where I can act on these things. Or at least to the point where this kind of action would be spontaneous and okay (e.g. at an experimenting party). I am a slow-mover unless I suddenly get the figurative balls to go crazy and jump in... which isn't about to happen around here, at least not with our group of friends.

Ktspktsp is very supportive of my exploring... hell, we just talked out a super hot FFM fantasy tonight over MSN/webcam, it was incredible! He knows I have fantasized about this one girl in some of my courses, about her with a strap-on and all, and he helped me visualize how it might go (she's conservative Christian however, so no go in real life!)... which was just HOT. But it is a big step to go from that to real life, and I am not yet sure if I could handle it (or if he could, or us together).

So, if this group ever decide to do one of these experimenting parties, I might end up going. But no guarantees just yet!

(Owl, does your comment mean you wouldn't come to play with us??)

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snowy

It would require some serious renegotiation about the bounds of our monogamy for me to do so. Don't think I won't fantasize about it, but it will never happen, and I am okay with that.

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cadre

I'm with redgril and onodrim, I put bisexual. For me women are mainly a sexual attraction, I'll fool around but I'm not one for a relationship with women. That and I'm very picky about women (as in alot of the women I could fool around with are not attractive to me). But I am with a man now and he is open to three somes and some experimentation on my part. I'm not as picky about men though and I find it more comfortable to be with a guy long term than a woman.

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onodrim

Heh cadre, I saw my name in your post and had to go back and re-read what I wrote myself because it's been so long!

I'm glad I did though because with time and new insight and experiences I'd have to adjust my thoughts a bit. I still identify myself as bi-sexual, but in a deeper sense as opposed to a purely sexual attraction. Now, I don't know that I could ever enter into a commited a relationship with a woman such as marriage, but I do believe that I could have a very serious and meaningful relationship with another woman aside from the sex itself. As Gilda very informatively pointed out, bisexuality seems to exist along a spectrum. I'd say I am likely around a 4 on that scale. I definintely have a stronger preference for men and imagine myself with a man as a life long partner. However, I am drawn to women on both an emotional and physical level and could easily hold a steady relationship with another woman.

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-Carl Sagan

Gilda

The way you describe it would make you a 2; bisexual but more attracted to the opposite sex. A 4 would be bisexual, but more attracted to the same sex.

I'm one of those who is definitely into fantasizing about sex with other partners in particular two or three women here at TFP, but would very likely not act on that because my commitment to my mate is so strong that it would feel like a betrayal.

Gilda

onodrim

Thank you for the clarification.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

abaya

Well, alright then. No, I completely understand. I feel the same way about ktspktsp, even though I am curious as ever. It is mostly an up-and-down curiousity, though this week I seem to be a bit more horny than usual (in terms of attraction to women)!

I know that it would take some major discussion with him before I even entertained the idea of acting on anything (and likewise, I know it would go the same if he was curious about trying things). We are very open about our desires and needs, and I love that facet of our relationship. I am very satisfied with the monogamy we have, and the hot fantasies we can share. But I don't think we have closed the door completely on the topic... but I like it where it is, for now.

Still, let us know if anyone has a party!

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snowy

Same goes for me. I can't imagine doing something deliberately that would hurt him.

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ngdawg

Voted definitely straight as I don't think fantasies really count. My best friend and I played around as teens and at that time it was really fun, but I LOVE men, have more male friends than female and, quite frankly, enjoy a good old fashioned missionary pounding LOL

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cellophanedeity

My self-prescribed Kinsey number shifts on occasion. It may just be due to the people I encounter though.

I'm definitely bisexual though, with an estimated average Kinsey of three.

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Sweetpea

Well, i Love men too... and an old fashioned missionary pounding? sign me up hehe
And i also typically have always been friends with guys, not esp. women for some reason. I find I often relate to men better.

I find my sexuality shifts periodically... some months i'm really into fantacizing about women and that's all i will have fantasies about... other months, it's all about men... I've given up trying to understand why it shifts and i just accept it

When i think of women... it's not just on a sexual attraction level... I hope that one day I will have a relationship with a woman on an emotional/sexual level, but i admit... i will probably always feel more comfortable in a hetero relationship, i'm not sure if this is because of society or because that's just what i'm used to.

sweetpea

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Supple Cow

Why is this thread so scary to me!??! Eeeeek!

/me calms down a bit

I finally voted in the poll. I must have read this entire thread at least four times since it's been created.

I think if I would have voted in here before, I would have picked 'bi-curious', but I finally settled on 'definitely bisexual'. I'm the kind of person who would dive into lesbian experiences just because I wanted firmly to stand up for my sister's right to be a lesbian, completely disregarding my own feelings and desires. So, for a while, I thought maybe I was just fooling myself into thinking I was attracted to women.

Recently, I've come to a better understanding of my attraction to both men and women. It's not just about the person; it's also about the circumstance. That's big for me, to admit that it's not just about finding a person who resonates with me and to whom I am attracted, so I'll repeat it. It's not just about the person; it's also about the circumstance.

With men, because it's so easy to be part of what's socially acceptable, there are many many many more circumstances that I will find acceptable as a requisite to beginning a relationship or sexual activity. With women, I am apparently more selective. Extremely selective... both in the matter of which people I find attractive and which circumstances I find acceptable. Looking back, I realize that unappealing circumstances have already crushed a number of potential relationships and/or opportunities for sexual activity with women I have encountered.

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shoegirl

No worries, SC, it was scary to me as well. I also finally voted - and ended up bi-curious. While I consider myself to be extremely straight, every once in awhile I find myself attracted to one girl or another. And although, I've never acted on it - I wouldn't rule it out, either. I'd agree, it's all about the circumstance.

*Nikki*

Well I am looking back and seeing I didn't really write anything here, which shocked me!

I am definately bisexual. However my husband is very monogamous and this restrains me. He believes that our relationship should be exclusive and I must admit I knew this before marrying him. However there have been many times already I have just wanted to reach out and touch someone Knowing that it would hurt and upset him stops me though.

If I were still unattached I would more then likely be in a girl/girl relationship.

cadre

I'm not married but I am kind of the same way. I'm thinking it's that "you want what you can't have" thing. It gets me every time.

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mixedmedia

I voted bi-curious. I had a brief relationship with a girlfriend when I was about 10 or so which I abruptly broke off when it started to get "heavy." I think for years after that I was ashamed of it and as a result was strongly turned off by the idea of sex with another woman. But, for the last few years, I've had fantasies about other women and I don't think I'd refuse an opportunity to be with a woman who turned me on. So I guess I got over it, lol. Only thing is, I'd prefer more masculine women as opposed to the average male fantasy of two pornstar-types getting it on. I guess that connotes my natural tendency towards straight relationships....

Miss Ina

I've only ever been with men, but almost 100% of my fantasies are of women. Men in person are great, but in my imagination the only thing that turns my crank is a woman. I voted bi-curious because I'd love to try something with a woman but I have no idea where to start. I guess I would find a woman just like finding a man ... haha.

Curiosity is definitely the right word for it, because I just have no idea what it would be like and I'd love to satisfy that curiosity, even if it turns out that women "in person" just don't do it for me. (I doubt that, but I just don't know for sure!)

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Biffaloo420

I consider myself definitely straight. However, I am starting to understand more and more of why women would rather be with another woman than with a man!

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ClostGoth

I'm still hedging on posting about why I voted the way I did. I'm definitly bi-sexual. But I've never had any experience with _anyone_ MALE OR FEMALE, other than my SO. I love men, but am equally attracted to women - and I do think that circumstances play a large role in the level of attraction. I don't really notice people sexually for the most part, so maybe that's not a fair assessment. I'm certainly not just basing it on fantasies or dreams. I'm open to anything. And there's a particular woman I _think_ I've actually been in love with for a long time. My husband swears that he wouldn't consider it cheating (he thinks it's hot) but honestly I'm not sure I wouldn't. I don't think experimenting is worth jeapordizing our relationship because I do value it so much. Nor would the possible results be worth jeapordizing my friendship with this woman. It's a confusing morass and all in all I'm glad that we practice monogamy. It keeps me from having to resolve my tangled emotions in that arena. I'm pretty sure that if I could over-come my own body image issues I would be willing to engage a third party in our relationship, or find a female love interest with his blessing. I can't help but wonder if he would _really_ be as okay with it as he thinks he would. I would still consider it cheating if he suddenly developed an interest in men and wanted to sleep with one... It would hurt if he sneaked and lied about it, no matter the gender of the partner. So I answered bi-curious because that is all I will probably ever be.

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CaliLivChick

Put me down for an invitation to that!

CaliLivChick

Where do you live again?

ash

i voted bi-curious, i love men, but there is something about a woman i just cant let go of.

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