Supple Cow

One of the women who lives with me is slowly starving herself (eating in ridiculously small portions, once or twice daily) and is also emotionally unstable. She fainted last week, and made up some bogus medical excuse (she's pre-med) that was obviously not the case. She just isn't eating. She knows better, but being thin is more important. She also likes to the blame the pill for her previous depression and anorexia and acts like everything is okay again. What do you do with a friend like this?

I don't feel right pretending nothing is happening, but nothing I can do or say will solve her problems for her. She has to want help for it to work. Any advice?

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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

minyn

Get her help. She may fight it but if there are others who are professionals involved, they can handle it. If she is fainting it is very serious and even if you have to resort to calling her parents, do it. but it is very thoughtful of you to not stand back. have you confronted her on it? if you choose to do that, talk to someone about how to go about it properly becuase from what i remember she is mentally on eggshells and saying the wrong thing could drive her deeper into this mental illness.

but no less i wish you the best. i have been in her shoes (not to that extreme) but no less, you are a good friend even if she doesnt realize it.... she may hate you for doing what you must, but down the road she will understand and even if she doesnt, you will be able to live with yourself becuase if somethign bad happens it is a horrible guilt to live with on your part if you stand back and let this run its course.

G'luck.

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SixEdxMia

I would consider myself to be a expert on his one.Please feel free to message me.

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jazz

I had a friend who took yellow jackets and slowly began to starve herself. Lots of people told her how good she was looking and that only fueled her need to be thinner. She got angry at anyone who questioned if she was ok. Her parents went to a doctor and finally got her help. In the end she did distance herself from her friends that tried to help, but I think that is a better trade off then having her dead.

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"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -Michael Dermott

la petite moi

I was anorexic and bulimic.

It started about four years ago mostly because of my mother. I started taking yellow jackets, like jazz was saying her friend did, and was starving myself. It was because I had nothing else to do. I wanted to be beautiful and thin...but also, I had no other hobbies, really.

I lost 22 pounds and was down to 98 pounds when I finally ended up going to France- my dream country- to see one of my friends. While I was there (three months) I had something to do and learn and see. I began to eat again. This induced binge eating which rocketed me up to 125 pounds. I finally realised I had a beautiful passion to live for- France. And with that, I began to slowly and healthily lose 10 pounds to get to my ideal weight.

I would suggest getting your friend some professional help. Also try to get her to some how pick up a hobby or a passion. Encourage her.

Sorry for the long post. I hope everything works out with your friend. Definitely DEFINITELY get her some help.

Supple Cow

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not sure if this is just because I've never experienced this, but it doesn't seem as if she's in a position where she'll need to be hospitalized (or will die) if she continues this way for a long time. The time she fainted was probably aggravated by other things like the drinking she had done the night before and her lack of sleep. Our roommate who lived with her last year said that nobody told her anything about it and when summer had passed, she just came back and was eating normally again. I'm inclined to do the same thing, but at the same time, I picked up the name of the eating disorder specialist at our school's counseling center. School gets out next week and so she can't see her until the Fall, and I'm pretty sure she's not going to die over summer break, so are there any good (and productive) ways of saying something about this to her? Or should I just see what happens over the summer?

__________________
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

maleficent

You can't help someone who doesn't think they have a problem, or doesn't want the help. First step is getting her to recognize that she might have a problem. As hokey as it sounds, see if some of her other friends and family are seeing the same thing that you are, talk to her as a group, not to gang up on her, but to make her realize that there are people who are concerned about her, and think that she's got a problem. Ultimately, it's up to her.

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