thoughts on online relationships?
 

In your experience, do they work out well? Would you ever consider meeting up with someone you met online... through chat, or lets say even through TFP? I've been warned against so many bad things i'm just afraid i'm going to lose my faith that somewhere out there, i might meet someone actually legit who doesn't want to do anything weird and who's actually who they say they are...

i'm not in this situation yet, but doesn't necessarily mean as romantic, can just be for a friendship... thoughts?

I think I'd meet someone. It'd probably be in a public setting, where it'd be more comfortable. But you never know what'll happen unless you try, right? Who wants to miss out on all the good things in life because they're afraid something bad might happen?

My answer is a resounding NO!!! Even though I knew the guy personally before we had an online thing, he went away and completely changed. But I never knew it because he was always the same sweet guy with me that he had always been. It is scary and dangerous to carry out online relationships, at least from my point of view. That is why I never talk to anyone I don't know. Oddly enough, forums like this don't bother me.

I think they *can* be just fine, so long as one is cautious and smart about it.

I met my BF online, in an IRC chan.
Me, USA. Him, Germany.

I've been living in Germany with him for 1.5 yrs now, and things are great. :)

I've met over 50 people that I met on another forum on the internet. I'm currently in a serious relationship with one of them (we moved in together, I came all the way to Washington from Ontario, Canada). :)

If you know and trust these people, things can usually work out. Just be smart about it, like Sin said.

I've met tons of people from the internet and I met both my x and my current boyfriend this way. In my case it turned out well since I'm still together with my current boyfriend and I still talk with some of the others I've met.

i know that many people feel weird about meeting people this way because it's not "normal" which is a shame because I still think that it's a good way to find new friends/significant others ;)

I've met two people that I met online.

The first one I really shouldn't have gone to visit. Nothing bad happened, it was just not the best idea. I haven't talked to him since I visited. Which is for the best really.

The second person I've gone out to visit twice. Met him in a chat room nearly 3 years ago now. We chatted nearly every day for quite awhile, we don't as much now since we're both more busy with our own lives. But we still chat a few times a week. I think he's a fantastic person, one of my best friends. If I lived where he lives I'd want more in terms of a relationship, and we've talked about that recently. But I don't live there so at the moment there really isn't anything to discuss.

As far as people from TFP goes, well, I'll be meeting somebody in a month :) I'll be out in his area in a month for a concert and he's offered to take me out on the town. I figure why not? Right now I'm still getting to know him but he seems like a really nice guy.

As far as a romantic relationship with somebody online, I don't think I could do it. Because it would mean having a long distance relationship and I won't put myself through that again.

I've met some quality people online. You just have to be careful.
Anyone who seems too good to be true...probably is. Meet in public, be safe, and have fun.

ooops

//SiN-edit. Oops indeed. Please pay attention, people.

I would probably never carry out a romantic relationship online, but I do have many online friendships, and I would not have a problem meeting with them in a public area, probably with another safety person along with me.

Romantically, I would be way too afraid- unless it was in a moderated area- like an online dating service. I think they usually guard for creepiness when taking applications.

I think its all good if you are very cautious. I met my boyfriend online about 10 months ago. He lives in the states, and I am from Canada. We have visited each other a couple times- and everything has worked out great.

I say go ahead if that is what you want. But when meeting for the first time I'd take a friend along. I guess I sort of have an online dating relationship. We met in person and then began to get more acquainted over msn. We see each other about every 2 weeks sometimes every week and it has really been great.

I'm with SD on this one. Good fun when you're typing but in person, especially without an escort, no way Jose...

I met my ex online before we met in person a month later, and he was sort of prescreened since he got my AIM sn accidentally from my brother, but anyhoo... I think it's a convenient way to initally get to know somebody and find out if you have common interests, but I think I'd pull shy of actually carrying out an online dating relationship without meeting the person relatively early into it, just to confirm that what I think I'm getting is really what I'm getting.

Its never worked for me, friendships at leat, I feel too weird hanging out with these people, and they always turned out to be really annoying or something. I guess internet people lack substance for me or whatever.
But you might as well try, if you play it safe you've got nothing to loose.

Go for it -- the big question is what do you have to loose vs. what might you gain? As long as you are safe when you meet in person for the first time, then what difference does it make the way you met?

I met Lebell through friends; but we started talking by chatting on line. We met in person for the first time at our friends' house. We took the risk, yet played it safe and look where it has led us. IMHO the only true tragedy in life is a missed opportunity for love.

I used to think online relationships were creepy, but for a lot of single people what other options do you really have? Work- frowned upon (at least in the US), School/college- not a student, bars- like you can even talk usually with loud music plus a myriad of other issues... So where do you go to meet people?
As long as you're safe when meeting them in person, then I don't see a problem. I think it's going to be much bigger from now on.

I met mine man of a year online.

How do you know if you don't take the chance?

Since High School 90% of my friends have been people I chatted with online. The first time i met someone I had a friend with me and it was at a public park.. I must say that was kinda creepy.. because the guy was a creep. BUT I am happy with the memories I do have with old friends I met online.

I met my boyfriend by emailing him after reading his personal ;)
We're both very happy.

I say go for it and definently meet them in a public place... take a friend with you if you are a little worried.

I agree that you shouldn't pass up an opportunity for love.

i've actually met a couple people online. more than i'd like to admit. i find that if you don't expect anything (romantic or otherwise), then it will all work out fine. too many people meet with this idea of a "date"... a couple of my friends have brought me along when they were meeting someone like that and it went horrible. people also project themselves how they want to on the internet, it can be easy to get fooled. that doesn't necessarily mean everyone out there is trying to fool you, or that it's dangerous to meet people online.. just be safe about it. and know what you're getting into. it's easier to meet someone with no attachments to that person because it can be a weird relationship online before meeting.. build up the relationship *after* meeting, not before.

i met Will online about three years ago through something like myspace but we started becoming good friends and confidantes despite the silliness of how we met. that was behind us. and i never once thought of him as someone i could be with back then.. when i met him in person, i didn't expect anything, although we had started talking on the phone regularly almost every night. i was worried it wouldn't go well at all but i took a chance and now we've been together for almost 5 months.. i feel i'll be with him for a very long time.

I have really mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it worries me how little you could know about the person, or what they could be hiding, but those fears could apply to an in-person meeting too....

So the jury's still out for me... But I think if you're okay with it, and you're sure about it, then whats to stop you?

Rocinante and I met online and we have been together for almost 6 years now and are delirously happy. Although, there quite a few jerks before I found him lol.

My boyfriend and I first knew each other from marching band at school. However, it was only until we began talking online that we really got to know each other. Finally I asked him over to my house, and things progressed from there. We've been dating for almost a year now.

My only advice to people wanting to follow online relationships is to be very careful.

My boyfriend and I met online....talked for a couple of months off and on, and then decided to meet up. It was love at first sight....the second night is when it all heated up...and ever since then we have been dating and it is the greatest thing. I just recently moved in with him the middle of April and everything is so good for us. I believe in online relationships....more and more people seem to be doing it...so i think it needs to be accepted more.

I would have thought that I had replied to this thread a long time ago,I guess not.

Anywho..... It's a very basic rule...don't talk to strangers.

I can't seem to follow...but I am sure its a rule for some safe reason.

and you're tryin' to get me on a bus to see Jay?

I was married with kids (and had been with my partner for over 12 years), when I met this dude on a forum we both posted at. I fell for him big time, marriage issues followed, I met him and we were together for around six months when it kinda looked like it wasn't going to work.

There was a distance issue, but also, the more time I spent with him, the more I found there was nothing more to our relationship than the best sex I had ever had. And bizarrely enough, I couldn't quite build a substantial relationship on pure lust.

Now single, I met a man from the US on another forum over a year ago, and still enjoy regular emails and dirty phone calls from him whenever possible. We will meet one day, I guess. But mostly to fulfill our sexual fantasies.

But I've met a lot of other really great people online (forums again - yes, I am indeed a forum whore) - many of whom are close, real life friends. One just has to have their wits about them. Be cautious....discretionary....but also take the risk. Most of the time it may just be worth it.

I was pretty apprehensive about online dating, but a group of friends I fell in with had previously done all these quizzes and stuff on tickle (previously emode)… so I thought I’d join up and take the quizzes and see what it was all about. I was so intrigued by all the people that were on there! I was going to be moving to Minneapolis from a smaller town up on lake superior so I thought I’d see if I could meet a few people who lived there once I got down there. Usually I started by chatting with them online, then meeting up at a park or a bar or something. I ended up meeting about 8 guys total… some were really cool and some really, really weren’t. At first, I was reckless and put myself in situations that were potentially dangerous… But I kinda wizened up after the first few. Then, I came across theh profile of the guy who is now my boyfriend. I had a really good feeling about it, and we chatted for about 2 weeks before we met. I had just moved in to an apartment in the same neighborhood he grew up in, so he showed me all the cool little spots to explore with my dog.

We've been together for about a month now, and things are going pretty good. He’s actually the one who turned me on to tfp!

So, I’m a bit longwinded here… but online dating can be good if you’re open minded about it. Just don’t open up too far and put yourself in a dangerous situation…

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I met my now fiance from playing Everquest.
He came to visit me a couple years ago. Its kinda hard to date but we do visit back and forth. It all depends though. I talked to Tenchie069 everyday for 10+ hours at a time for the longest time. We knew and do know each other inside out. Our relationship is base on mostly talking so we have a really good open line of communication when we are together in person.

I've known of a few people hooking up through an internet meeting. One of the couples ended up getting married. Three of these couples pursued relationships with people who were over seas. All of them were out of town. Pretty interesting. With this technology, anything is possible I guess.

I met the love of my life in a pool hall. The sky's the limit. ;)

I agree.

I've met lots of people from the net - men and women. Most of them were just friends, but I have dated a few guys I initially met online. None of them worked, in the end, but I don't blame that one anything having to do with them having been 'net guys'. We just weren't compatible, in the end.

As many have said, you just have to use good judgement and understand the risks.