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Post holiday humor

THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
at the holiday parties, had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales, there arose such a number.
Then I walked to the store, less a walk, more a lumber!
I remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
the gravies and sauces and meats nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
and the way that I never said "no thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husbands old shirt,
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt-
I said to myself, as only I can,
"you can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dips,
get rid of the fruitcake and crackers and chips.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick,
I want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or cornbread or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore!
But- isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Author unknown

That's cute!
Thanks Angel and happy holidays to you. :)

:lol:

That's cute... and oh-so-true, isn't it... :(

cute. i'd read it to my mom but i think it would just make her think she had to diet more or something.

That is so cute! And for me so true. I was just thinking I really need to get back on my diet!

Sadly, too true! Very cute, thanks for sharing. Hope you had a wonderful, tasteful, holiday Angel.

Quote:

Originally posted by sexymama
Hope you had a wonderful, tasteful, holiday Angel.

Thanks! I did indeed.
I'm thinking your events were much bigger! ;)
Congrats!

heh heh....very cute....and ooohhh so true.

My diet was going so well til the hoildays. now I've gained back half of what I lost......I may be wearing a moo-moo this summer :'(

LOL. Thanks, it's good to know that I am not the only one struggling in to her jeans at the moment.

Quote:

Originally posted by galaxygirl
LOL. Thanks, it's good to know that I am not the only one struggling in to her jeans at the moment.

Jeans? Did you say jeans?!!!! Lucky you....I'm thinkin' sweats is my dress wear for the next couple of weeks! :lol: