A little support for us "20 somethingers" - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

diddagirl · 11-07-2003, 09:51 PM

This is a forward I got...and I wanted to pass it on, cause I know it really elped me put things in perspective.

"Being Twenty-Something"

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Pass this on to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.....

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!!!!

sillygirl · 11-07-2003, 10:53 PM

Rubyee · 11-08-2003, 07:20 AM

Yep, that's me to a T. I agree that as much as society tries to paint this age of life as an easy, carefree time, it most certianly isn't. This is the age where you transition from child to adult, from student to bill payer, and from kid to parent for some of us. It is hard to deal with, and realizing that other people are scared about the same things really helps.

Averett · 11-08-2003, 07:28 AM

Thanks for posting that. Those things are just what I'm going through right now.

wannabenakid247 · 11-08-2003, 11:32 AM

Shit man reading that was mad. That has just summed all my feelings up. I am nearly 27 now and im starting to freak out about it. Cheers for that i feel more normal now

shannon · 11-08-2003, 04:09 PM

i found i related to a lot of that. which is scary cause i'm technically only 19. it's good to know i'm not absolutely insane for thinking those things, thanks.

anti fishstick · 11-08-2003, 04:29 PM

yeah i got that forward before. during a time that was especially stressful and i especially related to it. i'm only 20 and i'm feeling it =/

scary times.

diddagirl · 11-08-2003, 05:11 PM

glad everyone is enjoying it

torn lace · 11-08-2003, 08:33 PM

i definately can relate to that a lot, although i'm a freshman in college. i don't party hard to just get drunk or randomly hookup with people, and the majority of people here give me shit for that, but your post clarified that i'm on the right page...

mydragonfido · 11-10-2003, 12:48 AM

Thanks for the post that was cool just thing I needed for this 25 year old woman.

vveronica · 11-13-2003, 12:25 PM

it was great.. I had my crisis a lil early.. I was attacked and barely survived. So I look at life so different than i did. I think it has actually made me a better person and made me go much farther than i thought i'd be at 23

11-07-2003, 09:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
diddagirl Addict Location: Calgary, AB	A little support for us "20 somethingers" This is a forward I got...and I wanted to pass it on, cause I know it really elped me put things in perspective. "Being Twenty-Something" They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Pass this on to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion..... GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!!!! __________________ "Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done." -Matthew Arnold Last edited by diddagirl; 11-07-2003 at 10:33 PM..

11-07-2003, 10:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Wow. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

11-08-2003, 07:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
Rubyee I'm baaaaack!	Yep, that's me to a T. I agree that as much as society tries to paint this age of life as an easy, carefree time, it most certianly isn't. This is the age where you transition from child to adult, from student to bill payer, and from kid to parent for some of us. It is hard to deal with, and realizing that other people are scared about the same things really helps. __________________ You don't know from fun.

11-08-2003, 07:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Thanks for posting that. Those things are just what I'm going through right now. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

11-08-2003, 04:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
shannon Psycho Location: Canada	i found i related to a lot of that. which is scary cause i'm technically only 19. it's good to know i'm not absolutely insane for thinking those things, thanks. __________________ "When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. And when I look up I just trip over things"

11-08-2003, 11:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
wannabenakid247 Registered User Location: Wales, UK	Shit man reading that was mad. That has just summed all my feelings up. I am nearly 27 now and im starting to freak out about it. Cheers for that i feel more normal now

11-08-2003, 04:29 PM	#7 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	yeah i got that forward before. during a time that was especially stressful and i especially related to it. i'm only 20 and i'm feeling it =/ scary times. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

11-08-2003, 05:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
diddagirl Addict Location: Calgary, AB	glad everyone is enjoying it __________________ "Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done." -Matthew Arnold

11-08-2003, 08:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
torn lace Upright Location: East Village, NYC	i definately can relate to that a lot, although i'm a freshman in college. i don't party hard to just get drunk or randomly hookup with people, and the majority of people here give me shit for that, but your post clarified that i'm on the right page... __________________ make it electric.

11-10-2003, 12:48 AM	#10 (permalink)
mydragonfido Crazy Location: Louisiana	Thanks for the post that was cool just thing I needed for this 25 year old woman.

11-13-2003, 12:25 PM	#11 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	it was great.. I had my crisis a lil early.. I was attacked and barely survived. So I look at life so different than i did. I think it has actually made me a better person and made me go much farther than i thought i'd be at 23 __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...