JadziaDax

This is more for the men who read our forum than for us, but I thought they should know our point system. And what better place to put the point system than in the Ladies Lounge?

(remember guys, don't post here... it's in the rules)

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six-iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
college drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team ...-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans
and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your butt".....-100
Any other response.....-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying,"well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200

ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!

lady

yoshi

I love this--very, very true

Shyla Loral

I disagree with some of the zeros! If I get a card and a gift for my birthday, then yay for him and yay for me! It's nice to know that you're being thought of. A creative/unusual present equals +5, allnight sex on a random day just because I'm beautiful and desirable not only equals +50, but he gets french toast the next morning.

__________________
"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac.

Meff r0x

collide

Damn, I'm glad I don't have to make any woman happy but myself.

__________________
"inhuman fiery goat worship" is an anagram for "information superhighway" -kingvolc

sexymama

I may not agree with the entire list -- but very funny! I shared some of it with my almost 18-year-old son and he said, "if I make a similar list for men to woman it would be considered sexist." I replied, "not with this group." He said, "fine, then cut and paste it; replace all the she's with he and it is now a male list." Boy was he embarrassed (laughing very hard) when I read Only I replace she with he. What fun!

And for the record, I agree that all night sex just because he finds me attractive is worth much more than +50. Also gifts, cards, notes, and phone calls just to say he loves me are all worth at least +10 each.

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

annie1

what a great list!

Marie

This list is the first step in convincing men that they CAN learn to understand us!

But I have to admit, mine as learned a lot already!
(costs a lot of time though...) ;-)

__________________
If you can't say something nice, say nothing...

koli70

Haha, I love it, especially the when its the time of the month.

__________________
Woman is a danger cat

anti fishstick

hahaha too bad a lot of efforts are zeros

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Amethyst

That is so funny and I agree with all of it!

daydream

That's great... very funny and for the most part soo true hahaha

__________________
"Can't help it if I space in a daze, my eyes tune out the other way... I may switch off and go in a daydream... in this head my thoughts are deep, Sometimes I can't even speak, would someone be and not pretend, I'm off again in my world"

shannon

i thought it was funny but i'm much more sympathetic. i think doing nothing at all is the only thing that would be 0 (aside from doing nothing on a birthday or not calling when you said you would, etc.) . anything where there's an effort is just soo cute and i totally appriciate. you have to take into consideration that we're difficult to deal with sometimes. and some days just being there and putting up with my crap deserves a good +50.

__________________
"When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. And when I look up I just trip over things"