*Nikki*

Abaya this is an excellent thread and I will post my long reply when I have a little more free time.

Peaches

Hi everyone. This is my first post here, although I have lurked for quite awhile now.

TFP came up on a google search and I came in, wandered around bit, found some interesting topics, and have read almost daily since then.

The porn is not a big issue for me. My fiance and I will page through it together. Some ladies have indicated that they either don't care for porn, or would not have it pop up on the screen at work. Maybe a small graphic such as the ones used in the Titty Board (amateur, blond, etc) could be used to denote anything explicit outside the Erogenous Zone so that folks who care to, can skip over those posts. Just a suggestion.

I haven't posted before because mostly I am pretty quiet in real life until I get to know people. I have no problem with the male domination of most of the threads. I spent most of my life working in a male dominated field and am very comfortable in that environment. I think it's sometimes hard for people to jump into an established group without knowing the existing relationships and group dynamics.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my visits to the LL, and the varied topics here. I think it's just fine the way it is and nothing needs to be added or changed.

Hello to all, and thanks for the many wonderful reads over the past few months

anti fishstick

Hi Peaches,
Welcome!! Glad this has inspired you to post and I hope we can hear from more of you.

I am also pretty quiet and introverted in real life. I am a wallflower type and I think this is my approach to participating on the boards as well. Just my personality. But, wallflowers count too!

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

abaya

Welcome, and what a great first post. Thank you for coming out of lurk-dom and I look forward to getting to know you better around here!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

anti fishstick

Thanks, abaya. I think this kind of encouragement, especially for actual newbies, will help people want to stick around!

__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

little_tippler

1) How did you find out about TFP, when you first joined? Did you lurk for a while, or jump right in with posting? What helped you open up and start posting?

I found out about the TFP through an ex, who didn't post here, but who asked some gamers he knew for advice on a good forum with mature topics and some mutual respect. I had tried some of his forums but didn't like the rudeness displayed by most posters and longed for somewhere civil yet interesting. He was pointed here and that is how I happened upon the TFP. From the start I found the TFP fascinating, and the way the topics were so diverse and everyone discussed everything openly and honestly. It wasn't long before I posted a thread (think that was my first post) which was about how I find it hard sometimes to understand and relate to other people.

2) From the beginning, how did you feel about the porn aspect of the board? (And the fact that as a result, there are far more male than female members here)? Has that ever made you hesitant to post more often here?

I only found out about the porn and how it had been the initial driving force for the TFP some time later. It doesn't bother me at all because I enjoy porn myself. It has educated me thoroughly too. That and the Sexuality forum have been very useful to me. I never thought twice about letting the porn negatively influence me in terms of posting or not. In fact, I find it titillating to some degree

3) What kind of "female" board topics/forums might encourage you to post more often, if you could vote for something? (E.g. a "wedding" forum, or something for parenting, or any other topic that might be interesting to you?)

Any topic which will benefit from a more female-dominated perspective will interest me to read and post about. I don't think weddings and parenting is the way to go. There are plenty of topics that have been discussed in the LL that are of interest to me and I always try and participate as much as I can. What would make me post more, specifically... maybe, like some ladies have mentioned, we could talk politics from women's perspective, away from the antics of the Tilted Politics forum. I suppose it seems a bit strange to shut the guys out, but if it works for us...why not? Maybe we need a less testosterone loaded environment to voice our opinions on that sort of topic. No-one ever said the LL can only discuss "women's issues". If we treat this like our private pub, there’s no stopping what we can discuss.

4) Can you think of anything we might be able to change on the boards, to make it more appealing to potential new members? What is it about TFP that has made you stick around this long?

I think the visual appearance of the board on first sight isn't the most appealing and that alone could be something to draw people to rummage through the board better. First impressions can count. We have interesting content, so maybe we need a new face?

Since so many ladies feel that sometimes the TFP can be intimidating for newcomers, in terms of the “superior attitude” given by some members, maybe we could consider a system where newcomers get assigned old-timers to show them around for the first week? May seem silly but it could help establish stronger bonds between people.

I'm sorry to hear some ladies don't feel valued or like they matter. I used to feel that to some degree, mainly because I'm way out here in Portugal and it seemed hard to connect with people. I feel it a little less these days. I want all you ladies to know, that you are valued, and when you disappear on us, you are missed. Since I joined the TFP I have never left it for longer than a couple of weeks. It has become a constant in my life that I hope to not give up. At the very least, I hope I have made some friends to last me a long time. Even though I have not met the majority of them in person. Isn't that crazy?

In relation to the male dominated environment, I have to say that has really never been a concern of mine. I didn't feel it even in the beginning, in fact some users who I thought were ladies later turned out to be men. Maybe I don’t feel it so much because I come from a pretty macho country so it seems normal to me? It does worry me that some of you feel intimidated that way. I do think though that overall our boys are quite tolerant generally and there is little reason for homosexual or bisexual people to not feel comfortable. The actual problem might be that the content we offer is not appealing enough in that sense (like abaya said of the Full Monty board), and is essentially heterosexually oriented.

abaya, I just want to say that this was a great thread idea and I’m really pleased to see the effect it has had on our ladies, especially the newcomers who have joined in and had their say! Your contribution is very valuable to us. Welcome!

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

abaya

Let's do it. Now.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Dammitall

How did you find out about TFP, when you first joined? Did you lurk for a while, or jump right in with posting? What helped you open up and start posting?

Crompsin also introduced me to TFP. When I started out I spent more time reading than posting and was pretty quiet for the first several months of my membership. I attribute this to two factors: not feeling like I was yet able to commit enough time to posting and keeping up with posts on a regular enough basis to become an active member of the community; and feeling somewhat intimidated by the quality of discussion (the bar was already set rather high from how Cromspin had described TFP's community and content to me already) and not wanting to leave a bad initial impression with my first contributions.

Someone already touched on the very strong push for membership, but I think there's an even stronger emphasis on commitment to the community, which I have admittedly found somewhat intimidating. There are people who joined only a few months ago and have already racked up over a thousand posts, and they are rewarded for that. But someone with less time to actually give to posting and responding may feel just as much commitment to TFP, though their commitment is not as visible and therefore not recognized in the same way. Obviously if you read more and post more, you become more familiar with others and they become more familiar with you, which will help you feel like you belong here among those who have been around a long time. Is this possible in some other way for those who just can't spend as much time here?

From the beginning, how did you feel about the porn aspect of the board? (And the fact that as a result, there are far more male than female members here)? Has that ever made you hesitant to post more often here?

I haven't paid the porn too much attention but it's never really bothered me. As for the skewed ratio of males to females, I would assume that's still pretty typical for online bulletin board communities that aren't specifically geared towards female-oriented subject matter.

What kind of "female" board topics/forums might encourage you to post more often, if you could vote for something? (E.g. a "wedding" forum, or something for parenting, or any other topic that might be interesting to you?)

My honest initial impression of the ladies' lounge was that it wasn't so much going to be a place for me. As a perpetual tomboy turned bisexual woman in a monogamous lesbian relationship, I've steered clear of discussions here about pregnancy, clothing, stuff there is to love about men, straight sex and any posts having to do with birth control, since I can't really relate to any of those things. That's not to say that there isn't anything here in the Lounge for me, but thus far I have hesitated to post my own threads dealing more closely to my personal experience. I hope to change that, as I know the only way to make the Lounge more comfortable and inviting is to look harder for and start posting about topics I can relate to. Duh!

Can you think of anything we might be able to change on the boards, to make it more appealing to potential new members? What is it about TFP that has made you stick around this long?

I really like this idea. As for what's made me stay, I had a moment of reconnection—or initial connection, really—with the board a few weeks ago and decided I was going to try to make the most of my membership here and start posting, come what may. I think the most disconcerting thing for me is responding to a topic that's been going like gangbusters for days and seeing it shrivel up and die with the last post being mine. Not sure whether that's a skewed perception on my part, but I hope my contributions haven't been entirely off-putting to other members. Maybe I'm just out of practice.

__________________
If one million people replaced a two mile car trip once a week with a bike ride, carbon dioxide emissions would be reduced by 50,000 tons per year. If one out of ten car commuters switched to a bike, carbon dioxide emissions would be reduced by 25.4 million tons per year. [2milechallenge.com]

abaya

spinelust, I was hoping you would post in here soon. You have hit the nail on the head there, spinelust. Roll up your sleeves and dig in... we are in serious need of thread-starters, here and in other areas of the board. Don't be afraid if a thread doesn't take off... it happens to ALL of us. Not everything will fly, but almost every thread idea gets at least a few bites, and a good lot of them really do take off. I, for one, would be sincerely interested in hearing what kind of topics you are interested in, and I look forward to seeing more of what you post!
I honestly think that's a perception thing... we all go through that. There was even a thread somewhere (Paranoia, maybe?) about being the last person to post on a thread, and then the thread dying shortly afterwards... I think almost every member has felt like "OMG, IT'S ME!!!" at some point or another. But I assure you, it's not. After my years here, I actually think it's kind of cool when I post and no one responds, for example in Politics... hahaha.

Thanks for the continued responses!! I am so glad to see all of you posting here... keep it up.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran