girldetective

Hey sisters. Ive been going through this Tpop thing that has finally ended. It is wrecked and going to dry dock. Ive culled through our email, keeping the best, and that which I want to remember and learn from. Ive been doing this with my memories too.

I am concerned here with sense memories that I like and want to remember but at the same time unnerve me because I like them so much and it is sort of twisted because I miss them. He had moves I didnt know about. He used his nose, he talked and groaned, he kissed and directed, he vampired.

So Ive got the Tpop itch and I dont know that Ive ever run into this before. An actual physical heat for someone, someone in particular. I believe that much of this had to do with his body type fitting so well with mine. He stands 6'4" and is thin and gangly, with a grace. I am 5'11" and thin and gangly, with no grace. I once said to him that touching his body was like touching mine, and he agreed.

Ive learned something. Ive learned that I feel better with a like-bodied lovestud, and much taller than me. This is so shallow I can hardly believe it of myself or that I am actually copping to it, but its true. I guess I now have a type. Shit.

Do you have preferred body types? is that normal? More importantly, if you do, how do you square that with yourself and with the real world?

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

snowy

Oh, I totally have a preferred body type. I like a guy to be at least 6', as I'm 5'8", and slender. Preferably they're over 6'2" and slender, and fairly broad in the shoulder. When I first started dating my SO, he totally fit this type, but he (and I) gained weight. He's lost a lot of it now, and so he's getting back to that body type. But I don't hold it against him--and that's the key. Just because it's my preference doesn't mean it's what I go with every time, and I'm certainly not going to dismiss a guy because he doesn't fit it. It's not as important to me in terms of long-term compatibility.

Keep in mind that in future relationships you can always teach your new man the tricks you've learned from this one.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

ngdawg

I've always been attracted to taller beefier guys, yet married someone not much taller than me-if I wear heels, I'm the taller one. And, while he was pretty big and muscular when we married, he's down about 30 lbs now and that is part of the loss of attraction, I think. He's small( in stature).

My one male friend, who I have totally lusted over for almost 7 years, fits "the bill"-6'2", over 200 lbs and a full head of silky white wavy hair(which also makes me hot). My second friend comes damned close-6ft, almost 200 lbs, full head of silver hair.

Oh, and blue eyes! Seems every man I've had has/had intense blue eyes, but it wasn't something I sought, just an underlying attraction point.

Plummie

Most women are drawn to certain physical aspects in a man - tall, fit, symmetrical face, full head of hair, nice skin etc. are attractive features to every lady! In my case, I realize no man is perfect and I am open to all kinds of body types, but I tend to date more slender guys. I am not at all opposed to beefier men, though. I guess it's more about total package vs. body specifics for me. I've dated a lot of different body types and they are all sexy in their own way!

__________________
Kim

ColonelSpecial

All through high school and most of college I was attracted to tall (over 6') and very thin. I then met my fiance. He is shorter (5'8") and more.....round. It fits me perfectly though because I am 5'2" and also round. There is pretty much nothing about him physically that is the same as the boys I liked before him.

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"Mommy, the presidents are squishing me!"

"Using the pull out method of contraceptive is like saying I won't use a seat belt, I'll just jump out of the car before it hits that tree."

Sara

little_tippler

I am actually funny that way...I don't think I have a type generally. I've liked a wide variety of guys...and still do. I think the men I like usually have some boyish quality to them. Something playful, I don't know...

Physically, I prefer them to be thin, not too beefed up. Some lean muscle I like a lot. Height...eh as long as he's my height or taller we're good. I couldn't pinpoint much else physically... I guess if I like the general package usually what I really fall for is the mind behind it all. It's a good thing, to me. It doesn't let me get too hung up on looks most of the time.

I think a girl should have what she wants. I've had bodies that fit better than others so I know what works...more power to you for finding out what you like. Nothing to be ashamed of!

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

ÐiGiRed

I like tall guys, or at least taller than me. But I'm only 5'4".. so, that's not much of a problem.

Also, most of the guys I've been interested in have all had tattoos.. not that I intentionally set out to find a guy who's got 'em.. they just usually do...

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Don't drink and park, accidents in cars cause people.

Jenna

Yes, I do have a preferred body type for both male and females.

I really like tall men, and "broad" men. Not necessarily extremely muscular, but someone who has a nice build to him. My boyfriend is 6'5 and I'm 5'3. So I like tall guys. I like all hair colors and eye colors. I tend to like distinguished features on men. My boyfriend has a strong, almost large nose, and I really love that.

Gaspard Ulliel is my definition of perfection in men. And lately he's gotten more and more muscular and built. His large neck and pouty lips with intense eyes are the killer.


I also REALLY love guys who have tattoos and piercings. I've always thought "bad boys" were insanely hot.

For girls, I really like curvier girls. I'm a boob person. I'm all about beautiful faces too. I prefer brunettes over blondes and I love green or blue eyes. I like girls who are close to my height, anywhere from 5'2 to 5'8.

girldetective

How might one go about this in a subtle, polite way? I mean i wouldnt want to say My boyfriend used to... you know what I mean?

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

snowy

Either you tell them, or you show them, and there are ways to put it that don't mention the ex. Phrase it thus: "I really like x" or "Could you do y?" Noises are good reinforcement--when it feels good, get louder! Sometimes I put my guy's hands where I want them, without waiting for him to put them there, to give him an idea of where to start, and keep my hands on his to show him what I want.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Shaindra

My perfect "size" guy is 5'10" - 6'2". Yes, I've been with smaller guys, and in bed, it doesn't seem to matter as much so long as stuff lines up. I like guys a little on the beefier size. Skinny guys just don't do it for me. And skinny guys shorter than me in heels *really* don't do it for me. I need something to hug.

Now, as to the attraction to one person, that's a tougher one. Don't assume that your "type" is exactly what he is. You miss him, and that's cool. But don't look for a clone of him, or you'll be disappointed.

__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."

Laugh-O-Matic

Tall (around 6'1'' is ideal), macho guys. I'm not a fan of the bunch of dandies that so many magazine covers rave about. Though, you can hardly call James Bond that.

Another thing is that he has to be extremely passionate and spontaneous. If he's hot-tempered and possessive, it's a bonus. Looks like I'm into bad boys.

__________________
How you bore me, Florrie,
With those eyes of vacant blue;
You'll be very sorry, Florrie
If I marry you.
Though I'm easy-goin', Florrie,
This I swear is true,
I'll throw you down a quarry, Florrie,
If I marry you. - Saki.

sleepygirl

I have typically been into taller guys (6' and over), not sure why as I am only 5', just always drawn to them. That can present some physical challenges.

Anyway, my SO is under 6', not by much but it seems we are very physically compatible. What a difference! Haven't had this level of compatibility before. We seem to reach out for each other at right times, touch each other in right places and mold together very well. This is the important/good stuff, I win!

girldetective

So I was actually sitting here remembering Tpop's moves. Physically remembering them. Grooving to the memories. I dont think I have ever had such a physical fantasy about a real person before. His moves are like imprinted in my bones or something. I dont know, its new. I stopped though, thinking that this daydreamery stuff is not the healthiest. Youre right Shaindra, I do miss him.

I dont believe I have ever missed someone's body other than maybe my children's when they were young.

(late last night on my way home i cried pretty freely and sort of called out his name. sort of wolfish like, very carnal and physical) (this is so much unlike me i cant tell you. hes under my skin, and i guess ill leave him there. ill get used to it, and its better than having on my skin. that didnt work out too well)

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

mixedmedia

I don't know that what you're reacting to is something physical at all.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

girldetective

I dont know what else it can be. It feels primal sort of. Like my dna recognizes his or something. From the same stock or whatever. His genes fit.

Its disconcerting.

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

snowy

It's probably pheromones. I've definitely been in a relationship where there was just something about the guy that fit...and after we parted ways, there was a withdrawal of sorts, like he was my drug.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

mixedmedia

Yes, but I don't think that necessarily has to do with body type. I do believe what you are experiencing is more of a chemical reaction and/or a psychological reaction, but maybe I misunderstood. I mean to say that it's unlikely that the next guy you meet who has the same build as tpop will have the same impact on you. I think when we respond the way you describe here to another person it has much more to do with the psychic connections we make with each other, rather than physical attraction. I mean, if we walked around falling madly in love with every person we found to be physically attractive there wouldn't be much time for anything else, lol.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

girldetective

Wait! What? In love!? What?

what?



ono. no.

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

mixedmedia

oh, maybe that's just me...they're inseperable

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

girldetective

what?
what?
what?

what?
w h a t ?

what now?

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

girldetective

Heres the thing. Really, it doesnt matter what I feel about Tpop now. Im getting over him.

Last night I was at a concert and at intermission guess where my eye was drawn? To those 2-3 tall lanky men with bristly, sort of coarse hair. If they wore glasses, all the better. There was one man in particular who I noticed as he was so Tpop-ish. He was the tallest man there, lanky, same hair, glasses, similar profile, clothing style was the same down to the jacket, and he had that same movement, that same look. He was with a tall woman who was guiding him around because he was blind. I watched him standing waiting for her when the bell rang and I could see he was just a smidge anxious, just a bit. And then here she came all happy and all was right with the world. It was so Tpop & me that I caught my breath a moment before following them in. I was glad I didnt sit near them. It would have been distracting because what I really wanted to do was lean against this man. I just wanted to be in his space, leaning. Just the thought of this has me crying. I can just feel it all over, that skin to skin contact, that rush.

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

mixedmedia

Well, I guess we're just very different in that way. I think if I were to separate from P, what I would be looking to replace is the look in his eye. How he looks at me. That glint in his eye. Which to me, signifies a psychic connection...not like paranormal psychic, more like a copacetic understanding...blah, blah, blah

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

girldetective

MM, I think we are actually very similar but I am working relentlessly at moving past Tpop. These physical feelings are the tip of the iceberg. The sticky love mess has me bereft in general, but these overwhelming physical feelings are too new and too much.

You know when I was with Tpop I would often feel this embarrassing-to- admit swooning thing. I think I referred to it in another thread as the fainting goat syndrome. I remember feeling that way at few other times in my life - the first time I was kissed, a few times with Todd, and almost every time I saw Tpop. It is physical, it is emotional, it is mental, it is love. I am way too aware of it.

It is chemical. As Snowy said it is almost like a drug. Seeing that tall man last night had me feeling all loungy and melty. Seriously. If that man last night had been alone I would have taken his arm just for the pleasure. I would have draped myself over him in the dark of the theater.

Yep, its chemical. Im quitting the smoking of Tpop and Im burnin up with fever.

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

mixedmedia

I don't why...I was just listening to this song...reminded me of this thread



Oh-what-wow
He's the greatest dancer
Oh-what-wow
That I've ever seen
Oh-what-wow
He's the greatest dancer
Oh-what-wow

One night in a disco
On the outskirts of Frisco
I was cruisin' with my favourite gang
The place was so boring
Filled with out-of-towners touring
I knew that it wasn't my thing
I really wasn't caring
But I felt my eyes staring
At a guy who stood out in the crowd
He had the kind of body
That would shame Adonis
And a face that would make any man cry

Oh-what-wow
He's the greatest dancer
Oh-what-wow
That I've ever seen
Oh-what-wow
He's the greatest dancer
Oh-what-wow

The champion of dance
His moves would put you in a trance
And he never leaves the disco alone
Arrogance but not conceit
As a man he's complete
My creme de la creme
Please take me (don't go) home
He wears the finest clothes
The best designers, heaven knows
Ooh, from his head down to his toes
Halston, Gucci, Fiorucci
He looks like a still
That man is dressed to kill

Oh-what-wow
He's the greatest dancer
Oh-what-wow
That I've ever seen
Oh-what-wow
He's the greatest dancer
Oh-what-wow
That I've ever seen

I think I'm one of the only pre-teen disco queens at TFP

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

savmesom11

Hi ladies! Better late to the thread then never I say....

I'm about 5'10 1/2 and 150 lbs and I likes me the little guys. My height or shorter and not much to them in the weight department, well except where it counts

I have of course dated all types and wouldn't rule anyone out based on their size but for some reason the little ones just seem to fit.

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

mixedmedia

Ladies, you know we love our hard-earned right to vote...

Go here and read this:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=136616

And vote!

This guy will be there...


No, I'm sorry, that's a lie...

/end threadjack

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Eowyn_Vala

I used to think I had a type. But lately I've been rethinking that. It used to be that tall guys with dark hair were what I seemed to go for. But looking back at movie stars or singers who I lusted (and still lust) after the only thing that is the same is that I want someone taller than me, not much to that since I'm 5'6, and he has to be in shape. Hair color, eye color, everything else doesn't seem to matter on the attraction scale. Certain combinations will really attract me, but I can't say there is a specific one

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

serlindsipity

having a type is okay. its a part of our internal need to find who will support us best. i think its important not to let this preference completly stop you from dating others outside of said type.

My type runs the same vein. I love tall skinny guys (usually a foot taller than me) but i am trying my luck with some guys who are not like that. its not all about type, right?

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My third eye is my camera's lens.

girldetective

I have never thought it was all about type. But what if I were wrong? What if it is all about type? Perhaps we just dont know our type until we come across it. What if those people that we think could be a bit shallow when they talk about their type are right? Is there something wrong with preferring Coke over Pepsi? Ive always thought there might be, because I try to look at the whole person. But now, when it comes to fun and play, I wonder if Im beginning to feel more of the pleasure aspect than the correctness? Am I losing my brain? Who knows!?

*

I hate to say it.

I think I might now have a height requirement, along with brush your teeth, and shower at least once in a while (preferably with me).

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Lindy

I like a guy to be solid. Hefty or lean, either will do if he is solid. Skinny doesn’t do it for me. Moves well. Taller than me, but since I’m only 5’3” (if I stand really straight) that’s never been a problem. A subtle, dry sense of humor. An intellectual, not a jock. (Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but I’m just not much into sports.) Clean shaven, or with a real beard, but I absolutely HATE that two or three days growth look. My ex husband was physically just perfect, but unfortunately never managed to turn from a kid into an adult. At this point in my life I'm looking for more than just a hunk. Hunks aren't that hard to find.
This kind of reminds me of Sultana’s thread “10 Necessary Qualities in a Guy” from about a year ago.
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=124795

Lindy

genuinegirly

All bodies, save obese. Vibrance behind the eyes and quick mind required. Currently the position is filled, no longer accepting applications.

Have gone for:
Short, strong, physics, bold.
Tall, thin, lanky, psychology, bold.
Short, thin, athletic, tiny, physics, bold.
Tall, broad, strong, robotics, bold.
Tall, thin, athletic, tiny, timid, evolutionary biology, firm.
Tall, strong, dark, medicine, firm.
Tall, strong, dark, quiet, fennel physiology, steady.
Short, thin, acrobatic, driven.

Fell endlessly for:
Tall, strong, english/compsci, bold.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy