savmesom11

Hi Ladies: Today I took my 9-year old daughter to the doctor for a med check-up. She needs this appointment every six months to re-evaluate a dosage for a daily medication she is on but I also wanted to talk to the doctor about some stomach and chest pains she has been complaining about recently. The verdict: PUBERTY. I am flipping out. She's only 9 and I was 14 before I slowly began puberty and I just naturally figured a girl follows after the other females in her family. She has small breast buds, hair growth between her legs, and is starting to discharge. The doctor said her period could come in as little as a year. In September she weighed 77 lbs, today she weighs 94 lbs and has grown 2 inches since then.

My questions to you are; when did you begin to menstruate? How is that comparable to your daughters or your mother? How do you teach a 9 year old to care for her developing body without freaking her out? I mean my daughter still doesn't know where babies come from. Do you have any theories as to why young girls are developing so early? Any advice you can give to a young mother who is trying to let go of her baby will help.

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PonyPotato

Girls have been menstruating earlier each generation. This generation, it has a lot do with hormones and whatnot in the water and food supply. Better foods, higher body fat percentages, etc. all influence menarche as well.

I started menstruating when I was 11, I think. I'm pretty sure my mom started when she was 13 or 14. My sister I think was 12. A family friend of ours, 2 years younger than my sister, started when she was 9. It was really unexpected and her doctors were concerned, but she turned out to be fine.

I don't think your daughter's case is unusual, but you may want to talk to her school counselor(s) and see if they have any suggestions regarding introducing her to the subjects of reproduction, menstruation, and taking care of herself. I remember having that discussion for the first time in 3rd grade, I'm not sure when they do that sort of stuff in school now. You'll probably want to find out.

Good luck!

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ShaniFaye

My mom started about 14 I think, I got mine on my 13th birthday...my daughter was 12 (4 months before her 13th birthday) I cried for a week when she started lol

She has known as long as she can remember where babies come from and if I remember right she was about 8ish when we discussed having a period.

What I have always done with her is answer her questions when she asks, adding more information the older she gets.

You might start out talking to her about when you first started yours and how you felt and making sure you told her things that you might have wished you'd known then, and then asking her for her questions and answering them very straight forward and factually

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mixedmedia

I started late...15 years old. But I had been taking ballet classes for years and it's normal for puberty to delayed as such.

My two oldest daughters though both started their periods at around the age of 12.

I have heard of cases of puberty as young as 9 before, though. I don't think it's that unusual.

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snowy

My mother got her period just shy of her 12th birthday, and so did I, but I started showing signs around 10. Some of my friends started maturing even earlier than that.

It really isn't that unusual for a girl's secondary sex characteristics to begin to show at 9. It's certainly not anything to really worry about. Just make sure she's up to speed on what's happening to her body. I was sure as hell freaked out when I found out that periods HURT (I get wicked bad menstrual cramps, and my first period started off feeling like the worst case of indigestion I'd ever had, but I had no clue what was going on).

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ngdawg

I got mine at 11( in 1966, so it's nothing new now to start 'early'). Puberty started at 9 for me-had to wear a bra and got bad acne for starters.
Puberty at 9 isn't that odd, it might be a couple years before she gets a period. My daughter got buds and stomach pains, hair, and mood swings, etc., starting at 8 but it was another 4 years before the periods started.

Grasshopper Green

I didn't get mine until I was 15...I wasn't athletic, I was just a late bloomer.
I don't think my mom got hers until she was 13-14. IMO, if your daughter doesn't know about her period yet, you need to talk to her. You don't want her to start and not know what is going on. I'd talk to her doctor or perhaps a counselor at school about the best way to approach this, because I have no advice to give. If it weren't for my maturation class in 5th grade, I'd never have known what a period was.

As far as maturing earlier, I very much believe it's partially due to growth hormones in meat and milk and higher levels of body fat than in previous generations. But that's another soapbox for another day

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girldetective

>>My questions to you are; when did you begin to menstruate? How is that comparable to your daughters or your mother? How do you teach a 9 year old to care for her developing body without freaking her out? Any advice you can give to a young mother who is trying to let go of her baby will help.<<

I was a late bloomer, as were both of my girls. We each felt left out while other girls were maturing more rapidly. I remember lamenting that my girls were growing up and I worried for them. I suggest you teach your daughter about her body and basic sexuality in a gentle, forthright way. Remember, she is doing exactly what she should be doing - growing up - and it is good. I predict you and she will become closer as she goes through the process. Its great being a woman.

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Jenna

I started menstruating at 10, and also was already up to a B cup. I'm just like your daughter.

So many girls complain about being a late bloomer, but getting your period in 5th grade was no fun. I didn't have anyone to relate to. I felt so incredibly embarrassed during those "health" courses we had. I felt like I was the only one who had my period and I felt ashamed about it. I didn't even tell my mom for the first few days when I got my period. I just found pads around the house. My mom's one of those mom's who is still ashamed to say penis around me... needless to say I never received the "sex talk."

amonkie

I started at 9, and was actually at a weeklong church camp when i woke up to bloody sheets. how's THAT for freaky! I hadn't had sex ed in school yet or a talk from my parents, so my counselor tried her best to tell/explain to me. When I got home 3 days later, I refused to get in our pool and go swimming with everyone else. When my mom asked why, it came out. She was a later as well, about 12-13 years.

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jewels

I believe my mom was 14. I was 13. My oldest daughter was 13, and my babies (now 14 and 15) were both 10. Interesting, huh? The babies were from a different father, and I know his sister had her period when she was 10, so I figure it was his family genes in them. Who knows?

Genetics, evolution, fast food ... I don't know. But I've always been very open with my girls and it's worked well for me, so far. I'd advise you to talk with her about anything she seems willing to listen about. I started talking in very general terms just to let them know I was available for anything. All I knew was that I did not want them to learn about sex "in the street" as I did, which is probably why I became sexually active so young.

Don't be afraid, but take cues from her. She'll let you know what she's ready to hear. And although it does seem a little scary at first, it opens a whole new bond and will bring you even closer to your baby. Enjoy it.

By all means, don't let go just yet! She needs you more than ever during puberty.

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savmesom11

Thank you all so very much. Words cannot describe how I feel about getting support from so many different, intelligent women. I am very scared, probably more than she is even (well since she doesn't know anything yet) but I can't allow her to grow up in the dark. I know I have to sit down and have this talk it's getting started that scares me. It's not that I want to stop it from happening, it's just so soon.

I agree with the hormone assumptions that they are contributing to a faster rate of puberty but the body fat content is new to me. It's funny my 13 yr old son looks like he's 10 and weighs 76 lbs, my 9 yr old daughter weighs 95 lbs and looks like she is going on 13. I purposely didn't have children so close together so that I could enjoy them separately but they are both going through the stages of life at the same time and it is very scary.

Again I appreciate your advice and will keep you posted on how "the talk" turns out.

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tinydancer

I started at summer camp when I was 12. My school had a program for the girls in 3rd grade where we learned all about menstruating. At the time, being so young... I had though they were going to GIVE us our first period.. haha!

Being at summer camp and starting was a little difficult and odd. But the most odd part was there were four of us girls in the same cabin, that same week.. that allll started for the first time!!! Our counselors were in hell lol...

My mom came out to camp and literally the entire back seat of her car was LOADED with products. Tampons, pads, disposable underware... you name it, she bought it and brought it. Looking back I think it made her more uncomfortable than me cause she had never talked to me about any of those things either. So when it finally happened... I didn't feel I needed her help and she didn't know whether to take me seriously or be a comforting mommy.... It kind of hurt her that I was all of a sudden so grown up and didn't want to talk to her about any of the things going on with my body. I felt like it was weird to cause we never had before I started the journey, so why now?


My advice is to definitely talk to her about it. I learned how to put a tampon in from my cabin mates and counselors. Made for some wonderful memories as I'm still involved with this summer camp... but I would've liked it to have been more of a bonding experience with my mother. Don't push the issue, but definitely don't wait until one day you get a call from school, or her friends mother or a summer camp! lol.. saying she started....until you speak to your daughter. Good luck! And congrats..to you and her, eventually. This is a great time in both of your lives.

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settie

To the OP:
Don't flip out, that'll only scare your daughter when she sees how uncomfortable this makes you. Its a natural thing, embrace it.

9 is not as early as you think. My mom got her first period when she was either 9 or 10. I got mine between grades 6 and 7, I think I was 11.

You won't freak her out if you explain the facts of life to her. Don't keep it a mystery, I feel that that only confuses young girls. My mom wouldn't talk to me about it, in fact, I remember when I first asked her what a pad does after watching a commercial about them, and when I suggested blood, she denied it! And dropped the conversation! Within the next year, I got my period, and I was so mad at her for lying. Stupid thing to do... -_-

Don't wait for your daughter to hear all sorts of strange things from the kids at school, take a deep breath, remember she will quickly grow into a beautiful young woman in the next 8 years, and be as helpful and understanding as possible.

Don't think of it as letting her go, you're opening her mind up to the real world, to what life is about. You still have a number of years with your baby girl before she graduates from high school

I think that you should tell your daughter soon where babies come from as well. I think it's important girls and boys hear it from their parents before they hear it said poorly in school. In the catholic school board where I live, kids start sexual eduation in grade 5...I was nine in grade 5.

As for the "belief" that girls are maturing earlier, I think its a load of steaming shit. I have seen no real evidence that the median has dropped in the last 50 or 100 years. I think its just another scare tactic issued out like so many others. *shrugs* I've read some really excellent sex ed books by renowned doctors, and nothing implies that the food we eat, or the drugs we take, have sped up puberty. The body's internal clock, and the pituitary gland, do all the work for you. As far as I know, and I've been taking sex ed and human anatomy courses for years now, nothing but human genetic defects can fuck up one's sex cycle.

I agree with what some of the woman have said in this thread about sharing your experiences from growing up then with her. Knowing that her mommy and other girls have the same feelings, the same concerns and questions, will make her feel more comfortable in her body as it changes. Because my mom wouldn't talk to me, I felt like one ugly duckling all through elementary school...and I wouldn't wish how I felt on any child.

The one thing I do think that has changed in the last 100 years is the use of birth control pills...all of that peed out synthetic estrogen is not doing the male sex any good. Sterility is on the rise, and that is what concerns me... :S

Meditrina

I totally understand how you feel. While I did not get mine until 6th grade, my daughter got hers at 10 1/2. (She is now 11). At age 9, the doctor warned me it was coming. She was much like your daughter, starting to blossom and all that. It gave me ample time to bring her up to speed. I have not had "the talk" about sex or babies yet, but I know that will be coming soon. What I did talk to her about was her changing body and how she will notice some moods swings that are unexplainable. American Girl has a book out for girls. I can't remember the name, when I find it I will let you know.

Let her know that you are there for her if she has any questions, she will need you in this time of change. **hugs**

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evil_twin617

I feel for ya, my daughter started when she was 8. And it just so happened when she was staying with her dad (my ex) for the summer. Since he was very uneducated and uncomfortable with the whole situation, she is consequently still very uncomfortable talking about anything puberty related. She practically "dies" of embarrassment when I ask her if I need to pick her up any "products" at the store or if I ask her if she needs a new bra. She is currently 13 and wears a 38 DD bra and is 5'7" tall and wears an 11 shoe.

Hopefully you'll get a little more time with her as a "little" girl.

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savmesom11

OMG - 38DD at 13! I bet the boys are tuff on her...makes me wanna hug her! Thx for the support!

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *