One hell of a intro... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sad Cilli Willi · 06-21-2007, 07:51 AM

Under better circumstances, lord knows I'd be ecstatic.

However..

I'm pregnant. Approximately 5 weeks along, actually. I found out on Sunday.

On Monday, I had to go over to Planned Parenthood to schedule an abortion for Wednesday the 27th.

This is so tough for me and I wish more than anything else in the world that the situation hadn't come to this.

kate jack · 06-21-2007, 08:30 AM

Yikes.

I hope that you've thought it all through because the decision is hard either way you go.

Good luck and a safe surgery.

Does the father know?

Sad Cilli Willi · 06-21-2007, 09:04 AM

I don't really feel that bringing the baby into this world at this point in my life would be the best thing in the world for any of us (the baby, myself, and the father). Downright and straight to the point, I'm too young, too irresponsible, and too unstable with my life and with the relationship with the father. We've only been dating for about 5 months. Half the reason that I'm choosing this is because the father is not ready either. It's not that he hasn't got a job or isn't financially stable and whatnot (that's hardly the case)...I just know that emotionally he's not ready to dedicate himself to a child if he's still not ready to dedicate himself to me. I'm fortunate enough that I won't actually have to go through surgery - I'm going to be taking a pill that will cause me to miscarry. I don't think I could actually go through with it if they had to surgically do anything to remove it.

I'm sad. This was not how I ever imagined my first pregnancy to be. And I know that the next one, no matter when it happens, will happen - 9 month term and everything.

serlindsipity · 06-21-2007, 01:10 PM

hey, do whats best for the situation. Things happen, and know that if things were different financially, emotionally, you wouldnt be doing this. i wish more people could be level headed about doing what is best for your future and prodviding a safe and sure future for you and a child is very important.

Good luck

Sweetpea · 06-21-2007, 01:43 PM

*hug* Although I have never been in this situation myself, I see that this must have been a difficult choice, but you appear to have thought it through on logical and practical terms.

I want to mention- have you thought about seeing a counseler after? I believe they do offer a couple sessions and you might think about seeing someone to help you sort out what must be an emotional time for you.

keeping you in my thoughts.

sweetpea

*Nikki* · 06-21-2007, 07:07 PM

Have you considered adoption?

tenniels · 06-22-2007, 02:22 AM

It's a tough decision, but I agree that if you are not ready to raise a child and devote your life 100% to it, it's just not fair to the child to be brought into that situation. I agree that it may be a good idea to do some counselling afterwards, I imagine that the weight of your decision will have lasting effects. Also have you considered what you will be using for birthcontrol from now on (I'm not sure if you were using and it was a mistake, or weren't using etc) to prevent any furture pregnancies? Best luck girlie *hugs*

Shoowop · 07-02-2007, 05:23 AM

I feel for you tremendously. I have had an abortion and given a child up for adoption to do health reasons out of my control (I had to have a pacemaker implanted while 7 months pregnant because I was symptomatic to heart failure) I can honestly, HONESTLY, say giving my daughter up for adoption was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I was a wreck for a year after and still to this day, she'll be 6 this month and I still have a tough time on Mother's day, holidays and her birthday. Its open, so I can have contact if I want and the adoptive family wants me to have contact, but its still too hard. Having the abortion was much easier to deal with in the long run. Good luck to you.

JustJess · 07-02-2007, 05:43 AM

How did it go? How are you holding up?
I hope you did take/are taking some counseling - that would be a really rough time for any of us, no matter how strong we are.

Sad Cilli Willi · 07-06-2007, 06:03 PM

A week and a day later, however, I can tell you that I have never bled so much before in my entire life, and of course this horrible shit had to happen to me on my first 12 hour shift in a week (not counting the night shift I worked). I can honestly say that I will never do this again. Next time I get pregnant, it'll be meant to be. I'm not going through this horror.

Which reminds me, I need to go change my pad again.

This whole ordeal's been the reason I haven't been on here. Sorry, ladies, if anyone was worried. It's been extremely rough.

I have an appointment with a counselor next week.

katyg · 07-10-2007, 10:00 AM

If you ever need to talk then private msg me. I had a very similar situation 9 months ago, it was more horrific than I thought it would be, very upsetting, and my hormones were all over the place for weeks - I felt suicidal! My thoughts are with you and I understand what you are feeling xxx

JustJess · 07-10-2007, 10:07 AM

Thanks for updating us, SCW. I hope the counseling will help you, and that you'll be okay soon. I'm sorry it was so rough.

snowy · 07-10-2007, 10:56 AM

Oh, wow, indeed, what an intro.

SCW, I hope everything works out for you, and I hope you feel better soon.

*hugs*

Adri · 07-13-2007, 02:06 PM

I had an abortion 6 years ago and I still get teary if I think about it too much. :hug: I hope everything works out for you.

06-21-2007, 07:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sad Cilli Willi Upright	One hell of a intro... Under better circumstances, lord knows I'd be ecstatic. However.. I'm pregnant. Approximately 5 weeks along, actually. I found out on Sunday. On Monday, I had to go over to Planned Parenthood to schedule an abortion for Wednesday the 27th. This is so tough for me and I wish more than anything else in the world that the situation hadn't come to this.

06-21-2007, 01:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
serlindsipity Psycho Location: Boulder Baby!	hey, do whats best for the situation. Things happen, and know that if things were different financially, emotionally, you wouldnt be doing this. i wish more people could be level headed about doing what is best for your future and prodviding a safe and sure future for you and a child is very important. Good luck __________________ My third eye is my camera's lens.

06-21-2007, 01:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	hug Although I have never been in this situation myself, I see that this must have been a difficult choice, but you appear to have thought it through on logical and practical terms. I want to mention- have you thought about seeing a counseler after? I believe they do offer a couple sessions and you might think about seeing someone to help you sort out what must be an emotional time for you. keeping you in my thoughts. sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

06-22-2007, 02:22 AM	#7 (permalink)
tenniels Insane Location: Oh Canada!!	It's a tough decision, but I agree that if you are not ready to raise a child and devote your life 100% to it, it's just not fair to the child to be brought into that situation. I agree that it may be a good idea to do some counselling afterwards, I imagine that the weight of your decision will have lasting effects. Also have you considered what you will be using for birthcontrol from now on (I'm not sure if you were using and it was a mistake, or weren't using etc) to prevent any furture pregnancies? Best luck girlie hugs __________________ I like things. And stuff. But I prefer to have things over stuff.

07-02-2007, 05:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
Shoowop Upright Location: My roots are in Michigan, but my heart is across the pond.	I feel for you tremendously. I have had an abortion and given a child up for adoption to do health reasons out of my control (I had to have a pacemaker implanted while 7 months pregnant because I was symptomatic to heart failure) I can honestly, HONESTLY, say giving my daughter up for adoption was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I was a wreck for a year after and still to this day, she'll be 6 this month and I still have a tough time on Mother's day, holidays and her birthday. Its open, so I can have contact if I want and the adoptive family wants me to have contact, but its still too hard. Having the abortion was much easier to deal with in the long run. Good luck to you. __________________ "They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?"

06-21-2007, 08:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
kate jack Tilted	Yikes. I hope that you've thought it all through because the decision is hard either way you go. Good luck and a safe surgery. Does the father know?

06-21-2007, 09:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Sad Cilli Willi Upright	I don't really feel that bringing the baby into this world at this point in my life would be the best thing in the world for any of us (the baby, myself, and the father). Downright and straight to the point, I'm too young, too irresponsible, and too unstable with my life and with the relationship with the father. We've only been dating for about 5 months. Half the reason that I'm choosing this is because the father is not ready either. It's not that he hasn't got a job or isn't financially stable and whatnot (that's hardly the case)...I just know that emotionally he's not ready to dedicate himself to a child if he's still not ready to dedicate himself to me. I'm fortunate enough that I won't actually have to go through surgery - I'm going to be taking a pill that will cause me to miscarry. I don't think I could actually go through with it if they had to surgically do anything to remove it. I'm sad. This was not how I ever imagined my first pregnancy to be. And I know that the next one, no matter when it happens, will happen - 9 month term and everything.

06-21-2007, 07:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Have you considered adoption?

07-02-2007, 05:43 AM	#9 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	How did it go? How are you holding up? I hope you did take/are taking some counseling - that would be a really rough time for any of us, no matter how strong we are. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

07-06-2007, 06:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
Sad Cilli Willi Upright	A week and a day later, however, I can tell you that I have never bled so much before in my entire life, and of course this horrible shit had to happen to me on my first 12 hour shift in a week (not counting the night shift I worked). I can honestly say that I will never do this again. Next time I get pregnant, it'll be meant to be. I'm not going through this horror. Which reminds me, I need to go change my pad again. This whole ordeal's been the reason I haven't been on here. Sorry, ladies, if anyone was worried. It's been extremely rough. I have an appointment with a counselor next week.

07-10-2007, 10:00 AM	#11 (permalink)
katyg Tilted	If you ever need to talk then private msg me. I had a very similar situation 9 months ago, it was more horrific than I thought it would be, very upsetting, and my hormones were all over the place for weeks - I felt suicidal! My thoughts are with you and I understand what you are feeling xxx

07-10-2007, 10:07 AM	#12 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Thanks for updating us, SCW. I hope the counseling will help you, and that you'll be okay soon. I'm sorry it was so rough. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

07-10-2007, 10:56 AM	#13 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Oh, wow, indeed, what an intro. SCW, I hope everything works out for you, and I hope you feel better soon. hugs __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

07-13-2007, 02:06 PM	#14 (permalink)
Adri Tilted Location: Orange County (the annoying one)	I had an abortion 6 years ago and I still get teary if I think about it too much. :hug: I hope everything works out for you.