I'm a bit depressed and seeking advice - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

xxxafterglow · 09-27-2007, 08:47 AM

Hey Jen - first, congrats on graduating!

And secondly, this might sound odd but your situation sounds like the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself.

You can move to your dream city (New York? Amsterdam? Portland? Sydney?) and start a new life. In the best way, you've got no baggage (boyfriend, family, comfy job, solid group of friends you'd never leave) to hold you back.

The only way you'll figure out what you want out of life is to get out of your parents' house and start freely discovering the joys of being you. You CAN drive (no car? public transit!) yourself to work, you CAN get out of your hometown, you CAN get a swanky job you like, you CAN find people you enjoy hanging out with, you CAN have a totally sweet life!!!

A lot of kids who grow up very sheltered by their parents (me, too) have to push themselves to grow beyond their comfort zones (set in place by parents). But you'll never know how capable you are unless you are given opportunities to prove it.

Anyway, this is my practical advice. While you're living at home, get any job that will allow you to get out of the house, meet people and earn some savings for your great new life. Office job, temp agency, waitress, barista, retail ho - anything. Money's money. Get your own bank account and get your own credit cards (if you don't have them already). Start scouting for places to live (Craigslist). Send your resume out. SAVE EVERYTHING. I recommend having three month's rent / living saved up before you move but I've moved with far less. You can probably find a good apartment share in your new city on Craigslist - also a good place to meet people (I lived in a 10 person house with a bunch of cool ppl), and if you don't like it you can move (I moved three times in six months... kept upgrading as I made more cash ha ha).

And then... MOVE OUT ... and no matter how sad you feel initially upon moving, you will NOT regret it and you WILL feel better as soon as you get your life going there. DO NOT cave in and go back home. Force yourself to adapt.

You can also apply to progs for teaching English overseas or working a cruise ship etc. while you're living at home. Great experience and you can support yourself!

The best thing I ever did after college was to move to the other coast where I only knew two people in the city. You will realize how strong you are.

Good luck girl, you can do it!!!!!!

P.S. I'd consult your physician about Sam-E only b/c it comes with a warning that it may trigger a manic episode in some individuals - trust me, that is NOT something you want to go thru and many times, you'd don't realize it's coming til you're deep in (this happened to me when I went on Prozac).

And you know this - diet and exercise affect mood - worth a shot.

But I think a big change in your life will help you out of it more than medication will, especially b/c it seems your surroundings are directly contributing to your depression and it's not purely chemical.

Hippie-dippy moment: Do you know the tarot card The Hanged Man? At this time, you can hang in limbo and observe your situation and learn ... but eventually you will have to get back on the ground and get on with life... Anyway, I really empathize cuz I have been there too. Don't worry, keep your head up and keep looking forward!!! It's your life - dig it!

Jennifer · 01-18-2008, 03:31 PM

Thank you for your good advice. I haven't posted in awhile because I was embarrassed that I wasn't making any progress despite all of the helpful things people have said. However, I got my first real job recently so I felt like I had something real to post. I'm only a substitute secretary (even that needed experience! but luckily they made an exception for me because one of the secretaries in my high school gave a very good personal reference for me). I already went through the training and I'm officially in their system, so now I just have to wait for people to skip work

It's definitely not my dream-job, but at least I'm getting somewhere

Jenny_Lyte · 01-18-2008, 07:24 PM

I'm graduating in May too, so I know what a terrifying time it is. As for not knowing too many people, the only thing I could suggest, and if it's already been mentioned, I'm sorry, but try and get involved in as many activities on campus as you can. Join clubs, go to sporting events and all that. You'll meet a bunch of people.

hunnychile · 01-19-2008, 08:25 AM

I'm glad to hear that you got a job! No job is perfect but at least this is a starting place and hey - You Did It!!

There are lots of us here who are on your side, hoping things continue to improve for you. Keep us posted. Taking "baby steps" is still moving forward

09-27-2007, 08:47 AM	#41 (permalink)
xxxafterglow Crazy Location: Berlin	Hey Jen - first, congrats on graduating! And secondly, this might sound odd but your situation sounds like the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can move to your dream city (New York? Amsterdam? Portland? Sydney?) and start a new life. In the best way, you've got no baggage (boyfriend, family, comfy job, solid group of friends you'd never leave) to hold you back. The only way you'll figure out what you want out of life is to get out of your parents' house and start freely discovering the joys of being you. You CAN drive (no car? public transit!) yourself to work, you CAN get out of your hometown, you CAN get a swanky job you like, you CAN find people you enjoy hanging out with, you CAN have a totally sweet life!!! A lot of kids who grow up very sheltered by their parents (me, too) have to push themselves to grow beyond their comfort zones (set in place by parents). But you'll never know how capable you are unless you are given opportunities to prove it. Anyway, this is my practical advice. While you're living at home, get any job that will allow you to get out of the house, meet people and earn some savings for your great new life. Office job, temp agency, waitress, barista, retail ho - anything. Money's money. Get your own bank account and get your own credit cards (if you don't have them already). Start scouting for places to live (Craigslist). Send your resume out. SAVE EVERYTHING. I recommend having three month's rent / living saved up before you move but I've moved with far less. You can probably find a good apartment share in your new city on Craigslist - also a good place to meet people (I lived in a 10 person house with a bunch of cool ppl), and if you don't like it you can move (I moved three times in six months... kept upgrading as I made more cash ha ha). And then... MOVE OUT ... and no matter how sad you feel initially upon moving, you will NOT regret it and you WILL feel better as soon as you get your life going there. DO NOT cave in and go back home. Force yourself to adapt. You can also apply to progs for teaching English overseas or working a cruise ship etc. while you're living at home. Great experience and you can support yourself! The best thing I ever did after college was to move to the other coast where I only knew two people in the city. You will realize how strong you are. Good luck girl, you can do it!!!!!! P.S. I'd consult your physician about Sam-E only b/c it comes with a warning that it may trigger a manic episode in some individuals - trust me, that is NOT something you want to go thru and many times, you'd don't realize it's coming til you're deep in (this happened to me when I went on Prozac). And you know this - diet and exercise affect mood - worth a shot. But I think a big change in your life will help you out of it more than medication will, especially b/c it seems your surroundings are directly contributing to your depression and it's not purely chemical. Hippie-dippy moment: Do you know the tarot card The Hanged Man? At this time, you can hang in limbo and observe your situation and learn ... but eventually you will have to get back on the ground and get on with life... Anyway, I really empathize cuz I have been there too. Don't worry, keep your head up and keep looking forward!!! It's your life - dig it! __________________ Uh huh her. Last edited by xxxafterglow; 09-27-2007 at 09:22 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

01-19-2008, 08:25 AM	#44 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	I'm glad to hear that you got a job! No job is perfect but at least this is a starting place and hey - You Did It!! There are lots of us here who are on your side, hoping things continue to improve for you. Keep us posted. Taking "baby steps" is still moving forward __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

01-18-2008, 03:31 PM	#42 (permalink)
Jennifer Upright	Thank you for your good advice. I haven't posted in awhile because I was embarrassed that I wasn't making any progress despite all of the helpful things people have said. However, I got my first real job recently so I felt like I had something real to post. I'm only a substitute secretary (even that needed experience! but luckily they made an exception for me because one of the secretaries in my high school gave a very good personal reference for me). I already went through the training and I'm officially in their system, so now I just have to wait for people to skip work It's definitely not my dream-job, but at least I'm getting somewhere

01-18-2008, 07:24 PM	#43 (permalink)
Jenny_Lyte Upright	I'm graduating in May too, so I know what a terrifying time it is. As for not knowing too many people, the only thing I could suggest, and if it's already been mentioned, I'm sorry, but try and get involved in as many activities on campus as you can. Join clubs, go to sporting events and all that. You'll meet a bunch of people.