lilfle

ok, so here's the situation

my boyfriend and i do not have sex, but have fooled around with him fingering me and me giving him head, etc. we have never had vaginal intercouse.

so last month, my period comes 2 or 3 days late, which it usually fluctautes a day or so either early or late, so i didn't freak out too much. we had fooled around like 1 or 2 weeks prior, only once the whole month, and it was straight up 69, virtually no way for semen to get down there.

my period was normal one day, and then barely at all the next, and then light, and then barely at all the fourth day. i am usually fairly heavy for the first 2 or 3, then it tapers off. this freaked me out a bit. i have been under some stress with a new job, my mom and her dad have been fighting a bit, plus summer just hit and we never turn on our air conditioner until absolutely necessaray, so it has been very hot.

could all of these things contribute to my late/light period?

i am such a worry wort, i have been worrying for 2 weeks straight, i make myself think that my boobs are sore, but they really aren't unless i think about it, kinda like a headache that isnt there until you think about it, and i haven't felt sick or hungry or anything. i also have tricked myself into thinking my boobs are bigger, the nipples aren't bigger or darker, i know it has to just be me completely freaking out.

my period should be here in a week or a week and a half, but i think that if i keep worrying, it will come late or not at all...

i just don't know what to do, is there any chance i could be pregnant? it seems virtually impossible, but i can't keep myself from worrying... i have told everything to him, we are very close, have been dating for 2.5 years and want to wait til marriage to have sex, he supports me in everything, but i am still worried...


absolutely any advice would be more than welcome. thanks so much for listening to me and helping.

-lilfle

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savvypup

I wouldn't be too worried. I just missed one too - only the second I've missed in 18 years and although you know there's no possibility, you do fret, but if you haven't had proper intercourse, don't stress too much. I think you'll find this is perfectly normal ......... and stressing out wouldn't help either.

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ciao bella!

snowy

If his penis has never been near your vagina, there is nothing to worry about. At all.

Light/missed periods are common in times of stress. Calm down.

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little_tippler

you're probably just worrying too much and it's affecting your body, and your cycle. Seems unlikely that you're pregnant. Relax and things will probably go back to normal soon.

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We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

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raeanna74

As was said, if his penis was not near your vagina then you don't need to worry. Hormones fluctuating can cause sore breasts ANY time. I get sore/sensitive breasts just before my period normally.

Do you by any chance feel guilty about fooling around? Why are you so anxious about the possibility even though your own logic seems to be telling you that you can't possibly be pregnant? If you can answer those I think you'll be on your way to letting your anxiety go.

Things are fine. Don't worry.

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lilfle

we always feel guilty afterwards, not immediately, but a day or so after. we know we shouldnt, we don't have protection, and we really want to wait for after marriage, after college, more financial stability, etc, but in the heat of the moment, we end up fooling around. it has usually been much more, but we have been trying our damndest to not do it. this was the only slip up that whole month, and we did feel bad, but then like ususal, we got over it and just said, "we'll have to do better next time."

thank you so much for all of your input, i do feel better knowing that you all think that, and i just need to keep telling myself it is okay, and things are fine. i just can't stop thinking about it! aah!

again, thank you for all of your help, i really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

i do swear that my boobs are slightly bigger though, at least the right one is.. i'm probably playing a trick on myself thinking that, but i swear it is bigger than it was. i'm 20, can they still grow a bit? it probably isn't, but i haven't really ever paid attention to it until now, and of course, with my fretting, i can't wrap my mind around what it was like before, since i didn't feel the need to inspect them that closely.

i'm sure i'm just fretting, but anyways, there's my thoughts.

again, thank everyone so much, you have helped my mind to be at ease a bit more than it was, i will come back and read this more to calm myself down in hopes that it will work!

thanks,
lilfle

btw, you all are so great, i read alot more than i post, and the information here is wonderful, absolutely great.

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mixedmedia

Your breasts may be bigger, especially since you are close to your period. Mine fluctuate every month....almost a full cup size!

lilfle

thank you, i didn't know that, i plan to keep track closely through the next month to know these things, i will write them all down.

thank you for your input

lilfle

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JustDoll

lil fle, from personal experience, STRESS is definitely the reason why your period is irregular or even absent. i don't think you should be worried about being pregnant.... althought ofcourse.. you can just go down to the drugstore to get a preg test..just to verify

My recent experience with missed periods was absolutely terrible. I actually missed 3 consecutive periods (since MARCH of this year to be exact) with a high chance of getting pregnant :/ I was stressed alright.. esp. when you have to cope with school and all that..at the same time.....anway..I got an @home preg test and got negative...then I went to get tested at the clinic along with my body check ..and still negative.. so i started to worry about whether im messed inside..like my ability to ovulate... (which was even more scary...than being pregnant) When April rolled in, i was extremely stressed cuz it was my exam period.....and i even posted here to ask fellow TFP ladies if they know of pills that can postpone my period... but.. the thing is..even without taking medication my period still never made it in APRIL...siGhz... But I'm happy to say that i finally got my period this month.. never been so happy about getting my period ... This is when i finally realized that..all along it was all due to the stress level that accumulated...which causes the my body to lose track of time..hence..missed periods.. Even when you think u're not stress...that doesn't make the difference.. if u are stress..then u are..and thats how your body will respond to it.....So my word of advice.. dont worry ..be happy [that was long.. ]

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It's like you slit my throat, watched me bleed to death, and asked my dead body why I was screaming in so much pain.

Green Tea

If I were you I wouldn't worry too much because it's pretty normal for periods to fluctuate and stress is a big factor to it too... If you want to be safe then buy one of those pregnancy tests maybe a week after your period's suppose to come...

genuinegirly

my boobies change size depending on diet as well as hormones. If i'm eating more, I gain weight there first (what a blessing!). Don't worry about the little things. See a doctor or get a pregnancy test if you're really concerned. but honestly... you should be fine.

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alleonna

lilfle, you don't have to worry that much if no penetration occur. But if you're really worried why not consult a doctor? Knowing the result would really make you feel better. Goodluck!

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water_bug

There is no way you are pregnant. Everything from diet to season to hormones to stress can affect a period. See a doctor if you like but I think you're fine.

lilfle

again i thank everyone for all of your help. i was absolutely terrified to get a preg test, i knew i wasn't, but just couldn't help but to let my mind wander. needless to say, like a week ago my period came and MY GOD it was the most horrible one i have ever had. i thikn it totally made up for the lack there of last time. my cramps lasted for 3 days, and they were so bad the first day that i couldn't sit still or do anything for more than 5 minutes before having to change position or get re-situated. it was horrible, the second day they were like normal, and the third day they were light, but sill there.

i'm very glad for it though, and i really do appreciate everyones help and support, it really does mean alot to me.

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lilfle

as stupid as i feel, here i am again,

5-6 days before my period was supposed to start this month, my bf and i once again fooled around, i gave him head, 69, he fingered me, etc. there was no sex, and his penis was not close to my vagina. afterwards, and he cleaned up, we showered together, but did not do anything, and again, it wasn't close to me.

well my period should have started friday, and it is sunday. my body has been on a weird schedule, with working nights and now it is back to normal. also with my rediculously heavy painful period last month, i thought perhaps it was just going to take a while, or be a couple days late.

as you know, i am a horrible worrier. i have felt slightly crampy today, and my boobs do NOT hurt, which usually means it's on its way, especially since they hurt a bit the last couple days, or so i think, my mind does play enormous tricks on me to believe things i shouldn't. also, today, i have felt a bit queazy. my sister has been sick last week, and i might have that, but with the other information, i am of course, fearing the worst.

i know that stress does not help, but i can't make myself feel better. i know that pregnancy can come at any time of the month, but usually has the best chance around day 15, which would have been nearly a week before we did stuff. we hadn't done anything at all since my last period when i wrote last.

any advice or information or knowledge would be graciously accepted, and sorry for the long post.

one last question: if my period does miraculously come and it is light, should i worry still or not?

oh, one more thing, my sister (who i live with, at home) had her period like a week early (she is young and irregular yet), and i have heard talk about when women live together, their periods often regulate each other, could that also have something to do with mine, or am i making excuses?

please help if you can, i don't know what else to do at the moment.

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ngdawg

If you are fearing 'the worst', why on Mother Nature's green earth are you having sex???
Does this sink in at all?
OK, off mother mode......
If you are under 20, chances are that you are not 'regular' yet, especially if you are a dancer or athlete. Also, constant stress will affect your period and if there are other stresses going on and then you're THIS worried about it, you're creating a vicious cycle.
Do NOT, repeat NOT, go by the myth of '15 days'. You can get pregnant most anytime, it's just that on average, it works out to about 15 days.
And, please for the love of everything decent, get yourself some BC or condoms!!!!! Stop the sex until then.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

lilfle

plan to, we do

i am an athlete, but not extremely competitive or anything, my period has been semi-regular until the past 2-3 months...

i just turned 20 a few months ago, i have lost a bit of weight, only like 10 pounds, and just got back from vacation, which was long days and eating out the whole time

other than that, the heat is also horrible here, plus the heavy period last time

i am just worrying myself sick.

we do plan on not having sex, and we've never had vaginal intercourse, we've just fooled around, which i know is no excuse...

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Sultana

And yet, here you are, writing again, about this horrible fear. I understand fear, but I do not understand refusing to take precautions to avoid this unneccessary anxiety.

Listen to ngdawg. You wrote here for advice, this is the advice you are getting. It's damn fine advice too.

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ngdawg

Fingering and giving head, fooling around, etc...is having sex, it's just not having intercourse. It's like having ice cream without the syrup. It's semantics. "Yea, we practice sodomy, but our genitals haven't been formally introduced yet".
Any chance you're feeling guilty about what you're doing because deep down you know it's a form of sex? Then you worry, fret, get everything blown out of proportion and the cycle begins.....just a thought.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

lilfle

yes, i do feel guilty, we have talked numerous times, and we both agree that it needs to stop, we both want it to stop, we are working at it, that is a huge part, but i am also just totally freaked out because we did it even though we know we shouldnt.

the chance of pregnancy is so slim though, right, considering no semen was even near my vagina? thats' what i'm hanging on to, but the guilt and the fact that i am going on 3 days late here does also really play on my nerves and then that makes it worse. it is a viscious cycle...

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ngdawg

First, you need to calm down. Second, you really need to educate yourself. For a woman of 20, you really don't seem to know very much regarding such intimacy (unless of course you aren't 20, which is a whole other issue).
Understand that sexual intercourse isn't simply for procreation, it's expression, it's sharing, it's supposed to be fun, not riddled with guilt.
I don't know why you think this is such an awful thing that you're driving yourself crazy over it; whether it's upbringing, religion or whatever, you really really have to
understand that it's a natural act, not a shameful one and when there's deep love, it's the ultimate moment two people can have together.
Please get educated and get rid of this guilt that's making you nuts.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

lilfle

so today is one week from when we did our stuff. personally, i would imagine that after 1 full week, if there were a chance at pregnancy, or if i were pregnant, i would feel something by now. tender boobs, sickness, something. this leads me to believe that i have just led myself on. i do agree with ngdawg that it shouldn't be shameful, but as our parents do not know what we do and we have vowed to ourselves and each other to "wait for marriage," you can imagine how i feel after a lapse in this vow.

for a little update for anyone who wishes to know, i do not feel sick at all, my boobs do not hurt at all, and i have been feeling a bit crampy the past few days. this crampy stuff, i am wondering if that is my "period" that just isn't bleeding. perhaps the stress, heat, extreme period of last month, and just everything, is making my period so light this month that all i am feeling is slightly crampy.

i am trying to stay positive about teh entire situation. we do not want to be pregnant now, and i know we should have taken precautions, or hell, not have done anything to begin with, but since the past is over, i am trying to stay positive about it. i think that since it hsa been a week with no symptoms of pregnancy, we are okay. if we lapse again, which i hope not to do, we will take precautions, i have had enough scares.

the ony thing that bugs me is why i dont have my period. any help at all would be accepted gratefully, any advice or assistance. again, thank you all.

one last thing, if i don't have my period, but still do not feel any symptoms of pregnancy, when woudl be the appropriate time to use a home pregnancy test? i am hoping it doesn't come to that, but just wondering.

thanks.

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Demeter

Check the labels on the pregnancy tests. Some can be used as soon as you've missed your period. If you do not get your period this month, even if the test shows a negative, do a follow up test at your doctor's office just in case.

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ngdawg

I'm still trying to figure out if you haven't had intercourse, how you think you're pregnant....swallowing hard won't do it. And if your genitals have gotten THAT close together and you haven't had intercourse, you need to teach will power classes.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

lilfle

i'll keep that in mind. i think its just the timing, the fact that i am 5 days late, probably won't have my period at all this month by the looks of things, and that we did that a week and a day ago.

your comments have been reassuring though, thank you.

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lilfle

hey, just an update, my period started yesterday, 5 days late, so i am happy and relieved. tahnks again for all your help over the past few days. we plan on not having sex (of any kind) until marriage now, but if we happen to slip up or something, we will be protected. i do not want to go through the horror of everything again.

thanks

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maleficent

No buts there... DO NOT HAVE SEX, of any sort, UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT...

Take the time to educate yourself about your body, get thee to a GYN and ask questions if you do not know... Perhaps think about birth control for when you do get married...

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lilfle

i meant but...we plan to have protection... just to clarify there

we plan to wait or be protected, we are just young and stupid, hopefully less stupid now, i have learned my lesson, it took twice, but its learned, luckily without huge consequences, just emotional growth-providing ones

thanks for your help

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