Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Ladies Lounge


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-05-2006, 08:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: FLORIDA, USA
men...why do they flip flop?

hey ladies,

I am new on the forum but I have been reading almost all day and you gals seem to give very good advice.
sooo.....

I was friends with this guy for about 2 mths, we started to date, well my so called best friend(she isn't anymore) was talking mad crap about me. I read the logs he had from their im's. So I know it was tru. Well he stopped communication with me totally. But after about a month he called me and we talked about everything and realized what was going on. So we started hanging out again. About 3 months later we started dating agian this time we moved into a relationship about 2 months after dating. Everything was going great, he started working alot cause it was his busy season at work. I totally understand that and didn't preasure him when he cancelled or said he was really tired. I knew his job was a busy and it always took alot out of him. He was telling me how happy I make him and that we were meant to be etc..

Then I start feeling like something is missing, I couldn't put my finger on it. But something definitly changed. One sunday I went to his house to pick up some money he owed me from the carton of cigs I bought him and he said we need to talk..(god i hate that) but he said that he dosen't feel it, he honestly tried and he says it just feels like we are best friends, well I agreed to a point and said yes I was feeling like something has changed also.

We hang out like we use too and it is fine with me, my issue is that I still think we have a connection. And I know you can't make someone like you. But for some odd reason something wont let me let go. I am friends with all my ex boyfriends. But this one is different.

What should I do????
STEPHY is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 08:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
read the logs he had from their im's
Just curious, how did you come to read the logs? Was he aware of this?

You are correct, you cannot make someone like you. If you don't think you can be just friends (and i will take "just friends" over some relationships I've had) then move on... If you are hoping that he'll look up one day and fall madly in love with you - -you might be waiting a long time... and miss out on some other pretty terrific guys out there.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 08:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: FLORIDA, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
Just curious, how did you come to read the logs? Was he aware of this?
yes, he showed them to me. I didn't believe my best friend would say some of the things he was telling me.

I would never snoop in someone's computer that is too low!
STEPHY is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 08:50 AM   #4 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by STEPHY

I would never snoop in someone's computer that is too low!
good girl

he just really doesn't sound like he knows what he wants... and sounds like he's got some growing up to do... you can do better than that...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 09:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
Heliotrope
 
cellophanedeity's Avatar
 
Location: A warm room
Firstly, because flip flops are comfier than heels.

He may be flip flopping because he wants to like you, especially since you guys are such great friends. It seems to make sense that good friends should equal good partners, but it often doesn't work like that. There's probably attraction which gets you together over and over, but when you try it, it doesn't work how you want it to.

So if you think you're never going to get over him, and that he'll never commit and settle down, then either suck it up and just be friends, or end the whole thing.
cellophanedeity is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 09:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
Fancy
 
shesus's Avatar
 
Location: Chicago
I agree that he sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. However, you can't use that as an excuse to think that one day he will wake up and realize he wants you. If you've tried it twice and it hasn't worked, it's time to move on. I hope that it works out for you and you find someone that you can be both best friends and lovers with. It's definitely worth the search and no one should settle for any less imo.
__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it


Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company
shesus is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 10:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: FLORIDA, USA
yes i understand what you all say. And I am fine with being best friends with him.

I guess maybe that is just it, because we click soo well that it feels that we should be together but when we try it just doesn't work.

Your best friend should be a great lover but I guess not in this case.
STEPHY is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 03:25 PM   #8 (permalink)
Addict
 
Well I'll go against the grain and say it sounds like he does know what he wants, and it ain't you. At least he didn't use you for sex, borrow money and never repay you, or cheat on you with your friends.

Sometimes a good friend is better than no friend.
percy is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 05:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: FLORIDA, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by percy
Well I'll go against the grain and say it sounds like he does know what he wants, and it ain't you. At least he didn't use you for sex, borrow money and never repay you, or cheat on you with your friends.

Sometimes a good friend is better than no friend.
funny you should say that, my ex husband cheated on me with my friends, do I know you?

Yes I know he dosen't want me, which is fine, the problem I was asking was why they flip flop tell you one thing and then turn around and do another.
STEPHY is offline  
Old 06-05-2006, 06:45 PM   #10 (permalink)
Addict
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by STEPHY
funny you should say that, my ex husband cheated on me with my friends, do I know you?

Yes I know he dosen't want me, which is fine, the problem I was asking was why they flip flop tell you one thing and then turn around and do another.
I don't think you know me. I don't diddle with other peoples bedmates

Could be alot of reasons. I really hate to say the overblown,over used "he's afraid of commitment" but maybe he really likes you alot and is feeling a little scared of his thoughts and emotions and to be fair to you, would rather be friends right now so that later something might come about.

You know it is funny.Everyone of the couples I know who are married or have been in a relationship for some time, all started out being friends. Maybe that will happen to you.

Edit; Must add--of all the boys who flip flopped with me or my friends the reason was simple.They were boys not men. And if they are men and they flip flop consistently, then they are either frauds or guys who aren't mature enough to not play games

Last edited by percy; 06-05-2006 at 06:49 PM..
percy is offline  
 

Tags
flip, flop, menwhy

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:05 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360