Girlfriend pregnant from fingering
 

...I can't believe what is happening now. I visited my girlfriend in college and we did more than we usually do. We only kissed before and this time I fingered her and she HJ me. Well... ok you can't get pregnant from something like that.. or so I thought.

I thought if I dont put my penis close to her vagina we are safe... well 4 days after I left she says her boobs hurt. They hurt for a day or two only. Now I am going to visit her again (last time I visited her was 3 weeks ago). Her period was due about 5-6 days ago and It didnt happen. Fuck I was hoping sore boobs were cause that was the first time I sucked on them.

This is so screwed up. FUCKING precum or some shit like that must have gotten on my hand or something before I fingered her. This is ridiculus. I never even thought about that. I thought I was being completely safe and they day I left I realized that might have happened but such a low chance that touching your precum then fingering her is gonna get her pregnant. Now the missed period... omfg

Some stuff about me and her. We are both 18, almost 19. We live one state away. And there is 100% trust between us. I know you might say that she probobly cheated, but I know she didn't. She was scared of penises before we did that stuff. There is NO QUESTION about cheating.

Now what even worse stuff. I am American, she is Thai. She is the daughter of a thai diplomat. Strict conservative Thai parents. We both have big plans for college and school after that.

Now the worse. I never really talked about abortion to her but I think she is against it. Considereing all the shit a kid would give us. Her parents would probobly hate her, not hate but be completely devastated. She cant wear a even slightly sex shirt cause it is bad image of the parents. Think what a pregnancy would do. Thai people are weird that way it would be such a fucking mess. They would hate me too. My parents love me and trust me so much that would all be destroyed. Worse thing that could ever happen. And I always thought I was so freakin carefull. If I even knew there was a .000000001 chance of her getting pregnant I wouldnt have done it.

Now the only thing that could make me ok is if she got an abortion. [edit] removed stuff about shit you dont have to hear about [edit] Maybe drugs and shit can make me feel better about this crap even although I never touched a cig in my life. Can that stuff really make you feel better and make it seem like your problems are gone?

Maybe I can convince her to get an abortion maybe not. Hopefully I will be able to cause I love her so much, I cant believe this happened. It would ruin her life.

[Edit] I'm gonna wait one more week so stress doesnt change her peroid more, then tell her she might be pregnant and tell her to get tested. She doesn't know the signs of pregnancy yet. So far she has had sore boobs, big appetite -especially meat-, and missed period. We even joked about how this would be the worse possible thing that could happen a while back.

OK I have been where you are now. My girlfriend and I did this and exactly the same thing happened. If this was her first time doing this with you then the emotional responces from that experience has messed with her hormones. With my girlfriend same effects: sore breasts, messed up cycle. Just get a pregnancy test before you even think about crazy ass shit!

Seriously, take three deep breaths, wait a little, have her take a test, and post me in the morning. Like I said, because you two went further than normal her emotions are just messing with her cycle. If nothing else, I'm wishing the best for you.

Buy a home pregnancy test.

Wow - to be honest, unless you have superman sperm the event of her being pregnant from that encounter is extreamly unlikly. Has she taken a test - you havn't expressed.
Talk to an MD - get some facts - talk to the girl .

If she is pregnant, because there was no penetration of the penis on your part I would suggest a paternity test anyway. For your own sanity.

I'm agreeing with Brooke here. Best solution. Until an expert joins this, go with the suggestions present.

Dont want to tell her yet. I am going to make sure the period is Missed not just late. Then I will tell her she can be pregnant and to take a test.

And as I said there is no way she has been doing stuff with other guys. And I am going to try to get her to get an abortion that is the only way things can be ok.

Actually it is VERY possible (although not extremely common) to get pregnant from precum even if his penis didn't insert her. I learned TONS on webmd (No im not an expert and yes, doctors have said that this can happen).

All i can tell you is to wait it out and have her take a test in a lil' while. Dont stress her out and don't stress yourself over this. Stressing gives you something to do but get's you nowhere, darlin.

alright. go out there, buy The Guide to Getting it On! by Paul Joannides. not only will it dispel your worries, but it'll teach you, in a fun and civilized manner, everything about sex and how it works.
i think that you need to sit down and have some serious dialouge with yourself about what you know about sex, because it seems you don't know a lot at all. precum, while having sperm in it, is an incredbily small amount of fluic and *if* some got on your finger it's *highly* unlikely that it would find its way up through her cervix, all the way across her uterus, up her fallopian tube to find an egg that's ready to be fertilized. if you're that worried about getting her pregnant, you don't need to be having sex with her unless she's on the pill and you're in a little rubber raincoat. plus i highly doubt she'd be having pre-pregnancy symptoms of boobs hurting four days after you left. that's a little early. i agree with the other posters here- her hormones are probably fluxing due to the emotional ups and downs you expierenced while going "to third base." also, if she's ignorant of the fact she could possibly be pregnant, it seems she's a bit too naive to be sexually active.

(disclaimer) I'm not saying this in a demeaning manner, but i DO think it's VERY important to be educated about sex and sexuality BEFORE something like this happens between you and your partner. *The More You Know*

late periods can be made later by stressing about it. I think you might be exaggerating the odds that she's actually pregnant in your mind and this is causing you undue stress.

If you really want to wait it out you can but I'd recommend a home test kit. Just make sure neither of your parents find it or the box or receipt...

Lots of stress CAN delay her period, many things can. Taking the test now certainly wont hurt anything. . It really depends if you're ready to find out NOW or later...and do take the precautions to make sure no one sees the box etc like bermuda mentioned.

I find it extremely disturbing that she hasn't taken a test yet, and you have her already talking about abortion and about how ruined her life will be... People get pregnant before they are ready, ya know what? they survive it, and so does the child. It forced the pregnantees into maturity pretty quickly. If, by some freak of nature she is pregnant, it's not the end of the world.

If her breasts are tender, that's actually pretty normal before a woman gets her period, if you think it's because she's pregnant -- 4 days later is entirely too soon for breast tenderness... Cravings of food wouldn't happen for a while either. Most women, don't realize that they are pregnant for at least the first month.

For some education for you:
Symptoms of Pregnancy
http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-symptoms
Most likely, you won't experience any pregnancy symptoms until about the time you've missed a period or a week or two later. If you're not keeping track of your menstrual cycle or if it varies widely from one month to the next, you may not be sure when to expect your period. But if you start to experience some of the symptoms below (not all women get them all) and you haven't had a period for a while, you may very well be pregnant. Take a home pregnancy test and find out for sure!

10. Tender, swollen breasts
One of the early hallmarks of pregnancy is extremely sensitive, sore breasts caused by increasing levels of hormones. In fact, the tenderness you may be feeling now is probably an exaggerated version of how your breasts may feel before your period. The tenderness will diminish significantly after the first trimester, once your rising hormone levels have stabilized and your body becomes accustomed to them.

9. Fatigue
Feeling tired all of a sudden? No, make that exhausted. Increased levels of the hormone progesterone and the extra effort your body requires to start making a baby can make you feel as if you've run a marathon when all you've done is put in a day at work. You should start to feel more energetic again once you hit your second trimester, although fatigue generally returns sometime around your seventh month.

8. Implantation bleeding
The fertilized egg begins to burrow into the lining of your uterus about six days after fertilization. Sometime after this you might notice a small amount of red spotting or pink or reddish brown staining. Only a minority of women experience this so-called "implantation bleeding." (If you have pain along with spotting or bleeding, call your practitioner immediately, since this can be a sign of an ectopic pregnancy.)

7. Nausea or vomiting
If you're like most women, morning sickness won't hit you until about a month after conception. (A lucky few escape it altogether.) But some women do start to feel queasy a bit earlier. And not just in the morning, either — pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting can be a problem morning, noon, or night. It tends to peak around 8 to 10 weeks, when your hormone levels are highest, and then will most likely taper off as you begin your second trimester.

6. Increased sensitivity to odors
It's not uncommon if you're newly pregnant to find that you're now overwhelmed by the smell of a bologna sandwich from several desks away and that certain aromas instantly trigger your gag reflex. This, too, may be a side effect of rapidly increasing estrogen in your system.

5. Food aversions
While some women insist they crave certain foods during pregnancy, food aversions are even more common. You may suddenly find certain foods you used to enjoy are now completely repulsive to you. This problem may come and go or last throughout your pregnancy.

4. Frequent urination
Shortly after you become pregnant, you may find yourself hurrying to the bathroom at an alarming rate. Why? It's primarily due to the fact that during pregnancy the amount of blood and other fluids in your body increases, which leads to extra fluid being processed by your kidneys and ending up in your bladder. This symptom may start as early as six weeks into your first trimester and remain or even get worse throughout your pregnancy.

3. A missed period
If you're usually pretty regular and your period doesn't arrive on time, you probably took a pregnancy test long before you would have noticed any of the above symptoms. But if you're not regular or you're not keeping track of your cycle, nausea and breast tenderness and extra trips to the bathroom may give it away before you realize you didn't get your period.

2. Your basal body temperature stays high
If you've been charting your basal body temperature and you see that your temperature has stayed elevated for 18 days in a row, you're probably pregnant.

And finally...

1. The proof: A positive home pregnancy test
It's best to wait until at least the first day of a missed period before you take a pregnancy test. (If it's negative, try the test again in a few days.) Once you've gotten a positive result, make an appointment with your practitioner. Now head on over to our pregnancy area. Also, don't forget to update your profile and sign up for our "My Baby This Week" newsletter. Congratulations!

I know quite a lot about sex safetey. Just the 1 situation that I never heard of anyone saying to watch out for was touching your penice before you finger someone.

And yes for the past 3 weeks I have been reading about precum and pregnancy. Yes chances are small but they are still there. The first week I almost passed out a couple times worrying about it untill I did research. I completely got over it and was expecting "did you have your period" "yup" me = happy. She didnt have it and now this completely screwed my nerves over. You guys seriously dont want to know what I edited out. I still feel it just dont want to give you guys more problems. Only the first person read it.

And think to yourself. Here are the symptoms she has been telling me about without even knowing it.

-Complaining a couple times a week how hungry she is.
-Complaining about boobs hurting about 4 days after. Then saying they feel deflated for about 2 weeks, then saying the feel small but full.. whatever that means.
-Sleepier than usual (has been going to bed a bit later)
-MISSED PERIOD by 4-7 days

Now add all this together... seems pretty obvious although I by no means claim to be an expert on women, but about 3 straight weeks of research all point to this.

Things I didnt say earlier
-First time anyone sucked her boobs
-First time anyone fingered her (she has done herself for about a year mabye once ever 2 weeks to a month she told me)
-She doesnt seem to be overy stressed about the fingering and actually quit excited about it. (not worrying or stressing about it from what I can tell)


Now can any of you seriously tell me "She is probobly not pregnant"
-

There is NO WAY that the symptoms you are describing would appear 4 days after you touched her...

So the only "real" symptom would be the missed period then right? That is still pretty significant. I seriously hope so.

Ribs,

I'd also have to say that her being pregnant will not RUIN your lives unless you have that outlook. Having a child can make you live and see what life is really about. It's one of the many joys in life. You CAN go to college even if she is pregnant and has a baby. You CAN still make a great life for yourselves. Many many people do it everyday and many many women do it ALONE every day. Take my bestfriend for example, has a baby boy and goes to work and school.. father isn't w/ her anymore. She's working hard, but she's VERY happy she kept Mason.

Abortion, in my opinion should be the last thing on your mind. However, this thread isn't about that.. so im moving on..

As far as symptoms go..

When i first got pregnant my breasts were sore BEFORE i missed my period, my appetite didn't really change for a while, i WAS nauseous BEFORE i missed my period (it almost felt like it was a few days after conception), i had NO implantation bleeding, my sense of smell didn't heighten until about 4wks of being pregnant.. EVERY woman is DIFFERENT.

Have her take the test ASAP. I couldn't wait.. I don't know how you can.

Either way, I hope everything works out for the best.

You know, if she had parents like me it would be ok and if she wanted I wouldnt mind her having the baby and giving it up for adoption. I love her so much and I know this would ruin everything for her. I don't think anyone here can really understand her parents situation.

She is here with her parents. She is Thai and has stirct parents even by Thai standards. Her parents are diplomats and they move ever 4 years or so. They dont want to let her hang out with cause exactly because of this kind of thing. She is trying to graduate college early and this would make it hard for her. When she comes back home to my state for vacation she cant be out of the house past 9pm and she is on college living alone on campus.

Seriously I want to be a dad but not now. Maybe 5 or 10 years from now. And we can always have a kid then. Dont have money, wouldnt be able to get a job, education wouldnt be finished. And the whole her parent issue no one can understand.

And the only reason I'm holding out on the test is she doesnt know she might be pregnant so that means she isnt going to stress over the missed period. If it comes in a week then good. If she stresses it might not come or something. So I going to wait a week untill I am sure its not comming then suggest to her what might be the cause.

My thoughts exactly. I very seriously doubt these symptoms are related to your sexual encounter. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say they're probably related to some sort of deficiency in her diet.

I hate to keep repeating others, but it should be mentioned again. While it's possible to get pregnant from 'fingering,' the chances are astronomical unless, like Brooke mentioned you're harboring a super-sperm factory in your pants and stress is most likely the explanation for the late period.

And for chrissakes, have her take a home pregnancy test. There's no sense getting all worked up until you have.

God damn ribs...just tell her to do the test. You two are stressing yourselves out way too much before you even know whats going on. I have read that extreme stress can also cause missed/late periods so this can't be helping (similar thing happened to a friend - 3 weeks late under all kinds of stress)...Just get a test and then start worrying. Also, symptoms of pregnancy dont usualy come that early usualy (except for missed periods)...also sore breasts could be a symptom of a little too much foreplay...Once my girlfriend and I had a similar scare after actual protected intercourse, we started freaking out then just got a test and we were ok.

Ribs,

I agree with visotech. Go out and take the test as well as see a doctor about this.

I know the stress is killing the both of you, but you need to find out where to go from here and taking the test is the logical step at this point.

Now is not the time to crawl into the bottle, nor is it the end of the world. Go out, take the test, then plan your next move. If the test is negative, re-test. If the test is positive, re-test.

-edit-
my crappy spelling.

I guess that makes me the first person, and no, that is not a plausible solution to anything. Anything.

This is new to me! I didn't know that was possible. You should get a home pregnancy test before you drive yourself nuts.

Too late!

Look, couples have scares like this all the time. lurkette and I had one back in college.

Unless she's a super-clockwork woman, it's pretty normal for a woman's cycle to vary by a few days every month. She's not even a week late yet (you've said "4-7" days). That's not a missed period, it's a late period.

I can guess what you edited out, by the way, and shame on you for even thinking about it. A real man owns up to his mistakes, he doesn't take himself off the hook.

Most important: you need to tell her your fears upfront, regardless of whether or not her period comes. If she doesn't know how important this is to you, then she doesn't know you, and that means something's not right in your relationship.

I have Thai family, so don't assume that "no one will understand" that part. Upper-class Thai women are notoriously overprotected and ignorant about their own bodies and sexuality. You two need to communicate and find out what she knows about sex, and assess exactly how much YOU know. If it ain't much, you'd better get talking and learning together before you start messing around again. Spend an evening at Barnes and Noble in the Sex section just browsing, if you're uncomfortable buying a book... she needs to understand anatomy, know the risks of sex, know the symptoms of pregnancy and/or other sex-related situations, before you guys take your clothes off again.

Also, if you "love her so much and know this would ruin everything for her," then why the hell are you messing around without any precautions? Either abstain until you can deal with the risk, or she can get on birth control without her parents knowing, and you can use a condom if you're that freaked out about pre-cum. If you really care, take the steps to show it, rather than letting your own fear and paranoia rule.

Wow. Dude, you are freakin out for nothing.

I complain to my friends about how hungry I am like every day. That doesn't mean anything except that I haven't eaten in a while. I'm not a woman, but I assume that girls feel hungry when they haven't eaten in a while also.

Seriously though dude, you are overreacting. Chill out. You don't know she's pregnant, you just think she is based on poor research. Sore breasts and hunger are also caused by other things than pregnancy.

Because I never knew that fingering her had the smallest chance of getting her pregnant. I wish someone told me this and I would have never touched her or let her touch me. Thats what makes it worse. And after the first time we did it I told her we should use a condom even although I "knew" that nothing can happen from this. Well I knew wrong.

And yes even if she isnt, which I'm still sure she is, I am going to talk with her about this stuff.

A mature adult who is ready to be sexually active would have talked about all of this stuff before they engaged in sexual activity. And yes, fingering and hand jobs do count as sexual activity.

And furthermore, a mature adult doesn't decide that his potentially pregnant girlfriend (who at this point is unaware) should get an abortion. You need to talk to her and you need to grow up.

I am going to talk to her. I thought I would have a talk with her before we decided to do anything that can get her pregnant. You guys realize that before this happened I thought it was just like kissing, no chance 0% of pregnancy. And yes I did lots of reading but nowhere did I see anyone make the connection of precum -> can get on finger -> can cause pregnancy . If I thought of this I would have never done it.

Here's the real bottom line of the thing: You've already decided she's pregnant, when you don't actually know.

It's impossible for you to make a rational decision right now because you're totally freaking out. You've got to get a handle on yourself here. Talk to her about what you're afraid of, but DON'T tell her you're sure of anything or you know anthing, because you DON'T. Tell her you want her to do a home test just to ease your mind. Because that's what it really is.

Im leaving to visit her in 1 hour for valentines week. The drive is about 5 hours. Should I tell her this week when I am tell her to take the test? If its positive what should I tell her? Shes probobly gonna pass out if it is or something. Should I get her to a hospital then? Just back to the room and wait till she wakes up?

there might be some advice for you from this thread where the other guy thought HIS g/f was preggie from the same thing

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ight=fingering

that describes me the week before and first 3 days of my period

short answer No
long answer No, drugs make you STOP caring about your problems you know they are there and when you sober up they are still there. doing drugs to solve anything is a horrible idea and can turn a bad situation into a terrible situation for months or years

Yo! Seriously. Listen to ratbastid. Why buy into misery before it goes on sale?

I really doubt she's pregnant. IF she happens to be by some off chance. DON'T FREAK OUT! You both have to take a step back and think this over. You both need to be completely honest on how you feel about the situation. When you get there have fun with her but talk to her about it. Just buy a home testing kit and go from there. There's no use in freaking out until you know where you're at.

As far as the drug question goes. A person should never take drugs to forget things..that when you get hooked. Been there done that. IT sucks. So no matter how this turns out.. stay away from the shit and do what you need to do to be responsible.

You really need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Dude, youre stressing me out.

Have you even read anything here? At all? If not, then do it. Then CHILL THE FUCK OUT some more.

My turn; My wife said to me one morning that her boobs hurt, and I looked at her and said "you're pregnant". Yep she was, but the difference is that this was weeks (let me emphasize WEEKS) after she actually conceived. There is no way your girlfriend would show signs that quickly. And let me weigh in with the others who said that stress can fuck with a woman's period. My wife became so obsessed with the fact that she didn't have a period (this was a while before she got pregnant, unrelated event) that she went two months without one. The doctors could find absolutely nothing wrong and were convinced that she was screwing up her body by stressing out about it.

You need to MELLOW THE HELL OUT

Im going to echo Averett:

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

Have you read a damn thing anyone has said? She is LATE. Its fucking NORMAL. CHILL OUT. Christ, if she was pregnant, she wouldnt have any of that stuff until at least of month from now. You just have yourself all worked up because you went further than you normally did and now are worried about it.

Once again:

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

Ok.. I'll chill out.. So I will just go over for valentines day and have fun, then during the next week I will be asking her about her period very inconspicuously, and if it doesnt happen over the next week I'll drive down and tell her what could be happening and go with her to get tested.

And now that I'm thinking this is stupid. If she doesnt get an abortion and decides to keep it then I am going to try my best to protect her from her parents... I wouldnt care much if I was the one getting pregnant cause I wouldnt have any family problems with it, but I am just so worried for her cause her plans for school and trying to earn the trust of her parents.

But like I said I'm gonna chill for a week and then try to do whats best.
Thanks guys. And I'll keep reading and update whatever happens.

"If she doesnt get an abortion and decides to keep it"

Dude, you need to take classes on how to mellow out.

Can we close this thread? Cause obviously he isn't listening and it's pissing everyone off. Or maybe it's just me.

Buy her a preg test for V day. :thumbsup:

I'm with you. He's getting advice from the best and just not listening. And it is rather irritating.

Have her take the fucking test!!!

Stop with the woulda coulda bullshit. Stop wondering what's happening and find out for sure.

If you're not going to take peoples advice, then stop posting. You're stressing everybody out.

StickODynomite gave you good advice about abortion. You don't love her much if you pressure her to kill her baby, not to mention your baby. It's obvious that neither of you is emotionally, or financially ready to be parents. But few of us are when we get that opportunity. We just buck up and deal with it.

One thing you've categorically denied as a possibility is that someone else impregnated your GF a few weeks or a month before you thiink you might have. Like it not, you don't know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this didn't happen. This is one of the major reasons people get married, and are faithful to their spouses. Even so, many estimate that as many as one child in five isn't really the child of its mother's husband. So, you'd be a little foolish to assume, categorically, that if she's pregnant, you're the father.

So use a home pregnancy test to find out if she's preggers. Then insist on a paternity test to find out if you're the father. Don't rush into the abortion action, as it can't be undone, ever. Rather, if the test proves she's pregnant, then talk first to your parents, and maybe then to hers, about what to do. They'll help you. And remember, she is almost certainly from an eastern religion. This will very strongly impact how she feels about abortion and about marriage, etc. You have a lot of learning to do.

Wow this thread is stressing me out too...Before we jump to conclusions

GET THE FREAKIN TEST before you start talking about "the babys" future, abortion, parents, and all that stuff. What is so hard about doing the test, go to the store, 15 bucks, pee on it, and wait 2 minutes. You've seriously got somethinking to do, and its not about 90% of the stuff said in this thread, its about the one line that everyones been repeating "GET THE TEST".

What Visotech said.

Umm, arrogance?

Seriously, what a shitty thing to say.

So if someone disagrees or doesn't listen here on the TFP, they should get shut down?

I admire your openmindedness :rolleyes: :|

Eh. Ignorance is bliss, no? Trust is important, but to ignore probability...let's just say I hope you're right.

nononono, but he's not even considering it as an option, it doesn't seem. So what was the point in posting if he doesnt want the advice. That was the only point I was trying to make.....

Just in case you missed it the first time:

OK, I am not saying that this is impossible, in fact it is very possible, however I don't think she is pregnant. I could be wrong here, but I really doubt it. Unless you came on your hand and put it directly to her vagina, it would be tricky. I hope it all works out for you.

Does anyone have some weed for this dude, he seriously needs to calm the fuck down.

Even if she has no suspicions of her own about what this might be and your are actually keeping her in the dark...

Your overly stressed out attitude is most definitely apparent to her whenever you talk to her. Because you are careless about and not assesing the things you think and then buy it to.

Your first problem is thinking with a clear head despite all the things going through it. It's understandable, the rashness you may have come into this situation with and the things you may have wanted to edit out, but your thought process has not changed much since then.

You are stuck worrying about the decisions you will have to make later (with abortion, and her parents, and your life being ruined), rather than the actions you need to take now.

With all this waiting your doing (which most think is a bad idea), it still may be that you've haven't yet stopped to think. Time escapes those who wait.

Finally, I thought I was going to read the entire thread without someone bringing this up. Going by what you've been posting it leaves little doubt. My flatmate is a social worker and sees this type of thing more than he should... a girl/woman having a one-off sexual encounter with boyfriend/husband to cover a pregnancy to another bloke. If she is pregnant (and for god sake find out for sure), your girl has alot of expaining to do, in time. You both have more important shit to deal with in the meantime, but it's a bridge that WILL have to be crossed.

*Me*: Are we live?
*Director*: Your on!

*clears throat*
<disclaimer> These are my opinions and I am in no way trying to be rude or insulting</disclaimer>

Allow me to throw in my logic into this thread.

Ribs, in my honest opinion I think you and your partner's first decision should have been to discuss what's going on, then take a pregnancy test (They are relatively cheap and it's a no questions asked kind of business at your local pharmacy EPT is a very good brand). A pregnancy test in no way would have A) Sped up a possible pregnancy and B) would have harmed any of you. A pregnancy test would have taken maybe 2 hours out of your lives depending on how far she is from a local drug store, 2 hours of anticipation vs. many hours of stress and aggravation.

I highly doubt (99.999%) that precum could have called a pregnancy, unless you physically helped my shoving the "substance" all the way up to her fallopian tube. Also whether you may or may not know when exposed to air most if not all sperm die almost instantly.

On a more serious note you have nothing to worry about, things got hot and she is feeling the after effects of it which aren't really all that bad.

Seriously though on a more serious note I think you should most definitely research sexual activity a lot more since you and your partner are novices.

If she is somehow pregnant I suggest a paternity test since I doubt you'd be the father (I heard crazy things about college man, next year'll be a blast heh) and if you are, man the fruit of your loins (and her womb) will be a beautiful thing.

So in short 1) Discuss with her 2) Get her to take the test 3) Post results.

It could be. Anyway, we don't close threads because people are receiving advice and choosing not to use it... or because people are so hung up on their own opinions that they get pissed when people don't follow them.

Dude, there are worse things in life. If nothing else, you can't be falling to pieces right now. If you want to freak out, do it later on after this all blows over. Which it will. Just remember that, no matter what, the world will keep turning. :)

dont worry about it chief, it is very unlikely that she is pregnant.most of the sperm dies in the vagina, and your pre cum barely went inside her, it had nothing to shoot with. dont buy her anything for valentines day, its a con.

Agree with everyone else.. and if it'll cure your worries buy a freaking test O_o and don't get the cheap one :p

My gf and I had a few scares like this a couple years ago.. I went and brought a test, no biggy, she peed on it and it was negative. How hard is that O_o

And then if you say "OMG how am I supposed to do this in private" you were obviously alone long enough to get things heated up O_o

You could do it the test way.. or stress yourself AND her out even more till then.. and then she'll miss/be late on that one too and it'll be a neverending cycle.. ;)

I normally wouldn't already post what other people have said, but aparrently this kid needs it drilled into his head...

Your girlfriend is not pregnant by you. If she is pregnant, you're not the daddy. I would bet lots of money on this.

On somewhat of a side note, how old are you? You don't seem very emotionally mature at all, and sice you said you're not in college yet it makes me question whether you're actually 18 or not. ...We have these rules for a reason, and part of that reason is to keep crap like this off the forum.

If you don't like the way he's dealing with advice, regardless of how good it may be, you can stop posting. Nobody is going to close a thread because a couple of members whine about some guy they never met (and whose existance they can't even confirm) not taking their advice. If you really can't stand it, there's an ignore list. Think about how you would feel if you honestly believed that you had ruined someone else's life and felt like everybody was against you. If you want to stop seeing it, then don't click on this thread when you see it. I'll be extra nice and put a tag on it saying (Now With Pregnancy Test Results) if and when he tells us. The absolute last thing he needs is what a few people are doing be getting mad at him.

Now, to address the topic at hand.

It's possible for a woman to still experience monthly bleeding up to 4-6 months into a pregnancy. It's also possible for a healthy woman with an irregular cycle to miss an entire cycle when an illnes or stress (either positive or negative stress,) messes with her body.

You have to talk to her. You have to address the subject directly instead of beating around the bush. You have to support her through whatever choice she makes (if she has a kid, legally, you have no right to do anything other than pay child support.)

How can things be ok when you have killed your child?

Don't want to be the one to open up the abortion debate but if your girlfriend does not want to abort, then CONSIDER ADOPTION. Many, MANY couples cannot bear their own children and would love to take in an adorable Thai child.

If your and her parents cannot understand that you were careful and it's not your fault, and you are being as responsible as you can, then they are the ones doing wrong, not you.

is this for real? you say you haven't discussed any of this with her yet and she doesn't know she might be pregnant, you're just freaking out alone. if that is accurate, how do you know her period is late by 4-7 days?

perhaps i'm just odd, but i never shared my cycle dates with any of my boyfriends (particularly at 18). and most girls that young i know would be hard pressed to say their period was late by 4-7 days without looking at a calendar, much less any of their bf's noticing when they weren't even sexually active yet.

if you're not making up a little story, then you have already gotten plenty of good advice, but the whole thing just seems more than a bit off to me...

i agree with bad jane..somethings not right about this story...

honestly if shes so reserved that you guys JUST went to 2nd base then why the hell would she be sharing her monthy cycle info...

also..couldnt help but notice..you keep saying that YOUR life going to be ruined and that your going to try to bug her to get an abortion..all i have to say to that is what the hell is wrong with you?

if your really as old as you say you are and this is real...have her take a simple test and talk to her about it..otherwise why are you on here?

How can things be ok when you have killed your child?

Don't want to be the one to open up the abortion debate but if your girlfriend does not want to abort, then CONSIDER ADOPTION. Many, MANY couples cannot bear their own children and would love to take in an adorable Thai child.

If your and her parents cannot understand that you were careful and it's not your fault, and you are being as responsible as you can, then they are the ones doing wrong, not you.


I completely agree, putting a child up for adoption is the best alternative to abortion. Also there are many risks with getting an abortion and in some cases women die during the procedure, then imagine the grief you would suffer and then her family will suffer as well. A child isn't a bad thing, it's something that's supposed to be wonderful and joyous and if you feel that physically/mentally/emotionally/or financially you and your partner cannot handle it then I suggest adoption. (That is if she's pregnant which I doubt). Also I too am a bit wary of your age, you do not come off as an 18 year old...

Ribs: (fighting the temptation to type in all caps, since it doesn't really make my own voice any louder...) You already have a plethora of good advice. Relax, ask her to take a pregnancy test, and then be prepared to deal with the possible answers. Worry is a patent waste of time and energy, solving nothing. Panic is everyone's worst enemy. If she's not pregnant (most likely) then there simply is no issue, except your own panic. If she is, then you have to look at all of the possible solutions that you can, and remember that you are not the only one with a say in the matter. You'd be surprised how much people with different morals or standards become flexible when one of their loved ones is involved. Even Dick Cheney, staunch old Republican that he is, has a gay daughter. His standard of loving his child took presidence over his republican standard. RELAX man. Life is in no way over either way. May I suggest CONDOMs in the future?

Peace to you!

People always think their parents will react in the worst possible way - you will most likely be surprised at her parents reaction IF she is actually pregnant.

You automatically assume that if she is even a week late, she must be pregnant. Let me share something with you from my *own* little pregnancy scare. For some reason beyond me, I decided one month that I was absolutely convinced that I was pregnant. But I started stressing about the possibility before I was even due to have my period. And then I started getting stomach pains and cramps. I was so stressed out that I started making myself sick with worry over this. Guess how late I was? OVER TWO WEEKS! But, I did get my period. Some girls, like me, have wacky schedules anyways. And adding any sort of stress can change that. Or more exercise. Or eating less. Or getting sick. There are SOOO many things that can alter when you actually get your period, and I don't think you should be worrying until all the facts are in. And if you are already worrying this much over fingering her, I would highly recommend that you do not have sex until you mature A LOT. This is not meant to be demeaning, I just don't think that you or your girlfriend are ready for the world of sex.


And now onto the drug thing. I used to use drugs to kill the pain. And while I didn't feel anything while I was high, it always came back much worse than before afterwords. And I hated myself because of what I was doing. It doesn't solve things, it only makes them worse. First of all, it alters your personality, it kills brain cells, and it costs money. You are in college, and I highly doubt you have a ton of money to just blow.

Oh, and I'm sorry, but you shouldn't EVER try and pressure someone to get an abortion. That may seem like the only way out to you, but really it isn't your decision. It's hers

Thanks for the responses everyone. I have chilled out a lot. Had the best valentines day of my life and realized how much she means to me. I'm back in my city now.

Like I said earlier I am going to wait untill this friday and then if she didnt have her period yet I am going two pregnancy tests and drive over and tell her in person.

I am not going to pressure her into an abortion if she is pregnant but I WILL tell her what my thougts are on this. This is both of our lives and her body. And many of you seem to have missed where I said that this would not ruin my life but it would screw up hers.

So anyways I'm chill now and I have a plan and I WILL accept responsibility if she is pregnant even although we both had no idea this was possible.

(and to all the people that said I was not listening to you, I was. I don't know if any of you had a crisis and had your hormones flare up and getting lots of advice and thinking about the consequences makes it REALLY hard to to think. Thanks for not closing this because without it I would still be going crazy)

Can't help but to say.. if he IS the father.. he should get a say in abortion. I understand the no pressuring part.. but I don't think one can say its her choice and hers alone. He too would be a part of the life-making and thus should get equal share in said abortion issue. It takes two.. so the decision should as well.

Good to hear back from you Ribs.

Question, during your weekend, how aware or concerned was she about the situation? Has she thought into it as far as you have, or talked about it with you? I am surprised both of you have the patients to "wait things out"... :confused:

I agree....but that's for a different thread.

Honestly, if she's pregnant, I doubt it's yours. Glad to hear you've stopped worrying, and she's probably NOT pregnant. But, if she IS, I would insist on a paternity test if she has the child.

Next time I would recomend going down on her instead of fingering her.

The clitoral stimulation will feel better than just ramming your finger up there, and you won't have any cum in your mouth unless you guys are getting realy kinky.

You spent the weekend with her?

Yes I went to visit her over valentines week

Don't only consider your's and her life when you consider an abortion there is a third person involved to.

With that said I had a GF who freaked out about this once myself. She ended up being 2-3 weeks late but it came. Don't freak out about it just relax the chances are very low. Also don't take abortion lightly it is a very big thing that should be considered. Think about how both of you may feel in the future.

How come you didn't have her take a test over Valentine's day weekend? It would seem a lot smarter. Are you trying to save the money of buying one when you find out her period came?

one thing hers boobs would not start getting sore 4 days after it happened, it would more like 2 weeks. and the main thing is THAT CANT HAPPEN FROM THAT.. so sorry but someone else is taking your place.

*gets on soap box again*

Man, I can't get over how uninformed some people are. Read some of the other posts in this forum on this same subject....I bet you think fish can't swim in the ocean because its too salty!!! If you believe that you can not get pregnant from what he is talking about, I can see a boat load of kids in your life. Not 1 or 2 but a whole boat load.

I can not get over how little sex education is actually being taught. Lets break it down one more time... If you get any kind of male sexual fluids anywhere near the females sexual organs (I'm talking contact of fluids) there is a chance she can get pregnant. I don't know if you have ever looked at a drop of seminal fluid under a microscope, but there are millions of the little buggers in there. It only takes one to find the egg, and presto, baby-o.

*gets off his soap box*

Now that being said...I doubt that she is pregnant from this. From the sounds of it she is having some serious PMS symptoms, not pregnancy symptoms.

When it comes to health money is never an issue. I took a grand with me out of my account just in case we decided to do some tests or anything.

I was thinking there is no reason for her to be stressing but 3 weeks ago and this week were the first time any of us did anything like this so that might be it. And today she told me she was sick. She always says she gets sick before her period and she told me I'm lucky to be a guy so it is that kind of sick. Now I just hope it really is her period comming and not some other pregnancy symptoms.

Anyways lets hope this all turns out well and I'll keep you guys updated.

A grand? Damn, what kind of tests were you planning on? Just to be clear on "tests:"

1) You can buy a pregnancy test at just about any drug store, grocery store, or probably even a gas station.

2) Most pregnancy tests are in the $10-$15 range.

3) These kinds of tests can only be given after a week or so has passed since your sexual encounter, as it takes that long for the hormones to build up and make a showing.

4) The tests are not complicated in any way: she opens the package, takes out a thing the shape of a digital thermometer, and holds it in her urine stream while she's peeing. Wait a few minutes and see if a little line appears (or not).

5) IF it's positive, THEN you can go to the doctor and have them check it to be absolutely sure. That might cost more, but definitely not a grand.

... no offense Ribs, but I think most of us are confused about why you didn't just shell out the $10 for a 5-minute pregnancy test from Target or something? It's really no big deal at all, and no one has to know about it except you two. No doctor appointment, no huge expenditure... just a decision that you really want to know.

Also, how long has it been since her period was supposed to start? Have you asked her directly if it has started, and told her why you are concerned? What I am most worried about in your situation is the lack of communication going on between you two. Even though she's probably not pregnant, she's missing out on this whole aspect of your freaking-out about it (which is important for her to know).

Look at it this way: the anonymous people reading and responding to this forum currently know you better than she does. Is that right?

It's entirely possible that she isn't pregnant at all. Women can have weird cycles. I've been pregnant, and know the symptoms, and there have been MANY times I thought I was pregnant just because my boobs hurt or I was tired all the time, and it turned out I wasn't.

And luck is definately on your side because you were engaging in very low risk activity when it comes to pregnancy.

I would really talk to her. Obviously you are both moving forward with a relationship that is sexual and this means you should talk about such things.... like what you both would do if a pregnancy did occur, etc. It's good to get these things out in the open before a pregnancy occurs.... so if she isn't pregnant, I say get on it and talk.

If she is pregnant, I realize it's a very scary situation, especially when parents are involved, but you have to remember this is her life, and your life... not her parents. She and you will have to talk and do what is best for you.

Good luck... but I bet this is all just a scare.

Me and my girlfriend have had a few scares... actually i've posted about all of them here on the tfp because I <3 you guys so much and it eases my mind. I'm glad you've chilled out a little on the whole thing - I'm a hateful person so I can probably guess what you edited out, and the thought ran through my mind the first time a scare happened, but then I just thought about how happy I was with this girl, and how much she meant to me, and I really didn't give a damn about my big plans in life or our families, I just wanted to be with her and have a happy life - whether it meant a baby or not. I don't really know what I'm trying to get through here; I guess it's the fact that we all have been through or will go through a scare like this at least one time, irregardless of how careful we are. You're not alone here, and I just hope everything turns out okay for you two. :thumbsup:

P.S. - After our scare my girlfriend and I cut out really everything sexual. And I've found that I just love her so much more now. She's now not only my girlfriend, but my best friend of all. *shrug* I used to think sex was everything - until I started doing it. :confused:

I would have to agree with abaya. Dude, you need to get better informed with the ways of life. First off, anyone who thinks a pregnancy test is going to cost a grand, needs to have to mature a little bit about the way the world works, considering EPT and other pregnancy tests have been on the OTC market for quite a while. As a matter of fact, you can get them at your local dollar store. Second, if you are going to freak out like you have displayed, let me burn one word and one word only into your brain...

Abstinence (please repeat over and over again)

I didnt think a pregnancy test would cost a grand. As a matter of fact I knew they cost 10 dollars. I just didn't know how much the doctor one costs and extra money is always good just in case.

And yes I never realized how much this could shake me so yes abstinence is probobly whats gonna happen

The ones the health professionals use are the same. It just checks for the pregnancy hormone.

Hmmm....

Try the home test.... if it is positive... then worry...

Well, you posted this on Saturday and you said:

So what happened? Did you at least talk to her?

Find anything new out yet?

The resolution:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=83827

I read a couple posts and completely agree with them, sore tits alone aren't a good enough indication of pregnancy, and an increased appetite doesn't occour until later on when you're pregnant. It aint no thang.

So what's the outcome of this?

- rmjb

Umm...look two replies above your own.
Maleficent posted a link to the outcome.

Either way, it was an entertaining story. ;-)

so why is this in the hall of fame exactly? *shrug*

hehe...read the first post again...

my girlfriend gets late periods all the time and i freak out just like you...its the sickest feeling i know. but chill out, there are ways out of this. and girls sometimes miss their periods, this isnt the end of the world. everythings gonna be okay dude. im really curious as to how this turns out though, since ive been scared of this many times. keep us posted ribs

Ow come on, is the girl pregnant or not??

Man, dig up a crusty old thread, why don't you? ;)

If she had been pregnant, the baby would be two years old right now.

nearly cried after reading that last post

...I miss Ribs...

Just want to add: been there, done that. Was scared shitless for two weeks until she finally had her period.

I hope shes pregnant

Well, I'm glad she wasn't pregnant. I wonder what ever happened to them..