MSD

This is why this thread is here now. It predates the HoF by a few years, but what's in it deserves a spot among the TFP greats.

Not everyone has a classic hilarious thread, or one that displays staggering stupidity, but we've all said some really funny things and some really dumb things. Just about everyone here has said something worthy of the Hall of Fame, and that's where it will end up.

One final warning before we get to the thread: don't look at post #139 unless you want to see man ass.




Tonight, I've seen a few quotes from fellow TFP'ers that I feel deserve recognition. These are the sort things you'd put on a calendar of TFP quotes. I'll put down a few, you can all throw your nominations out there. Maybe we'll actually get a page-a-day calendar of our own







There's a few to start off

qtpye4u84

I could not find any awesome ones.

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The QTpie

Cynthetiq

ummm the idea is that you try to find them to include in this thread...

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Fenton-J-Cool

Um.. it might just be.. you know, a vibe I'm getting, but judging by QT's speech patterns and posts, I'm beginning to doubt her age..
Plus her story keeps changing from boyfriend to husband, and now ex. Again, I'm just sayin' is all...

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wra

Averett

I'd like to second those thoughts

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Xiomar

quote:
Originally posted by Phaenx
When I turn 85 I'm going to have my grandchildren hire a team of assassins to fight me to the death.

With swords.

quote:
Originally posted by Phaenx
I've just decided that I want the assassins to be ninjas as well.


My favorites... Heheee.

BigGov

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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink but then held it out over the beer and yelled "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!"

Speed_Gibson

remembered that story just from that one line, quite a amusing tale.

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Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder

BigGov

Same here Gibson, it is honestly one of the few times I've actually laughed out loud while reading something on the internet.

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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink but then held it out over the beer and yelled "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!"

World's King

When the hell did a say that?

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Hanxter

MSD

rat

the clavus quote was immortalized in my signature for a solid amount of time. Honestly the funniest true story I've read on the 'net.

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KWSN

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Your arms are broken!

yournamehere

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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

CinnamonGirl

Boy, do I know that feeling

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

SVT01Cobra

MSD

followed by:

gremlinx8

...getting punched in the junk by a three-year-old child.

Explaining to Junior that “we need to be gentle with Daddy” from a fetal position on the kitchen floor was not one of my better moments in parenting.

From clavus' vasectomy story.

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Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. -Lennon

KWSN

From the thread where The_Dude asked whether there was a such thing as horizontal pussy...


EDIT: and a couple from the great Giant Hamburger

(in reference to me):

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Your arms are broken!

Poloboy

TOK always has the best quotes. My favourite:

World's King

Yeah. I quoted myself.

I touch myself all the time. Just a natural progression.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Bill O'Rights

Fuck me!!! I forgot all about phredgreen's response to The_Dude's "horizontal pussy" thread. Oh...my fucking god...I never laughed so damn hard in my freakin' life. And now, I get to experience it all over again...as if anew.

Seriously...I'm laughing so hard right now, I've got literal tears rolling down my cheeks, my side hurts, and the little 18 year old HPOA of an assistant of mine, is beginning to fear for my sanity.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

QuasiMojo

I think
EVERYTHING giant hamburger has ever said.

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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

MSD

This may be the funniest thing ever said on the internet, or it may be teh sleep-deprivation talking

KWSN

definitely sleep deprivation

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Your arms are broken!

Hanxter

in the last TFP version marco polo - i think - posted a chat he had with some guy representing Bloussant boobie growing cream - it was on-going and the funniest damned thing i've ever seen posted on these boards...

bloussant is a boob growing cream - and they had a "have any questions" chat line set up

he got in and asked this guy if it worked on guys and passed it off that the guy he was chatting with was in the closet

anyway - it went on for weeks and marco kept posting the logs from the chat in a thread

gets better...

the guy he was chatting with wouldn't talk to him any more so he went in as a different guy looking for marco and asked when he last chatted with him cuz they had a date

then asked him if he'd like to join in

knock down piss yourself hilarious

went down with the crash of 2003 - wish it was still here!!!

telekinetic

I nominate Averett, in her viscious defense of the "Not getting any" thread with

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twisted no more

Pragma

Haha, I was going to post that here - beaten to the punch. And I'm still running from the spork

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Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

sillygirl

This... this just had to be added....

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Averett

I'm right behind you

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Rubyee

Damnit.

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You don't know from fun.

mystmarimatt

Oh my God, i just starting rolling on the floor laughing after reading that, and my roommate looked at me like i was crazy. Greatest thing i've ever read.

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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

Fremen

air45 is the best quoteable member we have, imho.

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Google

Pragma

Despite my involvement in the creation of this quote, I still laugh every time I see it:

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Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

ariekitten

i jumped in at the tail end of a tfp chat discussion. heres what i got:

Phaenx: I rubbed it raw with a soapy washcloth and now it hurts.

ngdawg: don't do that
Phaenx: I got excited.

ngdawg: rubbing your nose makes you excited?? you're an easy date

wrkime: you should see what happens when he gets really excited

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I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call.
~Vash, Trigun

>'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

crow_daw

Yes, I fully realize that this is shameless plugging, but you all should check out my very own thread in Tilted Nonsense:Bullshit Thread


I created that thread forever ago, but I must say that after reviewing it, it is really really funny stuff, and some VERY good quotes on there.

You shant regret this.

At least I hope not.

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"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

MSD

onetime2

Hey I made the list. YAY!

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

MSD