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-   -   Some of our members' more memorable quotes. (NSFW) (https://thetfp.com/tfp/hall-fame/52260-some-our-members-more-memorable-quotes-nsfw.html)

MSD 04-12-2004 09:58 PM

Some of our members' more memorable quotes. (NSFW)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lotsofmagnets (Post 2506817)
that was the best 2 hrs i think i´ve ever wasted. how is this thread not in the hall of fame? i think this thread is the hall of fame......

This is why this thread is here now. It predates the HoF by a few years, but what's in it deserves a spot among the TFP greats.

Not everyone has a classic hilarious thread, or one that displays staggering stupidity, but we've all said some really funny things and some really dumb things. Just about everyone here has said something worthy of the Hall of Fame, and that's where it will end up.

One final warning before we get to the thread: don't look at post #139 unless you want to see man ass.




Tonight, I've seen a few quotes from fellow TFP'ers that I feel deserve recognition. These are the sort things you'd put on a calendar of TFP quotes. I'll put down a few, you can all throw your nominations out there. Maybe we'll actually get a page-a-day calendar of our own :)

Quote:

Originally posted by Strange Famous
I used to have a baseball bat but it got messed up cos me and some friends used to play baseball with tins of canned ham.

Quote:

Originally posted by Phaenx
When I turn 85 I'm going to have my grandchildren hire a team of assassins to fight me to the death.

With swords.

Quote:

Originally posted by Phaenx
I've just decided that I want the assassins to be ninjas as well.

Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
I am just small enough that when I took off my towel, I was able to squeeze through the pet door into my garage. Once inside, I went to work on the (locked) door between my garage and pants.

To say that I was naked, when I broke in would be a lie. I put on safety glasses.


Quote:

Originally posted by The Original King
Stand up against the over-bearing pre-school teachers.

Fight for the right to eat glue.


Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
Steve sent me a very convincing email about how he lost a testicle. I believed him. I was nice to him. I tried to make him feel better. I felt terrible for him.

Steve was a big fat liar. All the time I was being nice, he was laughing his ass off at me.

I eventually learned the truth. So...I took that lying email, and incorporated it into my own little peice of revenge.

Check it out.

http://www.stevehasonenut.com


Quote:

Originally posted by Macheath
damn, the kidneys must find the whole experience baffling. "..what the hell is he doing up there?.."

There's a few to start off

qtpye4u84 04-12-2004 10:07 PM

I could not find any awesome ones.

Cynthetiq 04-12-2004 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by qtpye4u84
THose are cool and funny. You should find more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote:

Originally posted by qtpye4u84
I went with a boy firend to go eat pizza, with some ppl from tfp that he was going to meet. We had fun so I decided to get on here, he is now my ex but hes cool.
ummm the idea is that you try to find them to include in this thread...

Fenton-J-Cool 04-15-2004 07:00 PM

Um.. it might just be.. you know, a vibe I'm getting, but judging by QT's speech patterns and posts, I'm beginning to doubt her age..
Plus her story keeps changing from boyfriend to husband, and now ex. Again, I'm just sayin' is all...

Averett 04-15-2004 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fenton-J-Cool
Um.. it might just be.. you know, a vibe I'm getting, but judging by QT's speech patterns and posts, I'm beginning to doubt her age..
Plus her story keeps changing from boyfriend to husband, and now ex. Again, I'm just sayin' is all...

I'd like to second those thoughts :hmm:

Xiomar 04-15-2004 07:16 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Phaenx
When I turn 85 I'm going to have my grandchildren hire a team of assassins to fight me to the death.

With swords.

quote:
Originally posted by Phaenx
I've just decided that I want the assassins to be ninjas as well.


My favorites... Heheee.

BigGov 04-15-2004 08:22 PM

Click hear to read the full story behind the quote "To say that I was naked, when I broke in would be a lie. I put on safety glasses." One of the funniest stories you will ever read on the internet.

Speed_Gibson 04-15-2004 08:24 PM

remembered that story just from that one line, quite a amusing tale.

BigGov 04-15-2004 08:27 PM

Same here Gibson, it is honestly one of the few times I've actually laughed out loud while reading something on the internet.

World's King 04-16-2004 12:51 AM

When the hell did a say that?

Hanxter 04-16-2004 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original King
When the hell did a say that?

MSD 04-16-2004 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by iamnormal
He mite as well get use to the idea of some thing being inserted into his anus. When you get older they don't check for colon cancer by looking in your mouth.
Quote:

Originally posted by Astrocloud
I think I would only let them use it if they were brand new. No used anal beads.

rat 04-16-2004 08:58 AM

the clavus quote was immortalized in my signature for a solid amount of time. Honestly the funniest true story I've read on the 'net.

KWSN 04-16-2004 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jadey
You SHOULD be embarassed about seeing Sister Hazel twice. But I've only seen them ONCE so I'm okay.
Quote:

Originally posted by Fremen
Dude, I'm always masturbating.

yournamehere 04-16-2004 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim Kata
My friend's step dad had a movie called "Chicken Lover".....I guess that is self explanatory. A whole bunch of people would stop by his house just to watch it. I mean people he didn't even know would show up and be like "Are you the guy with the chicken movie?"

CinnamonGirl 04-18-2004 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinklily
But now I am starting to think that I am a Honda...and I used to think that I was a Porche...
Boy, do I know that feeling :p

SVT01Cobra 04-18-2004 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fhqhgads
I had a threesome once...with twins. Not sure it counts though, because they were conjoined twins. Sure, Stacy was into it, but Lacey just stood there, asking us to keep it down. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated her being there too, but she didn't have to bring a book...
:lol:

MSD 04-19-2004 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jephree
Just wondering how to get rid of that unattractive "ROOKIE" status/symbol below my ID. How many posts?..., or..?....

________________________________

"Would appreciate any help, thanks."

followed by:
Quote:

Originally posted by Mr.Deflok
You've still got a lot of cock to suck before you get to the big league buddy.

gremlinx8 04-20-2004 06:02 AM

...getting punched in the junk by a three-year-old child.

Explaining to Junior that “we need to be gentle with Daddy” from a fetal position on the kitchen floor was not one of my better moments in parenting.

From clavus' vasectomy story.

KWSN 04-21-2004 03:34 PM

From the thread where The_Dude asked whether there was a such thing as horizontal pussy...

Quote:

Originally posted by phredgreen
but just imagine the sound she would make going down a slide naked:

thbthbthbthbthbthbbbbt

i know you are already imagining it in your head...


EDIT: and a couple from the great Giant Hamburger

(in reference to me):

Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
The person above me is over 1,000 years old and lives in a glass egg filled with blue nutritive fluid.
Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
Hail KWSN!

Every man has his price. I could write a number on a piece of paper and slide it across the desk for your eyes only. If that number was large enough, I do believe my feet would be licked with zeal. I will consider it.


Poloboy 04-21-2004 09:47 PM

TOK always has the best quotes. My favourite:

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original King
Quote:

Originally posted by The Original King
If I wanted that feeling you get from anal beads I would take a huge shit.
I said this while drunk. Now that I read it sober... it has nothing to do with anything.

World's King 04-22-2004 12:08 PM

Yeah. I quoted myself.

I touch myself all the time. Just a natural progression.

Bill O'Rights 04-22-2004 12:53 PM

Fuck me!!! I forgot all about phredgreen's response to The_Dude's "horizontal pussy" thread. Oh...my fucking god...I never laughed so damn hard in my freakin' life. And now, I get to experience it all over again...as if anew.

Seriously...I'm laughing so hard right now, I've got literal tears rolling down my cheeks, my side hurts, and the little 18 year old HPOA of an assistant of mine, is beginning to fear for my sanity.

QuasiMojo 04-23-2004 05:02 PM

I think
EVERYTHING giant hamburger has ever said.

MSD 04-26-2004 08:11 PM

This may be the funniest thing ever said on the internet, or it may be teh sleep-deprivation talking

Quote:

Originally posted by KWSN
DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!

We have a winner!!!!!

Your prize:

http://www.wrve.com/airstaff/morning...t/eggplant.jpg

AN EGGPLANT SHAPED LIKE SPIRO AGNEW!!!!!


KWSN 04-28-2004 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
This may be the funniest thing ever said on the internet, or it may be teh sleep-deprivation talking
definitely sleep deprivation ;)

Hanxter 04-29-2004 08:22 AM

in the last TFP version marco polo - i think - posted a chat he had with some guy representing Bloussant boobie growing cream - it was on-going and the funniest damned thing i've ever seen posted on these boards...

bloussant is a boob growing cream - and they had a "have any questions" chat line set up

he got in and asked this guy if it worked on guys and passed it off that the guy he was chatting with was in the closet

anyway - it went on for weeks and marco kept posting the logs from the chat in a thread

gets better...

the guy he was chatting with wouldn't talk to him any more so he went in as a different guy looking for marco and asked when he last chatted with him cuz they had a date

then asked him if he'd like to join in

knock down piss yourself hilarious

went down with the crash of 2003 - wish it was still here!!! :D

telekinetic 04-29-2004 02:46 PM

I nominate Averett, in her viscious defense of the "Not getting any" thread with

Quote:

Get back here! I have to spork you!

Pragma 04-29-2004 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by twistedmosaic
I nominate Averett, in her viscious defense of the "Not getting any" thread with
Haha, I was going to post that here - beaten to the punch. And I'm still running from the spork :D

sillygirl 04-29-2004 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rubyee
Yes, and I hate it- nothing tickles more than pulling hair out of your butt.

Hope that doesn't end up as some quote I get known for.

This... this just had to be added.... :lol:

Averett 04-29-2004 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pragma
Haha, I was going to post that here - beaten to the punch. And I'm still running from the spork :D
I'm right behind you :p

Rubyee 05-12-2004 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sillygirl
This... this just had to be added.... :lol:
Damnit.

mystmarimatt 05-13-2004 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by gremlinx8
...getting punched in the junk by a three-year-old child.

Explaining to Junior that “we need to be gentle with Daddy” from a fetal position on the kitchen floor was not one of my better moments in parenting.

From clavus' vasectomy story.

Oh my God, i just starting rolling on the floor laughing after reading that, and my roommate looked at me like i was crazy. Greatest thing i've ever read.

Fremen 05-19-2004 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by air45
you never understand that air45 is not bones! this was never the true.
air45 is the best quoteable member we have, imho. :)

Pragma 05-19-2004 05:36 PM

Despite my involvement in the creation of this quote, I still laugh every time I see it:

Quote:

Originally posted by WarWagon
Heh, I never thought I'd hear someone refer to "cheese grater strapped to your crotch", as "well put."

ariekitten 05-19-2004 07:10 PM

i jumped in at the tail end of a tfp chat discussion. heres what i got:

Phaenx: I rubbed it raw with a soapy washcloth and now it hurts.

ngdawg: don't do that
Phaenx: I got excited.

ngdawg: rubbing your nose makes you excited?? you're an easy date

wrkime: you should see what happens when he gets really excited

crow_daw 05-19-2004 07:46 PM

Yes, I fully realize that this is shameless plugging, but you all should check out my very own thread in Tilted Nonsense:Bullshit Thread


I created that thread forever ago, but I must say that after reviewing it, it is really really funny stuff, and some VERY good quotes on there.

You shant regret this.

At least I hope not.

MSD 05-25-2004 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by onetime2
That cinches it. Since I have not heard that Ralph Nader fell off a bike I have to vote for him. No bike accident = genius. Yep that's the way to go.

onetime2 05-26-2004 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
Hey I made the list. YAY!:D

MSD 06-01-2004 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by yakimushi
My girlfriend poked me in the eye with her nipple once. Hurt like hell and killed the mood completely.


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