Originally Posted by 3leggedfrog I was wondering how many tfpers do rub one off or double click the mouse at work?

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights Quote: Originally Posted by Painted Yeah but I was delivering pizza in my own car. Hmmmm...mental note...don't order pizza delivery for awhile. Quite...awhile.

Originally Posted by Ilow

....Why don't you beat your meat like it owes you money...

Originally Posted by Push-Pull

From Crompsin (sp?) signature.....



Sorry, but I think it hilarious. ROFLMAO

Originally Posted by phoenix1002

My real name is Jacob. but since about 8th or 9th grade. I've gone by Jake. Funny story about that... the job I had over winter break had my name down as Jacob. I worked there again over spring break. and signed in as Jake. It really confused them. they thought it was two different people. The unfunny part was they didn't send me my paycheck for about a month...

Originally Posted by BigGov

Originally Posted by skier

argh i can't remember which comic this is from. It was a really great bit too

Originally Posted by analog

I would think the term "homocide" would be pejorative, because it would likely suggest the killing of homosexuals. I think you mean homicide- and no, I don't agree.

Originally Posted by abaya

...You won't know if you're impotent until you actually try to have sex, though.

Originally Posted by Jetstream

Oh, no... I laughed out loud so hard at this! You wouldn't believe it, but I think I heard an echo.

It has been 10 minutes after reading this and I still can't stop...

Originally Posted by maleficent

from the same ladies lounge thread...

the lovely, and gifted comic Fredweena tells us the moral of the story:

Originally Posted by Plan9

Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.

Originally Posted by hagatha

Bad spellers are always the brunt the jokes here.

Originally Posted by analog

I don't generally make a point of shedding light on spelling mistakes, except when someone is trying to argue terminology with me and telling me I'm wrong, and can't spell the words they're arguing with me about.

Otherwise, pointing out a spelling mistake just for a laugh would be kind of a dick move.

Originally Posted by Crompsin

UsTwo... I just ejaculated Sam Adams from my nose.

Fuck you.

Originally Posted by uncle phil

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Originally Posted by Ch'i

OMG, did you see their hats?!

992 WW Cap | Wicked Weasel Bikinis

Originally Posted by Willravel

Whoa, Ch'i, NSFW.

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM

I'm not a Catholic basher or anything, but I've been to Rome and there are hundreds of churches there and there are so many paintings depicting naked children, with genitals and everything, the Seraphim and Cherubim, the highest angels are depicted as naked children.

child abuse is just a political tool now for oppression. Instead of accusing their enemies of being 'enemies of the state' the commies accuse their enemies of child abuse. While it's true, the network of satanic homos who now control much of the machinations of the Beasts government are serial killing pedophiles, they also know how to play the shame game, they accuse others constantly of what they themselves are doing.

100,000 children have been disappearing every year for several decades now, they are never found. a million calls are placed a year, 90% of them are found, with the other parent and what not, but 10% of them are never found, never heard from again. The FBI is running around investigated 'hate crimes' and other such non-sense, but not these missing children, because, they are told not to investigate.

The catholic church held enormous stupid power and stupid people who hold power for stupid reasons often abuse that power to the ultimate extent, i.e having sex with everyone's children.







Probably all pornography is wrong, whether it's adults or children, what's the difference, adult pornography is worse, because children don't really know any better. To a child it's just like breast feeding or eating their baby food, kind of icky maybe, maybe feels sorta pleasant, but the degenerative effect on the will is worse in children, maybe? or are the effects on adults just as bad?

Why do people care so much about children, but after they turn 18 they want to torture and kill them for their non-conformist sexuality? It's because they are psychotic, dangerous people who shouldn't be allowed near people, let alone children.

Homosexual pedophilia is the most devastating of course, and I believe comes from this mysterious evil force that is absolutely real and present all around us, especially now that Satan controls the mass media. Satan is probably an alien life form that has an insect like consciousness, views humans are pretty much nothing but it's prey, human emotions are just to be manipulated and use to enslave them, murder, rape them, etc.

People see sexual predation of children as preying on helpless, smaller, weaker people, well, womanizers are doing the same thing, let's be honest, fornication should be illegal as well.

I mean, are you saying adults who engage in 'consensual' sex aren't preying on eachother most of the time? A stronger one preying on a weaker one? One with more money, preying on someone who doesn't have money, as in the case of prostitution? It's the same ugly thing in adult sexuality as in children, it's the same ugly thing in human nature, which is the universal nature of the world and all living things, thus, if there is a God, he is satanic and evil and a Omnipotent Monster and we should all commit mass suicide to end his sick control over higher beings whom he enjoys torturing.

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM

oh i'm sorry, did I hurt the homosexual pedophile's feelings?

now THAT'S was sarcasm.

the internet has been so disheartening, there are so many, possessed by Satan now, I think more than are not, but especially the isolated people, whom satan bores into, and destroys their sexuality and perverts it and turns it into a hideous thing.
Everyword that comes out of their mouths is the devil himself, speaking to your face through them.

Satan is far more powerful than I ever understood, it is something truly beyond comprehension, I admit it's something so vast and horrible I cannot comprehend it, it's from another galaxy or solar system.

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM

I'm not a Catholic basher or anything, but I've been to Rome and there are hundreds of churches there and there are so many paintings depicting naked children, with genitals and everything, the Seraphim and Cherubim, the highest angels are depicted as naked children.

child abuse is just a political tool now for oppression. Instead of accusing their enemies of being 'enemies of the state' the commies accuse their enemies of child abuse. While it's true, the network of satanic homos who now control much of the machinations of the Beasts government are serial killing pedophiles, they also know how to play the shame game, they accuse others constantly of what they themselves are doing.

100,000 children have been disappearing every year for several decades now, they are never found. a million calls are placed a year, 90% of them are found, with the other parent and what not, but 10% of them are never found, never heard from again. The FBI is running around investigated 'hate crimes' and other such non-sense, but not these missing children, because, they are told not to investigate.

The catholic church held enormous stupid power and stupid people who hold power for stupid reasons often abuse that power to the ultimate extent, i.e having sex with everyone's children.







Probably all pornography is wrong, whether it's adults or children, what's the difference, adult pornography is worse, because children don't really know any better. To a child it's just like breast feeding or eating their baby food, kind of icky maybe, maybe feels sorta pleasant, but the degenerative effect on the will is worse in children, maybe? or are the effects on adults just as bad?

Why do people care so much about children, but after they turn 18 they want to torture and kill them for their non-conformist sexuality? It's because they are psychotic, dangerous people who shouldn't be allowed near people, let alone children.

Homosexual pedophilia is the most devastating of course, and I believe comes from this mysterious evil force that is absolutely real and present all around us, especially now that Satan controls the mass media. Satan is probably an alien life form that has an insect like consciousness, views humans are pretty much nothing but it's prey, human emotions are just to be manipulated and use to enslave them, murder, rape them, etc.

People see sexual predation of children as preying on helpless, smaller, weaker people, well, womanizers are doing the same thing, let's be honest, fornication should be illegal as well.

I mean, are you saying adults who engage in 'consensual' sex aren't preying on eachother most of the time? A stronger one preying on a weaker one? One with more money, preying on someone who doesn't have money, as in the case of prostitution? It's the same ugly thing in adult sexuality as in children, it's the same ugly thing in human nature, which is the universal nature of the world and all living things, thus, if there is a God, he is satanic and evil and a Omnipotent Monster and we should all commit mass suicide to end his sick control over higher beings whom he enjoys torturing.

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM

the bible says, 'it is not against bone and flesh that we battle, but against principalities and powers', however, the CAtholic translation is the word 'celestials', celestials, principalities and powers, are ALIENS, celestial means 'from the heavens' or 'from the stars'.



the penis is merely the physical object, it's the spiritual power it represents, which is infinite, the phallic symbols you see on every TV show, the news anchors always standing in front of the Washington Monument or some such thing, the triangle, the pyramid on the back of the dollar, represents this concept. Sexual decadence drains the soul and allows satan to enter you and possess you, control your mind, so that you cannot even concieve of a plot against their government without them knowing, you've lost the territory of your own mind. you have become nothing but a thing animated by the spiritual force of Satan, and THAT is the ultimate goal of Satan, and it IS much worse than biological or nuclear weapons. because you are not dead. You are the living dead, still alive, being used by this psychotic homosexual supernatural killer, it's like Satan duct taping you up and putting computer chips in your brain and turning you into a robot, a slave, a thing for their amusement and usefulness. You have become Satan's appliance, with just enough thought left in you, to carry out the mundane tasks of your existence, but nothing more. No concern for spiritual insights or the jurisprudence of fair and righteous self government, only enough of a mind left to see 2 feet in front of you like a mule with blinders.

Obviously though, most of the people, even posting here, won't be able to understand, Satan will confuse them and prevent them from understanding it, he will punish them for their bad thoughts in a million creative ways, subtle subliminal controls too vast for what's left of their putrified minds, rotted with sin and fermented into a demonic elixor of decadence.

As revelation states, 'they shall be drunk with the wine of fornication', the wine of the Great Harlot, Diana, the statue of which sits atop the Capitol Building in Washington, DC.

Texe Marr was an Air Force Colonel, who taught bomber pilots strategy for nuclear war, he's the one I learned that about Diana from.

YouTube - 1. Mystery Babylon - Texe Marrs NWO

when i sense someone is willing to learn something, or give it intelligent consideration I don't mind elaborating.

Posession is simply dominant telepathy. The control a person telepathicly via the pineal gland, or the third eye, which is what the eye on the pyramid represents, the eye which is the symbol you see everywhere now, the CBS eye, etc. The Pineal gland is made of the same type of photoreceptive cells as are in the optic nerve and the retina, they can be stimilated by electromagnetic radiation, of a different frequency than light, they can interpret brain waves the way way your eye and brain interpret light waves. Telepathy is simply a natural, reality you all are never told about because they don't want you to know anything spiritual or true about your supernatural existance.
What people call 'love' or being in 'love' with their wife, they mean, they are in a pleasant state of telepathic union. telepathy isn't always about love. It is also about dominance and subversion of the will, the conquest of the soul, so to speak. One possesses another through sexual conquest, or 'sticking their penis in you' as you so eloquently and casually said.
As the Gospell (god's spelll) says, 'thou becomes one flesh', it warns against becoming one flesh with those possessed of the devil. the crazed sexual urges of demonicly possessed people, is simply the devil trying to spread itself like some kind of psychic virus, it's consciousness is trying to spread itself via sexual contact.

the Movie 'Fallen' is a good illustration of this, but uses the euphemism of touching people to possess them. the touching is a euphemism for sexual intercourse.

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

I wonder how many nights in a row I'll have to cook dinner to score some anal.

Originally Posted by MSD

I'd be afraid that if I put a price on sex, inflation would not have the desired effect on my penis.

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

Tits. I love watching tits bounce up and down. There's really no other way to put it.
...

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Do TFP moderators get perks?

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

We get to create threads called "I hate LoganSnake" to make our complaints about you known. No one else, just you. It's part of the new "I Hate LoganSnake Mod Rules we adopted about 2 years ago." Seems to be working out pretty well, don't you think?

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

And on the topic of hating me, I'm surprised you took note of me two whole years ago. I didn't think I was too much of a pain in the ass until recently.

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

LoganSnake, let me assure you that I've hated you since the day before you signed up for TFP. Even though I didn't know you then, I had that premonition. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at showing it, so I've been stuck on stealing the occassional sock from your dryer and leaving wads of gum on the sidewalk for you to step on. And even more unfortunately, I'm now accused of being a pervert because I have a collection of damp, unmatched socks and a sore jaw. Perhaps if I wore pants more often....

Originally Posted by Frosstbyte

Is this kind of like how women have to cover themselves up so men don't go crazy and try to fuck everything in sight? Do all the pious Muslims have so little self control that merely seeing a non-Muslim eating or drinking would cause them to fly into a feeding frenzy?

Originally Posted by TullyMars

The food there sucked, but it turns out so did the dancers for an extra $30. I stuck with the crappy food.

Originally Posted by Sultana

I live this:That's hilarious! And true.

Originally Posted by vanblah

Last time a cop was at my house was for a birthday party for my seven-year-old daughter. It got pretty out-of-hand. We made the mistake of getting a couple of My Little Pony Kegs.

Originally Posted by Plan9

Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.

Originally Posted by reverendjay

Love, much like juggling chainsaws on a tightrope, requires balance. (and could result in bodily harm unto death if done wrong)

Originally Posted by clavus

Every time I kiss my grandma.

Oh, Jesus. Did I just say that?

Originally Posted by Willravel

I'm cool being in here, though my quotes were on AIM. Is it sad to laugh at your own funnies?

Originally Posted by MSD

Friends frequently pull out great catchphrases, then inform me -- much to my surprise -- that I was the one who said it in the first place. Nothing wrong with it, although it might be less vain to enjoy it if you're not expecting to see someone else saying it was funny.

Originally Posted by MSD

Do people know what Google is, or is it a private service that only a few of us get?

The code is 78561