Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Hall of Fame (https://thetfp.com/tfp/hall-fame/)
-   -   Some of our members' more memorable quotes. (NSFW) (https://thetfp.com/tfp/hall-fame/52260-some-our-members-more-memorable-quotes-nsfw.html)

maleficent 02-01-2006 05:36 AM

Goodness - first time i've ever been quoted :)

maleficent 02-01-2006 05:57 AM

from the same ladies lounge thread...

the lovely, and gifted comic Fredweena tells us the moral of the story:
Quote:

The accent may be sexy as hell, but annoying, cocky, Italian midgets just don't do it for me.

Ishmal 06-17-2007 01:21 PM

*bump*
 
I think this thread needs to be bumped back to the surface for some fresh quotes...

This thread always was a favourite of mine.

:thumbsup:

Jetée 06-17-2007 01:45 PM

Funny, I have never seen this thread, but I am glad that it has been revived for another coming of spot the quote that made you burst into laughter... :D



the following excerpts are from the "Have you ever masturbated at work?" thread:

Quote:

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3leggedfrog
I was wondering how many tfpers do rub one off or double click the mouse at work?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
Quote:

Originally Posted by Painted
Yeah but I was delivering pizza in my own car.

Hmmmm...mental note...don't order pizza delivery for awhile. :paranoid:

Quite...awhile.:oogle:



Push-Pull 06-17-2007 03:04 PM

From Crompsin (sp?) signature.....

Quote:

The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.
Sorry, but I think it hilarious. ROFLMAO

hagatha 06-20-2007 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilow
....Why don't you beat your meat like it owes you money...

I read this one the other day and couldn't stop laughing.

skier 06-20-2007 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Push-Pull
From Crompsin (sp?) signature.....



Sorry, but I think it hilarious. ROFLMAO

argh i can't remember which comic this is from. It was a really great bit too

Carno 06-20-2007 09:17 AM

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.” - George Carlin

Jetée 06-23-2007 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix1002
My real name is Jacob. but since about 8th or 9th grade. I've gone by Jake. Funny story about that... the job I had over winter break had my name down as Jacob. I worked there again over spring break. and signed in as Jake. It really confused them. they thought it was two different people. The unfunny part was they didn't send me my paycheck for about a month...:(

I found myself chuckling at this...

bender 07-10-2007 04:52 PM

Best Ever.

MSD 07-12-2007 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skier
argh i can't remember which comic this is from. It was a really great bit too

George Carlin.

Jetée 07-19-2007 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by analog
I would think the term "homocide" would be pejorative, because it would likely suggest the killing of homosexuals. I think you mean homicide- and no, I don't agree.

Oh, no... I laughed out loud so hard at this! You wouldn't believe it, but I think I heard an echo. :lol:

It has been 10 minutes after reading this and I still can't stop... :lol:

Sultana 07-20-2007 07:38 AM

I live this:
Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
...You won't know if you're impotent until you actually try to have sex, though.

That's hilarious! :lol: And true.

hagatha 07-20-2007 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetstream
Oh, no... I laughed out loud so hard at this! You wouldn't believe it, but I think I heard an echo. :lol:

It has been 10 minutes after reading this and I still can't stop... :lol:


Bad spellers are always the brunt the jokes here.

noodle 07-20-2007 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent
from the same ladies lounge thread...

the lovely, and gifted comic Fredweena tells us the moral of the story:
Quote:

The accent may be sexy as hell, but annoying, cocky, Italian midgets just don't do it for me.

Oh hell, I forgot about that one. I needed a laugh today and Mal did it.

analog 07-21-2007 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hagatha
Bad spellers are always the brunt the jokes here.

I don't generally make a point of shedding light on spelling mistakes, except when someone is trying to argue terminology with me and telling me I'm wrong, and can't spell the words they're arguing with me about.

Otherwise, pointing out a spelling mistake just for a laugh would be kind of a dick move.

hagatha 07-21-2007 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by analog
I don't generally make a point of shedding light on spelling mistakes, except when someone is trying to argue terminology with me and telling me I'm wrong, and can't spell the words they're arguing with me about.

Otherwise, pointing out a spelling mistake just for a laugh would be kind of a dick move.


Maybe it was just a typo, a classier move would've been to just leave it at that.
And it wasn't terminology we were arguing it was trends in behavior--shall I make a joke about that?

analog 07-21-2007 06:32 PM

I'm not here to threadjack, so I'll PM and be on my way. :)

analog 11-03-2007 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin
UsTwo... I just ejaculated Sam Adams from my nose.

Fuck you.

In response to ustwo posting a picture about kids sniffing markers and huffing paint, because someone made what he considered to be a less than wonderful post (and I think most agreed with him). :)

zed wolf 11-04-2007 09:12 AM

For my favourite quote, see my sig!

Martian 11-18-2007 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

In the analogy thread. It just struck me as funny.

Re: the thread jack, I've always figured that if someone doesn't proof read or use a spell-checker, typos are fair game. Taking time to make sure your posts are legible is just showing respect to those who read them.

Plan9 11-18-2007 08:37 AM

Quote:

Crompsin: It's like when I get drunk and start doing quotes from Se7en. "Awwwh, what's in the box!?"

Willravel: You do that too?! That's one of my catch phrases, like on Christmas. I start crying and shoot my dad. And Morgan Freeman can't stop me!
Quote:

(while seriously talking about body armor)

Will: It's synthetic fibers, right?
Cromp: Yes.
Will: How pliable is it?
Cromp: Pretty flexible, actually, like... uh... (thinking)
Will: Vaginal walls?

Jetée 08-07-2008 04:11 AM

Risque Clothing - a la Wicked Weasel
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ch'i (Post 2297340)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel (Post 2297343)
Whoa, Ch'i, NSFW.


lotsofmagnets 08-14-2008 03:07 AM

that was the best 2 hrs i think i´ve ever wasted. how is this thread not in the hall of fame? i think this thread is the hall of fame......

MSD 08-15-2008 08:39 AM

Hey, this thread is back. I'm proud of my creation.

edit: here's some from the "Is child pornography wrong?" thread in philosophy that rolled the discussion from debate to WTF. Satan is an evil alien that controls our minds because ... well, I'll let you read for yourself.
Quote:

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM (Post 2443846)
I'm not a Catholic basher or anything, but I've been to Rome and there are hundreds of churches there and there are so many paintings depicting naked children, with genitals and everything, the Seraphim and Cherubim, the highest angels are depicted as naked children.

child abuse is just a political tool now for oppression. Instead of accusing their enemies of being 'enemies of the state' the commies accuse their enemies of child abuse. While it's true, the network of satanic homos who now control much of the machinations of the Beasts government are serial killing pedophiles, they also know how to play the shame game, they accuse others constantly of what they themselves are doing.

100,000 children have been disappearing every year for several decades now, they are never found. a million calls are placed a year, 90% of them are found, with the other parent and what not, but 10% of them are never found, never heard from again. The FBI is running around investigated 'hate crimes' and other such non-sense, but not these missing children, because, they are told not to investigate.

The catholic church held enormous stupid power and stupid people who hold power for stupid reasons often abuse that power to the ultimate extent, i.e having sex with everyone's children.

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/2...dcherubmw0.jpg

http://www.kofc.duq.edu/cherubim.gif

http://www.fragmentsfromfloyd.com/images4/cherubim.jpg

Probably all pornography is wrong, whether it's adults or children, what's the difference, adult pornography is worse, because children don't really know any better. To a child it's just like breast feeding or eating their baby food, kind of icky maybe, maybe feels sorta pleasant, but the degenerative effect on the will is worse in children, maybe? or are the effects on adults just as bad?

Why do people care so much about children, but after they turn 18 they want to torture and kill them for their non-conformist sexuality? It's because they are psychotic, dangerous people who shouldn't be allowed near people, let alone children.

Homosexual pedophilia is the most devastating of course, and I believe comes from this mysterious evil force that is absolutely real and present all around us, especially now that Satan controls the mass media. Satan is probably an alien life form that has an insect like consciousness, views humans are pretty much nothing but it's prey, human emotions are just to be manipulated and use to enslave them, murder, rape them, etc.

People see sexual predation of children as preying on helpless, smaller, weaker people, well, womanizers are doing the same thing, let's be honest, fornication should be illegal as well.

I mean, are you saying adults who engage in 'consensual' sex aren't preying on eachother most of the time? A stronger one preying on a weaker one? One with more money, preying on someone who doesn't have money, as in the case of prostitution? It's the same ugly thing in adult sexuality as in children, it's the same ugly thing in human nature, which is the universal nature of the world and all living things, thus, if there is a God, he is satanic and evil and a Omnipotent Monster and we should all commit mass suicide to end his sick control over higher beings whom he enjoys torturing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM (Post 2444043)
oh i'm sorry, did I hurt the homosexual pedophile's feelings?

now THAT'S was sarcasm.

the internet has been so disheartening, there are so many, possessed by Satan now, I think more than are not, but especially the isolated people, whom satan bores into, and destroys their sexuality and perverts it and turns it into a hideous thing.
Everyword that comes out of their mouths is the devil himself, speaking to your face through them.

Satan is far more powerful than I ever understood, it is something truly beyond comprehension, I admit it's something so vast and horrible I cannot comprehend it, it's from another galaxy or solar system.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM (Post 2443846)
I'm not a Catholic basher or anything, but I've been to Rome and there are hundreds of churches there and there are so many paintings depicting naked children, with genitals and everything, the Seraphim and Cherubim, the highest angels are depicted as naked children.

child abuse is just a political tool now for oppression. Instead of accusing their enemies of being 'enemies of the state' the commies accuse their enemies of child abuse. While it's true, the network of satanic homos who now control much of the machinations of the Beasts government are serial killing pedophiles, they also know how to play the shame game, they accuse others constantly of what they themselves are doing.

100,000 children have been disappearing every year for several decades now, they are never found. a million calls are placed a year, 90% of them are found, with the other parent and what not, but 10% of them are never found, never heard from again. The FBI is running around investigated 'hate crimes' and other such non-sense, but not these missing children, because, they are told not to investigate.

The catholic church held enormous stupid power and stupid people who hold power for stupid reasons often abuse that power to the ultimate extent, i.e having sex with everyone's children.

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/2...dcherubmw0.jpg

http://www.kofc.duq.edu/cherubim.gif

http://www.fragmentsfromfloyd.com/images4/cherubim.jpg

Probably all pornography is wrong, whether it's adults or children, what's the difference, adult pornography is worse, because children don't really know any better. To a child it's just like breast feeding or eating their baby food, kind of icky maybe, maybe feels sorta pleasant, but the degenerative effect on the will is worse in children, maybe? or are the effects on adults just as bad?

Why do people care so much about children, but after they turn 18 they want to torture and kill them for their non-conformist sexuality? It's because they are psychotic, dangerous people who shouldn't be allowed near people, let alone children.

Homosexual pedophilia is the most devastating of course, and I believe comes from this mysterious evil force that is absolutely real and present all around us, especially now that Satan controls the mass media. Satan is probably an alien life form that has an insect like consciousness, views humans are pretty much nothing but it's prey, human emotions are just to be manipulated and use to enslave them, murder, rape them, etc.

People see sexual predation of children as preying on helpless, smaller, weaker people, well, womanizers are doing the same thing, let's be honest, fornication should be illegal as well.

I mean, are you saying adults who engage in 'consensual' sex aren't preying on eachother most of the time? A stronger one preying on a weaker one? One with more money, preying on someone who doesn't have money, as in the case of prostitution? It's the same ugly thing in adult sexuality as in children, it's the same ugly thing in human nature, which is the universal nature of the world and all living things, thus, if there is a God, he is satanic and evil and a Omnipotent Monster and we should all commit mass suicide to end his sick control over higher beings whom he enjoys torturing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MirrorsrorriM (Post 2444100)
the bible says, 'it is not against bone and flesh that we battle, but against principalities and powers', however, the CAtholic translation is the word 'celestials', celestials, principalities and powers, are ALIENS, celestial means 'from the heavens' or 'from the stars'.



the penis is merely the physical object, it's the spiritual power it represents, which is infinite, the phallic symbols you see on every TV show, the news anchors always standing in front of the Washington Monument or some such thing, the triangle, the pyramid on the back of the dollar, represents this concept. Sexual decadence drains the soul and allows satan to enter you and possess you, control your mind, so that you cannot even concieve of a plot against their government without them knowing, you've lost the territory of your own mind. you have become nothing but a thing animated by the spiritual force of Satan, and THAT is the ultimate goal of Satan, and it IS much worse than biological or nuclear weapons. because you are not dead. You are the living dead, still alive, being used by this psychotic homosexual supernatural killer, it's like Satan duct taping you up and putting computer chips in your brain and turning you into a robot, a slave, a thing for their amusement and usefulness. You have become Satan's appliance, with just enough thought left in you, to carry out the mundane tasks of your existence, but nothing more. No concern for spiritual insights or the jurisprudence of fair and righteous self government, only enough of a mind left to see 2 feet in front of you like a mule with blinders.

Obviously though, most of the people, even posting here, won't be able to understand, Satan will confuse them and prevent them from understanding it, he will punish them for their bad thoughts in a million creative ways, subtle subliminal controls too vast for what's left of their putrified minds, rotted with sin and fermented into a demonic elixor of decadence.

As revelation states, 'they shall be drunk with the wine of fornication', the wine of the Great Harlot, Diana, the statue of which sits atop the Capitol Building in Washington, DC.

Texe Marr was an Air Force Colonel, who taught bomber pilots strategy for nuclear war, he's the one I learned that about Diana from.

YouTube - 1. Mystery Babylon - Texe Marrs NWO

when i sense someone is willing to learn something, or give it intelligent consideration I don't mind elaborating.

Posession is simply dominant telepathy. The control a person telepathicly via the pineal gland, or the third eye, which is what the eye on the pyramid represents, the eye which is the symbol you see everywhere now, the CBS eye, etc. The Pineal gland is made of the same type of photoreceptive cells as are in the optic nerve and the retina, they can be stimilated by electromagnetic radiation, of a different frequency than light, they can interpret brain waves the way way your eye and brain interpret light waves. Telepathy is simply a natural, reality you all are never told about because they don't want you to know anything spiritual or true about your supernatural existance.
What people call 'love' or being in 'love' with their wife, they mean, they are in a pleasant state of telepathic union. telepathy isn't always about love. It is also about dominance and subversion of the will, the conquest of the soul, so to speak. One possesses another through sexual conquest, or 'sticking their penis in you' as you so eloquently and casually said.
As the Gospell (god's spelll) says, 'thou becomes one flesh', it warns against becoming one flesh with those possessed of the devil. the crazed sexual urges of demonicly possessed people, is simply the devil trying to spread itself like some kind of psychic virus, it's consciousness is trying to spread itself via sexual contact.

the Movie 'Fallen' is a good illustration of this, but uses the euphemism of touching people to possess them. the touching is a euphemism for sexual intercourse.


Janie 08-25-2008 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe (Post 2499559)
I wonder how many nights in a row I'll have to cook dinner to score some anal.

and from the same thread...

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD (Post 2501883)
I'd be afraid that if I put a price on sex, inflation would not have the desired effect on my penis.


PlanG 09-14-2008 08:29 AM

Hmm.. What board is the clavus story in, and what can I do to get access?

Also, can anyone give me a synopsis/quote? Thanks :)

MSD 09-18-2008 05:19 AM

In the Ladies' Lounge, asking what they like about porn
Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl (Post 2526785)
Tits. I love watching tits bounce up and down. There's really no other way to put it.
...


Jetée 09-23-2008 05:27 PM

Putting the proverbial screws to you, if your name, is in fact, LoganSnake:
Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake (Post 2527398)
Do TFP moderators get perks?

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz (Post 2527407)
We get to create threads called "I hate LoganSnake" to make our complaints about you known. No one else, just you. It's part of the new "I Hate LoganSnake Mod Rules we adopted about 2 years ago." Seems to be working out pretty well, don't you think?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake (Post 2527498)
And on the topic of hating me, I'm surprised you took note of me two whole years ago. I didn't think I was too much of a pain in the ass until recently.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz (Post 2527539)
LoganSnake, let me assure you that I've hated you since the day before you signed up for TFP. Even though I didn't know you then, I had that premonition. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at showing it, so I've been stuck on stealing the occassional sock from your dryer and leaving wads of gum on the sidewalk for you to step on. And even more unfortunately, I'm now accused of being a pervert because I have a collection of damp, unmatched socks and a sore jaw. Perhaps if I wore pants more often....


Jozrael 09-24-2008 08:06 AM

In a discussion on Dubai fining tourists for drinking juice in public during their fast.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frosstbyte (Post 2530915)
Is this kind of like how women have to cover themselves up so men don't go crazy and try to fuck everything in sight? Do all the pious Muslims have so little self control that merely seeing a non-Muslim eating or drinking would cause them to fly into a feeding frenzy?


Willravel 09-29-2008 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TullyMars
The food there sucked, but it turns out so did the dancers for an extra $30. I stuck with the crappy food.

Hahahaha.... awesome.

abaya 09-29-2008 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana (Post 2280331)
I live this:
Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
...You won't know if you're impotent until you actually try to have sex, though.

That's hilarious! :lol: And true.

Holy shit, I have no idea when/where/why I posted that... I have never looked in this thread before, clearly I missed out sometime in July 2007. :D

Frosstbyte 09-29-2008 09:56 AM

Not totally sure how I feel about that being my Hall of Fame quote really...

Guess having an acid tongue can bite back at you sometimes. Hmmmmm.

Willravel 09-29-2008 10:09 AM

I'm cool being in here, though my quotes were on AIM. Is it sad to laugh at your own funnies?

noodle 09-29-2008 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanblah
Last time a cop was at my house was for a birthday party for my seven-year-old daughter. It got pretty out-of-hand. We made the mistake of getting a couple of My Little Pony Kegs.

This just made me giggle.

Jozrael 09-30-2008 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reverendjay (Post 2535604)
Love, much like juggling chainsaws on a tightrope, requires balance. (and could result in bodily harm unto death if done wrong)


inBOIL 11-11-2008 12:48 AM

I just found this gem in one of the older threads. It was in response to the question "have you ever tasted your own cum?"
Quote:

Originally Posted by clavus (Post 451520)
Every time I kiss my grandma.

Oh, Jesus. Did I just say that?


MSD 11-11-2008 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel (Post 2534663)
I'm cool being in here, though my quotes were on AIM. Is it sad to laugh at your own funnies?

Friends frequently pull out great catchphrases, then inform me -- much to my surprise -- that I was the one who said it in the first place. Nothing wrong with it, although it might be less vain to enjoy it if you're not expecting to see someone else saying it was funny.

Willravel 11-11-2008 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD (Post 2559078)
Friends frequently pull out great catchphrases, then inform me -- much to my surprise -- that I was the one who said it in the first place. Nothing wrong with it, although it might be less vain to enjoy it if you're not expecting to see someone else saying it was funny.

I was thinking more of a "comic laughing at his own jokes" kinda thing. The vanity of being accepted as funny would probably only be a bad thing if I was trying hard to be funny.

Now that I've reread it, I kinda want to film the Se7en Christmas idea.

Coolyo 11-29-2008 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD (Post 2566147)
Do people know what Google is, or is it a private service that only a few of us get?

The code is 78561



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:46 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360