Originally Posted by clavus

Alarmed, I reached out to catch her, to save her, to shove her silly ass in if she were to fall. My hand shot out, and in one swift motion I shoved my thumb right up my airborne dog’s butthole.

I don't know which was worse; violating my dog's butt, or the look she gave me afterwards.

Originally Posted by clavus

The really pathetic thing about being poisoned is that both ends of your body require the use of the same space, often at the same time. And while you really really want to put your head over the toilet bowl before you hang your ass over it, it’s not always practical to do so. Eventually you realize that it’s a moot point. Your face is exactly where your ass was moments ago.

Originally Posted by clavus

Dear God, I drank from the toilet-brush cup.

Originally Posted by DJMala

Maybe it's me, but I think getting him a stint in pound-me-in-the-ass federal prison would be much more satisfying than sending him a rude e-mail.

Originally Posted by clavus

I was so busy laying down my drug-induced comedy routine that I barely noticed when the doctor picked up what must have been H.R. Giger’s crochet hook and stuck it into my sack-hole.

Originally Posted by clavus

The bad part comes days later, when you get your stitches caught in your underwear just prior to taking a pee in a public restroom, and you nearly bite your tongue off trying not to squeal while the guy at the urinal next to you pretends like he doesn’t notice you gyrating and chewing on your tongue.

Originally Posted by Faygo

I own a dream car. It's a fucking nightmare.

Originally Posted by screamincheetah

You wouldn't walk right up next to a stranger anywhere else in the world and groan as your rip one right on top of him, but for some reason it's cool in the bathroom. Little secret you Fart Game players............ NOT COOL MAN!!

Originally Posted by < |_| |2 T | 5

Dont just jog along either, run like you stole something.

Originally Posted by Hard8s

I'm not gonna say who the quote was from, as I'm not sure she would want her name attached when it's posted out of the context it was given in. But it was memorable!

Originally Posted by lurkette

Beauty fades, but stupid is forever.

Originally Posted by bernadette

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/tfp/dr_fly.jpg">
or just fucking talk to him ^ ;)

Originally Posted by Ella

(I'll try and hide the cinammon...we use it for good not evil over here.. :D )

Originally Posted by eyeronic

Now the key between the e and t doesn't wok.

I am going to jump off a bidge. :(

Originally Posted by munchen

this is your dick man, don't fuck with it.

Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct

I'm still trying to contemplate the logistics of ripping out a testicle through the scrotum without surgical tools.

Originally Posted by clavus

Eat a can of corn and get your shit together.

Originally Posted by innovis

No, I'm not misstakenly putting it in her butt.

Originally Posted by TheWalkinDude

I had no idea pouring liquid into a sink could be so hard. But the fact that I didn't want to get rid of it just reinforced that fact that I had to.

Originally Posted by Val_1

You try and try and pull and tear and rip and .... then you find out its one with the clasp in the front.

Originally Posted by ARTelevision

I've wanted to say somethinbg in this thread since it began.

The problem I have is attempting to think of attraction as physical. I don't. I see a person's consciousness and that is all I am interested in.

So I was thinking of cliches like looking into a person's eyes, etc.

Then it occurred to me that a person's behavior is a physical sign.

I pay attention to behavior as a sign of consciousness.

Originally Posted by wolfpack0102

a female butt!

Originally Posted by kurty[B

Lesson to be learned - Don't give someone with no shame a megaphone and an excuse to make an ass out of himself.

Originally Posted by tecoyah

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

I would have communicated to the perky server that my tip was going to be based on how well he understood me when I said no thank you.

Originally Posted by Hard8s

I'm not gonna say who the quote was from, as I'm not sure she would want her name attached when it's posted out of the context it was given in. But it was memorable!

Originally Posted by K-Wise

You don't even have to say her name. I know who she is and she rocks!

<i>OOOONDA!!! Mi onda es mi vida!</i> <--- pay that no mind.

Asta!!

Originally Posted by Mojo_PeiPei

It's probably some phenomena likened to that of Rome's fixation with the Gladiators and such, only difference is we get Kill Bill.

Originally Posted by NCB

Thank God he's not married to a Schiavo

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Most likely to be wearing cartoon underwear, right now: The Original King

Originally Posted by skinnymofo

but the fingers into the anus not only crossed the line it set it on fire and peed on it.

Originally Posted by clavus

I AM the freakish experience my children have.

Originally Posted by clavus

In space nobody can hear your banjo.