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01-23-2004, 11:27 PM
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#81 (permalink) | ||
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Natalie Portman is sexy.
Location: The Outer Rim
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Quote:
Quote:
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"While the State exists there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin "Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form."- Karl Marx |
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01-24-2004, 04:50 AM
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#82 (permalink) |
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High Honorary Junkie
Location: Tri-state.
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um, i don't know what everybody's talking about but I only started laughing with your last sentence, and then only reservedly
the rest was quite disturbing, and I was in an upright fetal position the whole time A+ for the information |
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01-24-2004, 06:46 AM
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#83 (permalink) |
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Lust Puppy
Location: in your closet and in your head...
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After reading that I will never get mine done. I laughed so hard they both popped out hit the floor and my wife smashed them!
Bless you for the funniest writing I've ever read.!
__________________
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. |
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02-10-2004, 05:19 AM
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#89 (permalink) | |
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Insane
Location: Location, Location, Location
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Quote:
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Remember, no matter where you go...there you are Last edited by absofsteel; 02-10-2004 at 05:26 AM.. |
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02-10-2004, 08:11 AM
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#91 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: northamptonshire
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Again you have me in stiches
Did this not prep you for shaving your own. How did I miss this post. You have large ones for getting it done man that could explain the pain. have a friend who say he can really feel it in the cold but he did not get to rep the benefit of being free from contraceptives for two months.
__________________
Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila. [/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE] |
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02-10-2004, 08:36 AM
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#92 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: Michigan
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Holy hell.
We are having our 3rd kid at the moment (just found out a few weeks ago) and we decided one of us is getting clipped. After reading this, I think they can clip her while shes already drugged and having the baby :-P (she knows I love her!). You did a good job on making the story fun, but damn, I don't think I want to be like that for a month  .
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Patterns have a habit of repeating themselves. |
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02-10-2004, 09:53 AM
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#94 (permalink) |
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Junkie
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I thought this line was particularly descriptive, "It took me about a week before I stopped trying to walk AROUND my ice-covered crotch." It really painted the picture for me. Thanks for sharing.
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I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing. Robert A Heinlein in "They Do It With Mirrors" |
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02-10-2004, 10:05 AM
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#95 (permalink) |
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Location: Charleston, SC
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At this time, I think I need to send a special shout out to the women who are reading this. Before you send me the “That’s nothing compared to what a woman goes through during birth / hysterectomy / gang-bang” email, let me just tell you to please shut your pie-holes. Women are tougher than men and we all know it. I’m sure if you ladies had scrotums, you’d pound them with bricks and wouldn’t even flinch. I don’t want to hear about it.
That is the funniest thing I have ever read  |
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02-11-2004, 05:41 PM
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#98 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: Connecticut
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dude, my experience left me with a nutsack the size of a grapefruit and the color of a bruise (internal bleeding) for a MONTH. Try walking around for a month with a grapefruit where your balls used to be.
At least the surgery accomplished its goal.
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less I say, smarter I am |
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02-11-2004, 08:44 PM
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#99 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: the tangent universe
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You're a great story teller. You should do stand-up!
Quote:
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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds... |
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02-12-2004, 09:05 AM
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#100 (permalink) | |
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Insane
Location: Rainy Washington
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j/k - My own experince was totally anti-climactic compared to all of these - I was awake, no real pain, and only some tenderness for a few days. I took no pain medication (apart from a preemptory Advil as soon as I got home) at all... |
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02-13-2004, 06:28 AM
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#101 (permalink) |
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absolute relativist
Location: D.C.
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I don't know how I missed this when it was first done. Very well done Clavus. You have all the hallmarks of the good story teller. Just a damn shame you had to get cut to get the material.
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Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer! |
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10-25-2004, 10:02 PM
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#103 (permalink) |
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Addict
Location: Central PA
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thanx for the rather graphic story...even tho the parts about sitting on the floor trying to tell ur kids to be nice lol...i will have to be undergoing that myself...tho i did have kidney stones i would hope they would be worse then this surgery is
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10-25-2004, 11:09 PM
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#104 (permalink) |
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*edited for content*
Location: Austin, TX
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Can we get a NSFW sticker here, I almost got in trouble for laughing so loud reading this at work! Really hard to explain when you got tears running down your face your laughing so hard.
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There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky |
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10-26-2004, 06:51 AM
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#107 (permalink) |
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Illusionary
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Guess I am next.....damn, sounds like a wonderful time....Wife is gonna pay big time for this one.
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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha |
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12-23-2004, 10:56 PM
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#116 (permalink) |
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Upright
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Oh man that was great, you had me laughing so hard!
That brings up memories big memories of when i had a testicular torsion (my left nut got completely twisted around citting off the circulation to my testical). I had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery. It sounded like a very similar experieneces except for that fact that i ran into the hospital screaming as i had dry heaves from the pain of the feeling that my left ball was being crushed with a nutcracker....man that is probably the most horrible experience of my life.  |
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12-24-2004, 06:06 AM
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#117 (permalink) |
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Lust Puppy
Location: in your closet and in your head...
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My vasectomy was for free. I signed up for a medical study and was chosen to participate. My group received a placebo not valium, also saline salution, nothing to numb the sack. They played soft music. Needles to say my group didn't do well. Three charges of assult came about when the doctors were punched byshaved naked men....
__________________
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. |
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03-19-2007, 06:13 PM
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#118 (permalink) |
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Upright
Location: Ontario, Canada
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It’s a good thing you've already got a kid, I’d hate to see this sense of humour not be passed down to future generations. Oh, and have you ever watched a scary movie, where someone gets stabbed in the eye, and you wince and cover your eye for no reason? I was shielding my balls with one hand and squeezing my knees together halfway through the post...
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01-11-2008, 07:51 PM
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#120 (permalink) |
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Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
Location: Windiwana
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Very Funny, clavus. But i dont think im getting a vasectomy anymore.
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller |
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