wife cheating me? [aka - The Missing Condom Thread]

[shesus]

Way to keep things classy, TFP.

This guy obviously has a concern, whether you think he's lying, ridiculous, or whatnot. His wife could be cheating on him, it's not unheard of for that to happen. I assume the decreasing membership is no longer a concern around here. At least you'll have "a classic" to add to the Hall of Fame.

Apropos of the OP: The other night, I was having drinks with some girlfriends. The topic came around to a friend's husband who counts condoms, sniffs her panties, and tries to catch her in lies daily. She is not cheating, but it is leading to the demise of their marriage. If the trust is not in a relationship, it isn't going to work.

It's obvious that the people here can't help you. You need to speak with your wife and work things out or quit. Living in a state of paranoia is not healthy for you, her, or the relationship.

[Xerxys]

^^ Just a little bit more badgering and I can put down a lot of money on the OP being a troll ...

But just in case he isn't, I say let it go man. What difference does it make? You both sleep with other people and I am getting heavy "loveless marriage" vibes here.

[telekinetic]

Originally Posted by nice19761976

first off all i did not post any comment on exwii,okay.

Why are you lying about this? It's clearly you, you even started a thread identical to this one about a condom missing. wife cought - eXBii

---------- Post added at 11:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:56 AM ----------

Originally Posted by nice19761976

yes we both hav relation out side marrage ,we both know each others past,but my question is if she had with another man why did she hide with me.

The reason we are confused is "Relation outside marriage" means that you have both had relations with people since getting married. As in, it is ok for you to be with other people, even now. If you are talking about your past, you should say "Relations before marriage" not "relations outside marriage"

[Martian]

Originally Posted by shesus

Way to keep things classy, TFP.

This guy obviously has a concern, whether you think he's lying, ridiculous, or whatnot. His wife could be cheating on him, it's not unheard of for that to happen. I assume the decreasing membership is no longer a concern around here. At least you'll have "a classic" to add to the Hall of Fame.

Y'know, I'm so glad we have you around to tell us all the ways we suck and how much better things used to be. Really, how would we get along without these constant reminders?

...

You want a serious response? Fine.

OP, you're overreacting to the point that clearly many of the responders here find it comical. One single missing condom doesn't prove a damn thing. If you have other reasons to suspect your wife of cheating, fine; but based on what you've told us, your reaction is way out of proportion.

Maybe it fell behind the headboard/toilet/whatever. Maybe the wrapper tore, she threw it out and subsequently forgot. Maybe you miscounted. Maybe one of your friends borrowed one. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

So a condom's missing. That doesn't justify jumping to ludicrous conclusions.

Talk to your wife. Don't accuse; just discuss your concerns. It's way too early to think these things.

...

For the record, I still recommend the ceremonial dagger.

[Punk.of.Ages]

Originally Posted by telekinetic

Whereas in a post on eXBii:

Wait...

Who slept with their cousin?!
________

I can definitely understand how her hiding she slept with someone else, rather than her simply sleeping with someone else, is where the issue lies, but it's just a missing condom...

[LoganSnake]

[Halcy]

Still not with you, my friend; one condom does not a conspiracy make. My husband is a consummate OCD-counter, but I promise you that in the throws of passion (and occasional viking role play) we've both lost count of how many gel inserts were left in the box. Your willingness to immediately condemn your wife rather than assign this all to human error is a little odd; I think everyone is curious to know if you have anything more concrete, so that relevant advice can be given. Either you have an open relationship or you don't; at this point, it sounds like at worst your wife took advantage of her free-agent status. If you're that pissed about one missing condom, tell her she owes you a $1.40. Otherwise, we'd like to hear about the sneaking around, late night phone calls, and whipped-cream stains on the sheets...you know, evidence.
As to why she might hide it, i think the hardcore condom-counting and the hours and hours of obsessing over it without talking to her like she's an adult human being might be your first clue...

[dlish]

Originally Posted by Martian

Y'know, I'm so glad we have you around to tell us all the ways we suck and how much better things used to be. Really, how would we get along without these constant reminders?

...

You want a serious response? Fine.

OP, you're overreacting to the point that clearly many of the responders here find it comical. One single missing condom doesn't prove a damn thing. If you have other reasons to suspect your wife of cheating, fine; but based on what you've told us, your reaction is way out of proportion.

Maybe it fell behind the headboard/toilet/whatever. Maybe the wrapper tore, she threw it out and subsequently forgot. Maybe you miscounted. Maybe one of your friends borrowed one. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

So a condom's missing. That doesn't justify jumping to ludicrous conclusions.

Talk to your wife. Don't accuse; just discuss your concerns. It's way too early to think these things.

...

For the record, I still recommend the ceremonial dagger.

hang on... i thought all of those possibilities were already raised in previous posts??

i presonally dont think we're being too hard on the OP.

The OP's now 100% sure of his wifes infidelities based on 1 missing condom. There's more than meets the eye here, and we have no idea what the real story is. Members do not have the ability to provide a decent enough advise to the OP for this reason. no more decent enough that shesus' current advice.

[Xerxys]

Originally Posted by Halcy

Still not with you, my friend; one condom does not a conspiracy make. My husband is a consummate OCD-counter, but I promise you that in the throws of passion (and occasional viking role play) we've both lost count of how many gel inserts were left in the box. Your willingness to immediately condemn your wife rather than assign this all to human error is a little odd; I think everyone is curious to know if you have anything more concrete, so that relevant advice can be given. Either you have an open relationship or you don't; at this point, it sounds like at worst your wife took advantage of her free-agent status. If you're that pissed about one missing condom, tell her she owes you a $1.40. Otherwise, we'd like to hear about the sneaking around, late night phone calls, and whipped-cream stains on the sheets...you know, evidence.
As to why she might hide it, i think the hardcore condom-counting and the hours and hours of obsessing over it without talking to her like she's an adult human being might be your first clue...

Y'know, after reading your post, I believe the OP's wife hid the condom on purpose, to drive him nuts!

[Manic_Skafe]

Originally Posted by shesus

Way to keep things classy, TFP.

This guy obviously has a concern, whether you think he's lying, ridiculous, or whatnot. His wife could be cheating on him, it's not unheard of for that to happen. I assume the decreasing membership is no longer a concern around here. At least you'll have "a classic" to add to the Hall of Fame.

*snip*

It's obvious that the people here can't help you. You need to speak with your wife and work things out or quit. Living in a state of paranoia is not healthy for you, her, or the relationship.

Anyone that's been here as long as you have would know well enough that all of these threads are essentially worthless as they can no more grasp at the truth than the OP can work through their own emotions and biases to communicate it. The fact that we still have anything left to discuss over these same matters amazes me constantly.

And so I ask respectfully enough, what else is there when the answer to this thread and every thread like it are so painfully obvious? When this forum is so obviously used as a revolving door for the broken hearted, what else are we to offer them?

On another note, I know we're probably due for another discussion about why this forum blows in comparison to what it used to be but if you're honestly concerned with bettering this place then I suggest you reconsider your methods.

[shesus]

Originally Posted by dlish

hang on... i thought all of those possibilities were already raised in previous posts??

i presonally dont think we're being too hard on the OP.

The OP's now 100% sure of his wifes infidelities based on 1 missing condom. There's more than meets the eye here, and we have no idea what the real story is. Members do not have the ability to provide a decent enough advise to the OP for this reason. no more decent enough that shesus' current advice.

Telling someone that you're fucking their wife or that they should commit suicide are acceptable responses, then spending the rest of the thread patting each other on the back about how funny those responses are are also acceptable responses? I got a pm from another member saying they thought the same thing, but didn't have the guts to say it. There is more than meets the eye here and discussion would involve talking with the guy and asking questions instead of calling him a liar, mocking him, and then interrogating him.


I'm not sure why some posters get so defensive about their immature responses or why me saying sarcastically that this is classy gets martian or manic skafe so emotional. Get over yourselves and your opinions of me. I've moved on and it would be a healthy choice for you to let it go as well.

[Plan9]

Healthy as in Dr. Phil or healthy as in some-guy-that-joined-in-2007-is-still-wondering-why-this-circle-jerk-is-still-going?

[The_Jazz]

Really, shesus? Really? You want to know what would have happened "back in the old days"? Fine. This thread would have been immediately deleted or locked because the OP was vague and really not discussion-worthy. It's been turned into something that's discussion-worthy by the subsequent posters, not the OP.

And I'm not about to apologize to anyone for using obvious satire to point out the fallicies in his assumption - just like you're not going to apologize for your sarcasm. As I said, it was obvious what he wanted to hear. If he's got more reasons to draw that conclusion, he hasn't shared them with us.

Sometimes obvious trolls are just obvious. Especially when you can easily find the same post word-for-word on other boards.

[LordEden]

Originally Posted by shesus

Telling someone that you're fucking their wife or that they should commit suicide are acceptable responses, then spending the rest of the thread patting each other on the back about how funny those responses are are also acceptable responses? I got a pm from another member saying they thought the same thing, but didn't have the guts to say it. There is more than meets the eye here and discussion would involve talking with the guy and asking questions instead of calling him a liar, mocking him, and then interrogating him.

I'm not sure why some posters get so defensive about their immature responses or why me saying sarcastically that this is classy gets martian or manic skafe so emotional. Get over yourselves and your opinions of me. I've moved on and it would be a healthy choice for you to let it go as well.

Martian has emotions? I thought he only had random bouts of NerdRage (tm). Wow, you learn something everyday.

*****

I look at it this way, this guy is carpet bombing forums with his question in hopes that someone goes ahead and says, "You wife is fucking your friend/brother/cousin/milkman/spanish-speaking maid, now go dump her." Once a week we get one of these quasi-troll threads asking for advice that the OP won't take. I'm pretty sure that the OP already has an answer in his head and nothing we say will change his mind.

(From what I've seen) These threads follow the same pattern:

Start: OP posts a question with no background information, no detail, and (half the time) in bad/broken English.
1st Half: Members try to help/decipher the OP and we get a few responses from the user.
2nd Half: OP stops posting and TFP gets bored giving the same advice over and over again. Begin the mocking. This is where the thread becomes fun to post in.
End: Someone calls all us immature and hateful, an argument begins and the thread ends.

Ad Nauseum.

Hal once stated (and I agree with him) that people don't listen to 99% of the advice on the board, they just wait till they get that piece of advice that is similar to their own. They then run with this because someone told them they were right. Again, they don't want advice, they want someone to tell them they are correct in their assessment of the own situation.

/end .02

[Plan9]

It was recently discovered that the Internet was in fact invented by Al Gore for the purpose of dispensing validation and pornography.

...

Honestly, my first real post here at the TFP was the embarrassing emo sob story routine where I just wanted someone (a total stranger, no less) to tell me to stop being such a blubbering pussy and that everything would be okay because that type of thing has happened to a million other guys before. I came to TFP for an audience and stayed because nobody was going to give me a OP handjob. Tough love is tough but honest. Hard to find that out there in the world of Facebooks and Reddits.

...

The Obvious: One hit wonders show up at TFP to post questions that have been answered a million times because they want company.

[Magpie_1]

Originally Posted by LordEden

Martian has emotions? I thought he only had random bouts of NerdRage (tm). Wow, you learn something everyday.

Silly person. Martian doesn't have emotions. It truly is just random bouts of nerdrage.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Magpie_1

Silly person. Martian doesn't have emotions. It truly is just random bouts of nerdrage.

This is intriguing. Continue.

[dlish]

Originally Posted by telekinetic

Yeah...why open a pack you're not going to use? That makes no sense.

i'd hate to see this thread die in the ass, so i though i'd answer TK's question.

when i buy a pack i open the pack before i put it in the draw. i'd hate to think that i'd fumble around tearing the wrapping, then opening the pack and then tearing the condom pack open....

in the mean time...... say goodbye to 'the zone'

know what i'm sayin'?

i ALWAYS open the pack beforehand

[Manic_Skafe]

Originally Posted by shesus

I'm not sure why some posters get so defensive about their immature responses or why me saying sarcastically that this is classy gets martian or manic skafe so emotional. Get over yourselves and your opinions of me. I've moved on and it would be a healthy choice for you to let it go as well.

Get over myself? Sure.
Get over my opinions of you? Get real.

I've been here since 2003 and have less than two thousand posts - don't assume I care about you or this forum any more than my willingness to contribute makes obvious enough.

If you won't offer what I've written the least bit of consideration then spare me a response.

[LoganSnake]

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

And so I ask respectfully enough, what else is there when the answer to this thread and every thread like it are so painfully obvious? When this forum is so obviously used as a revolving door for the broken hearted, what else are we to offer them?

PICK ME! OOOOHHHH PICK ME!!! OVER HERE!! HAND RAISED AND EVERYTHING! PICK MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Whatever, I'll just say it.

How about......we LOCK this forum up with a sign that says "GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND AND TALK TO YOUR PARTNER."

That will take take of about 99.99% of answers people usually get in Sexuality anyway.

[Shauk]

I'm gonna laugh when the OP makes you all feel like a bunch of jaded assholes and finds out that she really was cheating on him.

[LoganSnake]

And that would be our fault how, exactly?

I mean, sure, we can sit here and suck dick of compassion...but, compassion to what? An assumption that his wife cheated based on a missing condom? He should be talking to her, not us.

A lot of people here like to play psychologist and just get to the root of a particularly pesky problem, but our guess is as good as his.

[Martian]

What happened to you, shesus? You used to be cool.

This is a non-thread. OP is starting multiple threads in muliple forums. He's posting up information that is confusing or downright contradictory, and then trying to deny it when confronted.

Some folks have suggested he's looking for validation. Could be. I'm not that charitable, myself. I'm reasonably sure it's flat-out trolling, and not convinced the OP even has a wife to begin with.

Addressing the implied meta aspect, TFP has changed. Newsflash: It's The Internet. Things change here faster than anywhere else.

Some of us like the new TFP. If you don't, the only question I have is why the hell would you keep coming back?

I don't want you to get a false sense of my investment here, hon. When I go to bed at night, the opinion various posters on this forum have of me is not something I lie awake thinking about. At the same time, I'm sure as hell not going to sit around and let you shit on me and the people I consider friends because you're bitter. You want to pull that bullshit, I'll call you on it every time. Consider it a promise.

Also, my emotions are a meticulously crafted simulation. My heart is bitter and cold.

[Lucifer]

Originally Posted by dlish

i'd hate to see this thread die in the ass, so i though i'd answer TK's question.

when i buy a pack i open the pack before i put it in the draw. i'd hate to think that i'd fumble around tearing the wrapping, then opening the pack and then tearing the condom pack open....

in the mean time...... say goodbye to 'the zone'

know what i'm sayin'?

i ALWAYS open the pack beforehand

Are muslims allowed to use condoms?

[LoganSnake]

Originally Posted by Lucifer

Are muslims allowed to use condoms?

ANSWER HERE!

[Lucifer]

was I asking you?

[LoganSnake]

Oh, pardon me. I appear to be lost and not on the internet where anybody can give answers to anything.

[Lucifer]

really...jeez

[LordEden]

Originally Posted by Martian

Also, my emotions are a meticulously crafted simulation. My heart is bitter and cold.

Oh thank god, I started to panic there for a minute. If Martian starts having emotions and feelings, that means we are one step closer to the Robot Apocalypse.

I almost started packing my stuff to go be an added burden to Plan9's The-World-Went-To-Shit Plan.

[dlish]

i love this thread for its frankness... thank you TFP

Lucifer - yes muslims are allowed to use condoms. its usage is worldwide, though in some cultures its usage is limited because of socioeconomic reasons or cultural reasons where large families are wanted/expected.

But as long as both parties agree to it, then yes. Coitus interuptus (aka 'the pull out method') is also acceptable, which is not the case with other abrahamic faiths.

i'd answer this in detail if you like in my 'ask a muslim thread' found here http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/general...sk-muslim.html

surprisingly #8 on the googlesearch

[ring]

Thanks for the reminder, dlish,
as I was trying to fall asleep last night I remembered a question I wanted to ask you on your thread.

To the OP:
I hope you have gleaned what might be useful for you,
from our various answers and antics.

I'm guessing your native language might be Hindi, I'm not sure.
I wonder if there is a universal language translator application for the internet.

English is a monster of backwardsness and contradictions,
to learn, so I've heard.

[dlish]

ring gave me an idea..

to the OP, if you do come from the subcontinent, if it's any consolation, i have many workers that work for me that are of indian background. most of my guys speak either hindi or malayalam as well as some other dialects.

if you like you could send me your question in your local dialect and i can have it translated into english for you if you wanted to get your true point across.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by LordEden

I almost started packing my stuff to go be an added burden to Plan9's The-World-Went-To-Shit Plan.

Eden, your BAC must be 0.05 or less to participate in said plan.

...

This makes me think some people have weird condom accountability habits. Hell, I don't even keep condoms in the box. I buy / acquire (free college bin) like 20-something at a time and I certainly don't count them as I use them. I might eyeball them to make sure I have like 5-6 for the weekend, but no counting. I tear the packets apart and throw them in the front of my partner's bra/underwear drawer so I can grab and go in the heat of the moment.

...

Maybe I should write on them with Sharpie and keep a log of their "deployment." If nothing else, it'd be a funny journaling activity.

"17 November - Deployed condom #473. Difficult to open at first. Rolled on smooth. Thrusted for 1.5 runs of Steve Miller's 'Abracadabra.' Rolled up used condom and disposed of in bathroom trashcan. Condom last spotted next to spent TP roll and a bloody tissue from nose another bleed. Really should buy a humidifier."

[Daniel_]

Originally Posted by Plan9

Eden, your BAC must be 0.05 or less to participate in said plan.

...

This makes me think some people have weird condom accountability habits. Hell, I don't even keep condoms in the box. I buy / acquire (free college bin) like 20-something at a time and I certainly don't count them as I use them. I might eyeball them to make sure I have like 5-6 for the weekend, but no counting. I tear the packets apart and throw them in the front of my partner's bra/underwear drawer so I can grab and go in the heat of the moment.

...

Maybe I should write on them with Sharpie and keep a log of their "deployment." If nothing else, it'd be a funny journaling activity.

"17 November - Deployed condom #473. Difficult to open at first. Rolled on smooth. Thrusted for 1.5 runs of Steve Miller's 'Abracadabra.' Rolled up used condom and disposed of in bathroom trashcan. Condom last spotted next to spent TP roll and a bloody tissue from nose another bleed. Really should buy a humidifier."

He he he - I bought a 40" shipping container full of condoms last week - it's gonna take me a couple of weeks to get through them.

[Lucifer]

Originally Posted by ring

I'm guessing your native language might be Hindi, I'm not sure.
I wonder if there is a universal language translator application for the internet.

Once again, and sorry if I sound as snarky as others in this thread, Google has one. If you look to the right of the searchbox on the google homepage, and click on "language tools", you can translate paragraphs (cut and paste) or whole webpages.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Daniel_

He he he - I bought a 40" shipping container full of condoms last week - it's gonna take me a couple of weeks to get through them.

Well, I vote for you to chronicle your carnal adventures as far as the use of them.

[Glory's Sun]

Originally Posted by Lucifer

Once again, and sorry if I sound as snarky as others in this thread, Google has one. If you look to the right of the searchbox on the google homepage, and click on "language tools", you can translate paragraphs (cut and paste) or whole webpages.

and google's translator is horrid.

just sayin'

[dlish]

^ which is why i offered my services

[Plan9]

Yeah, online automatic translation services pretty much "blow the goat."

Alta Vista's Babelfish sounds like a Japanese video game dialog from the 1980s.

It gets all "All Your Base Are Belong To Us," etc. It can't even translate English to German.

[Lucifer]

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