wife cheating me? [aka - The Missing Condom Thread] - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Plan9 · 12-14-2009, 02:05 PM

Pfft, you certainly wouldn't BING it.

ring · 12-14-2009, 02:05 PM

Until our OP decides to join us again:

Our all time show might include,
the 'Vogon Poetry Generator.'

BBC - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Vogon Poetry Generator

Here is mine for today.:.:.:

See, see the enabling sky
Marvel at its big puce depths.
Tell me, cat do you
Wonder why the me ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel heavy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your skoolzeling facial growth
That looks like
A mold.
What's more, it knows
Your slurp potting shed
Smells of lentil.
Everything under the big enabling sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm sulphurs.

LoganSnake · 12-14-2009, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer

Attachment 20849

Proof Google is God - Church of Google

Bill O'Rights · 12-14-2009, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shauk

I'm gonna laugh when the OP finds out that she really was cheating on him.

Damn....you're an ass.

Soundbite 101

Cynthetiq · 12-14-2009, 03:02 PM

my god. I missed such a good thread!!!! stupid work...

Daniel_ · 12-14-2009, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

my god. I missed such a good thread!!!! stupid work...

If you'd counted the posts, you'd have known we were cheating on you...

ShaniFaye · 12-14-2009, 04:59 PM

nah, Jazz probably deleted one to make him THINK that

genuinegirly · 12-14-2009, 05:12 PM

Ring, your Vogon Poetry was the last straw. I'm currently laughing so hard I'm unable to breathe!

The_Jazz · 12-14-2009, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

nah, Jazz probably deleted one to make him THINK that

ixnay on the ivingay wayay uffstay!!!

Charlatan · 12-14-2009, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

when i buy a pack i open the pack before i put it in the draw. i'd hate to think that i'd fumble around tearing the wrapping, then opening the pack and then tearing the condom pack open....

i ALWAYS open the pack beforehand

You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.

Plan9 · 12-14-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan

You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.

No, but I do.

dlish · 12-14-2009, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan

You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.

Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!

Halcy · 12-14-2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shauk

I'm gonna laugh when the OP makes you all feel like a bunch of jaded assholes and finds out that she really was cheating on him.

I think that was the source of much of the original confusion, and if I recall no one really denied that she was. The OP stated that they both (if I deciphered correctly) bang other people openly; he automatically assumed based on the "smoking condom" that she had, and wanted to know why she would hide it. Most of the replies were attempting to go back to square one, and determine how he came to his conclusion on such thin evidence.
Judging by what a CIA investigation he's launching over one effing condom, I'm amazed she's out of his sight long enough to go pee, let alone have an affair.

Also, women have been scientifically proven to have no souls, so I'm incapable of feeling bad whether I'm right or wrong.

canuckguy · 12-15-2009, 05:43 PM

I feel guilty right now just for reading this thread and I did not even cheat.

---------- Post added at 08:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!

Hot.

snowy · 12-15-2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!

You must secretly be Canadian.

Xerxys · 12-16-2009, 03:17 AM

A naked man in socks looks ridiculous IMHO!

dlish · 12-16-2009, 07:02 AM

your opinion doesnt add much to the thread.

my sock can double as a condom if you ever find yourself one condom short

Glory's Sun · 12-16-2009, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

your opinion doesnt add much to the thread.

my sock can double as a condom if you ever find yourself one condom short

it must be nice having such small feet.

Cynthetiq · 12-16-2009, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccilvr

it must be nice having such small feet.

like baby socks?

unless youre RHCP.

[IMG]

[/IMG]

ShaniFaye · 12-16-2009, 07:37 AM

oh my eyes

Lucifer · 12-16-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowy

You must secretly be Canadian.

Hey! WTF does that mean?

The_Jazz · 12-17-2009, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer

Hey! WTF does that mean?

That Canadians smell like feet?

ShaniFaye · 12-17-2009, 01:27 PM

So just out of curiosity, for those that saw his post in other places...were they all sensitive to the issue for him?

Cimarron29414 · 12-17-2009, 02:32 PM

She likes putting her sex toy in her butt, but doesn't want to dirty it up so she puts a condom on it. She's embarrassed by this habit and doesn't want to tell you.

EventHorizon · 10-17-2010, 10:17 AM

as frustrating as it might be, you'll never really know and i'm sure it's tearing you up inside bit by bit. regardless it seems like this is a problem you should have figured out prior to marriage. if you don't trust her right now to be completely faithful to you then maybe marriage wasn't a good idea.

flip side: if you do trust her completely, then be willing to accept the fact that maybe you counted your pinky twice when you counted to four. have faith and wait a bit to see if something else happens

sneaky/creepy/distrusting: ask for a day off of work because you're 'sick' and borrow a friend's car and park across the way from your house and keep watch to see if a strange car leaves or if she leaves to some strange house.

Craven Morehead · 10-17-2010, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

She likes putting her sex toy in her butt, but doesn't want to dirty it up so she puts a condom on it. She's embarrassed by this habit and doesn't want to tell you.

or something like this....

TheCrimsonGhost · 12-19-2010, 07:16 AM

I had given my babies mama (unmarried with children) a condom to keep in her purse incase we needed it. A couple weeks later we were up in the mountains and I wanted to get it on, only to find out that apparently the condom had come open while being jostled around in her purse... or at least that was her story. So I am kinda in the same boat, but I have not come to an conclusions, until I can prove otherwise her story seems possible.

keymaker · 12-28-2010, 03:43 PM

This is too funny!!!

Random Hair · 04-18-2011, 10:26 AM

"last night i counted and found one missed condom ,what does it mean?.i hav been married since last 1 yr,and i usually work in night sift,can i assume that she slept with another male"

Either that or she's making balloon animals.

Or maybe you'll find it under a cupboard or something?

I keep a condom in my wallet. I lost my wallet today, took two hours to find it. It was on the floor under my bed, the contents had fallen out. I quickly grabbed the change and notes, however there was £5 and the condom missing. Should I assume that the missing rubber and cash are under my bed? Or that my wallet is paying for sex with transients?

Jazz post #21.
“Ok, ok, it's not me. I need 2 condoms.” – Is that because you have the same problem Jason Biggs had in American pie? I understand they have products to help with that.

12-14-2009, 02:05 PM	#81 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Pfft, you certainly wouldn't BING it. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

12-14-2009, 02:05 PM	#82 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Until our OP decides to join us again: Our all time show might include, the 'Vogon Poetry Generator.' BBC - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Vogon Poetry Generator Here is mine for today.:.:.: See, see the enabling sky Marvel at its big puce depths. Tell me, cat do you Wonder why the me ignores you? Why its foobly stare makes you feel heavy. I can tell you, it is Worried by your skoolzeling facial growth That looks like A mold. What's more, it knows Your slurp potting shed Smells of lentil. Everything under the big enabling sky Asks why, why do you even bother? You only charm sulphurs. Last edited by ring; 12-14-2009 at 02:22 PM..

12-14-2009, 03:02 PM	#85 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	my god. I missed such a good thread!!!! stupid work... __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

12-14-2009, 04:59 PM	#87 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	nah, Jazz probably deleted one to make him THINK that __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-14-2009, 05:12 PM	#88 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Ring, your Vogon Poetry was the last straw. I'm currently laughing so hard I'm unable to breathe! __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

12-16-2009, 03:17 AM	#96 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	A naked man in socks looks ridiculous IMHO!

12-16-2009, 07:02 AM	#97 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	your opinion doesnt add much to the thread. my sock can double as a condom if you ever find yourself one condom short __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

12-16-2009, 07:37 AM	#100 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	oh my eyes __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-17-2009, 01:27 PM	#103 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	So just out of curiosity, for those that saw his post in other places...were they all sensitive to the issue for him? __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-17-2009, 02:32 PM	#104 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	She likes putting her sex toy in her butt, but doesn't want to dirty it up so she puts a condom on it. She's embarrassed by this habit and doesn't want to tell you. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

12-19-2010, 07:16 AM	#107 (permalink)
TheCrimsonGhost Upright Location: Los Angeles, CA	I had given my babies mama (unmarried with children) a condom to keep in her purse incase we needed it. A couple weeks later we were up in the mountains and I wanted to get it on, only to find out that apparently the condom had come open while being jostled around in her purse... or at least that was her story. So I am kinda in the same boat, but I have not come to an conclusions, until I can prove otherwise her story seems possible.

12-28-2010, 03:43 PM	#108 (permalink)
keymaker Upright Location: N Atlanta Georgia	This is too funny!!!

04-18-2011, 10:26 AM	#109 (permalink)
Random Hair Upright	"last night i counted and found one missed condom ,what does it mean?.i hav been married since last 1 yr,and i usually work in night sift,can i assume that she slept with another male" Either that or she's making balloon animals. Or maybe you'll find it under a cupboard or something? I keep a condom in my wallet. I lost my wallet today, took two hours to find it. It was on the floor under my bed, the contents had fallen out. I quickly grabbed the change and notes, however there was £5 and the condom missing. Should I assume that the missing rubber and cash are under my bed? Or that my wallet is paying for sex with transients? Jazz post #21. “Ok, ok, it's not me. I need 2 condoms.” – Is that because you have the same problem Jason Biggs had in American pie? I understand they have products to help with that.