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Old 10-07-2005, 08:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Favor for an online friend? What would you do?

I'm looking for a bit of reasonable advice about something not too terribly serious, so I posted it here instead of Tilted Living, if it needs moved, ok.

I have an online buddy who lives halfway across the country. I've met him on a couple occasions at some nationwide events we both happened to attend. We've hung out a bit in a group of mutual friends and he's a nice guy. We aren't terribly close, but we inhabit a couple of the same message boards, and work together on a few things with them. He is looking at making a major purchase of an item, and has asked if I would be willing to drive to check it out for him, if he decided to pursue it. The item is about 225 miles from my house, and he's offered to pay my gas and time. The drive would be about 4 hours with traffic, and I'd probably spend an hour there, maybe 90 minutes, checking things out, then return home. He wants someone that he trusts looking at it, and I'm probably the closest of our community that fits the bill. I'm completely willing to do this, and told him that, as long as it fits my schedule. It looks like it very well may be able to be done on a day I can do it without cancelling any plans or taking off of work.

My question is, how much is a reasonable amount to ask for "my time"? I would basically tell him what the gas cost would be, then a flat fee over that. I'm not looking to make a boatload of money on it, but if I do it, it will completly tie up a Saturday I could be spending doing whatever I wanted. Aside from gas, it is also putting nearly 500 miles on my car, I'll have to spend money on food, etc., which is not a huge issue, but a small factor nonetheless. I would probably bring my wife along for company, and just make a full day of it. I want to ask for enough that it's worthwhile, but little enough that it's still a "favor" more than a "job", as I do consider him a buddy. He will be making a fairly major financial decision based on my opinion, so it isn't a completely trivial matter either.


Thought? Opinions?
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Old 10-07-2005, 09:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Personally, I think I'd have a hard time charging a friend for "my time" if I were doing a favor. I'll drive to my friends' place to fix their computer, which could take upwards of two hours. If I'm doing it as a friend, its simply just a cost that I'm willing to incur.

However -- if you really don't know this guy well and its more a business thing than a favor thing, I think a "tip" wouldn't be unfair. You tip waiters and waitresses 10-20% based on how well they do their job, so certainly that wouldn't be unfair to you.. ?
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Old 10-07-2005, 09:04 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I would do just about Anything my on-line best friend would ask, but I'd want to "discuss" my options first, by way of "payback"....

When I'm actually working my fee is between $25.00 to $75.00 per hour depending on the project and agreement.
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Old 10-07-2005, 09:13 AM   #4 (permalink)
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More info please:

If he wants you to check out an old antique used car, and you two met at national antique car rallies and hit it off, then here is my suggestion:

Charge for the gas, and 100 bucks more, to cover incidentals. He is getting a trusted, and possibly expert opinion on his purchase. Everything else is a favour from you. If you make 20 bucks an hour, then a 5 hour task is worth that, and more with meals and shit thrown in.

If you are a real estate broker, and so is he, and he wants you to check out a piece of property:

Charge him a flat consultation fee(1000$?), one that you would charge a friend who asked you to do a local favour. Notice that your proximity to the property and your expertise is again an added bonus, and so is the trust that you two have cultivated...

Now, if you are a car guy, and he is asking you to look at a piece of property, then your expertise is no longer the deciding factor, and I would again resort to the incidentals plus gas equation.

BTW, proper manners dictate that if you do someone a favour that allows them to reap a windfall profit (ie, undervalued purchase of rare car or property, which they then flip at market value) then the recipient of said profit should give AT LEAST 10% of the value (in cash or in kind) to the person who did the favour.
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Old 10-07-2005, 09:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Is this formal or informal? As in, would he get a professional to do this if he didn't ask you? Furthermore, are you a professional at what you're about to do? Can you give an expert opinion on it?

If you're just friends and you're checking out something, I'd charge $150 dollars total. If you're a professional or expert and he's asking for your services, I'd charge something in between a friend fee and a pro fee. It's really hard to say when we don't know what you're doing or looking at.

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Old 10-07-2005, 10:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Yeah it really depends on if it's a professional (more money) opinion, and if you expect favors in return (less money). If it wasn't prof I would charge gas + $80-$200.

Edit: The 80-200 range really depends on how well off you are, how much you mind driving, and how dependent you are on your car (meaning putting 500 miles on it could be a big risk).

Last edited by Zeraph; 10-07-2005 at 10:08 AM..
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Old 10-07-2005, 10:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm not a professional, but I do have what you might call an "enthusiasts' knowledge" of the item. It's not me checking it out that I would expect payment for, it is my travel, and 8-10 hours of my time (a whole Saturday). If it was 20-30 mins away from me, I'd do it for him completely free.

If I don't look at it, he would most likely fly in himself to check it out, and it's in a location that would probably dictate him flying, renting a car, driving 150 miles, etc. It's not something he plans to technically profit off of, but it's something he is looking for that would be an extremely good deal if I check this out and it is what it appears to be.

We are not extremely tight, but we do get along pretty decently. It's not something I would do for him (or most online acquaintences/friends) at my own expense, since it would be 23-25 gallons of gas, at $3.15 a gallon, plus a few bucks for meals, PLUS (and maybe most of all?) my whole Saturday. I'm thinking my true expense for doing it, not counting the time, would be nearly $100.



Hopefully that sheds more light on the subject? Sorry, I can't really go into details.
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Last edited by Borla; 10-07-2005 at 10:17 AM..
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Old 10-07-2005, 10:25 AM   #8 (permalink)
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In your case I would personally only ask for the actual out of pocket expense. If I were doing it on a day when I'd have to take off to do it I'd charge what I normal earn. In your case it sounds like you'd simply be spending your time goofing off or getting chores done. If I wanted to ask for something for my trouble above and beyond the expenses I would probably only ask for $20 or something like that. Otherwise it's no longer a favor. Asking a small amount for your trouble isn't technically wrong as it's saving him a huge bundle but I wouldn't ask too much. You could just ask for the expenses as if I was him I'd probably give you a little extra for your trouble but that would be my way of saying thanks - not what I'd OWE you. You'll keep a friend longer if you don't ask for too much. Put yourself in his shoes and think of how you'd feel about being charged for the time spent. Act accordingly
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Old 10-07-2005, 10:38 AM   #9 (permalink)
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raeanna is right.....its not really a favour if you're charging for it. Im a firm believer in giving someone something over and above an agreed price in the long run, it may not be much but at its usually something that lets the person know that I DO appreciate their time.

If it were me (and since you're taking your wife) I'd just call it a day for a road trip with your gas/meals paid for and I'd do the favour and find someway to have some fun somewhere along the road
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Old 10-07-2005, 10:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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well, Im not trying to diss you, but I wouldnt even consider charging for my "time" if it was me. I'd probably feel a bit ackward about asking for the gas money, but he offered I'd just take it at cost.

As some people know, Im willing to do nice things for people I only know online for no financial reward
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Old 10-07-2005, 11:17 AM   #11 (permalink)
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For the record, and I think I probably should've mentioned this in the first post, HE is the one that suggested I should be paid, not me. He specifically said he wanted to pay me for my travel expenses and my time both. The reason I would accept such, would be because we aren't THAT close, and it is shooting an entire Saturday for me that I could get a lot of my own things done on. It's getting near winter (unfortunately) and there are going to be fewer and fewer nice days left. I don't know if that makes a difference to anyone?

I've done quite a few favors for online buddies. Some involved major, major expense, or a lot of time, or a lot of effort. Those were for people I was much closer to though.
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Old 10-07-2005, 11:22 AM   #12 (permalink)
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thats all good and all, but tell me what is it!!!!!!!


(insert clint eastwood music/dirty harry)

"man, i gots to know"

harry pulls the trigger............

(sigh of relieve)


dude what is the item!

btw take what it costs ya and no more.
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Old 10-07-2005, 11:36 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Borla
It's getting near winter (unfortunately) and there are going to be fewer and fewer nice days left. I don't know if that makes a difference to anyone?
.
Doesn't m ake a difference to me...

If I didn't want to do something, I wouldn't do it... If it's a friend/aquaintance asking, either do the favor and don't expect anything back as compensation, or say no if you really don't want to give up your saturday.

Your saturday is still given up regardless if you make a few bucks from it or not...

Tell him to pay it forward... you helped him out - hopefully at some point he will able to help out someone else in the future.
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Old 10-07-2005, 12:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I wasnt getting at you or saying what you were doing was wrong man. Its just you asked what other people would do, and I wouldnt take any money, thats all.

And the comment about me being nice was just a joke to ShaniFaye - she asked people for some idea's for wedding things, and since she likes Celtic stuff I sent her some old pieces of jewelry from my grandmother (who was from Inverness)
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Old 10-07-2005, 12:26 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous
I wasnt getting at you or saying what you were doing was wrong man. Its just you asked what other people would do, and I wouldnt take any money, thats all.

And the comment about me being nice was just a joke to ShaniFaye - she asked people for some idea's for wedding things, and since she likes Celtic stuff I sent her some old pieces of jewelry from my grandmother (who was from Inverness)
I wasn't as defensive as I sounded in that post. I knew you weren't calling me a rat bastard or anything.
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Old 10-07-2005, 12:49 PM   #16 (permalink)
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As a favor to a friend, I'd just do it. Depending on the friend and the distance, I might or might not accept gas money.

As a business proposition from a casual acquaintance, I'd probably just turn him down. My free time is very valuable to me.

Accepting money to do a favor for a friend wouldn't feel right to me.
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Old 10-07-2005, 12:59 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Borla
I knew you weren't calling me a rat bastard or anything.
we already have one of those round these parts lol

SF along with SEVERAL other people here have done things to help with my wedding. Without my online friends here Oct 29th wouldnt be as near as sepcial as its going to be....and they all did it without asking for anything in return (and some of these are people that unfortunately I've never met)

I think thats all some of us are saying....if he offers it take it, but dont "ask" if he pressures you for an amount, just tell him whatever he thinks is fair for what you are doing
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Old 10-07-2005, 01:00 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Use the IRS standard mileage rate - now at $.485 a mile. 450 miles = $218.25. Can't argue with the IRS.
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Old 10-07-2005, 01:00 PM   #19 (permalink)
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In my book, "favors" are usually free.
He's offering to pay for your gas which I think he should (that is a far bit to drive). As for your "time", well you did offer to do him a favor (which should be free) but like you said, this is a good part of the day so ask him to pay for a meal for you and your wife (if she goes) and that should take care of it.

Doing this at a low cost could make this guy more of a friend than an acquaintance.
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Old 10-07-2005, 01:05 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Most of us have given up saturdays to help friends with moving out, painting, etc. We don't charge our time when we do that.

I wouldn't charge anything. If he's a good guy, he'll probably make sure you eat very well for the next few times that you see him. That's what friends do.

ps. are you not going into details because it's a little shady??

EDIT: I mean I wouldn't charge anything for my time. Charging for gas/food seems reasonable to me.
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Old 10-07-2005, 03:03 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rsl12
Most of us have given up saturdays to help friends with moving out, painting, etc. We don't charge our time when we do that.

I wouldn't charge anything. If he's a good guy, he'll probably make sure you eat very well for the next few times that you see him. That's what friends do.

ps. are you not going into details because it's a little shady??

EDIT: I mean I wouldn't charge anything for my time. Charging for gas/food seems reasonable to me.



It's not shady. He just doesn't want the details public, and even though this board is far removed from any he and I frequent together, I'm not going to go blabbing around about it.
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Old 10-08-2005, 08:30 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Hey - I have to give up about 16 hours of every weekend for sleeping. I'd like to know how much I can charge for that; and whom do I bill?

Seriously, though - I'd charge him for the gas and wear/tear on the car, which is $.36/mile at my present job (probably not enough these days).

Anything over that is unnecessary, IMO. Time - didn't you say you'd take your wife and make a day of it? You want paid to spend time with your wife? And food - don't you normally eat on Saturdays, anyway? Granted, you can eat at home cheaper than dining out, but hey - consider it part of "making a day of it." Or pack a sandwich.

ps - by your secrecy, I'm assuming this is something along the lines of an original Star Wars movie poster?
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Old 10-08-2005, 09:12 AM   #23 (permalink)
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I was thinking it was one of those "real dolls".



kidding of course.
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:24 PM   #24 (permalink)
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So Borla, did ya do it? Was it a fun favor? C'Mon....we need some closure here.
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Old 10-13-2005, 11:53 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Seriously Borla,

You can't hold out on us like this! We need to know what it was!!
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Old 10-13-2005, 02:39 PM   #26 (permalink)
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...

I want to know!! What is it?

I wouldn't charge to do it. I would take the money for gas and food, but not for simply doing the favor.

what is it? what is it?
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Old 10-13-2005, 05:50 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Borla
I wasn't as defensive as I sounded in that post. I knew you weren't calling me a rat bastard or anything.
I shall try not to take offense. (See, Borla, this internet stuff can get out of hand! )

No, look, if one of my TFP buddies asked me to do that, I'd ask for my expenses to be covered, but I'd definitely go run that errand for them. Wouldn't think twice about it.
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Old 10-13-2005, 08:00 PM   #28 (permalink)
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It was to go look at a car. If the car was what it was purported to be, the possibility was there that I would need to drive it BACK to near where I lived to arrange shipping via rail to him as well. He finally found someone who lived near the vehicle to get him some good pics of it. It appears now that the most likely scenario for him is that he'll fly in and give it a final once over before signing the papers. However, I've left it open to help him if he needs it.
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Old 10-14-2005, 10:47 AM   #29 (permalink)
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To me it all comes down to several variables. I personally have driven 8 hours for a friend before, to deliver them something they needed (actually had to break into their house, and then drive to where he was). But a different variable might be your own financial situation. For a friend I would do anything for, that is what it means to be a friend. But if financially I just really could not afford to cover the gas, then I would not be up front and honest about that. Otherwise since we were friends I would thank them for the offer, but decline to be reimbursed.
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