09-22-2005, 03:13 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Lennonite Priest
Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA
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The reason I do my job............
I wrote this letter to my co-workers about 2 weeks ago and am getting ready to turn it in for my English paper...... thought I'd share it with you, my friends, and perhaps have others explain why they love their job.
Quote:
Last night I was reminded why I work here. A client who had burnt many, if not all her bridges came in wanting detox, even though no one was enthused, we allowed her into drop-in as her father said she had no where else to go and to evaluate her for treatment. She had even burnt her bridges at home.
As I was out taking the empty crates out I couldn’t help but notice her crying in the ladies drop-in dorm.
I struggled with myself trying to decide if I should talk to her or let her “suffer”.
I debated and fought myself over this issue.
On the one hand, she was a pain, demanding, snobby, and among other negative qualities extremely self centered.
However, the longer I thought the more I realized, in my addiction I was very similar and had burnt all my bridges. Nuked them actually. Yet, I was lucky enough to have at the very end found someone who put up with me, listened and helped me. Had I not found this person, I probably would either be living on the street practicing my addiction, or involved in other addictions, dead or in prison.
It was when I was reminded of my rock bottom, that I was reminded of why I am here. I realized the ultimate purpose of my job and why I work here; to help and understand those in addiction that everyone else may have given up on.
I observed her smoking outside so I went and talked to her. Granted she did all the talking and came close to breaking down several times, but her pride I believe wouldn’t let her.
She told me of how everyone had given up on her, her father had thrown her out, and she was lost. She truly needed someone just to maybe listen to her and to try to understand and not pass judgment. She put herself down as stupid and ugly and so on ( the pity party game) but I did reassure her that she was beautiful and that she just needed to be honest with herself and give up her anger.
In a system where we crank people in and out, it is very easy for us to become jaded and develop callousness and a somewhat negative outlook when dealing with these people daily.
However, we need to remind ourselves we may have been just as bad if not worse before someone helped us. We can all say we did it on our own and we were ready to quit….. To some degree that is B.S. for me. I needed that one person to believe in me when I no longer could believe in myself, and I thank God everyday for that man.
It’s easy to focus on the ones who keep coming back time and time again, and those who seem to take us for granted and show no gratuity for our help. It can be very heartbreaking to watch someone we thought we touched leave only to comeback in worse shape. The easiest thing in the world is to become jaded and to treat this as just a job and to forget these are real people who are coming to us for help, whatever their motives or reasoning.
I truly believe deep down 99% of our clients want the help, it’s just they may not be honest with themselves, ready to give the addiction up, or feel there truly is no hope so why bother, just go through the motions. How we treat them and what respect we give them, can be the determining factor of whether or not they even try.
These people need to trust us and know we will work as hard as they do to help them recover.
It is easy to get caught up in the negatives of the job, and we forget the true purpose we are here.
I have not met 1 person at Oriana House that does not truly care, but for whatever reason some lose sight of why we are truly here.
I know I did, until I saw myself in a client, at rock bottom, begging someone just to listen to me and not pass judgment.
Perhaps, some of you will say I was “played” by a manipulator, and you may very well be right about this particular client. However, today I can look in the mirror and be happy with myself and the job I did because I gave someone all I had to give, and all the respect I could give, even if she couldn’t return it to me or to herself.
Perhaps she’ll leave here and go straight back to using. If she does, I will be here for her showing the same respect and treating her with the same dignity I would want from someone holding my job.
But maybe, just maybe, I helped her in a way I’ll never know and she was able to take a step forward…. And no matter how small it was still a step forward.
No, I can’t save the world; none of us can….. But we may plant seeds or help just one person and that is what our job truly is all about.
Who knows, someday I may slip and need help again, and the person who helps me was one I believed in and treated with respect when no one else did.
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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"
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