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-   -   Now THIS is good parenting.. (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/92368-now-good-parenting.html)

Jinn 07-22-2005 01:39 PM

Now THIS is good parenting..
 
If you have the patience, you should download this video from ebaumsworld. It's a 10 minute video of a mom SCREAMING her son to give him his credit card so she can buy gas or something. It makes me realize how "good" my parents were, despite how I felt at the time. I'd hate to be this kid, his father, or that mother -- she's outta control!!! The dad certainly chimes in with a rational approach, that "she's been treating you better than you've ever been treated for the last 16 years..." but DAMN she could certainly be a more calm, rational individual... EXTREME PARENTING wooo...


http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/mean_mom.html

...reactions?

P.S. the first 30 seconds or so is dead sound...

The_wall 07-22-2005 01:53 PM

The kid who made this video originally made it and put it on the halo 2 forums to show everyone the kind of crap he has to go through. Its wierd that this might become one of those big internet videos because I saw the original thread it was posted in.

shesus 07-22-2005 02:05 PM

Wow...
Two things from that. How can they be so short on money when the boy's room is set up so nice with electronics? That boy didn't ask to be born so why is the 'dad' telling him that he should be honored that they have been taking care of him, especially since the 'care' is pretty shitty?

I am speechless at the behavior that I just witnessed and my ears are ringing. Wow!

maleficent 07-22-2005 02:06 PM

If it wasn't so sad, it'd be funny... Parents who call their own children spoiled brats just need to be taken out and shot.

I'll give the kid credit, whem mom is reaching ear piercing decibals, the kid doesn't raise his voice... the more mom looses it, the kid's voice stays calm...

I'm sure he's no angel, and he's probably a smart assy kid... but no way does anyone deserve that kind of abuse...

I can't really hear the conversation with what I guess is the mother's boyfriend but that seems to be a little bit more reasonable.

Kid toward the end sounds like he's on the verge of tears... I really feel bad for him

cyrnel 07-22-2005 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent
If it wasn't so sad, it'd be funny... Parents who call their own children spoiled brats just need to be taken out and shot.

I'll give the kid credit, whem mom is reaching ear piercing decibals, the kid doesn't raise his voice... the more mom looses it, the kid's voice stays calm...

He does know the camera's rolling.

I'm sure "ask nicely" is a popular phrase in that house. Youch.

maleficent 07-22-2005 02:16 PM

I'd be almost interesting to hear the moments before mom jumped off the deep end... was she provoked at all...

Granted, that is no excuse at all for the language that she used directed at her child, that woman needs some medication.

The_wall 07-22-2005 02:23 PM

The kid said he bought all that stuff with his own money.

la petite moi 07-22-2005 02:26 PM

Wow, reminds me exactly of my mom....except she used to scream like this when I wouldn't go see a therapist for my non-existent problems with her. Wow, even the cursing is like her...and the frantic high-pitched screams. Wow. Thank god I'm outta that house.

Anyway, I hope that kid can get outta there as soon as he possibly can!

cyrnel 07-22-2005 02:32 PM

She had to be ramped up before the audio kicked in. Hate these one-sided setups. It's so easy to cast someone in a bad light when you know and they don't.

Still, meds, couseling, absolutely.

How long until we get a reality show based on this stuff? Everybody manipulate and record. Battles of the Hidden Video!

la petite moi 07-22-2005 02:40 PM

Cyrnel, I had a mom who had outbursts just like that, and I would do virtually nothing to provoke her. I also took the same calm approach as the kid did, using a low voice to hopefully get her to calm down. So, it may not have just been because the video tape was rolling.

wdevauld 07-22-2005 02:43 PM

That home is just PACKED with love.

Gilda 07-22-2005 02:54 PM

Two thoughts.

First, I thought I had toxic parents. This is a whole new level of verbal abuse.

Second, whenever I see a one party video like this, where one person knows he or she is being recorded, but the other doesn't, I take it with a grain of salt. He who is making the recording is not going to act naturally, but will act in such a way as to make himself look better.

cyrnel 07-22-2005 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi
Cyrnel, I had a mom who had outbursts just like that, and I would do virtually nothing to provoke her. I also took the same calm approach as the kid did, using a low voice to hopefully get her to calm down. So, it may not have just been because the video tape was rolling.

There's certainly something wrong in their relationship, and she's a big part. (My first thought was some kind of chemical issue.) I only meant one view is never complete. I may be going out on a limb here but repeating "ask nicely" after she's gone off the deep end is probably not going to smooth her sails. Parents and children generally know each others' buttons well.

I'd feel better about the kid's motivation had he taken the recording to someone - family, school counselor, even CS - before posting it. Now it's a Springer episode.

They may figure a way to make it work but to me it sounds like they need to come back to it from a distance, after they both want it. Probably after lots of talk therapy.

doodlebird 07-22-2005 03:15 PM

whoa.
i've never heard anything like that from a "parent"
that lady has some issues, to say the least.

i do agree with her on one point.
"you're in my house, you follow my rules"
but she sure didn't go about it very nicely.

for whatever he did to get her so riled...
he probably does deserve to be grounded.

but she calls him lazy?
the kid has a job,
and she wants to ground him from that?
that's cuckoo for cocoa puffs if you ask me.

genuinegirly 07-22-2005 03:22 PM

Looks like he was setting up his camera to record something else and he left it on for all of this. Rather than editing it out and throwing it away, he chose to use it for ammo.
Smart kid. Wish I had thought of something like that when I was younger.
But then again, it makes my family look mild in comparison.
She needs some help, bad. I hope this video was a successful catalyst in that direction. Anyone know the story on what's up with this kid since the video?

raeanna74 07-22-2005 03:25 PM

Wow - does she know no words besides "fuck" and Gimme your card!" My word there is nothing acceptable about her response. Even if she told him to give him his card in a pleasant tone to begin with and he responded with a snide response this shouldn't have been the situation. If he's got a card then he's obviously old enough to have one. Unless the parents gave it to him - which in that case, I don't know why they wouldn't have a duplicate. I wouldn't give a kid his OWN account to which he held the key. If it's his account he doesn't HAVE to give it to his parents. If it's HIS money that he earned it's his. I realize kids will get a job and blow their money on stuff while squatting at their parents and don't help with with anything. This is no way to get him to help out. She's not even trying to reason with him. Demanding and screaming - she sounds hysterical. Definately not sane. No amount of provocation should send a person into hysterics like that if there is NO chemical imbalance or dependance on some chemical or drug. I'm sorry. People like that should not be allowed to be parents.

Lasereth 07-22-2005 03:26 PM

Ha ha, that reminds me of quite a few moments from my childhood. People are going crazy on the Internet about this but it just reminds me of my average day during my childhood. I found this amusing, but only because I can relate to it 100%.

-Lasereth

Da Munk 07-22-2005 03:36 PM

Yeah, even if the kid was a smartass the mom obviously has some serious issues. She needs professional help and that kid needs to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

StanT 07-22-2005 03:38 PM

His mom wants him out of the house by 11, I'd take her up on it. I moved out of my parents house at the first chance I had with a lot less provocation.

maleficent 07-22-2005 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StanT
His mom wants him out of the house by 11, I'd take her up on it. I moved out of my parents house at the first chance I had with a lot less provocation.

But she also grounded him for two weeks - he can't leave the house to go to work or anything - hows he supposed to leave?

Grasshopper Green 07-22-2005 03:43 PM

I have to agree with mal, anyone calling their own kid a spoiled brat has problems....

Even if he was a smart ass to her before the video was shot, there is absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior. I think I heard him say he wasn't going to be living there for long; good for him. No one needs to put up with that kind of shit. I just wonder what the mother is going to do when he's gone and she needs gas money....

la petite moi 07-22-2005 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lasereth
Ha ha, that reminds me of quite a few moments from my childhood. People are going crazy on the Internet about this but it just reminds me of my average day during my childhood. I found this amusing, but only because I can relate to it 100%.

-Lasereth

Same here, Lasereth.

MSD 07-22-2005 04:33 PM

Does the camera move at any point or is it just audio? After reading the thread and hearing about 30 seconds of it, I really have no desire to watch any more.

maleficent 07-22-2005 04:36 PM

the camera tips over at some point.. but you dont see any people or anything

cyrnel 07-22-2005 04:41 PM

It went for 5+ minutes. Maybe less but seemed like longer?

Loved that doppler effect from mom voyaging through the house on warp drive with lungs blazing. Sure hope they've sought outside help.

canuckguy 07-22-2005 04:55 PM

god i hope there are no other kids in the house.

canuckguy 07-22-2005 04:59 PM

I love the line "i've supported you for 16 years!" um yes, because thats your job as a parent. terrible stuff, not sure we see both sides, but that does not give the mother the right to ever talk to there kid like that. does reminded me a bit of my childhood, i just ignored it and knew i would eventually escape.

ObieX 07-22-2005 05:16 PM

I like how she calls him a "fucking son of a bitch" LOL

canuckguy 07-22-2005 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ObieX
I like how she calls him a "fucking son of a bitch" LOL





:lol: totally missed that.

shesus 07-22-2005 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_wall
The kid said he bought all that stuff with his own money.

He is 16 right? I mean the 'dad' said that she has been taking care of him for 16 years. Unless, he was given up for a couple years after birth, that would make him 16. I am assuming here. But if I am right, I want what ever job he has to buy all that stuff. At 16, I was working 20 hours a week at the grocery store for $4.15 an hour (dating myself I am sure). Anyway, unless he is doing something illegal how did he buy all that stuff with his own money.

Second, if he is only 16, there is no way he has his own credit card. It would have to be his mother's card.

I am not supporting the behavior I witnessed on that tape, it is horrible. I am wondering though if the boy is usually that calm or if he put on his own show to make her behavior seem that much worse (not hard to do). Anyway, this mother has obviously spoiled him in the past with all of these material possessions. Possibly these were apology/guilt presents for awful treatment in the past.

Grasshopper Green 07-23-2005 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohh_shesus
At 16, I was working 20 hours a week at the grocery store for $4.15 an hour (dating myself I am sure). Anyway, unless he is doing something illegal how did he buy all that stuff with his own money.

Second, if he is only 16, there is no way he has his own credit card. It would have to be his mother's card.

A lot of places, like Wendy's for example, start out at 7-8 dollars an hour, which is much better than 5.15 when you are 16 years old. If he has no bills to pay, and is not saving any money other than for his toys, he *could* afford to buy things for himself, perhaps not everything that was in his room though. Who really knows.

It could have been a bank card, I don't think it specifically said credit card.

Ustwo 07-23-2005 05:29 AM

Sounds like she needed money for gas for work and he set it up.

Sounds like the kid is an asshole too.

Ustwo 07-23-2005 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct
Does the camera move at any point or is it just audio? After reading the thread and hearing about 30 seconds of it, I really have no desire to watch any more.

Haha I did the same thing.

greeneyes 07-23-2005 05:31 AM

Even if he did get her riled up prior to turning the camera on, aren't parents still supposed to be the adults? I don't care how frustrating and insubordinate kids might become, the parents should never take it to that level.

Johnny Pyro 07-23-2005 06:03 AM

Thats crazy! My mom was bad, but at least we deserved it. "Son, can I borrow $50?" Thats all she would have to say, damn. I guess she must be stressed out or maybe she has a drug problem and she needs $50 for a hit or something. Withdrawals can make you like that. She's probaly just a super bitch though.

Ustwo 07-23-2005 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Pyro
Thats crazy! My mom was bad, but at least we deserved it. "Son, can I borrow $50?" Thats all she would have to say, damn. I guess she must be stressed out or maybe she has a drug problem and she needs $50 for a hit or something. Withdrawals can make you like that. She's probaly just a super bitch though.

Listen carefuly, she already asked before the recording started, he keeps saying to 'ask nicely' and she said something like I asked nicely the first time I came up. Sounds like the kid wanted to provoke his mother and get it on tape. I'm not saying shes not a psycho, but don't be fooled.

maleficent 07-23-2005 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo
Listen carefuly, she already asked before the recording started, he keeps saying to 'ask nicely' and she said something like I asked nicely the first time I came up. Sounds like the kid wanted to provoke his mother and get it on tape. I'm not saying shes not a psycho, but don't be fooled.

Exactly - its the 10 minutes before the recording started that might put this into more perspective... (again, not defending the mom, because that language directed at another person, offspring or not, is never appropriate) but...

greeneyes 07-23-2005 11:31 AM

Just to play devil's advocate here... my mom used to be that way to me all the time and her version of asking nicely was no different that her psycho, crazy version of asking. We'll never know what happened before the camera started rolling but it is of little consequence, she never should have boiled over that way.

cyrnel 07-23-2005 11:58 AM

Quote:

We'll never know what happened before the camera started rolling but it is of little consequence, she never should have boiled over that way.
It's very much of consequence. To take a position that her actions excuse anything by others is to validate whatever manipulation may have taken place to obtain the recording. Once you've been worked a few times you learn to step back and look for the full picture. Unfortunately, it's not available to us so best to reserve final armchair judgement.

I think everyone agrees the family has issues. Where they begin and end is for them to work out.

greeneyes 07-23-2005 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyrnel
It's very much of consequence. To take a position that her actions excuse anything by others is to validate whatever manipulation may have taken place to obtain the recording. Once you've been worked a few times you learn to step back and look for the full picture. Unfortunately, it's not available to us so best to reserve final armchair judgement.

I think everyone agrees the family has issues. Where they begin and end is for them to work out.

I'm not saying that if there was manipulation to begin with that it should be excused away. What I am saying is that as a parent, there are better ways to deal with situations and under no circumstance should she have treated her child (or anyone for that matter) in that manner.

She was acting like a complete child and not the adult that she should be.


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