Proper Funeral Attire - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

f6twister · 06-05-2005, 08:18 AM

My wife and I are attending a funeral tomorrow. My wife is pregnant and has outgrown most of her normal dress clothes. She can chose between two things: a pair of khaki capri's and a pair of black polyester pants. Now, normally the black pants would be the obvious choice but there is another issue. My wife is constantly hot due to the pregnancy and the temperature outside is supposed to be between 85 & 90. She has gotten warm enough to feel faint and need to sit down, and this is with wearing normal summer clothes. So, are the capri's appropriate to wear to a funeral or is it too casual? Does she have some leeway since she is pregnant?

Hash_Browns · 06-05-2005, 08:21 AM

This is something I would judge by how well you know the family, and what's going to be easier for your wife. If she knows that the only way for her to be comfortable is to wear the capri's, then by all means, wear them. I am of course 7mo. pregnant, so I might be thinking a little off kilter then most would

But funerals aren't any reason to make yourself faint, sick or any other kind of reaction she may have. Wear what feels right, stay cool, and don't be afraid to as to go sit down if you aren't feeling well.

amonkie · 06-05-2005, 09:22 AM

Capris can be dressed up or down depending on how you wear them. If your wife is not comfortable, she is not going to be able to really focus on the reason why you guys are there in the first place. I'm sure there is some leeway in the dress code department when your options are limited, as it is in your wife's case. Does she have a dressier top that she could wear? Do that combined with comfortable black sandals or something, and she should be ok.

Psycho Dad · 06-05-2005, 12:45 PM

I'd think that one can pay their respects no matter what the attire. But that's just me. Weddings, funerals, church... I think it should matter not what one wears but the person's reason for being there.

Grasshopper Green · 06-05-2005, 05:54 PM

At my brother's funeral, there were plenty of women in casual pants. Some people came in jeans. One girl even came in her work uniform. We didn't care; the reason they were there was to pay their final respects to my brother and support my family. A funeral isn't a fashion show; if people have a problem that your wife is in capris then they need to rethink the reason they are at the funeral...to compare fashions or mourn a person's death.

If your wife still feels unsure, pair it with a dressy top like amonkie said. There is no reason for your wife to get sick because of this, IMO.

Seeker · 06-05-2005, 06:23 PM

I have been to more funerals than I'd care to mention. Each has been different. Most have been fairly relaxed but there have been a couple that called for 'appropriate dress'. I think if you knew the person well enough, and the family involved then you could use that to gauge your attire... that has always been my approach anyway.

Slavakion · 06-05-2005, 06:47 PM

People who know what's good for them give pregnant women a lot of slack. If it was me, I wouldn't care if she showed up in shorts and a tank top...

spindles · 06-05-2005, 07:16 PM

Echoing what everyone else says - you wear what you have... and this does not just apply to pregnant women - if you are there for the right reason, then the clothes don't matter.

Would you expect anyone to have to go out and purchase an outfit to go to a funeral? That hardly seems right to me.

doodlebird · 06-05-2005, 07:53 PM

yup. dressy top. black if you've got it. and you can almost guarantee that the family won't even notice what you're wearing. they will appreciate that you are there for them. don't forget to add some kind words and a hug. pregnant woman hugs always bring a smile, and heavens knows these folks could use a few.

06-05-2005, 08:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
f6twister Addict	Proper Funeral Attire My wife and I are attending a funeral tomorrow. My wife is pregnant and has outgrown most of her normal dress clothes. She can chose between two things: a pair of khaki capri's and a pair of black polyester pants. Now, normally the black pants would be the obvious choice but there is another issue. My wife is constantly hot due to the pregnancy and the temperature outside is supposed to be between 85 & 90. She has gotten warm enough to feel faint and need to sit down, and this is with wearing normal summer clothes. So, are the capri's appropriate to wear to a funeral or is it too casual? Does she have some leeway since she is pregnant? __________________ A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

06-05-2005, 08:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
Hash_Browns Psycho Location: Right behind you...BOO!	This is something I would judge by how well you know the family, and what's going to be easier for your wife. If she knows that the only way for her to be comfortable is to wear the capri's, then by all means, wear them. I am of course 7mo. pregnant, so I might be thinking a little off kilter then most would But funerals aren't any reason to make yourself faint, sick or any other kind of reaction she may have. Wear what feels right, stay cool, and don't be afraid to as to go sit down if you aren't feeling well. __________________ Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

06-05-2005, 09:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	Capris can be dressed up or down depending on how you wear them. If your wife is not comfortable, she is not going to be able to really focus on the reason why you guys are there in the first place. I'm sure there is some leeway in the dress code department when your options are limited, as it is in your wife's case. Does she have a dressier top that she could wear? Do that combined with comfortable black sandals or something, and she should be ok. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

06-05-2005, 12:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	I'd think that one can pay their respects no matter what the attire. But that's just me. Weddings, funerals, church... I think it should matter not what one wears but the person's reason for being there. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

06-05-2005, 05:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	At my brother's funeral, there were plenty of women in casual pants. Some people came in jeans. One girl even came in her work uniform. We didn't care; the reason they were there was to pay their final respects to my brother and support my family. A funeral isn't a fashion show; if people have a problem that your wife is in capris then they need to rethink the reason they are at the funeral...to compare fashions or mourn a person's death. If your wife still feels unsure, pair it with a dressy top like amonkie said. There is no reason for your wife to get sick because of this, IMO. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

06-05-2005, 06:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
Seeker Getting Clearer Location: with spirit	I have been to more funerals than I'd care to mention. Each has been different. Most have been fairly relaxed but there have been a couple that called for 'appropriate dress'. I think if you knew the person well enough, and the family involved then you could use that to gauge your attire... that has always been my approach anyway. __________________ *To those who wander but who are not lost...* ~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.

06-05-2005, 06:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
Slavakion Mjollnir Incarnate Location: Lost in thought	People who know what's good for them give pregnant women a lot of slack. If it was me, I wouldn't care if she showed up in shorts and a tank top...

06-05-2005, 07:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	Echoing what everyone else says - you wear what you have... and this does not just apply to pregnant women - if you are there for the right reason, then the clothes don't matter. Would you expect anyone to have to go out and purchase an outfit to go to a funeral? That hardly seems right to me. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

06-05-2005, 07:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
doodlebird pío pío Location: on a branch about to break	yup. dressy top. black if you've got it. and you can almost guarantee that the family won't even notice what you're wearing. they will appreciate that you are there for them. don't forget to add some kind words and a hug. pregnant woman hugs always bring a smile, and heavens knows these folks could use a few. __________________ xoxo doodle