Please help me, Getting Married.
 

My Dear Dear Friends:

I had proposed to my girlfiend of 5 years yesterday, and I would like to ask for help on coming up with a "Getting Married" checklist, including civil procedures, any medical exams, invitations, and stuff.

I am no clue and we have 6 months to get prepared, I don't even know how to start, Please help. Any advice are appreciated. I am in Toronto, Ontario, hence if there is any Torontonian that can offer some advice it would be great.

Our situation:

We are both in my mid-thirties, we live together in our condo, with her son from a previous relationship. We are house hunting now and is actively looking to buy in Scarborough, ON.

I would love to get an idea of how much is this thing gonna cost me, my girlfriend is a physician, she does okay financinally and is gonna come up with the downpayment on the house. I think I am going to pay for the wedding and any related item just to be fair.

thanks y'all

congrats on the engagement!!!

I cant be a lot of help on some things since you're in another country but I use this site for keeping up with some things http://www.ezweddingplanner.com/

I also have a planner book and am part of a wedding message board (it has guys on it too) so if you're interested PM me and I'll give you the URL. It will give you some great ideas on things.

Just keep in mind, anything you can do yourself is worth it. Anything with the word "wedding" in it is marked up 700% :lol:

Congratulations, my wedding is just 2 weeks away so I know what you are going thru.

I can tell you a little about how it works in Alberta, which should be fairly similar to Ontario.

**Marriage license costs around $70
**You don't need any medical tests
**see if you can find a jewler that will make custom wedding bands for you. It shouldn't cost anymore than the off-the-shelf stuff and can be far more meaning full that way.

When I think of more useful advice I'll post more here... good luck

To give you an idea, I suppose, my sister's wedding cost about $20,000AUD in total. But that was one damn nice ceremony, 50 guests, and the reception went nearly all night.

thanks a lot man, would love to take a look at the Wedding Message Board that you are talking about.

thanks Albertan, do you have a checklist that I can borrow? thanks again

Last time I checked I was chick, at least when I was in the shower this morning I was :lol:

just a tip..when you go get a cake..are booking the hall and renting the tuxes...say its for something besides a wedding..because as shani said if they hear/smell wedding in teh air teh prices go wayyyyyyy up. get an estimate on everything first THEN you can breathe the 'W' word :) and if yoru writing your own vows...make sure you give yourself enough time to do them properly. :) good luck :)

Very good tips, need more, thanks again

Enjoy yourself... thats my tip. Hopefully you'll only do this once and just enjoy it. It'll be great no matter what you plan.

Don't stress about the little things. For instance, my wife and I had a large argument about whether or not to get chair covers at the reception or not. It was a big deal in terms of money. We ultimately decided not to get them. I cannot think of a single person that could tell you whether we had them or not without consulting pictures.

Things seem like such a huge deal when you are immersed in the planning. Just take a step back and look at the situation logically. Don't go into debt over this. It should be enjoyable, and whether or not you have a swan made of ice sitting next to the cake is not going to change how enjoyable it is.

Have fun :thumbsup:

thanks guys, my girlfriend is the second of three sisters, both of her sisters have been divorced twice now, and they are great people, just have some serious bad luck with men. It's just downright spooky, I am hoping to do this right, not looking for an extravaganza, but is looking for all the bells and whistles attached to a normal wedding,

anyone got a checklist that I can borrow?

www.theknot.com is the website we used, and they have a lot of useful information - no matter what country you're from.
They also have a checklist and will even email you reminders if you like - what's due when and all that. Plus, check out the bookstore - there's a TON of information on that stuff. Another money saver - sell the dress after the wedding. I still haven't done it, 6 months later, but I am going to. Why let a beautiful dress go to waste?

great, thank you Jess, I think I figured out that there is a marriage license to applied for and a wedding, I am just wondering is there anything in between these two things?

thanks again

I got a laugh out of the subject line, figured you didn't want to get married ; - )

If you go to any large bookstore, you will be able to select a wedding planner book. Also, there are a number of bridal magazines that have free checkbooks and pamphlets.

It's good to have somebody that you trust that will help you organize it. Someone who won't intercede too much in your wedding plans. On the day of, you and your bride's responsibility should ONLY be to walk down the aisle, in our opinion. Your assistance should be handling all of the details from that point on to let you just enjoy your day.

first off -- have a drink and relax- you seem a little stressed out about this now... you are going to implode way before the wedding... Relax....

Deep Breath...

Some things you want to decide
what kind of wedding to you want? Formal, Casual, Garden Party, Sitdown dinner, Cocktails and hors d'ourves (that'd be my choice) Evening or daytime.

Now, where I live 6 months would be really tight in booking a place for the reception whehter it be a hotel, a banquet facility, or the foreigh legion hall-- they all just fill up quickly. So, I'd start looking for where you want to have it-- Where you want to have it may depend on what type of wedding you want to have.

Who's coming to the wedding? Do you have big families, tons of friends -- that would all be crushed if not invited, or do you have a small group of friends and family. The answer to questions above, may be dependent on this.

Get yourself a notebook -- so that everything is in one place, and start jotting down guest lists and places you want to have your wedding.

Who's in your wedding party and how big will that be? Will all her sisters be brides maids? What about close girlfriends? Are there enough groomsmen to match up?

Church wedding (that also will need to get booked fairly soon, they also book up pretty quickly, and depending on your religion, you might have to go thru some marriage classes (Pre-Cana in the Catholic Church)

One word: Wang. Well, two, VERA WANG!
Just Kidding, disregard that, except streak_56 ;)

maleficent is right, decide what you want and then plan from there. Your wife to be will probably be in charge of some things but the location, photographer, food, people, etc will be something you decide together.

This day should be enjoyable for you, your new wife, friends and family. Focus on doing that. It's a celebtration after all. :)

Another good first step is to discuss the amount you wish to spend on the wedding with your fiancee. It sounds like you will soon have a new home to attend to and that might have more priority to her than a lavish event.

So many things to consider. :)

thank you Maleficent, and my other humble friends,

a bit more update:

1) We plan to buy a new house this year and move in by Aug 26, the ceremony won't take place until next year. My uncle (dad's brother) owns a 400 seat restaurent, so I figure I can get a date we want no problem for the facility

2) Friends wise we will max out at 50, but we both have a lot of business associates so that can balloon to 250, I really don't want to invite that many people. It is a first marriage for both but my girlfriend has a son, so I want to keep it low.

3) Her sisters keeps telling her that the wedding should be this and that, and I need to buy a engagement ring soon, like really soon, I proposed without a ring (now that's the unthinkable, I can't believe I did that). My girlfriend doesn't want me to over spend but her sisters and friends all have like 1.2crt rings, so that's like $10G.

4) In my view, there isn't really anything to do, the marriage license is easy, the wedding ceremony is most likely about invitations and who to invite. So my stress comes from I don't know what's the big deal about it, everyone tells me it's a lot of stuff to do but they can't give me more than three things every time I ask for details

I don't know if there will be a dance. Or a bar, and if a bar a cash bar or one where you carry the bill. Some places there is no choice because the bar and folks paying for all booze but the wine you supply is part of the hall's cut. There are all kinds of wineries that will get wine with special labels with whatever you want on them for toasts if you are going to go with alcohol (the only wedding I was at that was "dry" was a mennonite one west of London Ont.).

Big deal for me. We had a live band. We asked for a song. We got up to do the first dance, and they started doing Donny Osmondes "This is Not a Puppy Love". I was frozen and my new bride held me and whispered to not make a scene, so we danced it out. I felt ill after and drank to ease the pain. Not loaded, but I sure didn't like that little surprise. So if there are tunes and a dj possibly burn your own wedding songs on a cd. Make 2 copies, and give one to the dj and the other to the best man to keep somewhere handy just in case.

The lot of stuff to do is a lots and lots of little things that add up, plus add in to it the stress of getting married, and the desire for everything to be perfect. It's the quest for perfection that turns many brides (and grooms) into Bridezilla and Groomzilla.

FOrget listening to the sisters, the wedding should be about what you want. If you want your dog to be the ring bearer, and you want a quiet ceremony on a beach some where, then do it... You don't need to turn it into a three ring circus if you don't want it to... You just have to keep listening to each other and tune others (including me :)

Mal just gave the only important advice. Do it your way. :)

Thank you all, the advice are all great, any little tips are greatly appreciated